JONGIN

 

 

He was right. Kimchi spaghetti is my favorite, especially if it's Kyunsgsoo's. Damn that boy can cook. After we ate I put on some of his pajamas and we watched a movie- a feel good rom com of course, because Kyungsoo insisted that it would make me feel better. The cheesiness of he movie did make me feel a little bit better. 

 

A little bit.

 

But the thing that really made me cheer up was how Kyungsoo put his arm around my shoulders and traced comforting, little circles on my arm; and how he let me lean my head on his shoulder. The way he laughed at the funny parts, and almost cried at the sad parts. The way he would check on me every few seconds, to make sure I was okay. Most of all, the way he didn't wake me up at the end of the movie so he could go to bed. He just shifted so that his arms were around me, and I was curled into his front side; and we slept like that all night. 

 

When I woke up in the morning, it was only because of the smell. Pancakes. Kyungsoo was spoiling me.

 

I sat up and stretched my arms before standing and shaking out my legs. Kyungsoo turned around, and his smile was almost as wide as his eyes were. Almost.

 

"Good morning, Jonginnie. How did you sleep?" He asked me, turning back around to the stove.

 

I thought about it for a minute, and then told him the honest to goodness truth.

 

"Better than I have in a long time". He froze, but picked back up with the cooking less than a second later, his pause would have been imperceptible to those who weren't looking for it.

 

"Well... Good. I'm glad". He turned with a plate of pancakes and set them in the table, he motioned with his head to tell me they were mine, and went back to cooking.

 

I my dry lips, and made my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. My eyes were still red from crying the previous day, and my hair was mussed from sleeping. But other than that, I looked okay. I splashed my face with water and ran a wet hand through my messy hair. That would have to do, I couldn't do better anyway.

 

I returned to the kitchen table, only to see Kyungsoo waiting for me, a plate in front of himself as well.

 

"You didn't have to wait," I told him.

 

"It's polite to wait for your...eating companion?" He raised one eyebrow and scrunched up his face, clearly not liking his choice of words.

 

I sat down and picked up my fork. I stuck a bite of pancake in my mouth, and chewed slowly. Oh. My. God. 

 

"Kyungsoo... These are so good! I could just kiss you!" I teased, quoting the movie from the night before. He blushed.

 

"Thanks," he took a bite as well, "they could be better".

 

I got up and went to get a cup for water; but on the counter was an envelope with my name on it.

 

"Hyung...what's this?" 

 

His eyes widened, "oh...nothing! Just...ummm".

 

"Hyung".

 

"It was outside the door this morning, I was going to give it to you after breakfast, let you gave a good start to your day, I guess". He looked at the tiled floor. I looked back at the envelope. It was definitely from Sehun, I would know his handwriting anywhere. I picked up the envelope. It wasn't flat, there was more than a letter in it. I debated opening it. I could feel Kyungsoo staring holes into my back. I took the envelope and walked to the bathroom with it, wanting some privacy to read it.

 

I opened it, and a small box fell out. On the paper there were only five words.

 

I'm sorry.

You left this.

 

I opened the box and my ring fell out, my favorite ring actually. I rarely took it off, and when I did I strung it on a cord and wore it around my neck. I had forgotten about it. Sehun had give it to me for our one year anniversary, I'd worn it every day since.

 

I closed my eyes, remembering everything that had happened yesterday. I swallowed back the tears. I wouldn't waste anymore tears over this. I could either fix this or end it. My choice. I needed to think. I leaned my head back on the bathroom cabinet, my eyes still squeezed tight. I felt Kyungsoo's presence in the doorway. I opened my eyes and looked right into his. They were so deep, they held so much feeling. My eyes drifted to his lips. Perfect bowtie lips. I wondered what it would be like to kiss them. 

 

. Isn't this exactly what I got angry at Sehun about? . . . 

 

I stood up and pushed past his form leaning against the doorway. 

 

"Jongin?"

