You guys have waited two years for the continuation of this story. I am so sorry.

I think there's about three or four chapters left to this story, and maybe in the future I will rewrite it to make it a lot better than the crap that it already is ^^"

Thank you for bearing with me until now.

(IF YOU WANT TO GIVE THIS STORY AN AMBIANCE, PLEASE PLAY "So Goodbye" by Sogyumo Akasia Band WHEN ALEXIS' OLD FLAME APPEARS WITH HIS HEAD HELD DOWN. LINK FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At-XD6-ZCvM )

-LunaTheOracle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say that before you die, you see a white light... Then why am I seeing darkness? I can't move, my body doesn't seem to respond to the signals my brain is sending it. I try opening my eyes, but no luck. The only thing that seems to be working is my hearing, but I hear ever so faintly familiar voices all around me.

"Has she woken up yet?"

"No..." a woman's voice responds.

"Damn it! It's already been 2 days!" another person screams.

"Heechul, be quiet!" a voice hisses.

Eric's voice comes next. "If only I didn't go to the agency to pick up that stupid thing, she would have been okay..."

"You mean this is your fault that she still hasn't woken up?!" Heechul screams at Eric. "And what you're saying is that it's a tragedy that she got in the accident but it's fine that my members got hurt?"

"That's not what I'm saying Hee-"

"You probably don't even care about her safety, just the fact whether or not she'll be able to rack in millions-"

"Stop it!" someone shouts.

I hear the door slam, and then a faint sigh comes from Eric. There is a long pause, and I wonder if my hearing has stopped working as well.

"Nurse, why hasn't she woken up yet?" a soft voice asks. Another long pause. I think to myself that I might be dead, and only my ghost is left behind.

"Sir, I would be lying if I said that she'll wake up soon. You need to be patient. It all depends on her now, whether or not she wants to open her eyes." a female voice replies.

"She won't die... Right?" I hear Eric ask with a shaky voice.

"She is not in a state of coma, sir. She did not get any brain damage from the accident, so it all depends on her now." she repeats. The door opens and closes again.

I feel someone's hand in mine. The feeling is small, but it is definitely Eric's hand.

"Please, please wake up... I might not always show it, but I'm really worried about you. And Heechul is wrong, you're like a second daughter to me. We've been through so much together... I understand if you don't want to see me again, I know I've been a horrible manager to you. I got your contract sold, your apartment was taken away and you have to live with a bunch of guys." he lets out a weak laugh. "You were forced to come back to the music world even though you didn't want to. If it wasn't for me you would be..."I feel something warm drop on my hand, and I hear him whimper. " You would still be here, maybe even smiling. After this, you'll probably look for another manager, and I wouldn't blame you. I just want you to know that you were the best idol I ever got to work with- No, never mind that! You are the greatest friend I ever had, even with our ups and downs. And I am so sorry I wasn't able to protect you. "

Tears roll down my temples as I slowly open my eyes. A light blinds me for a moment, then everything becomes blurry. I slowly turned my head to my left, and Eric comes into focus, he is sitting down on a little stool right next to me, his forehead pressed against my bandaged hand.

"I'm not dead yet." I manage to say with a hoarse voice.

He jerks his head up and looks at me, shocked. He starts to cry even more, getting up and putting his arms around my head.

"I can't... Breathe..." I gasp for air when he lets go of me, and he starts to laugh as his tears fall down to his cheeks.

I lift my head but a shock runs through my entire body and I let out a yelp. I slowly lift my arms up to my eye sight, and they are bandaged from the fingers to the shoulders. My fingers slip to my stomach, another bandage, and then another around my neck. I sigh, and thank God that I am alive.

"She's awake!" I hear someone scream.

Suddenly, a swarm of people come running in. All of them are reporters, cameramen and photographers. A sea of flashes engulfs me and I shut my eyes.

"Alexis! What happened to you?" a reporter asks.

"Look at the camera!" a photographer screams.

