Falling

Indisputable Love
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Falling

*****

‘I’ve made myself clear that I can’t fall for him… but it is not something I can stop myself from.'

Yunho rested his back against the door once he slammed it closed. He pinched his head, feeling dizzy with what had just happened; to receive such unexpected confession. He never thought that Kim Jaejoong would be so bold about confessing his feelings.

He did aware how the young man appeared to be so very fond of him. But, to what extend he didn’t sure until he received a shock yesterday; the lad had kissed him when he was just fell asleep. He might be in drowsiness after taking the medicine, but he was not easy to sink into oblivion and unable to differentiate between the dream and reality. His thought sprouted with a sudden painful certainty when the idol kissed him. He couldn’t comprehend a thing or describe what he felt at the moment, but one thing for sure, the feeling the younger kept for him was something more than what he had thought. Somehow, his heart clenched with painful feeling.

And today, to see the younger man comeback again to see him was not something surprising.

“Are you okay?”

Yunho broke from his reverie, realizing there was another visitor in his house. He looked up and saw Minah was looking at him inquisitively.

“I’m sorry, but can you leave for now?” Yunho voiced out after a moment fell into his thought.

“What? But I’ve just arrived. We’ve to discuss about the-”

“About the rumour that we are currently dating?” Yunho cut off her short. “Do you think I don’t know that you are the one who lit up the rumour? I’ve had enough of this. I’m being silent doesn’t mean I’m not capable to do something about it. Stop messing up my life again and again.” Yunho spoke, his tone firm this time. He knew how the girl had always set him into a trap, inadvertently to get him involved with her scandal.

Shock settled over Minah, didn’t expect the man who always looked calm would looking pissed at the moment. “But… you know I... I’ve loved you for so long.” She muttered downheartedly.

“Love?” Yunho sighed. The faint headache he felt since yesterday was coming back now. It seemed today was the day to receive such a sudden confession.

“Please, leave.” He muttered firmly, unwilling to say more.

“But it’s raining heavily now. At least, let me stay until the rain start to slow down.” She reasoned.

Yunho snapped at the mentioned of the heavy rain. Jaejoong!

He opened the door, hoping the lad was still standing under a shelter. But Jaejoong was nowhere in his sight anymore. He didn’t see any car waiting for the idol just now, and he believe that Jaejoong hadn’t been guarded again.

“…” Yunho muttered under his breath. How couldn’t he be aware of it? As a jolt of adrenaline rushed through him, he didn’t think twice as he rushed to his room to grab his car key and raincoat.

“What’s wrong? Are you going somewhere?” Minah asked curiously, upon seen the man broke from his stoic look, that hardly happened.

“Sorry, I really need to go now. I’ll call someone to pick you up now. Please leave once the driver comes.” With that said, Yunho rushed and got into his car before speed dialled Yoochun’s number.

*

The rain had started to slow down to a trickle. Jaejoong coughed multiple times, his eyes stinging after let out a despairing cry. He didn’t know how long he had been running. He started to slow his pace and barely dragging his feet to keep walking until he stumbled upon a small motel amongst the row of old buildings in the town. He decided to get a room to have some rest, calming himself down from everything that had just been revealed to him. He needed to be alone for now.

After successfully checked in, Jaejoong made his way and collapsed against the door once he got inside the room. Bringing his knees in close to his chest, he buried his head between his knees and instantly, another flood of tears rundown his cheeks. It seemed he couldn’t stop crying today; letting out all the despair that had contained inside him after he regained some part of his past. The past that once he shared with someone he’d always longing for his presence.

Unfortunately, in all the memories that came racing back into his mind about the man, there weren't many good ones. All were the ones that inflicted and leaving him in pain.

Jaejoong closed his eyes, wanted to black out all the painful memories that jabbing his heart relentlessly.

[Flashback]

“What do you mean that the drug he took will give him a side-effect?”

“Mr. Kim, I cannot say it will happen for sure. But the possibility for your son to have the side-effect from taking this medication for his psychiatric disorders is high.” The doctor said, facing the big tycoon who looked miserable at the moment. Kim Seung Woo was one of the Japan-born Korean, who had successfully created his own empire, a powerful man due to his wealth and influence in the mixed-development business in Asia. It had been almost a year since he brought back the child that he never knew his existence before. During those times, never once he heard the boy calling him father.

 “Physical change in the brain that happened when he undergone the surgery a year ago might be varies. But the effect of several different and high doses drugs he has been given to cease his anxiety and depression problem could possibly led him to have a vague or lost memory.” The doctor added.

