Attachment

*****

‘I should embrace you back then and never once give in. So that I won’t have this feeling of regret.’

Yunho walked closer to the quivering boy that was crouched down on the floor. He didn’t know what to say, he was still in utterly shocked about all the things that had just happened in a blink of eye. The reality that he had to accept was hard to swallow at the moment.

“Umma… Joongie…c-cold…”

The trembling, weak voice of the little boy sent a flood of painful right through Yunho’s heart. Yunho bent down until he was at the same level as the boy. His hands were still stiff at his sides, feeling reluctant to hold the boy even the kid whimpered. He was not the type that used to show a warm side of him.

Since his mother passed away, he never drops a single tear as his mother had asked him to promise not to cry when the times come for someone he dearly loved need to leave. The last words his mother said, ‘I may leave this world, but just remember, I will remain alive in your heart’ did worked to make him felt like there was no need to cry over the losing, it’s not like the person will return even if he cries out until no more tears could be squeezed out from his soul.

“C-cold…Joongie cold…” The little boy whimpered again, demanding for his mother’s warm arms to embrace him like usual when he was in cold or scare.

Hesitantly, Yunho lifted the little boy off the floor, carrying him back to bed.

“You shouldn’t be sitting here if you cold.” Jaejoong pushed Yunho away as he tried to get down on the floor back.

Yunho frowned at the boy’s strange action.

“U-umma…Joongie want Umma…” Jaejoong started crying loudly while called out for his mother, thought his mother would come to get him if he was cold.

The doctor came into the room as alerted about the situation. Jaejoong kept kicking to get down from the bed, trying to run out of the room to search for his mother. Seeing the little boy was hysterically crying and no one could get near him, the doctor left with no choice as he pulled out a syringe to give the boy a sleeping drug. It didn't take long before Jaejoong’s cries ceased after being injected; he started to calm down and soon plummeted into drowsiness.

Yunho was still freezing in dumbfounded on the side of bed. His heart was still in pain and weighed with grief.

“It’s common for this happening to someone who just got into a terrible accident. He is still in trauma.” The doctor said as he caught the look on Yunho’s face.

“But Yunho ssi, you need to endure this thing with more patience. In your case, it is different because the shock from the accident is hard to wear off for the kid at his age. It must greatly traumatize him.” The doctor gestured to the sleeping Jaejoong on the bed, and he gave a pat of encouragement on Yunho’s shoulder.

“You must be a strong brother, so that you can be a backbone for your little brother in facing all this predicaments.”

*****

Time slipped through like flowing water. It had been two weeks since the day of his parents’ funeral passed. Yunho started going through his life like usual; went to school and fetched Jaejoong from the nursery school after his last class ended. He could still go on with his daily life by the amount of money his father had left in his account and added up with the death insurance he received. It was enough to support both of Jaejoong and his school fees and other necessities for a year.

Yunho had his own plan since long to live alone once he reached a legal age. He was still minor, but not for the next three months, he will turn eighteen and get his freedom. But to think there was no one left to hold a legal act on him, as both of his grandfather and grandmother also had passed away a long ago and his father was an only son in the family, the freedom he had been waiting already came early than he expected. But it was not in a way that he ever wished; all the excitements he felt before were lost and only replaced with distressfulness.

Now, he was just waiting to finish his school in the next few months and find a job soon after he graduated. He couldn’t just live comfortably and wait until all the money drained out for him to find a decent job.

“Yah, Yunho-ah…I heard you drop out from the basketball team. Is it true?” Yoochun asked as he spotted his best friend stood at his locker, ready to leave after the last bell rang.

“Yup, I decided to quit.”

Yoochun frowned at the simple answer. “But…why?”

Yunho closed his locker before he turned towards his friend. “I don’t have time to go for training or playing again. I need to divide my time for other things now.”

“What are the other things?” Yoochun asked again, still wondered.

“I thought you clearly know why, Chun. Just…my current situation not allowed it.”

“Oh…” Yoochun scolded himself mentally as he realized the thing. “You have to devote your time to taking care of your little brother now.”

How Yunho hated to hear the word ‘devoted’. He rather called it ‘forced’ since he was taking care of the kid out of his will; because of the internal pressure and the feeling of needed he felt after the little boy’s mother asked him to before the woman passed away.

“I’m sorry…” Yoochun uttered as noticed Yunho’s silent respond.

He already knew the sad thing that happened on his best friend when the other didn’t attend school for the mourning period after his parents’ funeral. And after the young man started his school back, Yoochun found it was hard to see Yunho around, the other had always leave school early lately. And now, he heard from their other members that Yunho had retreated himself from join their basketball tournament. He just couldn’t believe it since he knew how much Yunho loved the game.

“There’s no need for you to feel sorry for me. Well, I have to go now.” Yunho said.

“Huh, why so early?”

“I need to take my younger brother from nursery. If I’m late, they will charge for the over time. See you later!” With that said, Yunho rushed out of his school, without spare a second for Yoochun to persuade him anymore.

*****

Yunho slowed his pace once he got near the nursery school. And the sudden anger contorts his features as he saw Jaejoong was being bullied by the same kids from before at the front gate. Yunho saw one of those kids thrown Jaejoong’s backpack into a gutter before he pushed the little boy down. Yunho walked in a fast step, approaching them.

“Yah, what the hell are you guys doing?!” His fiery face and raging tone was enough to startling those kids.

Yunho pulled Jaejoong up from the ground by arm, before he turned back to glare at those kids.

“You kids… if you guys are bullying him again, next time I’ll surely beat you up, understand?” Yunho scolded them, making those kids stared at him with frightening eyes before sprinted away, cringing after got a snarling.

Yunho shifted his attention back at Jaejoong, who had his head hanging low and looking at the ground.

“Are you hurt?” Yunho asked.

Jaejoong looked up at him and shook his head.

“Have you been waiting long out here?” Yunho asked again, and Jaejoong reply with the same respond, shaking his small head slightly.

Yunho noticed the boy had strangely become quiet ever since he knew the fact of his mother had left him for eternity on the day of funeral weeks ago. He cried a lot on that day, only quiet down when he felt tired and fall asleep with a tear-smeared face. Also, Yunho found Jaejoong was still plagued by the nightmares of that gruesome accident as the boy will started sobbing in the middle of night whenever he woke up in the dark. Little did he know, watching the little boy in such tortured state made his heart ached. But never once, he showed it on his face nor his action when he treated the boy. He was still same, cold and distant – such a loveless person.

Yunho picked up Jaejoong’s backpack that was thrown into a gutter and patted the dirt away before handing it back to the little boy.

“Let’s go back…” he uttered and started walking ahead.

On the way back, Yunho took a glance at the silent boy who trotted beside him and he caught the boy was kept eying the ice-cream booth near the playground at the opposite street.

Seemingly get the hint, Yunho stopped in his tracks.

“Wait here.” He ordered shortly.

Jaejoong looked up at the elder with a blank looked as he stood there quietly, watching Yunho crossed the road and run back at him with a con of vanilla ice-cream in