"Can't you see that this is a bad time?! " Eric screams. " EVERYONE, OUT!"

He pushes the crowd out of the room with great difficulty, his short and round appearance proving to be futile against the gang of gossip sources. He needs the help of security guards and nurses to manage to get them out of the room, and finally, closes the doors.

"You've been out for 2 days." he finally says. I look up at him with widened eyes. I look at my arms again, flinching at the thought of the accident.

"What... What happened, exactly?" I ask, apprehensive of my question.

"Well..." he looks nervous for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. He sits down on the stool again, his eyes fixated on the floor.

"The driver lost control of the car." Eric starts, "It skidded for 30 meters, then fell over, breaking most of the windows. And-" he stops, clenching his fists.

"What is it Eric?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing.

"Shindong barely got hurt, 3 or 4 scratches in total. Eunhyuk, only got a few bruises and scratches, then..." he pauses and looks up at me. "Then there's you, 46 stitches on one arm, and on the other 76, as well as shards embedded into your stomach with a few stitches on your right side and neck. Then there's..." he stops again. "Alexis, promise me you'll stay calm, alright?" he says with a worried look.

I nod, confused, and he continues. "Leeteuk and Kyuhyun were the most injured. Leeteuk, had shards embedded in his back and over his eyes, requiring a total of 170 stitches-"

My eyes widen in horror. "H-How? He wasn't-" I remember now. The moment the car flipped over, Leeteuk wrapped his arms around me, protecting me. My heart sinks and I try to suppress my tears. "He could've died trying to save me." I scoff weakly. "Where is he now?"

"He didn't wake up yet." Eric says solemnly.

"W-What about Kyuhyun?" I ask, stammering.

"He has a fractured hip, facial scratches and bruises. He is slipping in and out of consciousness." he answers.

"Where, where's Leeteuk now?

Eric points to the bed next to me. It's hidden by a light blue curtain, and my breathing deepens as my lips tremble at the thought.

I suddenly spring off of the bed and fall to the ground, screaming from the pain surging through my entire body. Eric comes running to my side but I evade his reaching hand, stumbling towards the curtain and pulling it open violently. My eyes widen in horror as I see Leeteuk lying on his stomach, with a huge bandage on his back. His head is turned to the opposite side from me, an oxygen mask resting on his face.

My hands quickly make their way over my mouth to prevent a horrifying scream. Tears fall down my cheeks as I whisper, "He had no reason... No reason at all to protect me... IDIOT!" I start to wail and fall to the ground, the pain is unbearable. Eric lifts me back up and makes me sit down on my bed. My eyes don't leave the motionless body of my saviour until the sound of my name breaks through to me.

Donghae, Shindong and Eunhyuk rush towards me, Donghae kneels next to me. Seeing them makes me go into hysterics, and I cry even harder. I manage to say how I am happy that Shindong and Eunhyuk didn't get severely hurt. They sit on the bed, patting me on my back, Eunhyuk handing me tissues. Donghae looks at me, sorry in his eyes. He brushes strands of hair behind my ear, and my cheek with his thumb. My lower lip quivers, and I embrace the touch, closing my eyes and furrowing my eyebrows.

It wasn't long until the nurse chased them away once the visiting hours ended. Watching them leave made me feel empty, it made me want to go after them and go back to the dorm. But I am stuck to this bed,  in the same room as two boys who are fighting for their lives. I get comfortable on my bed, and brace myself for what seems will be a very long night.

***

If it wasn't for the Super Junior members visiting me every day for three days, I probably would have went mad. Leeteuk woke up yesterday, and despite all that has happened, the first thing he did was smile.

The guys were kicked out again after visiting hours finished. I waved back at them with a thankful smile, then turned around to Leeteuk, who's head was facing me. We talked until the strong pain killers took their toll on him and he drifted off to sleep, turning his head the other way. I sigh and lay my head on the pillow, closing my eyes for just a moment. I almost drift off to sleep when suddenly I hear the door open. I don't bother paying attention to it and try to sleep, ,thinking it's a nurse or a doctor. It's when I hear the sound of a chair being gently dragged next to my bed that my eyes open. I think it's Eric, and when I turn my head to the left, I want to shriek.

