I stopped the car right beside the park so my parents won’t find out I was with Dara all the night. She is awake and she craved for food so I bought her a burger from a diner at the park. We’re having our breakfast together inside the car.

“How are you feeling?” I asked her, referring to the long sleep she had just now.

She just nodded and munched her food in a rush because she is too hungry I guess. “It’s… uhm, it was awesome. It never fails to make feel awesome.” She replied constantly. I tapped my finger on the wheel and looked around the area.

“What do you think your parents are going to ask you when you got home?”

She suddenly asked.

I lean my head on the window and puffed, “I don’t know. We’ll see.” I said.

“Hey, Chae? Is… is that your dad?” she pointed at a direction somewhere in the park, at a red luxurious car. I leaned forward to see for it and make sure about it. Holly. Yes that’s my dad. What’s he doing there….. with a woman?

I could notice Dara glanced at me secretly to make sure if everything’s okay with me but no. I don’t think I’m okay. My dad is at the park, inside an expensive car with a woman that looks little younger than my mom.

“Is that someone you know?” Dara asked once again after a moment of silent.

I shrugged, “I… I don’t know. I don’t think so…. .” I murmured when I’ve just witnessed my dad kissing that woman. I quickly looked away and ducked my head. I noticed my hands are clutching onto my shirt and my heart rate increased to its peak.

What’s happening now? My dad is cheating with some rich woman? Why is he doing this? What the hell is going on? That just doesn’t sound like dad at all.

Dara’s hand reached my shoulder and she squeezed it lightly, “Do you need me to take you somewhere else?” she asked carefully. I blinked my eyes and knocked myself out.  I glanced at her warily, “No… I should go home. My mom is probably waiting for me, she’s gonna be worried.” I said and my voice is almost inaudible.

Dara reached my hand and she squeezed it. Her hand is cold, as cold as everything feels right now. I want to cry. I really want to cry. I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t be running toward that car and yell at my dad. I don’t have such courage. All I can do now is…cry.

“Is this real? Is that my dad? Am I being delusional?” I started asking so many questions to Dara and she quickly hugged me. I don’t even have the strength to hug her back. My body is so weakened and the picture of my dad kissing that woman passionately is still hanging on my mind I can’t get rid of it. How could I? It’s the most impossible thing I could think about my dad.

All this time… I think he is gentle. I think he is a loyal man. I think my family is not having problem with harmonization but what the is he doing there?

I can’t stay here anymore. I let go of Dara. “I should go…” I said and got out of the car.

Dara held my hand once again, “Are you sure you want to go home right now?” she asked with her worried face.

I nodded lightly. “Call me!” she shouted before I closed the door and ran home.

I stepped on the kitchen and found my mom tasting her cake. She lifted her head and scowled at me. “Where have you been?” she raised her voice.

I’m still in the state of shockness so I don’t really feel like talking. I’m just starring at my ordinary mom, just wondering if she knew, or what she would do if she knew. What’s this family gonna be when everything is exposed?

Later I just find myself very guilty and I rushed to hug my mom. I hugged her very tightly I feel like I could break these fragile bones. Mom’s so skinny and that makes me feel bad even more because I think she is too fragile to handle this kind of thing. I mean, dad cheating and stuff.

. I feel like punching dad in the face right now.

“What’s wrong, baby?” mom asked with her gentle and soft voice as she rubbed my behind.

I managed not to cry because mom will bug me all day long about it and I really don’t want to tell her the truth right now. I want to make sure if it’s true, if it’s dad cheating though it’s already pretty obvious.

I squeezed mom for the last time before I let her go. I stepped backward and faked a smile for her. “I just miss you, mom.” I said and I kissed her cheek lightly and pretended to smile again.

She chuckled and fed me with the chocolate cake she made that tastes way better than the ones I ever bought in some shops. I smiled.

“Now tell me where were you last night?”

“I was doing a project with a friend. I needed to stay over so… yeah, I stayed over at her place.”

She narrowed her eyes and her look is telling me that she is suspecting me and I can guess what’s on her mind.

“And your partner for the project is???”

