Jamie hesitated on taking the first step towards the building in front of her. It had been a few weeks ago when she entered the place and back then her heart wasn’t hammering as loudly as it is now. Back then she had not even the slightest feeling of hesitation, but now…

A quite familiar face walked towards her. The same girl who had talked to her when she first came here.

“Unni, you’re here again.” the girl said.

“Uh, yeah… I am.” Jamie replied, voice low.

“Why are you here again? Last time you came, I didn’t see you come out. Do you actually work here?”

Jamie sighed. “No. I have some friends who work here.” she started towards the glass doors. She cursed how her feet feels like they were tied to ground, making it hard for her to take each step.

“You have friends? You mean you’re friends with some staff?”

Jamie felt like her feet were glued to the ground now as she took the last step towards the glass doors, the small group of fan girls a few yards behind her since the guards wouldn’t allow them to go closer. “You can say that…” she murmured as the doors opened and she went inside.

The receptionist directed her to the same floor she went to the last time. Of course she wasn’t looking for Siwon, she asked for a different person this time. Like the last time, the hallway was filled with muffled sounds from closed doors, but something pulled her to one familiar door. It was the practice room where she first danced again after a long time, the one where Ella and Soo-jin were having their practice.

She peered inside and instantly she saw the girls, now joined with another one she assumed to be KC who was absent the last time.

The three of them were dancing to some pop music, their moves a mix of popping and some contemporary ballet. They were moving gracefully and though Jamie can only hear the music partially, she could tell that each move was precise to each beat of the music.

KC, with her intent look on the mirror as she moves to the beat, is clearly the better dancer among the three of them. Jamie could easily see that KC puts a lot in her dancing… something that reminds her of a certain person, who was the reason she was in SME in the first place.

Soo-jin suddenly realized that Jamie was at the door, peering through the glass section. She suddenly stopped dancing and skipped to the door with a huge smile on her face.

“Unni! Come on in!” Soo-jin ushered Jamie in before the older one could respond, more like dragged Jamie in actually. “It’s been long since you first came! Where have you been?!”

“Oh… I… I actually started teaching a week after… so I’ve kind of busy with my new work.” Jamie let herself be dragged in, not really wanting to disappoint Soo-jin since she kinds of give her a feeling of a little sister.

“Really? You’re a teacher? A dance teacher?” Soo-jin seemed to be jumping any moment now because of excitement.

Jamie chuckled. “No. I teach on a high school. I’m a music teacher.”

“Oh.” Soo-jin kind of pouted, but her mood was up in an instant again. “Ah! Before I forget! Let me introduce you to KC. You haven’t met her yet, right?”

“So you’re that famous unni these two were talking about.” KC smiled and bowed politely. “Hello, I’m KC.”

“I’m Jamie.” Jamie bowed a bit. “Uh, maybe I should go… you were practicing…”

“Yes, they were.” someone said from the door which made the four girls turn.

Jamie felt her breath caught in . Her heart seemed to stop beating and it was suddenly hard to breathe. She stared at him.

His hair, it’s tied in a messy kind of ponytail behind his head, fringes hanging on the side of his face. He used to say that he wont even let his hair reach past his shoulders because it‘s such a nuisance to take care of such a long hair. He used to wear eyeglasses because he’s a little bit farsighted, but now she could tell that he was wearing contacts, his soft brown eyes covered with black-tinted lenses. And he seemed to bulk up since she had last saw him. He was lean back then, almost to the point that she used to for being skinny, but he wasn’t weak. He wouldn’t bulk up because he dances a lot, almost every minute of everyday.

And then it happened and he wasn’t allowed to dance anymore again… Jamie felt the air being out of her lungs at the sudden influx of memories. She wanted to run out of the room, wanted to be freed from that hard look on his eyes. Why did she even think of coming here in the first place? She shouldn’t have even considered coming here after Siwon told her that he works here.

“Uh, Mr. Yoon… it’s my fault. I’m sorry. I invited her in since you gave us a five-minute break.” Soo-jin apologized.

Jamie finally managed to get out of her trance. She looked away from him and put a hand on Soo-jin’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Soo-jin. I shouldn’t have come in the first place.”

“Unni…”

“No, it’s okay really.” Jamie put on a reassuring smile for the girl’s sake. “I’m leaving.” she walked towards the door but faltered since he was standing on her way. She stopped a few feet away from him, the distance between them seemed to be a thousand miles. “I… I’m sorry…”

“For what?” he asked.

Jamie could feel tears pricking her eyes and she know they would fall any moment. His tone was cold, mocking. She wanted to tell him she was sorry not only for interrupting the practice, but also for what happened… five years ago.

He walked past her. She froze, not because of the proximity of their closeness after so many years, but at what he said in those fleeting seconds they had been close almost to touch. His voice was low enough for Jamie to be the only to hear. ‘Never show me your face again.’

Her tears fell down as she closed the door behind her.
 

It’s late and Siwon sighed as he lunged himself on the couch. It had been a long and tiring day and there’s nothing he wants to do than take a hot shower before going to bed and snore until high noon the next day. It’s Sunday the next day and his schedule wont be hectic again until Monday.

Pushing himself up from the couch (groaning cause he’s so tempted to sleep there, all cricks and aches in the morning be damned), he went to his room to get a towel. He’s careful to be silent since he assumed Jamie was sleeping.

“Oh my goodness! Jamie!” he almost shrieked as he took the space between the bathroom door and the tub in two hurried steps (the bathroom was pretty wide; blame the adrenaline). He quickly turned the shower off, crouching on the tiled floor. “What the-- Jamie!! Why are you under the shower? Do you want to catch cold?” he asked, wrapping his towel on Jamie who still had her clothes on while sitting under the cold, freezing water from the shower. He doesn’t know how long she had been under the shower, but judging by her almost violet lips, it had been long enough to catch hypothermia if not for the summer afternoon heat still lingering.

