Curiosity

***

'His innocent, honest words at those times were like a cure to me during those hardest days. But now, why it was like a knife shredding my heart?'

It almost late at night. A little boy still walking at the park while his hand was in a hold of someone who he believe and trust all his life - someone that will never leave him. 

The only person he relied on since there was no one else left in his life - someone that will never abandoned him. 

He had already feel comfortable and safe living together with the other's. 

But, the night which supposed to be the happiest and memorable night for him in a very young age, had turned to be the night where left him in a state of only deeply sorrow and painful memories.

Memories that he refused to acknowledge afterward. 

Memories that pained him the most; that even drove him to be someone new. Someone that he never imagined to be.

The hand that was holding his while he was walking through the dark, suddenly, letting him go. He was handed away to strangers, making him trembled in fear upon see those unknown face.

"Yunnie! Yunnie! Please, don't leave me."

"Joongie promise to be a good boy! Joongie promise to not whine anymore! 

"So, please... take me back with you." 

Before his short legs could make a dash towards the elder who had already turned and walked away from him, his small limb was caught by the stranger. The terror strike him as he panicked. He struggled to escape when he was being dragged into the car. 

Hopelessly, he cried and cried... hoping the person he trust the most would turn and take him back. But, even at the very last minute, the other didn't look back at him. Even the car was pulled and drove away, the little boy was still hoping... 

Even for a last glance from his brother.

'Yunnie...'

Jaejoong's eyes snapped open and he sat up on the bed while breathing heavily. His heart was racing abnormally fast.

The old nightmare that had been disappeared for over the years had returned. This time it seemed surreal than before. Even though he couldn't figure out who was the other person in his dream, but the emotion of despair, hopeless, fear and sad he felt at the time just felt so real. It even woke him up with a deep feeling of melancholy and yearning for something unknown, or rather someone.

 Jaejoong brought his hand up to his chest, trying to sooth his pounding heart. He didn't understand at all. The dream seemed trying to reveal something untold to him. 

"Yunnie..." 

He mumbled the name that had been in his nightmare repeatedly. He couldn't even made out who was the faceless person in his dream.

The more he racked his brain to dig up the meaning of the return nightmare, the more painful throbbing his head like there was a nail jammed through the back of his skull.

Jaejoong began scrutinized his surrounding, but only to frown in confusion upon realizing where he actually was. He hated hospital for some reason. It was probably because he used to be hospitalized a lot since he was a kid due to a traumatic accident that even caused the lost of his mother - he thought. That was what his father told him when he woke up on the hospital bed one morning and... he remembered nothing.

Jaejoong was still pondering when his head jerked at the faint voice of few people behind his closed room door.  They were seemingly in a heated conversation.

"Sorry, I can't allow that." He heard the distant, cold voice of someone spoke.

"Oh, really? Who are you then?" The second voice made his heart jumped slightly in recognizable. He knew that voice, so well.

"I'm Kim Jaejoong's personal bodyguard." The  other respond in the same flat, strict tone.

"Then, considering yourself is fired now."

Jaejoong sat up from the bed immediately, as he could assume what was going on outside. Gathering all his energy to balance himself after hours had been laying unconsciously, he stood up from the bed.  He was about to walk to the door when he heard a hasty footsteps approaching the corridor outside of the room. He stopped in his way.

"Changmin-ah! Finally, you come." Junsu's voice was heard clearly outside the corridor.

There was a momentary silence before that recognizable voice spoke again.

"Junsu, I need to talk with you. But first thing, I need to see Jaejoong." With that said, the door was opened and Jaejoong stood at the center of the room, eyes widened as he looked at the person who stood on the door, staring back at him. The man was much taller and had a very good looking that can pass as a top model or superstar if he didn't choose this current job he held - a psychologist. One would not think such a handsome young man as him had a doctorate degree in psychology. No one knows the reason that led him to choose that career path, but himself.

For a split second, he seemed a bit startled to find the patient in the room woke up before his face curved a spontaneous smile. He opened his arms wide, knowing well what was the other next move.

"Hey, I'm here."

Jaejoong didn't wait any seconds as he flew into the man's arms, hugging him like he was the source of his calm.

"Changmin..."

The young doctor chuckled lightly, one hand on Jaejoong's back while the other carresed the raven hairs of the shorter one lovingly as the latter buried his face against his shoulder.

"What happen? We were just being apart for few days and you've already look this miserable? It's hard for me to disappear for months if you are acting like this." Changmin chuckled as his comment earned him to receive a light smack on his right shoulder from Jaejoong.