Hankyung is sitting next to my bed with his head held down, a small bouquet in his hands. Silently, tears fall down my face, and I stretch my arm to try and touch him, but I can't reach. He notices though, and his eyes meet mine, but doesn't reach for me. He can barely pronounce the following words, "H-Hi."

I stare at him with eyes full of resentment, biting my lower lip. I start to shake out of anger and sadness and disbelief, I grip my bed cover so tightly that I manage to pierce holes through it. The longer I stare at him, the more I notice how he's changed since I last saw him. He looks... Better.

 "I heard what happened to you." he finally says, and looks down at his hands. "I was worried so I thought I'd visit you and the guys." I can't bring myself to say anything, and the pain that I feel in my chest keeps growing, spreading. The silence falls between us, and he puts the bouquet on my night table. He says goodbye in a whisper, and prepares to leave.

"What if I didn't make it?" I suddenly ask him. He turns around abruptly, his mouth hanging open but no sounds coming out. "What would you have done if I was gone permanently, left without saying a word like you left me behind?" He clenches his fist and looks away. "Did... Did you know that I fought for you? But then again, I forgot to ask you whether you wanted me to. I actually started to get better, it felt like finally, it was over. It didn't hurt anymore. Finally I could smile again. But it all came back at some point. I remember how I lost the only person I've ever loved, and then I realised, I still do."

"Don't do this to me Alexis. You know I made the right choice and you would be selfish to think otherwise. I'm so much happier back in China. Without S.M. breathing down my neck, without-"

"Without us." I finish his sentence. Han gets closer to my bed, and kneels next to it.

"I know that you were in love with me, but you were so blinded by everything around you that you forgot what matters most. We all did. I needed to move on from this slavery. Even at the cost of leaving everyone else behind, I had to learn to let go and stop caring."

"Don't you dare tell me you don't care anymore!" I scream back. "You didn't fly all the way over here to tell me this. Don't pretend like you're a heartless bastard, Han! You're not like this, you're not the man I fell in love with."

"It was a price I was willing to pay, Syra." I close my eyes at the sound of my old nickname. "Maybe it would be easier for you to accept me leaving if I say that up until your accident I haven't even thought about you once? Or any of the members at that. See? I stopped caring, I stopped caring long ago."

My heart sinks to my stomach at his words. Lies, I think, I don't believe you. I can't bring myself to speak anymore, but just as I bring up the courage to say something, I hear someone else.

"Geng?"

I look at the people behind Hankyung and I bite my lower lip to the point of it bleeding. All of Super Junior is standing behind him, looking at him like beaten dogs.

"How much did you hear of this?" he asks solemnly.

"All of it." Siwon answers, tears falling from his eyes. I can't seem to believe that Han changed to someone like this. No, it's impossible.

He turns back around to me. "I hope you like the flowers, they're your favourite." For a second, it seemed like he had tears in his eyes. He makes his way through the group of his former friends and just stands in the doorway between Heechul and Siwon. He stays silent, as if waiting for something. I glance to the side, noticing that the bouquet of flowers are Wisterias, and there is something in between the branches. I reach over to the table, and I hold my breath from feeling the pain of the stitches in my arm spreading apart. I grab the bouquet and slip my hand into it, taking out a piece of paper. On it, it is written:

I am so sorry that I have to do this, but by leaving you I found what I have lost and what you are still searching for. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, and I think it always will. I hope you find it as well.

I really did love you.

                -Han Geng

"Wh-" I look up from the paper and I see him facing me, crying. He turns back around and disappears.

Slowly, I break down, tears falling from my eyes, my heart shattering into pieces. All the sweet memories play inside my mind. And I stayed like that, watching him walk out of my life.