 

"I...have to go.  Need to talk to him. Talk it over. I overreacted..."

 

"I know," I looked down into those eyes again, willing my own not to drift, they did anyway, back to his lips. He noticed this time and his mouth turned up at the corners, barely noticeable. "I know you need to talk to him...if you need to come back... You can. You now that, right Jonginnie?" 

 

"Yes..umm.. Yes, Hyung I know," I bit my tongue, turning around, but he rushed forward and hugged me before I could leave. I wrapped my arms around him and took a deep breath. He still smelled like cinnamon. 

 

 

Twenty minutes later, I had gotten a cab and was standing in front of my apartment building. I wasn't sure I was ready to see Sehun yet, but here I was. I couldn't think of any other place to go. I live here. I thought for a while... Joonmyun should have gotten back yesterday, he must have fund Sehun. Maybe he'd know if Sehun was still home.

 

I called him. The phone rang, and rang, and rang and he finally picked up.

 

"You ," his voice whispered over the phone.

 

"Well, good morning to you too, Joonmyun," I muttered. I should have known he would be angry, I don't know what Sehun told him. "Listen, Joonmyun-"

 

"I came back last night, at eleven o'clock, only to find Sehun, curled up in a ball, crying  his eyes out, in the LOBBY. He's a mess. And if you're calling to get me to apologize for you, don't even think about it because-"

 

"Joonmyun, I'm a big boy. I can apologize myself".

 

"Then why haven't you? Why are you at Kyungsoo's house, huh?"

 

"I'm not there anymore, I just needed some time to think. And how did you know I was at Kyungsoo Hyung's," I asked.

 

"Oh that's nice, Jongin. That's really nice. Just some time to think? Do you have any idea the things your boyfriend has been saying while you were 'thinking'? He hasn't eaten since last night. He won't get out of bed, and he's STILL crying. Do you know how screwed up he is over this?

 

"I get that, I do. And I feel awful, I just want to talk to him-"

 

"The you had better get your sorry over here, Jongin, because he's been saying some really scary things, and if you don't show up soon he going to loose it,"

 

"I am here, I'm outside the building, I just wanted to...make sure he was home".

 

"Then get up here so you can apologize and I can kick your ".

 

With that, he hung up. Great. Now I have an upset Sehun, and a murderous Joonmyun on my hands.

 

I jogged up the stairs to the lobby, and pushed open the doors. I went straight down the hall to our room, and unlocked the door. Joonmyun was waiting on the living room couch. He just shook his head at me. Not angrily, but like he had given up, like he couldn't do anything else.  I had never seen Joonmyun give up. Sehun must really be a mess.

 

Where? I mouthed at Joonmyun.

 

Bedroom. He pointed, I nodded and headed over.

 

I opened the door, stepped in, and closed it behind me as quietly as I could. When I turned around, Sehun was sitting up in bed. He looked...horrible. He shook his head at me like he thought I wasn't real. He sighed. 

 

Just a dream. He muttered.

 

My heart skipped a beat. He didn't even think this was real? I had hurt him so badly that he thought I would never come back? I walked over to the bed and kneeled in front of him. He stared right int my eyes, I could tell he knew that it was really me, that I was real, but he his side to face the other way. 

 

"If you're here to apologize," he rasped his voice hoarse, like he'd been yelling, "don't bother".

 

"But Sehun-ah, I-"

 

"You didn't do anything wrong". He flipped back over to look at me, and a tear streamed across his face. Down his nose, and onto the bed.

"What? Sehun... I didn't-"

 

"Do anything wrong. I know, I just told you that," he interrupted. His bottom lip quivered, and more tears ran down his face. I reached to wipe them away, but he flinched, like he thought I was going to hit him. I opened my mouth to speak, but he covered it with his hand, and shook his head.

 

"You don't have to say it. I know you're here to break up with me, and just get your stuff. I know. You don't have to say it. Make it easier on both of us and just go". His hand cupped my cheek, and then he withdrew it. I shook my head, was he crazy? Break up with him?

