She had been into this building several times before, but never had she felt these walls too close that it’s like they’re drowning her. Siwon’s manager is sitting in front of her, silent and solemn as they wait for the ‘higher-ups’ as he had said.

It scares her, the fact that nobody knows about the meeting that Siwon’s manager had arranged for her and one of the management heads. She knows that they should practice great caution, especially with Siwon’s name hot on the tabloids and media nowadays, she had actually prepared for this type of a compromising situation. What she did not ready herself for is the bottomless pit of fear inside her stomach as to what was going to happen now; to her, and more importantly, to Siwon. She’s a nobody; she can disappear anytime without the world batting an eyelash. But Siwon… he had given up too much for his name to be tarnished. A few months prior and she wouldn’t have given a damn to what would happen to a certain Choi Siwon. But now, now that she had known how kind and real Choi Siwon is, how he’s only flaw is that he’s almost perfect, she cares too much to let something, anything, ruin the life Siwon had given sweat and blood for to achieve.
 

“I’m sorry I’m late.” A low baritone voice greeted.
 

Jamie was suddenly jerked out of her stupor, looking up and standing along with Siwon’s manager to bow to the older man who had just arrive. They were told to sit down but even the comfort of the leather-covered chair does not help settle Jamie’s stomach. Her hands were sweaty and she had this insane urge to run out of the conference room that feels too cold and too huge for her liking. Why did she even agree to this meeting without telling anyone? What was she thinking?
 

Oh, right. She wasn’t thinking at all. She as far too lost in her world of worries to even think properly.
 

“I’m Mr. Gum. It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms. Song.” The older man greeted.
 

“Uh… yes.” Jamie had never been a liar, and she can’t tell this man that it was nice to meet him too when she clearly wants to bolt out of the room.
 

“Well, let’s get straight to business, shall we?” Mr. Gum clasped his hands over the slick and shiny glass table.
 

Well, what else did Jamie expect? Everything is business for these people. Siwon, Super Junior, the other artists, they are all but tools to earn more money. It doesn’t matter if they were married because their family wanted to; if family matters affect the business, it has to be fixed. In whatever method needed.
 

“I hope you still remember the circumstances in which you were allowed to keep your marriage with Siwon. It was supposed to be a secret; nobody but you and your family, and the management, should have known. We have ignored the fact that one of the trainers had been informed of the situation.” Mr. Gum looked at Jamie pointedly.
 

“Do you mean—“
 

“Yoon Han-sung. We were contemplating about sending him abroad again but he’s far too valuable in this company. And other choreographers expressed their desires to collaborate with him. So we opted to just ignore that little slip, hoping that nobody else would be let in into the secret. I don’t think another slip would be allowed and I hope it would avoided… for everybody’s sake.”
 

There was a threat right there and Jamie knows it. These people won’t hesitate to relieve Han-sung with his contract with the company. Cold-hearted bastards.
 

“Anyways, that was out of topic somewhat. The real reason why you are here, Ms. Song, is that piece of news that somehow managed to slip out of our grasps. I believe you were told to be as careful as possible. But that little incident at that grocery store has now found its way on the internet and even if we do damage control, there is no way that netizens would stop prying. Choi Siwon… he is one of the top artists this company has. He’s at the top of his game and we would do everything to keep it that way for as long as possible. But we cannot do that… if unwanted things are to happen in the future… as to what happened in that grocery store. We cannot afford that. It might have been a little slip, but prevention is better than cure, don’t they say? Right now we were able to divert the media’s attention, thanks to that new movie Siwon is in. And don’t even get me started with the same circumstance that could have happened a few hours after what happened in the grocery store. You were also in that restaurant.”
 

“We were celebrating--”
 

“I know, Ms. Song. And that’s the point of this meeting. We cannot afford to keep having those kinds of circumstances.”
 

“What do you mean then, sir? That I can’t go out with friends? That I can’t go out in public?”
 

“I meant… that if Siwon is to keep his status, then he doesn’t need bad publicity.” Mr. Gum pointed out bluntly. “He’d lose everything if anything depicting your arrangement is to go out in public.”
 

“So you don’t want me seen with Siwon anywhere?”
 

“In a way, yes.”
 

“But we live in one house! How’s that even possible?”
 

Mr. Gum was silent, but his silence is scarier than the sharp words coming out of his mouth. Jamie is scared with her own thoughts too, as to where this whole thing is going. She looks at Siwon’s manager, they may not have been closer than acquaintances, but he knew about the circumstances surrounding Siwon and Jamie, he even kind of supported them in a way. Why is he keeping his silence now?
 

