Memory

*****

'He would never fall for me, and I won't fall for him... These two things will never happened. ' 

'We'll be able to stay just like this.' 

Jaejoong glanced at the clock on the nightstand, the nail showed 10 p.m. He wondered where Changmin had gone; the man had excused himself a while ago after they reached his floor.

After showering, he laid on his bed with mind started flying back to what had happened at the waterpark previously. Indeed, something interesting caught him as he could see how his stoic bodyguard looked panic, for the first time, the man broke from his composure look.

[Flash back]

He just walked out from the corner of water fountain when he saw Yunho was standing a few feet away near the waterpark entrance. The man somehow looked unsettling as he kept glancing over the centre of waterpark.

Jaejoong smiled, knowing the man was looking for him. He decided to wait for a while before come out, intending to make the other pay for abandoned him just now. When Yunho started walking back into the park, he hid near the water fountain. He kept watching the man who used to look taciturn, seemingly started looking panic from the distance. Slowly, he arranged his step towards Yunho before the words that slipped from the man’s lips made him astounded on his spot momentarily.

“Where are you Jaejoongie?” The man muttered worriedly.

The name that had just slipped from Yunho’s lips was not mistakenly his. And the way the man called it sounded so familiar.

That was the name that always appeared in his nightmare; the same name the faceless stranger in his dream always used to call him.

[End of F/B]

Jaejoong kept turning on the bed, could not sleep as his mind still played over the event of this evening. He hoped he could solve the puzzle of the never-ending dreams that he kept having after arrived in this country. He had no idea how it connected together, but he had no doubt that he would find out eventually.

Now, a curiosity of how that name slipped from Jung Yunho’s lips so casually and yet familiarly started surging him. He still couldn’t forget how the man looked so worked up over his missing previously. It left him a strong feeling. And he had to admit, whenever Yunho was around, he felt there seemed to be something was pulling him closer to the man. It was a strange feeling that he had never feel with anyone that ever close to him.

Jaejoong rose from the bed when he heard the doorbell, alarmed it must be Changmin who returned. He rushed to open the door after confirmed it was the person through the CCTV monitor.

“Changmin, I need your help.” He blurted out once the taller man walked inside.

“What is it? You look so eager…” Changmin chuckled, seeing the other suddenly dashed to him, looking so keen.

“Can you do a background check on someone for me?”

“Huh, background check?” Changmin looked at him, baffled for a moment.

“Yes, I want you to check Jung Yunho’s background since you have a lot of acquaintance working in that kind of field. Can you?” His sudden request had enough to make the young doctor astonished.

“W-what did you say?” Changmin couldn’t help, but stuttered.

“I know it sounds weird. But… it’s hard to explain. I just feel something is not right about him. I don’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just…” Jaejoong nibbled on his bottom lip, trying to find a right word to explain as he himself was also confused with the feeling he currently felt toward his bodyguard. None of it made sense to him.

Every time he found the man looked at him, he could sense there was something hidden in those deep-brown eyes of him; something that sought his heart to come closer. And not just today, he believed Yunho had ever called him the same way last time too, as the faceless stranger in his dream. But why the man denied it when he asked? That made him curious.

“Jae, may I ask you why you’re so concern about that Jung Yunho? I can see that you seem treat him differently from all the previous bodyguards that had ever been around you.” Changmin pried further.  

Jaejoong shook his head slightly. “I don’t know…”

He didn’t know why the man always easily occupied his mind, but one thing he sure that Jung Yunho was no ordinary man. He was profoundly grateful to the man for so many reason tough, not only had he protected him, making sure he was always in a safe zone and unharmed, somehow he felt like the man had done more than what his job required to.

He felt there was more of a strong feeling to that. The man had made him feel special and cared for.

“I also don’t understand it myself, Min. But his presence always makes me feel safe.” He added.

Changmin could feel uneasiness nagging at his heart, but to think it was only a week left before Jaejoong finished all of his activities, then he could take the lad away from this country, that dismissed the irksome feeling from his chest – at least.

“Okay, I’ll check his background for you.”

“Really? Thank you!”

Changmin smiled as he could finally see those big-doe like eyes brightened with smile for the day.

***

“Good morning!” Jaejoong greeted and bowed once he entered the conference room. He had a meeting to discuss on the arrangement for his final stage today. He seemed in an elated mood for some reason and it was obvious to everyone, which more than pleased to see the superstar brightened face in the morning.

The meeting went smoothly once he dwelled himself into the discussion, giving his opinion on the music arrangement and stage lighting which got a positive response from the concert organiser.

After almost two hours dragged the discussion, they ultimately reached a decision.

