Sorry

‘Loving you was hard, having you by my side should be enough. I really shouldn’t ask for more.’

***

“Yeay! It’s time to go home!” A little boy cheered once the teacher dismissed the class for the day.

“You look so happy every time the last bell ring.” One of his classmates said as they made their way out of the classroom.

“Of course! My father promised to take me to the theme park this evening if I being good at school today.” The boy said exuberantly.

“Oh, me too. My mother promised to buy a new game for me today!” The other friend said as both of the jaunty kids scampering run towards the school gate to greet their waiting parents.

Not far from them, there was another boy who had overheard and watched the two, he just feel excited as them, always waiting for the last bell rang to end the school day. But for this one peculiar boy, the cause of his excitement was not regarding any nice treats like other of his classmates would receive from their lovely parents. The cause of his impatient to go home was just to see his brother came and picked him up, as always, never failed to show up and take him home. That was what made him happy. It would probably mean nothing to those who came from a happy household, had their parents who would spoil them with sweet rewards.

But to this little Kim Jaejoong, all he cared about was his brother. Jung Yunho was everything to him. The only person left for him to rely on and believe in, the person that put him felt secure and comfortable in their current struggling life. Thus, he wished nothing but only the elder to not leave him as their parents did. The mere presence of Yunho around him was enough to make him felt completely at ease.

“Hey, what are you thinking? I’ve been watching you space out from a distance for a while now.” The familiar warm voice startled him and made him unceremoniously turned around.

“Yunnie!” The boy let out a contented breath, a smile bloomed over his small-full lips promptly and crept all the way up to his eyes that gleamed, apparently in relief and happy upon seen the presence of the other.

“Oh, your smile is too bright. My eyes hurt.” The elder teased as he brought up his arm to cover his eyes, pretending to feel hurt and causing the boy giggled cutely.

“Let’s go for grocery shopping. We will have your favourite food for dinner today.” He smiled as the boy took his hand and nodded his small head enthusiastically. There was always a warm feeling spread across Yunho’s chest, how he felt full once he saw the smile on the child’s face. It made him felt good in some way as if he had a strong reason, or rather someone that made him always aware that he needed to keep going and strive for a better life. A life that consisted of the two of them.

***

[Present]

“Let’s retake the scene!” The middle-aged man who currently sat on the folded chair, shielded by a huge tent shouted.

It was the fifteen times the stoic and pitiless director demanded a scene where the main actor had to fall on the hard pavement after the hit-and-run impact to be retaken. It was also the fifteen times Jaejoong had to throw himself over and over down on the street.

To make it worse of the day, the scorching sun was unbearable at the moment and all the crews could only look at the idol with pity-filled eyes.

“Are you okay? Should I ask them to give you a short break?” The make-up artist asked once the superstar walked up to her with a sweating face, as he had to get a touch up before repeating the same scene next, for the sixteen-time.

“It’s okay. I’m fine. It seems the director-nim need to finish it in a rush today.” He could still give her a small smile even in a weary look. That warm attitude of his had earned the admiration from the crews, effortlessly loveable once they got to know the real him. That made most of the staffs there who watched how he was being treated by the director at the moment, concluded the man was too harsh toward the new actor. They could see the director was somehow couldn’t dissociate himself from his bigotry towards the idol-turned actor. It happened during their first day of the meeting and introduction of the casts, as he once said there were a few terrible idol-actors out there who should've stuck to their actual job - singer should just sing, not acting. Moreover, Jaejoong was self-selected by the producer himself which made him prejudice about the idol’s selection, but he couldn’t complain which led the other to receive all kind of harsh treatments since the first day of their filming.

“That’s such a narrow-minded man. How could he treat a newbie like this? See, you already got scratch on your right cheek Jaejoong-ssi. I need to cover that with a foundation, wait a minute!” She nagged before rushing toward her medium-size box that full of branded cosmetics.

