"You are... I don't want to say it. Just get out of my face. I don't know you." Heechul gives Siwon his deadliest glare. "How could you even think of saying that to her?! What were you thinking!?"

"I was... I don't know! I was just really angry! I haven't seen her in years, no news of anything, and then she shows up having two kids! I mean, I was ready to talk to her, patch things up even if I was really hurt by what she did. But the kids... I just... I felt betrayed! I was left behind and still can't move on even after how many years but then she went and have kids!" Siwon whines. "And plus the fact that she had been avoiding me like the plague since she arrived! As if I had done something wrong! How was I supposed to feel?"

"So you insulted her." Heechul deadpans. "You didn't even have the decency to keep your thoughts to your self. Didn't it even occur to you that she could have adopted those kids? That she didn't break any of your marriage laws whatnots?!"

Siwon sinks lower into his chair, the weight of his mistake even becoming heavier and heavier with each of Heechul's words. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry. And to my defense, those kids look a lot like her to be adopted."

"Do you really think she would do that to you? It might have been short, what you had, but we all know that Jamie is not the kind of person to disgrace anyone; not you, not your families." Heechul pointed out, the anger in his voice finally subsiding. "Didn't even it occur to you that those kids might be yours?"

Siwon's eyes went wider than saucers, head snapping up to meet Heechul's gaze. "What?"

"Don't act so surprised, stupid. You were married. You fell for each other. Don't tell nothing ever happened between the two of you. If there hadn't, I'm going to let you convert me."

Siwon says nothing. Heechul gloats for a moment before turning dealy seruous again.

"You say you're sorry. Don't you think you need to tell her that? Stop complaining to me, I'm not your psychiatrist."

"It's not that easy, hyung! We haven't seen each other in years and when we finally did meet, I went and hurt her verbally. I doubt she'd even come back to work anymore."

"You know where she lives, Siwon. If you really want something, there are many ways out there to get to her."

"I know! I just don't know how to go about it!" Siwon wails, hands flailing in the air.

Heechul rolls his eyes, "Sometimes, Siwon, you don't have to make things so complicated. You'd be surprised how effective just doing something simply instead of elaborately. What matters is that you're sincere."

Siwon sighs. Can he just go up to Jamie and apologize jsut like that; simply, like Heechul had said. If it was a decade earlier, then it might have worked. But now, when everything is so complicated, he can't really see it as simple as that. Once words get out of your mouth, there's really no getting them back.

"And do me a favor too, Siwon." Heechul added, his tone sincere as he gives Siwon a look, "Talk to her. About everything. What happened between the two of you... they all have reasons. And I think... I think for the both of you to really actually move on, you need to talk things out. Even after all these years, you two have not find any closure. That is why there's too much tension between you. And it's all going to affect everyone around you."

Siwon knows this, and he really want to fix things up with Jamie. But he has no clue how to even start. Everything is a mess.

Heechul sighs, seeing the lost look on his dongsaeng's face. "Gosh, why do I always end up doing these things for you?" he groans. "Free your weekend. We're going on a trip."

"Hyung, I appreciate all your help, but really, I don't see how a weekend trip would help me."

"Honestly, Choi Siwon, you should know by now to zip it and not to ask questions when it comes to my decisions." Heechul deadpans once again.

"Fine." Siwon sighs. He's in for a curious weekend, to say the least. One should expect everything to happen when Kim Heechul was involved.

So when Heechul told him to pick him up from a small diner, asking to bring over his camping gear as they had agreed the day before, he should have expected to see the familiar face of his estranged wife... and of course, her kids.

"Hey! It's the mister from the airport!" the girl, pointed at Siwon. "The one who works at the same place uncle and mama does."

"Yeah! It's Mr. Siwon!" Jesse agreed with face. "Hello!"

Siwon didn't know what to do, looking at Jamie wiht confusion. Well, he already kind of has a hint of what this camping trip entrails, but ther might be a chance that Jamie and her kids being here was just a coincidence?

"Uh... hi." he greets them, smiling at the kids instead of keeping eye contact with Jamie, she seemed just as lost as he feels and that is not a good sign. "Fancy meeting you here. You're out pretty early for a weekend."

"Mom's friend invited us to go to his villa. It's supposed to be near a waterfalls and we're going to go camping there." Shane piped excitedly.

Siwon resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. Trust Heechul to put him on a situation he has no idea how to face.

