The beginning

*****

‘I've always heard people say just enjoy the little things in life, because one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Now, I know its mean.’

Yunho closed the door behind him once he stepped in. The deafening silence that greeted him once he got home, making his heart once again clenched in indescribable pain. The crying face of the only person that remain close to him, whom he could call a family was still flashed in his mind repeatedly. The bad feeling he felt was enough to torture him for a very long time or worst... would be haunting him for the rest of his life.

He had sent the boy away for living a better life. But somehow... he felt like he had just created a big mistake and what he had done would soon turned into something unwanted.

Yunho dragged himself to the room where he used to share with the little boy. Every step he took seemed gradually become heavier.

Why he couldn't just live the way he wanted? All he wanted was to glide through this life with the little one effortlessly and unaffected, when he already started accepted the presence of the boy in his life. But when a realization of him not capable to do so hit him, all the impossible thoughts started bothering him. And it became worst after his encounter with the little boy's real father.

[Flashback]

“I believe you’ve heard about me before, haven't you?” The man asked while filling up two glasses of water before extended one to Yunho. His face was in a calm smile.

Yunho raised his brows, obviously looking confused before hesitatingly took the glass from the man’s hand.

“I… I haven’t.” He cursed inwardly as for the first time he stuttered while answering someone. This middle-age man seemed had something in him, which made him looked unreachable and highly regard.

“Oh, really? But I believe you had.” The man said again, seemed insisting the teen before him to work his mind to remember something.

The frown on Yunho’s face deepened. “If I've heard about you… then, from whom?

The man smiled, as he was waiting that question to be asked, so he would be able to mention the name of the person. Somehow he looked wily and cunning.

“From Jung Jaejoong.” The man answered shortly before he sighed, “Oh no, it's actually... Kim Jaejoong.” He corrected and smiled slightly.

The words had enough to make Yunho stunned and froze in his seat. His eyes widened as his mind finally reached out to something; something that he had been curious about before and yet put him in befuddlement at the moment.

“You….. you’re the man who had always sneakily approached Jaejoong at school, aren’t you?!” Yunho exclaimed. His face morphed from confusion to rage this time.

“See, you did hear about me…” The man smiled amusedly.

"Who are you?!" Yunho finally blurted out. There was no more honorific term for the elder.

The man smiled before he retreated something from the folder near his seat. "Here, before you start to accuse me indecently, I want you to be clear about something first." The man handed the documents to Yunho. "Also, before I tell my purpose of meeting you." The man continued.

Curiously, the youngster took the document that was handed to him and viewed its content. As his eyes kept roaming on what was present before him, reading every word and trying to understand it, the feeling of uneasiness grew bigger and settled over him. He looked up at the man after finishing reading all the documents that related to Jaejoong's birth and the proof of the boy's was the other's son.

"W-what is the meaning all of this? You... are you really his father?" Yunho couldn't hide his befuddlement look.

"Yes, as you can see all the proof are in your hands." The man said compendiously with eyes directed to the papers.

"But... as far as I know his father had already died long ago, even before his mother remarried to my father. And... why now? Why just now you showed up and suddenly expose this thing to me?" Yunho asked again, as he didn't like how the thing suddenly arise.

"Okay, young man. Let me directly tell you my real intention even I know you seem could guess it." The man said and put down his glass on its holder on the side of the car. "I've just discovered that I actually have a son just not long ago." The man let out and he could see Yunho stiffened in his seat, looking at him in shock.

"Yeah, I'm such a pathetic father and that kind of man who had abandoned his family before. I didn't even know she was pregnant when we got divorced. I bet Jaejoong's mother hated me so much at the point she considered me dead. Well, it's a long story as what have happened back then and to make it short... I wanted to do the right things as a father should to his son."

For a moment Yunho just remained silent, he only staring  down with hands clenching around the glass in his grip before he looked back up at the man. "Well, if you're really wanting to do the right things to him, then... stay away from him. As what he knows his father is dead, then let the fact remained and unchanged." Yunho said assertively.