“You… you want me gone…”
 

Jamie’s tongue feels heavy in , and air seems to refuse from entering her lungs. But she struggles to keep her calm; she’s Song Jamie and she can’t let these people push her around.
 

But what to do? She can’t be selfish. Siwon has lots to lose. Can she carry it in her conscience?
 

“We only want the best for our artists, Ms. Song. If sending you away on a vacation for a little while is necessary, then we may do just that.” Mr. Gum stated.
 

Who are they kidding? A vacation? More like permanently erasing her in Siwon’s life to save his career until they don’t need him anymore or find a replacement for him.
 

“So what do you say, Ms. Song?” Mr. Gum inquired with his cold eyes.
 

Jamie stared back, steeling her gaze. “I’d say… it’s Mrs. Choi, not Ms. Song.”
 

“Who do you think the girl was?”
 

“Nobody knows. The footages were really grainy and there’s a rumor that the good ones were deleted off the net. Gosh, I’m really curious. Who do you think could it be?”
 

“A girlfriend?”
 

“NO! It can’t be! I’d die if Siwon-oppa announces that she has a girlfriend!”
 

“What if it’s Kang Hyemin? They were seen together later that night.”
 

“Her? Well… I don’t know. But still! Siwon-oppa cannot have a girlfriend!”
 

“It’s his life! He can do what he wants.”
 

“Unless that girl looks like a goddess, she doesn’t deserve Siwon-oppa! He’s too perfect for anyone!”
 

Jamie resisted the urge to snap at the group of girls squealing as she tries to finish some work. The faculty room’s heating system was being upgraded or something so almost all of the teachers were forced to find some other place to work. Most chose the library but Jamie thought it was a good excuse to feel the slightly chilly autumn air instead of the getting stuffed in an air-conditioned room full of hushed whispers.
 

But right now, she’s actually contemplating about stuffing herself in the library instead of hearing Siwon’s fans wail about that viral video on the internet. She doesn’t understand how fans and idols work but she’s kind of getting one view of it; just her luck that it wasn’t the best of views.
 

“Hey, Teach! What’s up?!”
 

She turns and was greeted by Insoo’s wide grin and a scowling Yoojin behind him. “Hello. Have you had lunch already? Where’s Ina?”
 

“She’s on the phone with her brother, Miss Song. Have you had lunch already?” Yoojin inquired. “If you hadn’t yet, my mom gave me too much lunch today. You want to share, Miss Song?”
 

Jamie grins excitedly, not caring if having lunch with her students might cause a little misunderstanding with other teachers. She’s a little upset, what with all that’s happening in the past few days, and homemade lunch would surely do the trick. She makes a mental note to visit home that coming weekend, even just for a small break. Nothing calms her more than being at the home with her parents, the only place she feels relatively safe right now because the home she shares with Siwon is a little suffocating at the moment.
 

“Hey, Teach… isn’t Han-sung-hyung working at SME?” Insoo asks in between bites of his lunch.
 

“Uh… yeah. How did you know that?”
 

“He made me watch this one video with him and another choreographer dancing. He mentioned that the choreo was Greg Hwang something and I searched him up; he works at SME.”
 

“I didn’t know you use the internet other than online games.” Yoojin sneers.
 

“Oh, it’s surprising that you don’t know everything.” Insoo bit back sarcastically.
 

Jamie shook her head with amusement, already used to the two’s antics. “Why are you asking, Insoo?”
 

“Well, nothing really. It’s just one of SME’s artists had been on a scandal lately. You know Choi Siwon?”
 

“Uh… I’ve heard of him. I saw the news on TV.” It’s hard to lie, but this kids doesn’t have to know that they’re teacher leads a very complicated life. “I heard he’d been seen with a girl or something. Is that really bad?”
 

“Well… fans can be really possessive, Miss Song. It’s hard to be an idol, especially here in South Korea. Once you become one, you’re partially owned by fans. That’s why it’s very hard for idols to have a relationship if they are still active.” Yoojin imparts with a thoughtful look on her face. “I would really be sad if Kai-oppa suddenly had a girlfriend. But I will still support him. But it would be really sad.”
 

“Why? He doesn’t even know you. He won’t care what you think! You are all so inappropriately possessive! Can’t you just be happy for those idols and let them be happy?”
 

“Of course we want them to be happy!”
 

“But you all claim them as yours so when they suddenly get girlfriends, you all go ballistic because you wish you’re the girlfriend instead. Ridiculous” Insoo spats. “And to think that many idols had their career ruined because of possessive fans themselves. They should be ashamed.”
 

“Ruined careers?” Jamie frowns, asking the question more to herself.
 