"Uhm... does this person fortunately happened to be... Kim Heechul?" he asks slowly, taking in the surprised look from the kids and looking up to Jamie, who frowned at the mention of Heechul's name.

"Wha--- how did you know?" Jamie asks, clearly confused.

Before Siwon could answer, his phone rang and as to be expected it was Heechul.

"Put me on speaker, Simba." Heechul instructed the moment he was answered.

Siwon sighed and pressed the speaker button, giving Jamie an apologetic look. "You're on, hyung."

"Hi, kids! It's Uncle Heechul! I really am sorry I can't make it today! I have work. You know how it is with really famous people like me!"

"You're not going to take us?" Jamie cut in, "Well, if you're not coming, then maybe we should just reschedule?"

The two kids whines at the news, Jamie shushing them.

"Oh, but that's why I sent Siwon. He's going to take you there. I mean, it's his villa anyways."

"What?" Jamie frowns at the phone, and then at Siwon, giving him a 'Did you plan this?' look.

He shook his head, eyes wide with denial. He chose his words though, seeing the hopeful looks on the kids. "He... he just told me to get my camping gear ready."

"Yes, because I really want the kids to enjoy a weekend away on a nature trip, Jamie. You can't have them hanging around the busy city! Let them experience a few mosquito bites!"

"As if you would be willing to experience mosquito bites yourself, Kim Heechul."

"Of course I don't! But that's besides the point. I promised them a great weekend and that's what they'll get. You'll like that, kids, right?"

"Yeah!!" the kids nodded eagerly, giving their mother hopeful looks. "Mom, please, let's go."

"Mr. Siwon can take us! You can, right, Mr. Siwon?" Jesse gave Siwon that puppy dog eyes no one can really resist.

"Uh..." he looks at Jesse and then at Jamie, "Uhm, I can. That's if your mom would still want to go without Heechul-hyung."

"Of course she will!" Heechul asserted firmly. "Come on, stop wasting time! It's at least a two-hour drive away from the city and you need to arrive there tonight so you can visit the hotspots tomorrow. Come on, people, chop chop!"

Jamie still looked reluctant but her kids were persistent. Soon enough, they were on their way to the villa Heechul had said. Siwon could feel Jamie staring at him through the whole ride as the two kids excitedly chat at the backseat, but he tries to ignore it. It's going to be a long weekend and he's going to use that time to fix things with Jamie. By the end of the trip, he's going to make sure they're okay.

"Wow... this place is awesome!" Shane got out of the car with awe in her cute little face. "Jesse, hurry up! Let's check it out!"

"Just a minute! I'm looking for the camera. Where'd you put it?"

"It's on my bag, not yours! Hurry!"

Siwon smiles at how the girl was practically rattling at her brother's window to get him going. Jamie kept telling them not to wonder off too soon and that they should put their things away first before strolling away.

"It's fine. I can do that." Siwon offered. "You guys can go explore for a little. Just stick to the trail if you ever wonder off to the forest."

"Uh, no, Siwon. The ride had been exhausting. These two needs to rest first." Jamie insisted, looking pointedly at her kids, "And we can't let Mr. Choi take care of our things, that is just rude. He's already letting us use his villa. Come on."

"But, mom~" the two whined in sync.

"Come, Jamie, don't be such a spoilsport. Let them go." Siwon grins playfully.

The two kids looked at their mother expectantly. Jamie sighs, agreeing. She glares at Siwon but he just grins a little more. Before he lets the kids go though, he gave them cellphones each, a few coins and bills, and made them promise that they won't be going to the forest on their own and stick to the small town where they're at.

"We're going there early tomorrow morning so don't spoil it, okay?"

"Yes, Mr. Siwon!" the two piped and went runnig excitedly for the two which was just around the bend.

Jamie followed the kids with worried eyes.

"Don't worry. It's just a small town. They won't get lost." Siwon reassures her and started hauling thier bags out of the car.

There were only a couple of bags since they were just staying for a weekend so the two housebuddies busied themselves preparing lunch and dusting off a little. The villa had been a little unused and if not for Heechul reminding Siwon about it the other day, it would have been left forgotten.

"Ah, I can't remember the last time I came here. It's been way too long." Siwon mused as he placed a pitcher of lemonade on the living room table. "I think the last time was 4 years ago when Kyuhyun got out of the military. Kibum also had a break that time so we kind of made a get-together."

"That's nice." Jamie let out a smile, and Siwon couldn't help but think how he miss it. It's been years since he had seen that smile.

