Credits go to kurogane, for this amazing poster.

[ Forty One. If I Were You ]

Jiyong and Dara arrived back in their apartment at nearly midnight, and Jiyong groaned loudly to release his exhaustion, lying flat on his back on the couch. He had managed to finish shooting the music video for “Bad Boy” after countless takes. He could have finished much earlier, but his perfectionist attitude prevented that from happening. After filming, he would look over the result with the director, and come up with other ideas that might get better results. The filming dragged on, and that was partially why, in spite of Jiyong’s warning, Dara did join Hyeongseop for lunch with Yanggaeng and Soon Ho. When Jiyong took a break after they came back, he wasted no time in demanding a detailed description of their meal together, not excluding their seating arrangements and any potential chances of skinship. Yanggaeng, purely out of fun, informed him  that Hyeongseop had uploaded another picture of Dara onto his social media account as well as paid for Dara’s lunch, and anyone could see the daggers shooting from Jiyong’s half-crazed eyes.

“Seriously, what is up with that kid?” Dara, putting her bag on the kitchen counter, knew that Jiyong was referring to Hyeongseop even before Jiyong said anything else. For the concept of the music video, he was already sullen and frustrated, and off the set he was even more so. Dara found this both exasperating and amusing. “He’s known you for barely a week, and asks you out for lunch. I’ve known him since he entered the company, and he never wants to eat with me.”

Dara sat down on the couch beside Jiyong, pointing out, “You’re sounding as if you’re jealous of me over Hyeongseop, not the other way around.”

“That too. That kid neglects me and tries to steal my girlfriend. This is so depressing. I keep giving love, but never receiving it.” Jiyong said in such a mournful manner that Dara burst out laughing. “I can’t believe I said that. It’s Hyeongseop’s fault. Talking about him is making me seem weird.”

“Stop acting jealous. You’re ruining your bad boy image, G-Dragon.” Dara told him, playfully nudging Jiyong’s side with her feet. Grabbing Dara’s by her ankle, Jiyong kissed the side of Dara’s leg quickly, turning on his side so that he could face Dara as he lie on his stomach. Laughing, Dara said, “Ew, don’t kiss my leg. Gross.”

“I like it. Because it’s mine.” Kissing it again, Jiyong threw her a boyish grin.

“Stop it.” Dara tried to pull her feet away from Jiyong’s grasp, but he had a strong grip on both her feet. He yanked her towards him by the ankles, causing her to squeak in surprise and roll to the side. Both of them fell onto the furry rug on the floor. Jiyong crawled over to Dara’s side and kissed her cheeks with a loud smooching sound, beaming at her. Dara was not impressed. “Ew, saliva. Gross.”

“Let’s sleep here,” he suggested brightly, putting his arms around Dara. He was rolling the both of them around the floor.

Dara wiggled around to escape. “No thanks. You sleep here while I sleep on the comfortable bed.”

“Can I sleep on the bed tonight?” Jiyong suddenly asked.

Dara knew that he must be tired from working intensely lately, and felt guilty that she had not offered for him to go back to sleeping on his bed sooner. Ever since Dara started working on music with him, she’s been taking the spot on his bed while he slept on the couch. It must have been uncomfortable sleeping on the couch for so long. “Of course. It’s your bed anyways. I’ll sleep on the couch then.”

“No, I mean sleeping on the bed with you.” He looked at her earnestly, and Dara felt her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. How on earth should she answer him? Jiyong added, “If it’s not okay, then I’ll continue sleeping on the couch. It’s fine.” If he had been the person he was when he first met Dara, he would have tried every way to be closer to her, physically and mentally, regardless of what Dara thought. It was not exactly love he had for her at the beginning, more of an obsession then. But he had changed since then, and wanted Dara to know that he was trying to respect her opinion and taking it slow, instead of forcing her to accept what he wanted.

“You’re making me sound like a horrible person.” Dara poked his forehead. “Are you trying to make me feel bad so that I’ll agree?”

“Is it working?” Jiyong asked hopefully, batting his eyelashes cutely.