Kim Seung Woo remained silent as if he was in a deep thinking, trying to grasp what the doctor had explained. After a moment of silence, he spoke again with a determination in his tone. “Then, just keep with the treatment. That would be the best for my son, to not remember anything from the past.”

Unbeknownst to him, the mentioned little boy was standing near the opened door of his working room, unintentionally listening to their conversation.

Slowly, the seven-year-old Kim Jaejoong released the doorknob and turned around, before running back to his bedroom and locking himself.

Ever since he was taken away from the place he called ‘home’, never he spoke a word and only gave off the impression of a walking doll. He grew to be timid with the unfamiliar people around him. He never made contact with anyone, even the maids in the house trying to cheer him up, they will have ended up with a sigh after got no response from him. He also had a difficulty to sleep and would wake up in the middle of the night, and started crying, calling out the name of the only person that he longing for his presence to give him that comforting, warm hug again.

“Joongie has promised to not forget Yunnie…” He mumbled with quivering lips and tearful eyes. He walked to the big bookshelf at the corner of his spacious bedroom, reaching out for a book where he can jotting down everything that he felt important to remember, before his memory waned away.

Since the day he informed about his hapless condition, the little Kim Jaejoong started writing of what he wanted to tell his brother if he ever met the young man again. He knew he couldn’t escape from this foreboding future that would be present.

Thus, every day he would scribble the memories of the time that was almost too distant to remember and full with his ‘Yunnie’. Soon after, he grew to be more aloof than he had, the precious diary was the only thing he treasured and where he kept the things that meant the most to him.

‘Joongie promises to not forget Yunnie.’ That was the last word he wrote at every pages.

 

Jaejoong’s eyes snapped opened. He gasped, realizing he had fallen asleep in such uncomfortable position. He didn’t know how long he had been in the room as there was already dark outside. It seemed he had returned to those old days where he had lived in desolation.

Now, he remembered… the diary was the only thing he could find the remaining puzzles of his past.

Jaejoong pulled out his cell phone from his jean pocket and lit up the screen to see it was eight o’clock in the evening. There was twenty miscalls from his manager and also nine from the person who had just broke his heart.

His eyes welled up with tears again upon seen the name. ‘Jung Yunho’

Wiping away the tears, he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. It was better to freshen himself up before leaving. He looked at his reflection on the mirror; a red-swollen nose and bloodshot eyes. He looked stricken and devastated at the moment. He had received a double blow in one day. First, the rejection after he gathered all his courage to confess, and now, what had just revealed made him trembled in anguish.

Jaejoong splashed his face with cold water several times, but no amount of rinsing will soothe the stinging pain he suffered at the moment. He needed to pull himself together. He couldn’t be that weak anymore. It seemed his life was harsher than he could remember now. After finish washing up, he called Junsu at the thought the guy must be freaking out to his whereabouts.

“Yah, Kim Jaejoong! God, where have you been the whole day? I was so worry since you didn’t answer the call. If Yunho didn’t call me and asked me your whereabouts, I wouldn’t know that you went to Gwangju. And he has been looking for you the whole day. I almost make a police report if you didn’t reply me in 24 hour or calling your father.” As expected, the guy had bombarded him with his nag.

“Junsu-yah…” Jaejoong called weakly, his voice raspy from the crying previously.

“Jae, what’s wrong?” Junsu’s asked in a worrying tone.

“I…I’m so tired… Can you come and pick me up?”

Junsu was taken aback by the other pleading tone, just responded without asking further. “Okay, I will call Yunho to-”

“Junsu…” Jaejoong cut off before his manager could complete the word.

“Huh?”

“I don’t want anyone else to come here, but you.”

Junsu remained silent for a moment before he answered shortly. “Okay, I understand.” He knew there must be something happened to the idol. It had been so long since he last heard that kind of tone from Jaejoong. The other sounded so weak and seemingly… hopeless.

*

Yunho was on his way back to Seoul when his cell phone interrupted his concentration. Upon seen the name that beeped on the screen, he pressed the green button, making it loudspeaker.

“Hello.” His heart thumped slightly, waiting for the response on the other line.

“Yunho, I found him.” Junsu informed. “And I’m on the way to pick him up. So don’t worry.”

Yunho felt the disquieting feeling he had the whole day seemed leave promptly after heard the news. “Where has he gone?” He asked, feeling the need to know.

 “He is still in Gwangju, staying at this one small motel. I don’t know what happened. I will tell you if there is anything.” Junsu informed.

“Alright, thank you. And I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“Nah, it’s understandable since you’re not in a good condition and you are not on duty. It’s not something we could blame on.” Junsu reasoned, as he could sense the other’s regret tone.

