“Hyung, I think we should get him home now. He’s been downing pretty much alcohol.” Ryeowook nudged Sungmin, pointing at Siwon with his lips.

Sungmin, as well as the others, didn’t miss how Siwon was gulping down bottle after bottle of beer since he came in a few hours ago. Lucky he’s got a good alcohol tolerance and the beer wasn’t affecting him that much, that and also their luck that Heechul didn’t buy sake or soju earlier.

“Siwonnie.” Sungmin started.

“Yes, hyung?” Siwon looked at the leader, face a little bit red caused by the alcohol. He downed another bottle of beer and reached for another, which Kangin promptly snatched away before he could lay a finger on it. “Hyung, that was mine.” he protested a bit. He reached for another, which Kyuhyun took from him. The younger one promptly opened the bottle, Siwon guessed the maknae just wanted to open it for him. He frowned at Kyuhyun when the other gulped it down, barfing loudly as he emptied it halfway. “Yah! I was going to have that!”

“Siwonnie. You’re drinking too much. Is something wrong?” Sungmin asked. He should have asked it earlier when Siwon came knocking on the upper floor dorm and asking if they were up to drinking with him. Since Siwon said it was his treat, he agreed.

“Huh? What made you think that?” Siwon grinned. “Nothing’s wrong. Definitely nothing!”

Kangin raced a brow at Siwon. “Yeah right.” he said dryly. “Did you fight with Jamie?”

“Jamie? Fight with her? No!” Siwon let out a laugh. It wasn’t his usually cheery laugh.

“Siwonnie. What happened?” Sungmin was concerned by the way Siwon was acting. It wasn’t like him to drink just because he wants to.

Siwon fiddled with the empty bottle of beer on the table.

“So you really did fight.” Ryeowook stated. “What was it about? Is it because of her friend? That Han-sung guy?”

Siwon let out another dry laugh, continuing to play with the emptied bottle. “It wasn’t even near that.”

“Then what did you fight about? I thought you get along well.” Sungmin prodded.

“We do.” Siwon replied, leaning on the back rest of the couch.

Kangin nonchalantly put his feet on Siwon’s lap and leaned on the couch’s arm, drinking from his own beer bottle. “Then what the heck is wrong with you? I’m guessing you didn’t fight since if you did, you’d be quacking about it rather than drinking. Not that I mind the free beer.” he tapped Siwon’s leg with a sock-clad foot. “Spill it out, Simba. Before I make you.”

“It’s because we get along well that I regret what happened.” Siwon said. He groaned as he put his palm on his face and dragged it downwards. “I shouldn’t have done what I did! What am I to do now, hyung?”

“I…” Sungmin tried to think of something to say, it wasn’t exactly normal for Siwon to complain about a girl. “What exactly did you do?”
Siwon opened his eyes and looked at Sungmin. He took a deep breath, “IkissedJamie.” he said in one go, letting out the air out he was holding in at the same time.

Kangin kicked Siwon not so gently. “I did say spill it out. But I didn’t exactly understand a word you said.”

Siwon sighed. “Hyung…” he looked around the other four. He could trust them with his life, he knows that. And he know that they will help him in whatever his dilemma is. It’s just that Kyuhyun and Kangin weren’t exactly as compassionate like Sungmin. Ryeowook would go easier on him.

“Siwonnie, if you don’t tell us what happened, we wont know how to help you.” Sungmin said as he tried to stop Siwon from stalling.

“I… I kissed…her.” Siwon said.

There was silence. Siwon sighed. Sungmin and Ryeowook had identical dumbfounded look on their faces. Kyuhyun was surprised too, but he was the one to recover fastest. Kangin just stared at Siwon as if he had grown another head.

“I know that the bet on the first kiss was a better idea.” Kyuhyun muttered. “I would have won by now if you agreed.” he told Kangin in a low voice, which seemed so loud in the quiet living room.

Sungmin throw a pillow at Kyuhyun’s head. “Shikoro, Kyuhyunnie.” he turned to Siwon. “Siwon-ah… I  don’t really see what the problem with that…” he said tentatively. Since Jamie got involved with Siwon and the two of them got to get closer with each other, Siwon had always regarded Jamie as someone he should take care of. “It was just a kiss… right?”

“Min-hyung is right. If you feel sorry about it, then you should just tell her that you are sorry. Did she get mad?” Ryeowook asked.

Siwon shook his head, looking at the pattern of his jeans. “We… we didn’t even talk about it after. I left the house. That’s why I came here.”

“It happened just a few hours ago?” Kangin asked.