"If that what you said the right things that I should do, then I'm sorry to your disappointment young man. I've come this far and spend a long time to prepare all the necessary things in order to take him back with me to Japan." The man announced boldly with a calm look.

"W-what... No! You can't take him away!" Yunho suddenly exploded, anger lit up the sharp feature of his face.

"And who are you to stop me from doing that?" The man sounded taunting.

"I'm his brother and he's currently under my care!" Yunho blurted out, even he knew that was not a strong counterattack to oppose the man's intention; the man has the unarguable rights on the little one. But still, he won't allow that to happen. He hoped he could change the man's mind.

The man looked at Yunho amusedly, a grin extended across his face. Seemingly he had his own way to win against the younger one easily. That was enough to make Yunho looked more annoyed and fought the rising fume inside him that seemed ready for another blow.

"You know what, the first time I found out that my son is living with you, I can't deny that I don't have to worry about his safety. I should give you credit for that. You seem could protect him well. That proved when you prevented him from seeing me last time; a stranger whom he met secretly. But, that doesn't seem convincing enough for me to let my one and only son living with such a young person who still doesn't certain what his future is." The man said before he threw an envelope on the table, the contents scattered and exposed to Yunho.

Yunho's eyes widened upon saw his photos that was taken when he was on the illegal fighting ring in the underground club. The photos had been taken from different days, indicating the man had set eyes on him for quite a while.

"I think you know better what I'm going to do with these photos." The man spoke again, in a way of not asking but reprimanded.

Yunho stared at the photos. His hands fisted firmly on his knees now. "Are you threatening me?" He asked to unwavering look.

"I'm not if you are not being difficult." The man said. "I just want the best for my son. And do you think it will bring him any good to be so attach to you? What kind of life you will provide him in the future?"

This time Yunho was taken off guard, nonetheless, it irritated him that he found himself agreed with the man silently. He also didn't know what kind of future he would lead on. How could he be so confident to bring a better life for the boy, when he himself was not sure about his own.

"I know you have been struggling this far to pay for Jaejoong's medical cost. So, why don't you just handed him to me. I've already found the best hospital in Japan for his further treatment, and you can stop doing this kind of illegal job too."

Yunho looked up at the man. The anger in his eyes  was replaced with unsettlement and hesitation this time.

"Trust me, I'm his father. I know what is the best for my son. Also, I will write a letter of recommendation for you to further your study in the best university in Seoul. I've my own connection with the educational organizations in the country. I will provide you with more than enough money to support your life until you've graduated. Just take it as your payment for taking care of my son all this time." The man offered.

"I'm not taking care of him to be paid, so don't bother." Yunho replied without a second thought, coldly.

"What a prideful kid even in this underprivileged situation. Don't be difficult, just think that I've paved an easy way for you to live. So all you have to do is grab the chance and walk on it. How is that sound?"

Yunho just stared at the man in silence, there was so much things his head needed to root around. He knew the things were far more complicated than they might seem, and he was needled by a strong hesitation now, making him hard to come out with a decision. But it wasn't like he had another option to choose in the first place.

As he seemed to know the meaning of the silence from the youngster, the man smiled. "Well, I will take your silence as a sign of agreement."

[End of Flashback]

Yunho stared at the narrow room he used to share with the supposed to be his little brother. His eyes began watery as he caught the boy's staffs that still occupied at the corner of the room. Soullessly, he dragged his feet to the folded futon where Jaejoong used to sleep on, which the boy would always leave the spot immediately as he fond of cuddle with him instead; cramping  the eldest' sleeping place. Yunho's heart swelled by such all-consuming ache at the thought of how the boy had been so attached to him.

'Can he really sleep without me now?'

'Is he going to be okay living in a far away country?'

'Who is going to hold him if he had the same nightmare in the middle of the night?'

'He... he will be okay, right?'

Suddenly Yunho was bothered by those thoughts that made him to rethink his decision, even he knew it was so late no matter how he depressed himself over the things.

He slide down his body against the room wall while threw an empty look into space. His eyes then caught a pink, flowery medium-sized box under Jaejoong's drawer and something started flashed