"Stupid jerk, meanie!" Jaejoong glowered, but he didn't backed away from the other's embrace. He felt a bit calm even his mind still wondered about the return nightmare and a sudden strong forlorn feeling that suddenly creeping inside of him. 

Probably, the one he was missing actually... this man? He admitted that he felt kind of lonely these days.

'Yes, that must be the cause of this feeling.' Jaejoong thought silently as he buried his face further into the junction of the other's neck and shoulder, trying to dismiss the sudden sadness that jabbed his heart.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Changmin asked when he caught Jaejoong still looked restless. He peered down at the shorter guy's face.

"It's coming back..." Jaejoong muttered with eyes looked down.

"What's coming back?" Changmin asked confused.

"T-that... dream. The dream where I was left alone in the dark and being abandoned... Even I cried so much at the time, that person who was leaving me didn't even turning back. This time the painful feeling is stronger than before. I.. I don't know why." Jaejoong looked up at Changmin, his eyes swirling with tears as he could felt his heart still clenching in hurt, like the event was real. His head started throbbing again.

The taller man stared at him without a word, as if letting Jaejoong's words sink in for a moment before he pulled Jaejoong into a warm hug. "Hey, didn't I've tell you this. It's just a dream, Jae."

Changmin gapping himself a bit to look at Jaejoong's face again. His thumb was quick to wipe off a single tear that had already trailing down Jaejoong's cheek. 

"As long as I'm by your side nothing can hurt you. I'm not going to leave you, nor  abandon you. So, rest assure. Probably, you'll be the one shoving me away one day." Changmin joked and chuckled as Jaejoong smacked his chest lightly.

"Well, I need to go now to settle something with Junsu. I will come back quick. I've talked with the doctor in charge that you are allowed to discharge once you wake up. Nothing serious, just a minor trauma and panic attack." 

"Hmm... the good of being a doctor yourself so you can easily deal with other doctors to release me so soon, uh." Jaejoong made a face.

"Well, I'm just your personal doctor and always at your service, Kim Jaejoong-ssi." Changmin said in a teasing tone and winked. He was about to walk away when Jaejoong's suddenly pulled him back by hand.

"What is it, now?" He arched his eyebrow curiously, sensing there was something more that bothered Jaejoong.

"Changmin-ah, Erm... can you say 'Jaejoongie' for once."

"Huh? What's with this sudden request?" Changmin smirked as he fully turned to face the smaller man back, looking amused. "Do you wanted me to change the way I call you now?"

"N-no! It's not like that. I... I just..."

"Okay, Jaejoongie... Happy?" Changmin said eventually and pulled Jaejoong closer as he kissed the latter on his forehead.

Jaejoong just remained silent. His head rested on Changmin's shoulder as his mind started remember back to the incident that happened before he collapsed on the street this evening. He sure he heard someone called him.

'Jaejoongie...'

The name sounded new to him and yet familiar, like he was used to it and that voice...

'It's different...' Jaejoong muttered silently as the way Changmin said was different from the one he heard. Who was it? The one that had called him before he fainted?

Jaejoong's eyes flicked up from Changmin's shoulder to the door. And there, he caught the man that was still in his working suit, standing near the door in his stoic posture. The man had his back facing him, still guarding his room.

Jaejoong keep his eyes staring at the man's back. And there, again, a quick-shot of pain throbbing his heart.

'Why do I feel like this?' He wondered silently.

***

"Jaejoong, are you ready?" Junsu peeked his head in, looking at the idol who was still seating leisurely on the couch in the living room. The guy was eating watermelon while watching Spongebob on his huge HD tv.

"Yah, Kim Jaejoong! Why are you still in your pajamas?! You have a press conference to attend in 30 minutes and an interview for Mnet after that!" Junsu fumed before he rushed to turn off the tv and facing the top star with an angry look.

"So, we're going to the press conference and then continue with what? I don't recall you've ever tell me about the interview, Kim Junsu?" Jaejoong returned his manager's unpleasant look.

"What... don't tell me you didn't check the schedule that I've passed to you before you flying here." Junsu said in disbelief, eyes widened.

"Oh, you did? Let me check it." Jaejoong took his iPad that laid on the couch near him and before he could look at it, Junsu grabbed it from his hand.

"Stop acting like you've forgotten it. I know you are intentionally forget it, so I can cancel the schedule when we can't make it on time. It's not going to work that way again, Jaejoong-ssi. So, you better go get ready, the car and your personal bodyguard are already waiting for you down there!" 

"Oh, you caught me." Jaejoong grinned sheepishly this time. "That's no fun. You're not slow as you used to be again, how come..." 