Siwon nodded. “I mean… I don’t know what had gotten into me. I just… she was…she was falling from the chair and I caught her. And then…. She was just to close… and…” Siwon sighed again, slumping back on the back rest. “Now everything will be as awkward as ever!” he groaned.

“She didn’t slap you, did she?” Kangin asked.

“No. She just stood there… and I didn’t know what to do… so I left. I don’t know what to tell her…”

“Because you weren’t sorry you kissed her.” Kangin said. He continued when Siwon didn’t answer. “You’re just worried that whatever relationship you two had build around the marriage would be gone because of a stupid simple kiss.”

Siwon couldn’t help but to think that Kangin absolutely hit bull’s eye.

“The more you should be more concerned right now, Siwon, is not about the kiss really, and how it suddenly complicate whatever the two of you have.” Kangin continued.

Siwon looked up to face Kangin. “What? What do you mean, hyung?”

“I mean, what you should really ask yourself is why you are not sorry you kissed her. You…are you falling for her, Siwon?”

Siwon didn’t know how to answer that.

***

He closed the door gently behind him. Immediately, his eyes was looking at her bedroom door and he asked himself if she was already asleep. He mentally slapped himself, of course she was asleep. She’s got class tomorrow.

He went to the kitchen, questioning himself why he always think about her when he gets home, if she had eaten or not, or what she had done throughout the day. And when he leaves home, he hopes her travel to school would go smoothly. And when he’s having a break from filming, photoshoot, or whatever he is doing, he thinks what she’s doing; if she’s also having a break from classes she’s giving or being crammed with piles of schoolwork to grade. Since when did she started filling his thoughts exactly?

He took a huge gulp of chilled water from his bottle inside the fridge. Her water bottle is always filled with water, he had never seen it being partly empty. He realized how she have something placed all over the apartment, not just the water bottle on the fridge. There was that apron she bought, hanging on the wall next to the sink. Her toothbrush was on the bathroom sink, sitting next to his. Her towels were on the cabinet beneath the bathroom sink, on the left side while his towels were on the right. She’s got her school stuff set on the study table opposite to his computer desktop inside the small study room. She’s got one of her old throw pillows, a green and pale blue striped square pillow, on the couch in the living room, something that highly contrasts with the black and white color scheme. She brought a different brand of powdered soap and fabric softener for her clothes since she said she’s not used to buying the same expensive brand he’s using. She had stacked her music sheets and several CDs on the workout room where he had set up a sound system. She’s practically everywhere in the house except his room… oh well, he had placed his wedding ring on the drawer beneath his desk… and he still got that crumpled piece of paper he had thrown away and picked up the next morning, that list Allie had made him jot down. Everywhere he look, she’d be there.

He looked at the island counter, remembering how he practically set a tornado loose when he insisted on helping her on baking that cake. The said cake landed in a mess when he let it fall to the floor to catch her. And after that… the way he held her in his arms, her scent, her face… her lips.

There was something sitting on the middle of he island counter and because of the dim lighting, he had to walk nearer to see what it was. It’s a cake. Chocolate. Just like earlier. And there’s also a note next to it.

Saint Siwon! Why come home late? You have an early schedule tomorrow, right? >,<
Anyways, the cake is actually for you. It was supposed to be a surprise for you but you ruined the one we made earlier! If you’re asking what it is for, well, consider it as a thank you for taking care of me, and putting up with me, for this past month.
It’s been a month since the wedding! Can you believe it? You’ve putting up with me for that long!J  Congratulations for your endurance. Happy one month anniversary? (it’s cheesy, I know! So shut it, ahrasso?)
 

Jamie

 
He couldn’t help but smile. The note was so Jamie. He could easily see the grin on her face as she was writing it. And somehow, he felt exhilarated about her baking him a cake. So she didn’t actually forget that it had been a month since the wedding? And that was why she didn’t want him to help with the cake because it was for him.

He looked at the note again and realized that there was a P.S. at the bottom.

P.S. About what happened earlier… can we forget that it happened?…

He felt his heart fell. Looking at her bedroom door, he asked her silently why she would want to forget about the kiss. Was it because she didn’t want for it to happen in the first place? He didn’t either. But he know that inside him, he didn’t regret it.

Kangin’s question run inside his head over and over again: You…are you falling for her, Siwon?”

Was he?

a/n: was he????

omo, i can't believe i'm always forgetting to update this when i have so many subscribers! sorry!! and becasue i'm really sorry, it's a double update! yey!!

heads up: next chaps are angstsy...