I had never wanted to punch my parole officer more. There were plenty of times where I idly considered it, but this time, if Changmin wasn’t holding me back I would’ve lunged at him. “How can you say that?!” I screamed, throat burning and hoarse. “He’s your son!”

The calmly closed his hands over the table, not looking at me. “Yes, he’s my son and that’s why I understand him best—”

“—don’t give me that bull-ing- you motherer,” I cut in, struggling to keep my voice steady. “Ryeowook might not know, but I’m not that stupid. I know that you’re not the upstanding stiff you act like.” I shut my eyes, trying not to spit on him. “But whatever, that’s your problem. You don’t know the first thing about Ryeowook. You didn’t even come to his graduation. You leave him alone with someone like me.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you seriously get what stupid you’ve done? Your son isn’t my parole officer, why the was he the one who always helped me?”

“If this is about neglecting you, we can talk about it another time,” he sighed.

I tore out of Changmin’s hold, ripping the table up. It crashed into the floor, my parole officer standing up.

“Kyuhyun!” he shouted.

“Oh, that gets a reaction, dumb-?” I kicked one of the chairs over, breaking the leg of it. “Well why doesn’t the death of your son get one?”

“HE’S NOT DEAD!”

I involuntarily stepped back, staring into his breaking eyes. Maybe I should’ve felt sympathy for him. After all, his son just died. But I didn’t feel anything like pity for him. He hardly deserved it. “Why would you care?” I asked softly, watching surprise and denial swarm on his face. “Denial? Really? You think you knew Ryeowook well enough to be in denial? Stop joking. You’re embarrassed that you ed up. You haven’t cared about your son since your wife died.”

His fist came then, but I dodged it, starting to back away to the door. Changmin was right behind me, unlocking it.

“I hope you’re happy.”

Confusion flitted across his features.

“You drove him to run away. You killed your son.”

Changmin slammed the door.

I wasn’t sure how far we had run, but it had to be a lengthy distance because there were no police cars following us. My mind was spinning with energy and adrenaline polluted my veins. It felt great to be alive and relieved of all those pent-up emotions.

Then again, it didn’t change much of anything.

Donghae was Yesung’s follower or something. He had to know what he was talking about.

Did I cry and get all flowery and ? No. I’m not some .

But I was pissed.

How could Ryeowook leave me like that? Had he wanted to get away from all of this so badly? Why couldn’t we work it out together? That night was what bothered me most. If he had been thinking about leaving, why didn’t he take me along or at least decide to stay? With only a month and a half left of high school, we could’ve started over – maybe together, even. I could’ve been there for him. I had been there for him since we first met, or so I thought.

“Kyuhyun? Are you listening?”

I turned my head, seeing Changmin. He was holding a convenience store sandwich, another extended to me. Taking it, I started unwrapping the foil. “What is it?”

“What are you going to do now? Your parole officer is probably gonna report you.”

“I didn’t do ,” I shrugged slowly, “besides, it’s already too late. Yesterday was his last day as my keeper.”

Changmin smiled knowingly and stretched his legs out. “You really planned everything didn’t you?”

“Even got my court hearing bumped up to two days ago,” I smirked. “But that’s beside the point. I don’t know what to do now.” It felt strange to admit something like that, but it was the truth. “Ryeowook wasn’t my life or anything, but…how do you react to the death of someone you care about?”

“There are different ways,” Changmin responded, “but in your case, I think you’re still in denial. Yeah, you’ve been capable of saying he’s dead, but you don’t sound convinced.”

“I’m not convinced.”

“Well, start getting convinced because he’s gone.”

No matter how many times someone said that, I couldn’t comprehend it. My brain didn’t understand the statement. Ryeowook couldn’t just disappear forever like that. I could practically see him appearing again one day, giving me that casual glance and a short explanation for where he’s been.

“How do you know he’s gone?” I insisted, daring to be annoying.

Changmin continued with his patient, practiced voice, “I double checked the story Donghae gave you. There was an accident a city over and the person was a teenager fitting all of Ryeowook’s criteria.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything.” I knew I was being difficult as hell. Giving up was the last thing I wanted to do though. “If I don’t see it with my own eyes then I won’t believe it.”

“…Then what do you think about coming to work for the government…with me.”

There was a load of things that weren’t clicking in my head. For a smart person, I was feeling strangely out of the loop. “What?” I asked, lamely.

Changmin looked at me calmly. “There’s a program. It’ll be a lot of work, but if you want to find out what really happened to Ryeowook – in your words – then this is your only bet. No other program will offer you a chance considering your background.”

“What kind of program is it?”

“Covert operations.”

Again, I had to take a second to let that sink in. In essence, he wanted to be a spy? Was that a normal career choice? “And they’ll let me look for Ryeowook?”

“They’ll let you look into his disappearance,” Changmin corrected, “if you make it in.”

Well . I had never been under someone’s rule in that way before. Maybe it would be interesting. Or at least it would distract me from the things I couldn’t accept.