"How long do you think I've been your manager, uh?" Junsu pulled the other up and forcing him to move quickly, pushing the guy on the back to get into his room to get change. "I will give you ten minutes!" He shouted after closed the door from outside.

"What a headache... How could I still cope with being his manager?" Junsu heaved a sigh and slumped down on to the couch tiredly.

***

"Who are you?" 

Dropping his dark shades onto the lower bridge of his nose, Jaejoong peering over at the new face in front of him.

The young man in suit bowed slightly at him before straightened up himself back, looking nervous as he greeted the top star.

"H-hello, I'm at your service. Kim Sungyu, your personal bodyguard from now on."

The absolute confusion written over Jaejoong's face. "What happen to the previous one?"

"Well, Changmin asked me to dismiss the man and replace him with another protection officer. But he's still from the same agency, that man's junior." Junsu came behind Jaejoong, answered.

"What?" Jaejoong looked stunned and his reaction didn't go unnoticed by his supposed to be slow manager. 

"What? I thought you despise him guarding you with his over strict and taciturn attitude." Junsu commented as he walking passed his artist to the car that awaiting them. Jaejoong retreated his look, didn't expect the quick surprised respond he had just let out. He followed Junsu to get into the car while the new guard walked over and settled beside the same driver as before, Seulong.

"Yes, I do. No... I meant, I never say I hate him or something. I just..."

"You're just what, Jaejoong?" Junsu cut off the top star. "Aren't you purposely created a problem just to have him being dismissed from the job of guarding you?"

"W-what? No, I... simply said, I hate to have a bodyguard around me, not like I hate him specifically." Jaejoong reasoned. Deep inside, he felt guilty as what Junsu had just said was partially true. But there was no way he would admit it.

It had been two days since the case of him escaped and caused a trouble in the first day he arrived in his mother country.  And he didn't expect Changmin would go to such lengths to replace a new bodyguard for him after the incident few days ago. He thought everything would be as he planned, but instead it turned out to be the other way around. Also, Changmin didn't even mention anything regarding the new bodyguard yesterday before the man go back to Japan for his psychologist seminar.

"He's not being fired from his job right?"

Junsu turned at Jaejoong, looking amused by the sudden question. "What's wrong with you? Don't tell me you've just feel worry about the man now after he has saved you from the incident the other day?"

"He did what?" Jaejoong looked at Junsu in surprised, not bothered to hide it this time.

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't know?  That Jung Yunho was really fast to get you last time before you collapse. It's good he was around when you fainted in such a public place. If not, I can't imagined what happened. Probably you would be trampled by a crowd and gotten your face printed on the front page of national newspaper last day if he didn't get to you in time."

Jaejoong freeze on his seat as Junsu's words downed on him. A feeling of guilt came on him now.

Suddenly, something triggered his mind. 

'Then... was it him? The one that call me? It can't be...'

***

Yunho brought his hand rubbing his face, eyes felt tired after scanning the new contract that Yoochun had emailed him to review. His workload was double than before, despite he was withdrawn as a protection officer's for the Asian's top star.

Yunho walked out from his workroom to the kitchen. Filling a glass of water, he gulped down the whole content in one go, let it soothing his throat but not his messy mind and troubled heart. Actually, he couldn't sleep and felt unsettled since the day of Kim Jaejoong returned. He would find his mind wandering to think of the younger one. Despite the calm and composed look he showed, the sudden appearance of the other actually had him in a twisted stupor. He also unable to focus on what he was doing for the past days and think about anything else, but the grown up Kim Jaejoong from the one he had used to know. He could see and feel the other had undergone tremendous changes after all these years. 

'Really, what actually happened to him?' Yunho's mind wandered further than he wanted again. 

The incident that had happened two days ago also had him dropped off from being the top star's personal bodyguard. When that happened, Yoochun was the one showing a strong discontentment over the issue. As always, Yunho just stayed composed when Junsu explained about the request made personally by Jaejoong's phycologist. 

Yunho found he was somewhat uneasy with the man's presence, which was for him the man didn't held any right to intrude in the superstar's other matter beside being his phycologist. He had witnessed how the man casually hugged and comforted Jaejoong the other day. Strangely, he felt something in his chest twisted as if he still held parental authority over the  younger one. But he didn't do anything, when a sad realization downed him, preventing him from doing more than just stand still and waiting near the door. Who was he again to meddle in the younger one's business? 

Kim Jaejoong was no longer the little boy that he used to take care of. Not the kid that loved to be clingy on him, always whining and demanding his full attention at the point it always annoyed him in return.  And their last m