“A little.” Dara got up from the floor, and Jiyong followed her into the bedroom like a loyal puppy to its owner. “I’m taking a shower first.”

“Can I come too?” Jiyong gave her a cheeky smile, and Dara hit him with her towel. His phone rang, and he threw his hands in the air in defeat before getting it from his pocket. “Fine. Not today then.” Dara walked into the closet to get her clothes to sleep in when she heard clearly what Jiyong was saying on his phone. “Chaerin. What’s up?”

Dara began an inner struggle on deciding whether or not to continue listening in to his conversation when knowing that the person on the other end was Chaerin. On one hand, it was wrong, and it was as if she did not trust Jiyong. On the other hand, she cannot get over the insecurity and wariness that Chaerin was someone that held strong feelings towards him. Why did she call him in the middle of the night? She walked into the bathroom, but did not close the door. She was still able to hear Jiyong saying, “Good luck on your debut broadcast tomorrow. I know you’ll be great out there.” There was a silence before he said slowly, “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go. I have dance practice that time. Teddy would be there. Besides, it’s your debut. I don’t want to steal the spotlight by showing up…Yes, I know that Jae Wook would let me reschedule, but…”

Thinking that it’s time she stopped eavesdropping, Dara closed the door without making a noise. She came to the conclusion that Chaerin was asking Jiyong to come support her during her first live broadcast tomorrow. Chaerin had asked her to go after they finished the recording for the new song they worked on, “If I Were You”, but Dara was unable to, because she had already scheduled to work on iKON’s debut album all day tomorrow.

It’s none of my business if he goes or not. This is his decision.  Dara pushed the negative thoughts and images from her head as she stepped into the shower, solely focusing on the warm water soaking her skin and soothing smell of body wash. She refused to mutate into one of those girlfriends that keep their boyfriends on an unreasonably tight leash, using various limitations to tie him to her side.

After she washed up, Jiyong took his turn showering as Dara fumbled through the clothes Danny sent to her. Xin’s launch party was tomorrow night, so she has to decide on her outfit. Aside from a few matching items that Jiyong also received, the rest were dresses with intricate oriental patterns and bright colors. She liked the white one with floral and bird prints, but it was a bit similar to the one she wore to her welcoming party. There was a halter dress the color of bright yellow and magenta with a pouf skirt that resembled a lotus flower, which Dara cringed at. She was grateful for Danny’s gift, especially when seeing that it was a famous and expensive brand, but she does not quite understand fashion the way he does. After much deliberation, she picked the sleeveless animal print dress of gold and black, where the top was leopard-printed and the skirt had tiger stripes. The pattern was rather bold and wild, but it was not too over-the-top for her tastes.

Satisfied, Dara crept onto the bed, and sent a message thanking Danny once again for his generous gift and telling him what she chose to wear tomorrow. Idly checking the music charts, Dara found that “Go Away” was still on top of various charts, which made her swell with pride. She’s curious as to what would happen once G-Dragon’s new mini-album is released along with Chaerin’s debut album. She hasn’t been in a situation where songs she composed for different artists were promoting at the same time, so it would be intriguing to see. All of her songs are precious to her, but the songs she worked on with Jiyong held sweet memories of the time they spent together having fun while making music. They were special in the way that they were something they completed together. Out of curiosity, she went on to search for Hyeongseop’s social media account to see the picture he uploaded. Unlike last time, the one he chose was a group photo that included Yanggaeng and Soon Ho, with a simple caption of “Hanging out”. She laughed silently to herself. Perhaps Hyeongseop could foresee Jiyong’s wrath and had been careful to avoid choosing a picture or caption that would make people misunderstand. However, as she scrolled down the comments, she was taken aback by how many people were talking about her. Fortunately, most were positive, such as “Sandara Park is so gorgeous!” and “YG family all the way”, but it was weird for her to receive so much attention when she did not consider herself famous.