"And you wouldn't believe what Eunhyukkie and Donghae did." he added more excitedly, wanting to see that smile once more, "They made an impromptu Super Show right out there in the front yard. Free admissions of course. And the audience? Well, we got a few critters for guests but we mostly scared away the wild life."

"Typical SJ, I'd say. You still got them all running." Jamie grins.

"Yeah... well, we've got people running too even if we didn't want them to."

Jamie stopped fiddling with the cushions on the couch. There's silence, one that's filled with words desperately needed to be uttered yet neither one knows how to.

It was Jamie who cuts the awkward silence with forced nonchalance, "People come and go in out lives as they please, we can't stop them."

"But I really wanted you to stay." Siwon cut in, letting all pretense fall. He can't take it anymore, "I would have done everything to make you stay."

"But I needed to go, Siwon."

He thought that he had got over it, the hurt at how her words cut him. But hearing it once again, it's like hearing it for the first time. But he promised himself that he would try to make things better. Maybe they can't go back to what they were, but he really wants to start it again with Jamie. Heechul was right, he can't move on if he's still too caught up with the past.

"And now you're back. Can't we... can't we start over again? I mean, look at what happened a few days ago? I said so many words that hurt you all because I was kind of angry-- wait, I think I was, but that's not the point." he faced Jamie and wished she was looking at him instead of worrying the old cushion on her hands. "I'm sorry for what I've said the other day. I didn't mean to bring your kids into it. I just... I just felt hurt. I mean, you left! And when you came back you suddenly have twins hanging around you! I felt betrayed even if I didn't have the right to!"

Jamie looked up finally, confusion in her eyes. "You... you think I made a family with someone else..."

"Well, yeah! Didn't you? I mean, despite what Heechul-hyung had said about them being adopted--"

"Adopted?! Why would he think that?"

"Exactly! I mean they look a lot like you! And that's not the only ridiculous thing he speculated. He actually said that I should have considered them being my kids but--" he waits for Jamie's reaction, expecting it to be the same outraged look when he said Heechul thought her kids were adopted, but the only look he got from her was the surprise and almost expectant look on her eyes. She looked like she's a little scared too, yet curious. It's a funny look she's giving him and that's when it the possiblity hits him.

Oh.

"You... they..." he gulps, feeling his heart race inside his chest. There's just no way... well, there is, but... it's just too overwhelming. She left him hanging eleven years ago, broke his heart in the process, and the she comes back, the first thing they did was fight, and now she's telling him that those kids were--

"I... I didn't know when I left. And when I did it was... I was already on my second month and got things figured out, well, at least a part of it. I was working at Berkeley, and assistant to one of my professors there. I was finally getting my life back on track, at least the one I wanted before--... I wanted to tell you, at least so you would know what was happening. But I got scared... I knew you would hate me. And I didn't want to bother you when I did something that had hurt you. So I kept it to myself." she looks up at Siwon with her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I'm sorry for keeping them from you. It's wrong but I was afraid that it might distract you even more from your career if you knew."

Siwon frowns, "Is that why you left? Because you will distract me? Who told you that?!" all the anger and hurt instantly dissipated, and replaced with another one. "So you lied when you said--"

"I left because I didn't want to hold you back, Siwon. It wasn't the best time for us. Even if I stayed, we would have ended up hurting anyways, not only ourselves, but everyone around us."

"But we did just that when you left. Don't you think it could have gone out better if we were together all the way through?" he's still hurt, and accusative, but knowing that Jamie didn't leave because she didn't want to be around him, is a huge relief. At least it gives him hope that they can actually get back to what they were.

"Whatever could have happened, we'll never know, Siwon. It's all in the past."

"You're right." Siwon agrees, taking up the courage to step closer and took Jamie's hand. "And... I really, really, really..." he put a finger under her chin so she would look at him, "I really want you to stay this time. Please, Jamie. I fooled myself into believeing that I was angry with you because you left me. But I know that all these years, I'm actually waiting for you to come back. And this time, I'm not letting anything get in our way."

The hope in Jamie's eyes is clear even through the tears. He wipes them away, smiling gently even if he was not in the verge of tears too.

"I hate to admit it but... I guess we have Heechul to thank." Jamie says as she buries her face into Siwon's chest. Somehow, it feels like coming home.

"We don't have to tell him." Siwon chuckles, "At least not until we get back. I hate it when he gloats. That's one of the things I really resent you when you left. You're one of the only people who can control him."

"But he's got his wife to do that now."