 

"Sehun-ah-"

 

"Please," he stared me in the eyes, "we've hurt each other enough already. I understand. So just go".

 

"Sehun-ah, I'm not breaking up with you. I could never... I could never do that". I was crying now.

 

"But after what I did to you, after everything. I don't deserve you, or your forgiveness," he closed his eyes.

 

"No. No, Sehun-ah. I'm the one that messed up, okay? I overreacted, and I'm the one that doesn't deserve forgiveness," I tried to smile, but I just ended up crying more instead.

 

"So...just put it behind us then?" He asked hopefully.

 

"Yes. Please. I would like that; and let's try not to fight anymore. Ever again. I hate it".

 

"Mmhmm, no more fighting, and I won't see Luhan again, okay? I'll change classes...I'll-"

 

"No. No it's okay. You can, I trust you, and I should have trusted you in the first place".

 

His hands found my face, and they brushed away my tears. I smiled a small smile at him. He leaned forward and kissed me softly, quickly, and leaned his forehead against mine.

 

"I love you so much, Jongin. I'm never going to let you go again. Never," he whispered against my lips.

 

"I love you too, Sehun-ah". I kissed him back, and he pulled me up to the bed with him. 

 

His face was wet, and I kissed away the tears that remained. I trailed kisses down his neck, and lifted his shirt over his head. He looked at me, surprised, smiled, shook his head, and laughed. He pulled my face back to his and kissed me harder. More urgently, like he thought I would leave him. I pulled back, though I didn't want to.

 

"Hey, hey," I held his face in my hands, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise". He nodded and buried his head in my neck, and I saw Joonmyun stick a thumbs up through the door. He clearly got the cue to leave and I tried hard not to laugh, but ended up laughing anyway. Sehun glanced up, and laughed as well when he saw Joonmyun smiling sheepishly in the doorway.

 

"Oh, Joonmyun, were you spying?" Sehun sauntered over, teasing him. I laughed harder, rolling around on the bed. 

 

"Excuse me, I was just letting you know that I was leaving, so that you guys could-" he stopped short and blushed furiously. 

 

"Hyung!" I screeched, "you totally blocked me!" I said between laughs. I in a few deep breaths.

 

"Awwww! Thanks for helping us make up, Hyung! You always know what to do!" Sehun squealed, hugging him and squishing his cheeks together, making his lips pucker up. 

 

"Yah! Sehun-ah, my face!" He yanked his face out of Sehun's grasp, and we all burst out laughing again. 

 

"Anyone up for bubble tea?" Sehun looked around at us mischievously.

 

"Yeah. Sure. Hyung, how about you?" I raised my eyebrows in his direction.

 

"Fine. Let me grab my stuff..." He jogged out of the room and down the hall. I leaned back so I was hanging off the bed, and reached for my phone which was on the floor. I saw that I had a text from an unrecognized number. I clicked it. I wish I hadn't.

 

Jongin, we need to talk. Now.

 

 

 

LUHAN (underlined is Luhan's said of the conversation, Bold is Jongin's side; italics are Luhan's thoughts)

 

 

Ummm.... 

 

It's about...it's about Sehun.    I typed. 

 

Look, I don't know who you are, or how you got my phone number, but you need to leave us alone.   . I freaked him out. Maybe he remembers me by name?

 

Jongin, it's Luhan.     

 

Hang on... Two minutes later, my phone rang.

 

 

"Jongin! Thank god you called! Listen to me! You-"

 

"How did you get my phone number? And why are you texting me?" He interrupted. 

 

"....wait a second," I went into another room to get away from everyone else. "Okay. Look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but-"

 

"No. I don't want to talk to you, Luhan. For all I know, you tried to bang my boyfriend. How did you get my phone number?" He pressed.

 

"I figured you wouldn't remember..." I mumbled, "we umm....we had . Once".