I sighed, “Mom… no. It’s not Sandara. Don’t worry.” I said quickly and went upstairs. I locked my door, and my curtain and put the music on. I lay down on my bed and starred at the family picture on the desk next to the bed.

The tears literally fall down and I wiped it off as soon as I heard a knock on my door.

I make sure my face looks as cheerful as it can. I brushed my hair and faked a smile as I look at myself in the mirror before I went to open the damn door. The person before me is glaring at me with his unshaved beard that I used to adore but now it seems disgusting especially when it probably has been touched by that my dad was kissing.

He leaned on the wall by the threshold and crossed his arms, ready to interrogate me. It’s funny, how he is the one who looks mad when he is the one who’s at the biggest fault.

“Don’t tell me you were not with Sandara Park last night because just now I saw her car leaving the park and obviously, you just got home so… don’t you ever lie about it. At least, give a better excuse.” He said with his normal annoying tone when he’s giving me a speech.

I groaned and avoided eye contact with him. “Yeah I was with her. But we were doing project at school so you don't need to worry because…”

“Liar. I heard from the headmaster what you’ve been doing with her. You  made a painting of her . You’ve been hanging out with her friends. The headmaster is worried about you!”

the headmaster. He said he wouldn’t tell my dad. It looks like I could barely trust anybody now, even my dad, the person I respected the most my whole life and now I feel like betrayed.

I scratched my scalp and still avoiding eye contact. He cleared his throat, “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” He raised his voice. Now he is officially very mad.

I looked into his eyes and once again, there’s urge to punch him on the face.

“I can’t believe you’re rebelling against me. You never did this before, before you met that girl.”

I smirked, “I’ve been always wanting to do this to you, dad. I’m tired of being caged. I need a freedom, for God’s sake. You’re treating me like a kid. I can’t ing stand it. When I’m with her, I feel free, and I get to know the world better. I get to explore myself and I get to know what I really want. This is my life, dad. I’m getting my happiness so why don’t you just let me be?”

“You can be happy even without being attached with them. You know them! I’ve raised you not to be someone like them.”

“What’s wrong with being someone like them? At least they’re honest, at least they dare to express themselves, they’re not hypocrite and they enjoy their lives. I like the way they live. I like being friends with them. I like it when they accept me and the most important is I like Sandara. I love her, dad. I really love her. I’m ing in love with that girl.”

“Don’t say that!” dad yelled at me.

“Why? I can say whatever I want now that I know you don’t even have the right to tell me what to do. You’re a hypocrite dad!” those words slipped out of my mouth and dad looks very shocked and pissed.

Then I saw mom by the stairs, watching us both with teary eyes. Looking at her makes me feel weak again. I hate it when she is crying.

“Tell me… what have you done with her? What has she done with to you?” dad started stepping forward to get closer to me. It’s weird and I don’t think I’m being delusional because I really smell a woman’s perfume.

I pushed him away without my consent. “Don’t come in!” I yelled at him as I ducked my head.

“Answer me!” he yelled once again.

“What are you talking about dad?” I pretended not to know what he’s talking about. I know what he means.

“What has she done to you? What were you two doing all these time? Answer me!” he hit the wall with his clenched hand. I took a deep breath and this time I looked at him and say proudly. “You know what we've been doing dad. You don't even have to ask because you already know the answer…”

“Did she give you drugs?”

I smirked. “I can’t believe you distrust your daughter like that and I can’t believe that you’re not somebody I used to think you were. I’ve been fooled all this time. I’m sick of it!” I said and slammed the door right in front of his face. I turned up the volume of my music and hide myself under the blanket, crying loudly.

See? The bad hunch I had this morning. It was not just a hunch. It’s really happening now. What a bad luck!

***

Two days after that incident. I haven’t been talking to dad and I’m not answering mom’s questions. I went to school early in the morning and came home late to avoid being at home. I hate that home especially when dad is in it.

I realized that headmaster has been watching me. He is patrolling the class everyday and watched me at some chances. It must be dad’s order. I feel even sicker of him now.

I saw Dara’s grinning face right after I closed my locker. She looks shiny, or, it’s just me?

She approached me after ignoring a boy who was talking to her. She cupped my cheeks and attempted to kiss me but I pulled away. “Remember? The spies.” I whispered. She g