I picked at a spot on the couch cushion. It was small and barely bothersome unless you really took a look at it. The balcony was ajar and allowing a night breeze to drift through the living room. I felt the spot give a little, so I stopped, not wanting to ruin the perfectly nice corduroy. Then again, it was already ruined with that one point, so why not just continue picking at it?

“What’s wrong?”

 My hand froze mid-air and I looked up to see Donghae coming closer. “Why are you still awake? It’s late.”

He shrugged and dropped down in the seat beside me. I thought about scooting away, but there was no more room and that would mean leaving behind the spot I had diligently been working at. “It’s not that late and we have a late start tomorrow as well.” Donghae tilted his head, gazing at me. “Your meeting with Kyuhyun…it didn’t sound like it had gone well earlier.”

“I expected what happened,” I answered truthfully. Really, nothing was shocking or even painful—my nail hooked inside the spot, widening the gap. “Why?” Kyuhyun wasn’t someone who knew restraint. No matter how many visions of that night played through my mind, I knew it was an illusion. He wouldn’t have meant any of those soft sighs or sweet murmurs or gentle touches. That wasn’t the Kyuhyun I always knew, so why had I let it fool me – let it throw me off so much?

“You’re ruining the couch.” Donghae took my hand, pulling it away from the corduroy. I exhaled, not lifting my head to see him. “Ryeowook, would you care if I told you that I was responsible for making you see Kyuhyun?”

“I already knew that,” I closed my eyes, feeling his fingers running over the back of my hand, “but you didn’t make him act like he always does. That was Kyuhyun in his natural state.”

He entwined our fingers and I stared down at them. There was such a difference and yet the longer I studied them, the more I realized how similar we were. Calloused palms touched calloused palms, and cleans fingernails curved over smooth skin. “Then you’re not mad?”

Mad? How could I be mad when he did nothing? If anything, he helped me see the truth again. I had been romanticizing my relationship with Kyuhyun. We weren’t a forbidden love or a high school romance or even bad-boy-gone-good-for-love. What were we then?

I was another side character in his life. I could come and go without anyone noticing. Why had I tried to infiltrate his story? Changmin was his counterpart. Wasn’t that obvious?

He was the new kid in school. He stood up to Kyuhyun. It was picture perfect. And from what I saw on the train, they were already on their way to a place together. Changmin was his proper partner, not me or any other useless kid.

A soft voice hummed against my hair. I breathed in deeply, coming to my senses only to realize that I had fallen half into Donghae’s lap. His arms were around my waist, and my head rested against his shoulder. There was a wet patch under my cheek, which just made me want to laugh. “W-Why am I crying?” Lips moved against Donghae’s collarbone. His scent wrapped around me like a warm blanket. How could someone so sadistic have such a gentle aroma?

“I don’t know why either,” he mumbled, running his fingertips down the nape of my neck. “…maybe you miss him?”

“That’s not it,” I choked, “I f-feel so stupid.” A sob burst from my throat and I tightened my grip on his shirt. “I…I wanted to be the m-main character…I wanted to be p-part of his s-story.” Why did it have to be Changmin? Was it because he was actually a good person? I used to think that I was the best influence in Kyuhyun’s life, but I had to be wrong. Changmin was sincerely straight-laced. “I…guess I wasn’t good enough.”

“You’re much better than all of them,” he whispered like the most refreshing breeze. I felt myself relaxing even more in his arms and maybe I would’ve been uncomfortable before, but it was alright in that moment. Donghae made it seem as if everything would work out so long as I stayed in his warmth. “You’re special…that’s why you couldn’t fit into that story. All of them are the same, but you’re different, Ryeowook. You want to change the world. You want to make everything better.”

He was right. Of course he was right. “How do you know we’ll succeed?”

Donghae chuckled, his thumb pressing and brushing across my cheek. I turned to look up at him. His face was barely an inch away, those shining, lively eyes pulling me deeper into new territory. “Because I will be there,” he murmured, “I’ll protect you from everything and anything that could stop us from achieving our goal.”

“Empty words,” I scoffed, a smile forming on my face.

He smirked lightly, “I’ll prove it to you one day.”

“I hope you won’t have to.”

“I hope so, too,” Donghae agreed, a tad tiredly.

“Are we supposed to kiss now?” Considering our proximity, it seemed like that was the next step.

He tilted his head, eyelids lowering, “I think so,” he moved past my lips though, speaking close to my ear, “but we’re not very traditional, nor should we be.” And then he pulled me against his body. My fingers curled into his shirt, and I closed my eyes.

“You’re warm,” I mumbled.

“You are, too.”