Credits go to hungry- (from  affamé graphic shop), for this amazing poster.

[ Thirty Eight. Still Alive ]

Resting on the set of filming the music video, Jiyong turned his phone in his hands, hesitant on what he should do next. He was positive that if he sees any more articles cheering on the lovely Darahae pairing, he would have an even harder time on the set. It was already difficult concentrating on work without Dara there with him. He sighed. Perhaps he should be more straight-forward with Dara, telling her once and for all that he is still hopelessly in love with her. He wanted to, but at the same time he fears of scaring her off when it had taken so much for her to come back to Korea and be closer to him. And what if she was truly in love with Lee Donghae now? Would he be willing to tear them apart to fulfill his desire to be with her? Was that what he wanted? He had been rethinking about his previous relationship with Dara, and realized that what he did from when he met her for the first time to when she agreed to be together with him was actually slightly shameful. Knowing that Dara was extremely vexed and bothered by his irritating tricks and endless stalking ways, he continued on pursuing her because he was selfish in wanting her for himself. He was not considerate of how she felt about him or whether or not what he did was going against her will. Although they did get to be together at the end, was it truly love when he spent half of the time forcing her to be with him? Was it worth it? His feelings were a million contradictions with no hope of sorting itself out.

“I think you should go back to the company.” His manager, Soon Ho, said lowly, putting a hand on Jiyong’s shoulder. He made sure to stay out of earshot of other staff members, the director, and back-up dancers.

“What are you talking about?” Jiyong raised his eyebrow at him. “I started filming this morning. How can I leave when I haven’t even finished the work scheduled to be done today?”

“I heard that Tablo hyung’s about to hold a meeting with Dara and other staff members on how to deal with her scandal. It’s gotten serious to the point that YG’s stocks are crashing and fans are acting chaotic.”

“You have got to be kidding. Pictures of her and Lee Donghae dining together can count as a scandal?” Jiyong scoffed. “You mean her fans or Lee Donghae’s fans got angry?”

“Not that, I’m talking about the new articles that came out this morning about Dara being linked to you, Seunghyun, and other YG trainees, on top of being spotted with Lee Donghae. Well, I don’t need to say much for you to understand how hectic it’s getting.” Soon Ho nodded gravely when Jiyong stared at him in shock. “Your fans, Choi Seunghyun’s fans, and the fans of the soon-to-debut YG trainees are going crazy. They practically blocked the entrance around YG headquarters, demanding for Dara to be kicked out of YG. Not to mention those netizens that love to get a kick out of anything smelling scandalous. The media are spreading nonsense, but the thing is that they have an audience for it. It is no doubt going to be a tough day for Dara.”

Standing up without further hesitation, Jiyong hurriedly grabbed his jacket and belonging. He didn’t care that he had on the make-up and outfit for the MV, nor did it cross his mind that he was in the middle of preparing for a very rushed comeback. All that was on his mind was that Dara was going through a bad day, and he wanted to be there to support her through it. “I’m leaving. Come up with some excuse to cover for me.”

Everything became a blur as he sped in his car to reach YG building. Fans yelled in anticipation, crowding around his car the moment they spotted his car arriving at the YG building. It did not escape his eyes that some of them held signs that said, “Get the hell out of YG, Sandara Park!” and other offensive words that made Jiyong’s blood boil at the sight of them being used to call Dara. Security guards came out to make way for him to drive through safely, and without wasting further time, he sprinted into the building and headed to Tablo’s office. Upon reaching it, he flung the door open in a rush. Everyone in the room turned their eyes to him questioningly, but he only noticed Dara’s petite figure slumping at her seat, her eyes dispirited. It killed him to see her this way. He hasn’t read anything related to the scandal, but he has an idea of how badly they can get. To think that Dara was on the receiving end of it made his heart ache for her.

Tablo, not surprised to see him at all, gestured for him to sit in the seat beside him. “Jiyong. We are in the middle of a meeting, but you are welcomed to join us. Sit down.”