Jaejoong brought his hand up to feel where the scratch was. He didn’t even aware he had gotten a scratch on his face. He winced as his hand touched his cheek and felt the sting.

He dropped his hand and let out a small sigh. This was nothing. A scratch, a small cut like this won’t be able to dissipate his resolution to work harder and experience all kind of things that laid before him to be explored in his career now. Moreover, after back to live with someone he yearned for years, he felt something change in his spirit as if new life was springing up inside him.

The other presence made him feel so overwhelming that he forgot about any of his disturbing thoughts and struggles. At the mere thought of Yunho was being supportive and protective towards him these days had enough to make Jaejoong couldn’t care less about other things that seemed frivolous to him. As long as he had Jung Yunho by his side was what mattered most to him now.

“You are an idol, your face is your important asset. And yet that old man is being too harsh towards you.” The woman complained again once she busied herself with reapplied the makeup on Jaejoong’s face. Jaejoong could only smile at her complains.

“Let’s get it to start now!” The director’s loud voice alarmed everyone on the set again and everyone started rushing back to get ready with their roles and tasks.

Jaejoong took a breath and tried to get the right mood before he made his way back on the set to retake the accident scene.

Once he heard the director’s action line, he jumped on the street as he was instructed, an action of the impact after being hit by the sudden speeding car. The spy drama was full of actions that most needed him to do the stunt himself for the few first episodes.

The pained expression, the movement that he made and the hiss of pain had perfectly acted according to the scene. Everyone seemed impressed momentarily until the director’s voice pierced the silence at the site again.

“Cut! Cut!” He shouted and got up from his chair. “How many times do you want to repeat this scene? Don't you aware that you’re making it harder on everyone. And everything just delays because of-”

“It’s you who are making everything hard for everyone. Also, you that have slowed the progress of shooting today.” Someone had suddenly cut off the director’s irrelevant ranting.

Jaejoong turned towards the person who walked toward the director. It was Ko Sung-Hee, the writer of the drama. He never expected the woman that he had seen with Yunho at the hospital last time would be someone from the production company. When he was introduced to the woman on their first day of script-reading, he was stunned before able to process everything and acting normal. Up until now, he was still unduly curious about the woman’s relationship with Yunho that needed him a good distraction to not thinking about the matter when they had to be working together. He needed to show his professionalism. But he just felt even bad and small upon learnt to know the woman. Her deportment just so sophisticated, that he couldn’t dislike her. She was also kind and expert in doing her job. She was full of admiration that made Jaejoong felt insecure and slight jealousy when he thought how close such a perfect woman was with Yunho.

She was the one who briefed him what to do and not to for every scene before it started. It seemed now she couldn’t hold it any longer as she cast an irritated look towards the director after the umpteenth time repeating the same act for hours that day.

“What I’ve been watching is Jaejoong-ssi has been put a good act and mood, and that is what I want for this scene in my story! And you just keep cutting it out and retake the scene. If this keep continues, I don’t think we could finish this drama in a month!” She let out and huffed with a book of the script in her flailing hand.

“But his acting his far from my satisfaction.” The director countered.

“If you think this is not what you want, then I don’t mind to go see the producer and I rather have my story not directed by you.” She said nonchalantly.

The director threw an incredulous look at her. “Are you threaten me? What… because you have someone big from the entertainment industry to back you up, you’re being such a bighead now?”

For a moment everyone froze and remained silent, sensing the incoming heated argument.

“I’m not, but if you feel so, then that’s up to you.” She shrugged. “I’ve explained what I wanted for this scene to Jaejoong. And that is what he has been doing and yet you seem to have your idea, and you do not bother to brief him at all. Just keep directing without guiding is not a good practice.”

Everyone seemed had this kind of look of relief as finally, someone had voiced out the same thing that they had in mind. Seemed aware that everyone was looking at him with the same expression the writer currently had, the director huffed and shook his head.

