No one notices because I don’t make a production out of it.

Everyone has this problem and I’m just another face in the crowd of victims. There’s nothing to say about my feelings. I know that I am not alone.

Yet why doesn’t anyone else?

There’s a boy I see who’s picked on everyday of his life. And yet, he comes to class proudly showing off his bruises and cuts to gain silent sympathy and the obnoxious affection of his slowly forming band of friends. I hear them day after day talking about how to get out of the situation, but the boy never listens. He always says he’ll help and avenge himself as if it was a sworn duty.

In the end though, he just gets in the way. He gets beaten to a pulp while trying to protect his friends who are trying to protect him. Why do people do this?

Why must they make a show out of it?

Bullies feed on the desperation of the weak and helpless. They want to see the fear in your eyes and hear the cowardly tremble in your voice. In their minds, that is called power. Without power, they have nothing.

But that won’t change whether or not you’re bullied. I’m treated that way because of my tiny presence. If I was louder and bolder, they would come in hoards and attack like vultures. I don’t want to be something I’m not and that’s why there’s no reason to change myself like that boy. He hates himself and bullies can see that fact.

I love who I am. It doesn’t matter if other people don’t agree.

“What’re you reading?” Cho Kyuhyun scoffed as he nearly tore the book from the bullied boy’s hands. “Can an idiot like you even understand this simple English, Mir?”

That’s a nickname Kyuhyun gave the boy. I’m not sure what it means, but I just call him that as well. It’s easier than his real name. Whenever I watch one of these horribly amusing scenes, all I can think about is how Mir purposefully takes the spotlight as if he’s playing a coveted role. I could almost see the spotlights and curtains. I often wonder if he thinks that deep down Kyuhyun actually has feelings for him.

If that was possible, I would know by now. The person named Cho Kyuhyun isn’t your average gangster or bully. He was recently released after one year in juvenile prison. The original conviction was for violence, drug abuse, alcohol distribution, and underage alcohol consumption. I swear I’m not a stalker. There’s just always a reason for someone to be harassed. The reason why I’m harassed? My father is Kyuhyun’s parole officer.

I don’t really mind being in that position. Kyuhyun knows when to stop. If he goes too far, that just means he’ll be back in court before he can even utter an apology. Of course, these miniscule facts have nothing to do with his outright rudeness towards me. That’s just Cho Kyuhyun for you though.

He’s quite the eye-opener into human evil.

Often, I’ve found that the worst of people are the most beautiful and certainly, Kyuhyun fit that description. That was why he stayed that popular. He wasn’t really normal in any sense. His mind was excellent when sober and sound. His physical abilities were also top notch when he was at a fully conscious and aware state.

“Why do you always have to pick on him?” Mir’s little band of friends crowed. “It’s not like he did a bad thing.”

Kyuhyun gritted his teeth, leg lifting up in a fast and swift motion. Just as he was about to connect with the oblivious boy’s neck, the delinquent caught my eye and smirked. He took a deep breath and stepped back from the horrified boy. Lifting his arms up, he looked like he was making a sign of surrender, but then he swung his leg into the desk, knocking it over. Kyuhyun looked at me again, winked, and then stuck his tongue out like a child.

He could be cute when he wanted to. If you ignored the desk he probably just broke, Cho Kyuhyun looked like a complete angel.

“Mir, don’t cry,” one of his friends whispered urgently. The boy’s name was Seungho, I think. Or maybe it was Taemin? Hmm…sorry, I’m not very good with remembering everyone’s names.

“What? You’re crying again?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and snatched Mir by the collar. “Hold back his friends.” He then yanked the kid to the door, shoving it open and dragging Mir out of sight.

It was only a guess, but I think it was a pretty good guess that wherever they were going would be filled with unspeakable things. Maybe violent. Probably less.

After all, if it was violent, then Mir would’ve come back with bruises all over and blood on his clothes. Furthermore, Kyuhyun wasn’t stupid enough to beat someone up right in front of me.

I was a watchdog. I was his GPS tracker. I symbolized everything that restrained him.

***

“How was Kyuhyun today?”

I sat down at the dinner table just in time to see my father getting up to wash his plates before heading off to work. There was an array of food in front of me and a bowl of rice. “He’s a habitual liar, isn’t he?” I asked, picking up my chopsticks.

“Shouldn’t that be obvious already?” he grunted. “That kid is so quick to protect himself and play those tricky games. But why are you asking?”

“He hasn’t done anything bad,” I assured before my father could get anxious, “It’s just that I think he’s messing around with one of the kids at school.”

“Huh,” he muttered, “well I shouldn’t be surprised. Kyuhyun would swing the other way just to piss off the rest of society. Make sure you don’t let him fool you, too. That stuff is just…,” he bristled and laughed, “…wrong. People like that need help in the head.”

I guess it would be a good time to point out that I am, in fact, more interested in guys than girls. But that’s to be expected right? My father put me in an all-boys’ school for all of my education. It would be weird if I liked girls.

“Alright, I’m heading out. Make sure you lock up and don’t answer any calls unless they’re from Kyuhyun. And if they’re from Kyuhyun, make sure you forward the call to me immediately.” My dad was already halfway out the door by then. I just nodded in understanding and then he was gone.

It was strange for me sometimes. I mean, when your father cared more about a delinquent than you, it could be hard to communicate properly. He even blew off the fact that Kyuhyun was gay or bi or something like that. For me though, I’m pretty sure he would’ve screamed at me until I suddenly decided being with a girl is more convenient. That’s okay though. I know that that’s just how my father is. His life is his work, and his work is his life. There’s just no room for a son, right?

Some hours later, I was sitting upstairs in my room playing piano to pass the time. School work was minimal since the only reason I attended that school was to keep an eye on illegal behavior. I already said my father’s a total workaholic. He expects me to become an officer in the future and what better way to begin that sort of hard life than by living amongst the people I would arrest someday? I bet he never considered the possibility of me going bad as well.

Normally, I don’t think this much about my father, but recently it feels like he’s becoming more and more obsessed with Kyuhyun and the other troubled kids he keeps an eye on. I sort of wish I knew why it was like that.