Jaejoong was preparing to leave with eyes looked around to find his usual bodyguard; the same person who had drove him to the meeting venue this morning. His eyes sparkled and a small smile tugged his lips, as if he had some plan in mind; to drag the bodyguard for lunch with him today no matter what. He had aware that he never conveyed his gratitude to the man properly for helping him in a lot of his intolerable circumstances. And to think today he had nothing else to work on after the meeting, he planned to spend some time with the man, seemingly using every string in his bow to get closer to the aloof man and get to know him deep inside.

But when he was walking past the hallway, Jaejoong overheard a few staffs mentioned today’s hot topic from their entertainment news. At first he was just about to ignore it, but at the mentioning of the idol name that he seemed had heard people murmuring yesterday, he slowed down his step.

“Have you heard yet that Minah from Girl’s Day have been caught in public with her boyfriend yesterday?”

“Huh, really??”

“Here got the pictures of her escaped with the man at waterpark yesterday, they even holding hands!” The girl with yellow-blonde hair showed the news from her phone to her friend excitedly.

“Aww… don’t you think it is the same guy from before? There’s also a rumour before that stated she’s actually going out with her personal bodyguard.” Another girl pointed out.

“Yeah, I heard that a damn handsome one too. But never get the clear picture of him so far.”

“But it’s been a while right? I thought the rumor has died down, about her dating the man. But to see them together again, I think it’s probably true that they are currently dating.”

Jaejoong didn’t know why, but he felt suddenly intrigued with the news. Walking up to the waiting area, he settled down on one of the lounge chair before pulling out his phone. He started searching for the news.

‘Girl’s group Minah has been spotted going on date at waterpark.’

The title popped out in top google search once he entered the online entertainment news portal. Jaejoong didn’t need to read further as his eyes just focused on the few photos posted by netizens.  Even those photos were blurred, but he could still make out who was the man in those photos just by the shirt he wore – the same shirt that he bought for Yunho yesterday.

“What… is this the reason why he left me so suddenly yesterday? He’d bumped into his girlfriend…”

Jaejoong muttered with eyes glued on his phone, reading the news thoroughly. He found the bold statement where the girl had ever revealed about her idol type would be like her own bodyguard, who she had admired quite long.

Jaejoong huffed and sprang up from his seat, suddenly felt uneasiness arise inside him. He walked with mind still pondering over the news before his step was stopped by a palm of someone placed over his forehead.

Looking up, his eyes met Yunho’s. He looked upward at the man’s hand that palming his forehead.

“What are you doing?” He asked frowningly.

Yunho removed his hand and pointing to the glass wall that was just an inch from Jaejoong’s face. “You’re almost bumping your head on the glass. The door out is that way.” He said and pointed to the other direction on Jaejoong’s left side.

Jaejoong could feel a hot flush creeping over his cheeks from embarrassment, once he realized he was walking with his mind elsewhere. “I know, I just wanted to take a peek outside.” He refuted pathetically, in an attempt to salvage a small part of his ego.

Yunho eyed the idol sceptically before spoke again, “Then, can we go now Jaejoong-ssi?”

Jaejoong nodded without looking at the other, feeling embarrassed. Once both get into the car, he started fidgeting in his seat as his mind trying to compose some words to ask the man to have lunch with him.

“Do you have anywhere else to go after this?” He started, even he knew the man got nothing else to do since his duty was accompanied him whenever he went.

Yunho remained silent for a moment before answered shortly, “No.”

“Then, let’s go have lunch together.” He braced himself and blurted out directly. Jaejoong looked at the latter on driver seat in anticipation.

“I can’t.” Yunho replied curtly, looking indifferent.

“Huh, why? It’s not like you have another work waiting for you after this.”

“Yes, but I can’t accompany you for lunch.”

“Is it because of the work protocol?”

Yunho glanced over at the idol while driving. He could see that his answer hadn't satisfied the smaller man as Jaejoong’s face still creased with some thought.

“No, it’s just… for today.” There was a pause, as he phrased his words carefully with eyes focused back on the road. He could feel Jaejoong’s eyes still examining him.

The superstar wanted to say more, he had a lot of curiosity which had been building up inside him for a while. That was why he planned to have some time with Yunho, where he can sit with the man and asked him a lot of questions that tingled within him like an internal itch. But now, he only got the man’s cold refusal.

“I’ll drop you off here now. So you can go and have your lunch.” Yunho informed suddenly, breaking Jaejoong from his silent thought.

Jaejoong frowned and looked at the exclusive Korean restaurant at the side of road. “What, are you letting me to go alone?”

“No, there is someone waiting for you inside. I was asked to drop you here.”

Now, he looked at Yunho confusedly before his phone rang, interrupting him from asking more.

“Hey, are you not coming in?” The person on the phone spoke once he picked the call.