Siwon hauled Jamie out of the bathroom to her room. He took out her own towel and dried her hair and face before picking up some clothes from her dresser, mentally thanking her being neat that he located her pajamas instantly. She  didn’t say anything, not even a sound. She just stood there as if in a trance, hair sticking onto her wet face and neck.

“Please change. I’ll come in five minutes, okay? I’m just going to boil some tea.” Siwon said before walking to the door.

“He doesn’t want to see me again.” Jamie said, voice low and throaty.

Siwon turned around, worried about how Jamie sound. She definitely had caught cold. Why was she under the shower with her clothes on?! And now that he finally managed to look at her face carefully, he realize that her eyes were red as if she had been bawling them out.

“I shouldn’t have gone and see him.” she continued. Her voice cracked as tears poured down her eyes when she said her next words. “I just wanted to…see him…to say…sorry… I guess it’s really too late now.”

Siwon finally understand what she was talking about when he saw the small box on Jamie’s bed. It was the same box Eunsuk had shown him. He walked over to Jamie who was already crying silently, body wrapped in his towel which was now also soaked through. There was already a small puddle of water under her feet, but he ignored it. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

Jamie cried even harder, sob after sob ripping through her as tears flowed down her face, mixing with water dripping from her hair. Siwon ignored as he got wet from hugging Jamie. There was nothing else he could do for her at the moment but be the one to hold her as she deals with her heartache. He hates to see her cry, and even though he’s not someone to hold grudges, especially towards people he doesn’t even know, he hates Han-sung for making her cry.

Siwon doesn’t really know how long they stood there, Jamie sobbing in his arms, but finally he managed to console her a bit and went out to boil the tea and change clothes. When he came back, Jamie was already wearing dry clothes, sitting on the small couch near the window. The couch was leveled with the windowsill so she had her head on the window frame, looking up at the night sky blankly. He sighed. This kind of Jamie is someone he doesn’t want to get used to.

He walked over to where Jamie was sitting and put a mug of tea on the window sill, sitting on the couch opposite to Jamie, looking out the window too with his own mug of tea in hand. They were quiet, neither one really minding the silence.

“We used to dance together…” Jamie said in almost a whisper.

Siwon leaned on the opposite window frame and relaxed a little. He wonders what spurred Jamie to tell him that, but he wants to listen to her. It was a part of her life he wants to know. He wants to know who Han-sung was, is, to her.

“He loves dancing as much as I love music. I think he even love it more than life itself. When we were little, I would play on my piano and he would dance along with my music… it was the best days of our lives. We even got into the same school of performing arts. He was on top of all his dancing classes on his first year, breaking all records of past top students. He’s one of the best dancers the school ever had, one of those whose got a really bright future ahead of them.”

Siwon watched as a tear slid down Jamie’s check. He wonders if she even realize she’s crying.

“All of  it disappeared because of one selfish girl.” Jamie said, voice rising a bit. “Because that stupid selfish girl demanded her best friend to drive her to her competition. Because that selfish girl wanted that plaque of recognition for her collection. Because that selfish girl ignored her best friend’s protests of him having a class to attend to and suggestions of she should just go there by train or taxi. She ignored him and insisted for him to drive her to her there. And then…” she choked on a sob. “And then… they crashed…and … he’s leg…he got hurt…because… he protected that selfish girl from slamming… slam… slamming…” sobs wracked her whole body as she cried at the  memories once again.

Siwon pulled Jamie into him once again. She clutched at his shirt as she cried, the front of his shirt getting soaked with tears.
“Sshhh, stop crying, Jamie…” Siwon murmured. “It was all an accident. Nobody wanted for it to happen.” he said, rubbing her back soothingly.

“I… I didn’t even see him at the hospital… I… I felt so guilty…” Jamie cried. “When the doctor said he couldn’t use his legs the same way before… I… I was so scared… and guilty… I… I don’t know how to face him…”

Siwon continued to rub soothing circles on Jamie’s back, murmuring reassuring words. Soon Jamie’s sobs quieted and she fell asleep. Siwon picked her up gently and placed her on the bed, tucking her in. He looked at her face which even in sleep still look like she was carrying a heavy burden. Guilt is a bastard that everyone finds hard to cast off. And he know that no matter what he tells Jamie, she’s the only one that can free herself from it. No matter how much he want’s to help her and make everything alright, there’s really nothing he can do but to be there to hold her when she felt like crumbling up and drowning herself in tears.

He sighed and looked at the small clock on her bedside table. It was past 2 in the morning. He looked back at Jamie who’s face now look more peaceful as she succumbed into deep sleep. He adjusted the blanked on top of Jamie, looking at her intently.

He contemplated for a moment before leaning in and kissing her forehead gently. He brushed the strands of hair off her face, not really knowing why he kissed her. He insisted inside his head that he only wished that even in her dreams, she would feel him and know that he’ll always be there to wipe the tears that were so insistent on trickling down her face.

With another sigh he walked to the door. He looked back once more and turned the lights off.

“It’s been a month since our wedding, Jamie. So much had happened… happy one month anniversary…” he murmured before closing the door.

Inside Jamie’s dreams, she was sitting on top of a tall building, the rain pouring heavily over her head. It was cold, the rain pricking on her skin like icy glass shards. Suddenly, the rain stopped. Or better yet, the rain hitting her skin stopped. She looked up and saw an umbrella held above her, keeping her from the rain. She followed the hand holding the umbrella but she couldn’t see his face. His voice was familiar when he said something: ‘I’ll be your umbrella.’ She swear she’d seen that goofy smile before.
 

a/n: ahhh... there are just those freaky things that make freinds drift away from each other..