Hearing Tablo addressing Jiyong, Dara looked up in surprise. Jiyong was catching his breath, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead as he took the seat across from her. He was dressed in a tan suede jacket and light denim shorts, with some feather earrings dangling from his ears. He had a floral neckerchief tied to his hands as well as multiple beaded and leather bracelets. There was no doubt that he had rushed there from the set of shooting his music video. Dara’s sinking heart suddenly felt hope, and clung hopelessly onto it. Did he come here as soon as he heard about the scandal, to be there for her when she needed him? She felt relieved and guilty towards him at the same time.

“Let us continue. You were saying, Dara?” Tablo turned his head to Dara.

Dara felt everyone, including Jiyong’s, eyes on her. She had lost her previous trail of thought, and tried to pull herself together. “I was saying, maybe I should leave for the time being. I’ve seen how angry the crowd is like, and I think seeing me appear at the company would only fuel their anger. Maybe I should take a temporary break, so that they would think I’m reflecting on my actions?” She has not been in the industry for long, but she has seen enough to observe the way things work around the circle of entertainment business. The public response is everything. It affects the income, stocks and reputation of the company, which is built on the willingness of fans to accept and support it. If she was the cause for the loss of some support, she would be guilty of costing the company more things than she can afford to pay.

“That seems like a good idea.” Some people nodded in agreement.

“But she didn’t do anything wrong!” Jiyong said fiercely, sending murderous glares at those that had agreed with Dara’s suggestion. “Dara, I don’t know how things were done at the previous places you stayed at, but we don’t turn our backs on anyone around here. We are family. We don’t bow down to the unreasonable demands of the crowd.” The people who had previously showed their support for Dara to leave temporarily hung their heads in embarrassment at these words. “You did not do anything wrong, so there is no reason for you to disappear to reflect on actions that they don’t like.”

“But it will affect your comeback as well -“ Dara argued, but was interrupted by Jiyong.

“When are you going to stop thinking about other people and start thinking for yourself?” His words, seeming to hint at a similar dilemma in the past, muted Dara completely. She wondered if he was referring to why she left years ago. She wanted to explain to him that she was not someone that was considerate about others. She is only somewhat selfless when those other people include people she truly cared about, like Byul and Jiyong. It was weird, however, to bring this up while there were other people in the room, especially when the main task at hand was on how to deal with this scandal.

Tablo cleared his throat after minutes of silence. “Well? Anyone else like to say anything?” When no one dared to speak up, Tablo turned to Jiyong. “I’m taking it that it is okay for you to have Dara around while going ahead with your scheduled comeback?” Jiyong nodded without missing a beat. “Good. Then that is finalized. Dara will continue to take part in the preparations for Jiyong’s comeback, and we’ll release the official statement today. We can push Chaerin’s comeback to this week, and see if the scandal has died down by then.” The meeting came to an end, and everyone walked out of the office to their respective offices except for Dara and Jiyong, who stood in the hallway.

“Are you going back to the set for your music video?” Dara asked.

“Only if you’re coming with me. Ride or die, remember?” Jiyong smiled teasingly, trying to lighten up the tense atmosphere. He could tell that by Dara’s troubled eyes that the scandal was still bothering her.

Dara laughed nervously. It was touching and brave of Jiyong to stand up for her, but she was afraid of creating unnecessary trouble for him. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” She suddenly thought of her phone call with Bom earlier this morning, slapping her forehead for not remembering sooner. “I have to go find Bom. She completely misunderstood, thinking that something is really going on between Seunghyun and me.”

“I think she’ll be practicing in the dance studio downstairs with Chaerin today,” Jiyong told her, and they headed in the direction of the elevator. “Chaerin’s debut performance is soon, so that means Bom will also be preparing for their collaboration, ‘I Am The Best’.”

On the way to the dance studio, Dara felt uncharacteristically uneasy and anxious, not sure how to face Bom. She had assumed that it went without saying that their friendship was above anything. When Bom said those words doubting her, without giving her the chance to explain herself, broke Dara’s heart into two. Dara was hurt that Bom had believed that she would betray her, which she would never do in a million years. It did not matter much what other people w