 

"Wow. Way to sugar coat it...ummm....when?" I heard the smile in his voice.

 

"Does it really matter, Jongin?" I asked, exasperated.

 

"No. I guess not. I do know it's been at least two years. I'm glad you had enough fun to remember," clearly, he was not smiling anymore, "so why'd you try to steal my boyfriend from me, huh?"

 

"I didn't know he was your boyfriend. I'm sorry. Look...I heard that you guys had a fight and...I just wanted to make sure he was okay and-"

 

"Not your job, Luhan. Not your job," he practically spit at me.

 

"I know, I know, but he's my friend. I just didn't want to ruin something that he had..."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"Weren't you fighting about me? Because Sehun and I were hanging out?"

 

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart," he said. 

 

Was he always this cold? I wondered.

 

"Anyway, I-"

 

"You nothing, Luhan. Stay away from Sehun.  I don't want you talking to him, or looking at him, or thinking about him; and if you do, if you end up hurting him in any way, you'll regret it. Got it?"

 

"Yes, yes I get it. I'll leave him alone. I'm sorry. Bye".  I hung up. I walked back to the kitchen and sat down.

 

"So...how long have you had Jongin's phone number?" Yixing bounced his eyebrows up and down.

 

"It's not like that, Yixing. We haven't talked to each other in years, and we only really talked....once," I informed him.

 

"Ooohhh, hahaha. Oh Luhan, you didn't!" Wu Fan laughed for the first time that I had ever seen, everyone gaped at him. 

 

"Shut up, Wu Fan," I said through my teeth.

 

"Oh my god, this is rich. Oh, god," he wiped a fake tear from his eye.

 

"Wait...what?" Minseok wondered aloud.

 

I sighed. 

 

"Well," Wu Fan started, "one of Jongin's favorite things to do is-"

 

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I was you, Wu Fan," I warned him.

 

"Oh, come on! How long has it been? Four years? And you still have his phone number in your phone? That's pathetic!" He laughed harder.

 

"Look, Wu Fan, I never thought about calling him, I just liked seeing his name there, that's all. It reminds me," I used the Yixing eyebrow bounce. 

 

"Ugh, nasty. Nasty. You did not need to tell me that," he mad a disgusted face.

 

"I'M STILL CONFUSED!" The rest of them shouted in unison.

 

"Let's just say," Wu Fan looked at me, "that Luhan will be able to share some hot, dirty details with you if he ever feels like it".

 

Minseok and Jong Dae looked at each other.

 

"No way," Minseok said, "you did not".

 

"Yeah, I did. And it's really none of your business-" Yixing, Minseok and Jong Dae dropped to the floor and started bowing. I rolled my eyes at them.

 

"Wait..... Wait. I still don't get it!" Zitao whined. 

 

"Oh, Taozi," Wu Fan said, "Luhan had with Kim Jongin".

 

"Wow thank you, Wu Fan!" I screeched and Zitao gaped at me. "Oh my god! Can we not talk about this? It was like...four years ago!"

 

"Wait wait. He was only sixteen when this happened? So unexperienced! Hyung, I'm sure you taught him a few things," Yixing teased. Wu Fan snorted.

 

"Oh, Yixing. Jongin may have been unexperienced at the age of 12. But after that, he was like a machine. It's ridiculous, actually-"

 

"Oh my god! We are not having this conversation! Not now. Not ever. And Boazi! Will you ever stop bowing?!" I screamed.

 

"I am not worthy, I am not worthy," he chanted in reply. I groaned and looked at my watch. 1:45. I had 45 minutes to get ready for class.

 

"Okay, all of you, out of my house, out. Out. Out. Shoo!" I waved them out the door.

 

 They all hugged each other, and waved to me, knowing I needed to get to school. I jogged up the stairs to my room and showered and got dressed, preparing myself for the the tough task of ignoring Oh Sehun in class today.