“Changmin? You are the one who asked him to drop me here?” Jaejoong asked with eyes on Yunho. But the man just had a stoic look while looking outside the road, didn’t meet his stare.

“I’m so hungry, come quickly. I’m waiting here…” The other on the line didn’t reply him and with that, he ended the call.

Jaejoong’s eyes still on Yunho as he watched the man turned off the engine and get out of the car.

“Here, take the key. I’m off from my duty now.” Yunho handed the car’s key to Jaejoong as he opened the door for the idol. He just wanted the guy to get inside quickly, realizing the sky above them clouded over suddenly.

Looking at his bodyguard confusedly, “Are you going to leave me?” He stared at him unblinkingly.

Yunho didn’t know why, but the words tugged at his heart like a poisoned arrow. It was the word that always slipped from his little Jaejoongie’s mouth, whenever the kid caught him was about to leave; as if he was afraid the eldest would be gone, leaving him behind.

Taking Jaejoong’s hand that still remained on his side, Yunho put the key in his hand. “I’m taking off early today. So, you can go back with him after having your lunch.”

“How about you? You also still haven’t had yours, since you were with me from this morning. So let’s go together. It’s not we’re heading back to a different place after this.” Jaejoong didn’t understand why he felt the need to prolong every moment he could with this person. As usual, he would start to act stubborn when the other was playing hard with him.

“I’m not that hungry and I’ve an appointment with someone. So I’ve to go now.” Yunho said before he turned and walked away without waiting for the other response.

Jaejoong stood still with hands gripped on the car key. He didn’t know why, but he hated the sight of the man’s retreating back, and the cold shoulders he was given. It somehow impaled some pain to his heart.

Reluctantly, he walked into the restaurant where Changmin had been waiting for him.

*

It began to rain heavily just as he got to the corner of opposite road. Yunho slowed down his pace, unmindful of the thickly rain wetting him down. His mind was muddled since last night, after learn what exactly Jaejoong had gone through during those long-years of their separation. It was something unimaginable, something he feared the most and he couldn’t believe what he had heard from the man named Changmin, who claimed himself as Jaejoong’s personal psychotherapist.

Yunho entered a nearby small café that came to his sight as he broke from his pondering state. Ignoring the eyes that thrown him a curious look as he walked inside with drenched cloth. He settled down on one table near the glass wall, facing the exclusive restaurant where he had dropped Jaejoong off before. He expanded his vision, looking outside. The building where Jaejoong was having his lunch was reasonably close. No matter what, he felt the need to keep his eyes on the person. It was not because of his duty, but the feeling of a responsibility as someone that he supposedly protected, cared and loved from the start… as a brother.

A waiter came to him to take his order as he had been sitting there without ordering something. Feeling that he had to at least fill up his stomach, he ordered a simple set of lunch. It was all lie about he had an appointment, he knew how persistent and stubborn the superstar would be if he kept giving a loose reason. That was a new and different side of Kim Jaejoong. It amused him to think of Jaejoong now.

Before he met the guy in the present, he had conjured up the image of a small little kid, which always whining and tailing him around. Nonetheless, a bright smile would constantly visible on his cute, rounded face - despite received a scolding from him.  But, Kim Jaejoong was different now and as he predicted, something did happened to the latter after he handed him to his real father. The thought made him felt even worse and bad.

‘Maybe… I shouldn’t let you go.’ Yunho mumbled to himself.

*

“What’s wrong with you suddenly ordered my bodyguard to drop me off here?” Jaejoong asked the man in front of him.

Changmin stopped from cutting his beef steak and looked up at the idol which seemed sulking over something. That got his attention.

“What… I can’t even ask you out for lunch now? It’s not like I could do this every day.” Changmin said matter-of-factly.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s unusual of you to intrude on my time like this.”

Changmin smiled. “Actually I’ve something to give you. Here…” He pulled out and put a big envelope toward Jaejoong, intentionally changed the subject. “I’ve already got you every details of that Jung Yunho’s background.”

Jaejoong’s eyes lit up. “Really, that’s so fast!” He exclaimed and took the envelope.

“You’re the one who said I’ve a lot of connection to do so.” Changmin eyed Jaejoong’s expression as the guy’s eyes started scanning through the contents of confidential documents. Somehow, he felt curious how Jaejoong could care about the stranger, even though he knew nothing about his past. How could the lad sense that? Was there a really strong faith between the two?

Changmin hated the thought and decided not to believe that. People can change the fate if they have a will to. So, that was what he’ll do.

Jaejoong fell into silence after finished reading the documents. The detail provided about Jung Yunho’s life wasn’t sufficed to answer his curiosity. It just stated the man was from a normal family, the father worked as a construction worker while the mother died when he was fifteen due to a chronic cancer. It seemed the man went through tough times as h