“Tch, fine! Let’s see if the last recorded scene could be edit and use.” He let out and avoided the burning gaze of the writer.

Jaejoong somehow just watched the scene before him with utterly speechless and yet amused. He turned to look at the writer who was at the same time turned to look at him. Sung Hee smiled slightly. He returned the same smile and mouthed a silent thank you.

Finally, he ended his day of filming when the sun slowly set and everyone was busy packing up the equipment back into the van. Jaejoong had changed into his casual clothes, blue jean and a simple white T-shirt, nonetheless, his gorgeousness still emitting out as he walked to thank everyone for their hard work today. Somehow he looked perk up for someone who had been pressurized on his first day of filming - as it was time to go home.

“I hope you won’t feel down and regret involving yourself in acting.” The sudden voice approached him when he was about to get in the SUV that was sent to pick him up from the set. Jaejoong turned around and saw Sung Hee made her way towards him.

“Oh, Sung Hee-ssi. Thank you for taking care of the situation back there.”

“Just Sung-Hee, I told you to be informal with me. And it’s nothing. It's just everyone could see that he is being too harsh towards you and irrelevant. You’ve done a good job for today. Honestly speaking, your acting is quite good for a newcomer in this field, but that stupid director just tries to make it hard on you. It's just that he has someone else to fill in for this role before, but then our producer decided to give the role to you. Don't worry, I will make sure everything is going to work smoothly after this. And that director will eventually realize you’re the right person for this role. It's just that he needs time to trust the newbie.” She said and gave him an encouragement pat on his shoulder.

“I will work hard to make him trust me then. Thank you for today.” Jaejoong smiled and before he got into the car, she said something that made him halted from his move momentarily.

“Send my regard to Yunho and please ask him to reply to my text, that cold-hearted man. Tell him I will drop by his office when I have some time.” She smiled as he caught Jaejoong’s bewilderment look. “We’re just happened to be an acquaintance.” She said without explaining much.

“See you tomorrow, Jaejoong.” She waved her hand and walked back towards her vehicle. Jaejoong left with a confused look, thinking about how she knew that he was living with Yunho. One thing that came across his mind was Yunho must be so close with her to tell her about his current life - considering how reserved the man actually was.

It was a long and tiring day for him. And Jaejoong just wanted to go home and seek the real source of comfort and secure that only one person could provide. Once he reached their shared penthouse, he was greeted with a good smell of his favourite beef stew being cooked. A wide smile bloomed over his face as he walked towards the kitchen, as he expected where Yunho was.

Since the man had started working in the office and took over his real position as the second boss of the security company, Jaejoong had always come home and greeted by the sight of the other preparing dinner for two. The giddiness and eagerness of going home quickly once he had done with his job for the day had always been exciting.

“You are home.” Yunho spoke as he looked up from the white-marble countertop and found Jaejoong was staring at him from the kitchen entrance. A warm smile stretched his lips. “Go wash up first, then we can eat.” He said while placing another bowl of a side dish on the table that had already settled with so many dishes he cooked. To live alone all these times made him expert in cooking and he was glad that he could still cook for Jaejoong today as he used to back then. The feeling was so nostalgic and overwhelming.

Instead of walking as he was told, the idol made his way towards him and suddenly hugged him without a word. Yunho froze for a moment, his hands at his side, sensing something was a bit unordinary from how the idol acted and looked at him today.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

Jaejoong who had turned to be how he was back then, prone to hide his feelings to avoid the older one from worry unnecessarily, just shook his head that was rested on Yunho’s chest as he resisted looking at the man. He buried his face further until Yunho relinquished those arms that winded around his waist and held them. Jaejoong finally looked at him as he pushed the latter gently so that he could stare down into those big-doe eyes, trying to read them. But Jaejoong was wise enough to smile and shook his head, discarding the worriedness from Yunho’s look.

“Nothing, just happy to see you home.” The smaller man said cheekily. “I’m hungry. Can’t we eat first?” He grinned.