*

Junsu turned to look at the latter bedside him, who had been silence since he got into the car. Both of them had settled at the back seat, and once the driver started take off on the road, Jaejoong had his eyes closed, facing the other side of window. Junsu couldn’t tell if the other was sleeping or avoiding from speaking to him. He was a bit taken aback just now to see the other in such a crushed state, only had a broken look in his eyes. But Junsu couldn’t find a word and right time to ask, as Jaejoong seemed giving an aura of to be leave alone in silence. And Junsu knew well it was not wise to force the lad to speak something that he wouldn’t want to or bother to tell anyone.

“Junsu…”

“Huh?” Junsu snapped from his train of thought, looking at Jaejoong who still had his eyes closed.

“I have given some thought about the next offer you mentioned last time.”

Junsu shifted in his seat, feeling disquieting as the topic was suddenly being brought up at the moment.

“Oh, it’s okay… you don’t have to give me your answer now.”

“No, I’ve made my decision.” He opened his eyes this time, but only looking outside the car window, watching the shady trees along the familiar street. Now, the scene really felt familiar to him.

“I want to fly back once this tour ended.” He could feel his heart aching. The feeling stored deep within his memory kept surfacing again and again. The new love was mixed with his distress and agony from the past.

***

“Is everything okay?” Junsu asked once Jaejoong stepped down from the stage after finished his rehearsal for the day. He noticed the idol had such a distant look since these couple of days, less talking and prefer to be alone. Junsu was still unable to dig the reason for Jaejoong’s sudden strange behaviour. It seemed the idol kept avoiding from talking about what had happened to him that night.

“It’s well-arranged. Only need a little adjustment for the sound system.” Jaejoong informed as he removed his earpiece and handed it to Junsu’s outstretched hand.

“That’s good to hear only a minor thing left. Then, can we go for dinner now?” He asked, hoping the other would agree to have an outi

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anapearl78 #1
Chapter 27: I truly love the story. Great job authornim
NinePlusOne #2
Chapter 27: Congrats on finishing this dear YJ fic from the old days! I love a happy ending!❤️
Missanion
#3
Chapter 21: 😭😭😭 why did he leave Yunho like that? How could he desappear like that knowing Yunho could die? He got shot on the head! I can underestand that he was afraid and was feeling guity, but it wasn't right to leave the other in that condition 😢. It was unexpected.
Gladly, Yunho still was firm in his conviction to be with Jae and to fight for him. It is still so endearing how after all those years, the oonly one who can coax Jae into doing something and make him obeys is him .
Missanion
#4
Chapter 20: No Yunhie 😭😭! How did he come there? ? What did he do to make it?? Where is the stalker? ? Why was this so dramatic? Can't they have 5 minutes of happyness and peace? ?
Missanion
#5
Chapter 19: That song! I felt so sad for both of them. They love each other so much. Jae is giving his all to keep Yunho from distancing himself again and for him to spit out the truth. He wants explanations, but, what he wants more is him.He has been longing for his love.
Missanion
#6
Chapter 18: Despite how hurtfull Yunho's words were and how cold he is towards him, he is still Jaejoong's safe place. With all what happened, I didn't expect Jae to say those wards again. Now he clearly stated what he feels for Yunho.
Missanion
#7
Chapter 17: Why did he reject Jae like that? There was no need to be that rude and mean, absolutely not. He could rejected him in other ways, Jae wasn't expecting for an answer, he wasn't even expecting himself to confessed his feelings either but, things happened.
Jae was so worried for him and he was just so coldhearted about it all.
The last part broke my heart.
Missanion
#8
Chapter 16: Ahh those pictures! Jaejoong is so handsome!
I like that Jae didn't let Changmin take rights he doesn't have. Changmin can't fire or hire anyone, the only with the power to do that is Jaejoong or Junsu because he is his manager but still, Junsu has to ask Jae about what he wants.
Missanion
#9
Chapter 15: Owww Jae is such a jealous person, I would say even possessive. He is getting jealous about people he doesn't even know, is he sees Yunho with someone else or just hear he is on the phone with someone he gets grumpy, jealous and curious haha.
"Never once in his life he had someone who would do that to him "...oh baby, if only you could remember you will know there was someone who took such a care of you.
"The voice of the man who had the power to make his heart always swirled with myriad feelings..." just how much cute is that? ? Jae is so into Yunho that it worries me.
The last part was unexpected, really. With this I think he will start questioning himself a lot more about Yunho, the way he makes him feel, the sensations, everything.
Missanion
#10
Chapter 14: Changmin is despicable.
I think Jae is falling in love with Yunho. That is going to be hard when he remembers everything again and because Yunho doesn't see him in tha way,yet 😏.