“Yeah. Fans can either make or break and idol’s career. Idols are either forced to hide their relationship or sometimes beak them entirely because of their demanding fans. It happened to many times before and even if there had been improvements, it’s still bound to happen.  Why can’t just people be happy for others? I mean, they don’t own them. They’re people who live their own lives; a life that are not just on camera but real lives as well.”
 

“Wah, very well said, Insoo. For someone who never had a girlfriend, or a life, you speak about these things so well.” Yoojin remarked with sarcasm.
 

“Well, maybe I do live a life. Stop being such a stuck up, Yoojin. Just because I’m not as bright as you doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about life.”
 

Jamie could hear the hurt in Insoo’s tone so she interfered immediately. “Hey, hey, Yoojin was just teasing you, right, Yoojin?”
 

Yoojin seemed to have caught on and actually looked apologetic, feeling that she had taken the teasing too far. “Yeah… sorry about that.”
 

The two started teasing each other again after a while, leaving Jamie to her own thoughts. Was it really possible for Siwon’s career to suffer if she continued being stubborn about staying with him. But they were such in a good relationship now. They like each other a lot, and they are trying to work things out. Besides, if they just keep being careful and not let the public know about their status, then everything will still be alright… right?
 

The next few days went by in a blur until Jamie could finally live like normal again, or as normal as dating Choi Siwon can be. The rumors died down, may it because of the company’s intervention or the fans just lost interest. But all of it seemed to have been forgotten as fast as it had come.
 

Siwon was busier than ever, not even having a little more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep when given the chance. Because of their schedules, Jamie had only seen Siwon a couple of times during the week. They haven’t even had a meal together in the past 5 days. They text and Siwon tries to call now and again, it’s always him because Jamie is afraid of disturbing him while on work, but the calls are always short. Sometimes Jamie finds herself sitting in the dining room, facing papers to be graded with a bowl of rice in hand, thinking how she hates eating alone but she has no choice. She has to endure it.
 

It went on like that for another few days until Jamie was woken up with bright sunlight on her face at too-early AM on a Saturday morning. She’s pretty sure that she had closed the curtains last night to block the sunlight come morning because she didn’t want to wake up earlier than noontime. So… why is there unforgivable brightness inside her room?
 

“Wake up.” A smooth and gentle voice called.
 

Okay… she must be dreaming. Because she was pretty sure Siwon can’t be home because of schedules. Maybe she’s still fast asleep and dreaming of Siwon because she misses him so much.
 

“Jamie… wake up.” The familiar smooth tone called out again, clearly amused. It was followed by a soft caress on her face.
 

The ticklish feeling could not be just part of her imagination, right?
 

So she slowly opened her eyes, waited for the blurriness to clear a bit, and try to process that there is clearly a person, who look a lot like Siwon, peering down at her with the widest dimpled grin ever.
 

Oh… it really is him.
 

“Good morning.”
 

She replies by snaking her arms on his neck and dragging him to the bed until he was half lying on top of her, chuckling. Even with the comforter separating them, she can still feel him, that warmth that she now calls home. She missed it, terribly much.
 

“You missed me this much? It’s only been a few days.”
 

“Shut it, Saint Siwon.”
 

Siwon laughs a little, prying her hands off him for a bit so he can lie next to her comfortably. He was still on top of the blankets but it didn’t stop her from snuggling into his chest, an arm above her sheets so she can wrap it around his waist.
 

“Want some breakfast? I cooked.”
 

“Really? The fire alarms didn’t wake me up so I’m guessing it went relatively well?”
 

“Better.”
 

There’s a comfortable silence between them, neither really wanted to move even with the prospect of breakfast.
 

“Don’t you have work?”
 

“I have the rest of the day off. My schedules today were moved because of some conflicts. I’m sorry if I wasn’t around much.”
 

“It’s okay; it’s not your fault.”
 

“But I still feel guilty. So I’m making up for it. What do you want to do? We can do everything you want today.”
 

“Can we sleep all day?”
 

“It’s tempting… but really, don’t you have anything in mind?”
 

“It’s too early to think.” She groans, snuggling even closer. “You’re too chipper this early for someone who hadn’t slept decently for the past 10 days.”
 

“I wanted to spend as much time as I can with you.”
 

“Mhmm… what do you have in mind, then?”
 

“Well… we can go watch some movie. Or go to the park or something. Your students have these small performances now and again, right? Han-sung told me about those. I want to see it.”
 

“But we can’t go out. What if what happened the last time happens again?”
 