"But we all have to endure it for years before he finally got married to her. Do you know how many times we have--"

"I don't really want to know. I'll be experiencing it too much in the future anyways." Jamie says as she put her arms around Siwon.

"So does that mean you're staying?" Siwon couldn't help but ask.

"Are you kidding me? You just forgave me for the stupidity I've done all those years ago. Do you think I would do the same mistake again?"

"I didn't hold it on you, really. I just wanted you back so much that it hurts when you didn't."

"It hurts not knowing if we'd be given another chance too. I cried almost every night, especially when I had the kids. I really wanted to see you, share them with you. But I was scared. I was scared that you hated me. I couldn't face you."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Jamie. We've got the whole of our lives ahead of us to make things right, to make it better. I can't wait to hold them close to me, make up for the lost time. I'll make sure to make up for verything I've missed. We'll be one big happy family, Jamie."

"Thank you, Siwon." Jamie let her tears soak Siwon's shirt, heart full and warm it felt like it's going to burst any minute now. "And it might have eleven years too late but... I love you."

Siwon laughs, tears escaping his lids. "I've been waiting for yo uto say that. It's never too late for love, Jamie." he tugger her away gently so she was looking up at him, smiling as he wiped teh tears from her eyes, "I love you, too. I think I always had and just was too much of a chicken to say it out loud. If anything, I think I should have told you that earlier, maybe it could have stopped you from leaving."

"Maybe I could have put up more fight."

Siwon grins, leaning closer, "And maybe, I could have seen the kids grow up." and then a wry smile crossed his lips, "And maybe we could have not just made twins."

Jamie slaps him on the shoulder, glaring. "Way to ruin the moment, Siwon. Really!"

"I just wanted to make you laugh. It worked somehow, right?"

"Whatever." Jamie smiles anyways and push Siwon away reluctanly, pinching his nose when he pouts, "I need to make lunch. The kids would be coming back soon. And then I have to think of a way to introduce you to them without initiating the apocalypse."

Siwon follows Jamie to the kitchen, content with just looking at her as she milled around, preparing the food.

"Why don't you call them instead of straing at me and being useless."

"I love to look at you and be useless." Siwon chuckles but takes his phone out and called one of the phones he gave the kids. It rings a few times before it got answered. "Uh, hi, kids. It's me." it suddenly dawns on him that he doesn't have any idea how he should address himself. Should he start calling himself their 'dad'? The thought makes him inexplicably warm inside, along with the weight of being a father. God knows that as much as there is no manual to life, there are no books on 'how to be a dad for dummies' printed somewhere.

"Mr. Siwon! Mr. Siwon!" it seems like Shane on the phone, the line being a little static because they were out in the countyside.

"Shane? Where are you guys? It's time for lunch. Come back now."

"We can't, Mr. Siwon! Please! Come help! Jesse! He fell!'

That's when Siwon hears the frantic tone in Shane's voice, not the usual hyper sound when she gets excited. "What? Shane, slow down. What did you say?"

Jamie frowns, shutting the stove and coming over to Siwon. "Is everything okay?"

"Please, come quickly, Mr. Siwon! Jesse! He fell! I can't see him! Hurry!"

"Where are you?" Siwon couldn't mask how he was stricken with panic too, not even for Jamie's sake. "Where exactly are you?" he was already going for the door before he got an answer.

"Siwon, what's happening? Are they okay?" Jamie follows, brows furrowed with anxiety.

"Where near the trail to the waterfalls. Please hurry up!"

Siwon couldn't even be bothered to ask why the two went their when he specifically said that they should clear off the forest. He just needed to get to them, get them safe, get them home. He had just discovered that he has a family, he'd go insane if something bad happens to them.

The trail is a little unused, though it's not far to the waterfalls. The kids wasn't there yet and if Siwon still could remember, the accident could be on that one that Yesung nearly had fallen off to a few years earlier. It's a little steep slope that was covered by bushes and if one doesn't know the area well, the place is a really dangerous one.

Jamie was trailing behind him silently, the only evidence of her own worries was how tight she was holding his hand. He grips her fingers comfortingly, reassuring her that everything would be alright, he would make it all alright.

"Jesse?! Jesse, please answer me! Jesse!" Shane's franctic calls rang out through the dense forest. "Jesse, please! Answer me!"

"Shane?!" Jamie called out, "Shane! Where are you?!"

"Mom? Mom! Mom! Over here! Hurry up! Please!"