“Hug.” The bed trembled beneath her, and arms s around her waist from behind. Dara subconsciously took a deep breath, taking in the scent of Jiyong fresh from the shower. Placing his chin on her shoulders, Jiyong glanced at the screen of her phone. When he saw that she was browsing Hyeongseop’s account, he grabbed her phone from her hands, arms still trapping her in an embrace. “Why are you looking at another man’s social media account, sweetheart? Was eating out with him not enough?”

“How long are you going to hold a grudge? I was only checking to see which photo he uploaded today.” Dara shrugged.

“I want to upload a picture of you on my account too,” Jiyong grumbled, reaching for his phone on the bedside table.

“On your private account, not your public one, right?” Dara had to make sure that Jiyong would not rashly upload an individual picture of her on his public account that might spark rumors.

“I can do that, but you won’t be able to see it, because you don’t have an account.” Jiyong was silent for a moment before running his hand through his hair in frustration. He knew the importance of keeping their relationship secret, for it was in Dara’s best interest. But he cannot help feeling bitter over it. “This is not fair. Hyeongseop could upload all the pictures of you that he wants, whenever he wants, and I can’t.”

Dara could sense the distress in his voice, and tried to make him feel better. “Fine, I’ll set up an account later so I can follow your private account, okay?”  

“Deal,” Jiyong heartily agreed. “Sleep?”

“Sleep.” Dara yawned, putting their phones away before getting under the blanket. Jiyong got up to turn off the lights, and lay down so that he was facing her. Closing her eyes, she could hear the sound of his steady breathing as he nuzzled her gently with his nose. His hands once again wrapped around her waist to pull her closer to him. She leaned on his chest, the pounding of his heart luring her to sleep.

Sighing in satisfaction, Jiyong planted a soft kiss on her lips before burying his face in her hair. Nothing else should matter, because in this moment he knew that she was here to stay. “Baby, good night.”

“Dara noona, I’m really sorry about uploading your picture on my account,” B.I. apologized sincerely, his eyes not meeting Dara’s. He had been worrying about it, trying to find a time to apologize to Dara in person. It took a while for Dara to realize that he was referring to the picture that was used in the midst of Dara’s scandal.

“I know it’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it,” Dara assured him quickly before continuing her task of looking over the revised rap he wrote. B.I. let out a relieved sigh; he had been so anxious about getting Dara in trouble because of a careless thing he did. He had ran into Jiyong in the hallway of YG headquarters earlier that day, and the latter had advised B.I., with a stern expression on his face, to be careful of his actions as he was now exposed in the public’s eye. Although Jiyong did not specify what he was referring to, B.I. got the impression that he was referring to the pictures he posted that were involved in Dara’s scandal. The younger boy had been terrified, thinking that he had offended the sunbae he idolized as well as the noona he secretly admired. Dara’s response made him feel slightly better.

Bobby was recording another track with Choice37 coaching him through, while the other iKON boys were watching Chaerin’s live performance attentively as they wait for their turns to record. Chaerin’s debut performance for “Go Away” had been successful, and it was time for other performances as the voting went on to vote the number one song of this week. No one dare comment on whether or not Chaerin would receive the award; they were confident in their senior, but she was also up against other much-loved candidates that were much experienced than she was.

Chanwoo whistled lowly in appreciation. “Whoa, Chaerin noona looks like a diva with those sunglasses on!”

“Hey, that’s Bom noona!” Donhyuk shouted. “They’re performing ‘I Am The Best’!”

“Bomratatata tatatatata!” The boys shouted in unison, throwing their hands back and forth in synchronized moves. “Bomratatata tatatatata!”

Bobby, in the middle of recording, was graciously given a break by Choice37, and he ran out to catch a glimpse of the performance, as if his pants were caught on fire. Dara stifled her laughter. She found it adorable how they had memorized the lyrics and dance moves to this song like loyal fans. The eyes of the trainees were transfixed on the screen as Chaerin and Bom appeared onstage with the dancers, their energy dominating the stage. Bom’s powerful vocals paired with Chaerin’s authoritative air demanded the audience’s attention, not giving them a chance to look elsewhere. She could feel the delirious vigor of the performance even though she was not there to experience it in person.

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