With the memories of the meeting immediately coming to mind, Jamie finds herself fully awake. She had not told anyone about the meeting with Mr. Gum, and by the looks of it, neither had Siwon’s manager. She was a little surprise, but with the news and rumors finally going down, she let it go.
 

“Nah… where’s your sense of adventure? That’s why disguises were invented. Besides, without make-up, I’m pretty hard to recognize. We’ve gone out several times before that and it was fine. Come on, Jamie.”
 

It only took for Siwon to whine a little more, matched with gooey puppy eyes, and Jamie finds herself agreeing despite the warning bells inside her head. She had missed Siwon so much and she was just as eager to spend some quality time with the latter. And it is true that nothing could really happen if they were careful enough.
 

Or maybe not.
 

They were strolling around the less populated parks, enjoying the autumn breeze which was still warm with the remnants of summer. It’s a quiet day and really pleasant to just walk by the pond and Jamie even kind of forgot that she was out with Super Junior’s Choi Siwon. It was just Siwon and her, two people who have kind of started liking each other after they were forced to be married by their parents. Two people who were trying to know each other because they had somehow grown attached even if the circumstances that brought them together was rather clichéd.
 

And then a group of teenage girls started following them around, murmuring and giving them curios looks. It was when one of the girls found the courage to ask if he was really SJ’s Siwon that Jamie felt something was going to be terribly wrong.
 

Siwon smiled and gave autographs, going as far as to take pictures. The girls were not paying attention to Jamie so she slipped away quietly in order not to pried about her identity and why she was out with Siwon. The last thing they need is for the company to hear about the two of them being seen in public together when it was made clear that they can’t.
 

When they got back to the apartment, Siwon’s manger was there, phone in hand and talking rapidly. Apparently he was being hounded by several reporters about the girl that had been seen with Siwon, who she was and what’s her relationship with him.
 

“I told you to keep it low!” Siwon’s manager growled, giving Jamie a fleeting look before glaring at Siwon. “How are you going to explain her to the public? We have talked about this many times! How can you be so careless?!”
 

“Hyung, we didn’t mean to.”
 

“Didn’t mean to? You were seen walking in a park! That time cat the grocery store could be forgiven, and I thought you have learned from that. But then you just have to make an encore! In broad daylight! In a public place!”
 

Siwon was silent and Jamie wished she had been more resolved and convinced Siwon to sleep in all day instead.
 

“I’m at fault. I’ll take responsibility.” Siwon answered, giving Jamie’s hand a squeeze.
 

“You wouldn’t have to. Let’s just hope that the higher ups wouldn’t take drastic actions.”
 

 Siwon’s manager gave the tow of them one last warning look before walking out of the living room to answer yet another call.
 

Siwon gave Jamie a concerned look and circled his arms around her. “I’m sorry if I had to drag you into this. Everything’s going to be fine.”
 

And she hopes it would.
 

A week later and Siwon was losing too much sleep, not only because of shoots and appearances, but because of constant hounding by the media, stalking paparazzi and unstoppable fans. There were several fansites that were bashing Jamie even if they don’t have any idea who she was. The footages from the grocery store once again aired and there were lots of speculation to her identity.
 

Siwon’s friends and both of their families were calling them now and again, telling them that everything will eventually subside and will be back to normal. Jamie’s really thankful but she’s still worried that one day the media will be able to find out who she is. When that day comes, everyone they know will be affected. And Siwon will not only be reprimanded by his company, there’s the possibility of him being suspended somewhat, one way or another. That’s what Jamie can’t accept.
 

It’s a Saturday afternoon, Siwon shooting for his movie. One of the ‘damage control’ strategy that SM had done with the situation was to create scatter rumors about Siwon and Hyemin; using publicity for their movie and creating buzzes about the two of them. It only did not distract the public from Jamie but created a good starting audience for the movie as well. But even with these, the gossips were still not dying down entirely. If anything, there were those netizens who were making bad rumors about Siwon hiding a ‘woman’ and creating uproar online. It doesn’t matter that they were partially right; it was going to ruin Siwon, the latter working hard to keep Jamie out of the public’s view as good as he can.
 

That’s when Jamie thought about a solution that might solve it all for them.
 

She dials the number with trembling fingers, waiting for the person to answer. It took five rings before and irritated ‘hello?’ answered her.
 

“It’s me. Jamie.” She says quietly, taking a deep breath before continuing when the person on the other end of the line kept silent, “I’ll do what you want.”
 

“Thank you. Ms. Song.”
 

And the line went dead.
 

Her heart feels heavy and her knees buckles under. She looks at the framed picture of her and Siwon on their wedding day, thinking that she’s all doing this for him. It’s all for Siwon.

a/n:

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