They found Shane, dirty and scratched a little, kneeling near the slope Siwon remembers. Her face is a little scratched, tear tracks glistening down her face. She immediately enveloped herself into her mother's embrace the moment she can, sobbing frantically.

"Why are you here? Didn't we tell you not to-- Oh God. Are you okay? Where's Jesse?" Jamie is openly sobbing. "Why are you always so stubborn? Why can't you do as you're told?"

"I'm sorry, mom! I really am!" Shane sobs.

Siwon started going down the slope, yelling Jesse's name. It's a steep slope and luckily it hadn't rain and the rocks weren't slippery. When he got to the bottom, Jesse's sprawled unconscious body greeted him. If he knew what having a heart attack means, then it could possibly be the feeling of his heart almost bursting out of his ribscage, or the feeling of something with a jagged edge being stabbed into his chest and twisted deeper.

"Jesse." he calls out and gathered the boy into his arms, fear slightly aleviated when he hears him breathing. There wasn't any blood other than from the scratches, and he finally takes a deep breath. "Jesse, come on, boy, wake up."

"Siwon! Is he okay?" Jamie asks from the ledge above. "Is he hurt?"

"He's out of it. But I think he's fine." Siwon answered. "Hey, buddy, wake up. Jesse."

Jesse stirs and opened his eyes after a few moments, he looked confused at first and then when he understood what was happening, his eyes widened.

"Shane? Where is she? She was falling--"

"Shh, it's okay, Jesse. She's fine. She's up there with your mom." Siwon calmed the boy down. "You're fine, right? Does anything hurt?"

Jesse closes his eyes, looking exhausted. And then he opened them, the mischief back. "I'm fine. But I feel better if we'd have ice cream."

Siwon laughs in disbelief. He hugged the boy who didn't even squirm even if the two of them are technically strangers. "Anything you want, buddy."

As the two of them made their way back up, Jesse on Siwon's back, Jesse suddenly asked him a squestion that kid of took him aback.

"How come you always come find me when I'm in trouble. Are you secretely a spy or something? A hero?"

Siwon laughs again, something he can't help around the kid, "What do you think?"

"I think... that if you ever ask my mom out, I'll be okay with it. You're awesome." the boy answered sincerely. "Don't tell her I said that though. Even with Papa and uncle egging her, she never goes out with the people who asked her."

Siwon tucks the information for future reference once he gets to talk to Jamie again. "She didn't? And how come you call Han-sung 'papa'?" it kinds of irks him really, Han-sung gets to be called something of a semblance to a father, when he can't even if he is the father!

"Well, we just kind of do. I wish I met my real dad though. And if I do, I hope he's as cool as you."

"Don't you hate him for not being around?"

"Not really. Mom said he's a little too busy and we can't be with him at the moment. But she also said that our dad is a really kind person and if he had a choice, he would chosen to be with us. So I never hate him. I wish I'd meet him soon though, now that we're back here."

"Haven't you seen a picture of him or anything?"

"Mom doesn't have one. Oh, wait, she does! But I've only had a glimpse of it once."

"If he's around, why is it olkay with you to have your mom dadting? Don't you want your dad back?"

"I do. But mom was lonely all the time, so I want her to be happy. Even if it's not dad, which I'd rather it be with him, then it's okay."

Siwon couldn't help but be in awe with how Jamie had raised these kids, he wouldn't have done it on his own. Not evn close.

Once they were back to the trail, Jamie immediately gathered her son on her arms, crying through her admonishments.

"I'm sorry, mom. It was my fault." Shane cries silently behind her mother. "Jesse didn't want to come but I forced him to. I thought the falls is nearer, like what that vendor had said, but then I nearly fell. He tried to save me but he fell off instead. I'm really sorry."

Siwon immediately got the girl in his arms, cooing and wiping her tears. "It's not your fault. It was an accident. Come on, don't cry. You just have to remember to listen to your mom next time, okay?"

Shane nodded and let Siwon clean up her face.

Jesse scrunched up his face, giving Siwon a look. "Can we go get that ice cream now?"

Siwon laughs, "Yeah. Let's go home."

As the four of them made their way back, Siwon discreetly took Jamie's hand, the two kids walking ahead of them. He smiles at her, promising a new start for their little family. And this time, they'll make it work. With them together, they'd make forever last.

a/n: I am really tempted to click that complete button up there, but no... i still have a short epilogue in mind.

maybe I'll be able to post it tonight!

GOSH! even with this typhoon, I'm still ecstatic in posting!