Credits go to hungry- (from  affamé graphic shop), for this amazing poster.

[ Thirty Five. Envy (Part I) ]

By the time Dara arrived at YG headquarters, it was nearly two in the afternoon. She had been so tired that she fell asleep before her head hit the pillow. When she woke up in the afternoon and saw Jiyong fast asleep on the sofa, she crept out of the apartment without waking him to head to work. Although Jiyong left a post-it note on the door saying how Teddy said it was okay if Dara took a day off, Dara would rather go work her heart out at YG than stay at Jiyong’s place alone with him. The prospect was too frightening. Jiyong was too unpredictable, and Dara was going out of her mind guessing what he has in mind for her. The sun was shining brightly, so Dara took off the red leather jacket she had been wearing as she made her way through the crowd of fans outside. Before she made her way to the security, a hand tapped her shoulder and she turned around to face a fresh-faced girl wearing a high school uniform.

“Excuse me. Who are you?” The girl inquired, causing Dara to look at her blankly. Wasn’t it supposed to her that should ask that question? There were about five to seven girls behind her wearing matching uniforms, all looking her up and down as if evaluating her. Dara suppose they were classmates, looking at them warily. She made sure to keep her distance away from most fans of the celebrities she work with. Nothing was scarier than fandoms. She knew this from first-hand experience when she went to a Bigbang concert some years ago in L.A., when multiple fans of the same fandom fought over one water bottle that one of the members threw carelessly into the crowd. They were still cat-fighting over it when Dara left the concert stadium.

One of them, who was wearing pink glittery eyeshadow, spoke up. “Unni, we don’t mean to be rude. We saw you around YG a lot lately, and wanted to know if you are a trainee that is going to debut soon.”

“No, I’m just a songwriter that started to work here,” Dara replied.

The girls squealed in excitement. “Oh really, unni!? We’re so jealous of you! You have the best job in the world!”

“Does that mean you work with B.I.? And Bobby? Can you pretty please work hard on their album with them?” The girl who had tapped Dara’s shoulders begged. “We’ve been waiting for their debut for the longest time! But Mr. Tablo won’t let them debut, and we’re so sad about that!”

“I’ll try my best.” Dara gave them a small smile, about to turn around to leave when another girl stopped her.

“Unni, can I take a picture with you?” She said shyly, unable to make eye contact with Dara. “I think you are really pretty…But it is okay if you don’t want to though…”

“Sure.” What was the harm? Although Dara was uncomfortable around strangers, she decided to accept the request. The girls were ecstatic, and fought among themselves to take turns taking selfies with her. Seeing this, the other people in the crowd also started asking for autographs and pictures from this pretty stranger. Fortunately for Dara, the security guards stepped in before things got out of hand and told them politely that it was time for Dara to leave. Dara was grateful for their help as she had no idea how she would be able to refuse their requests without seeming rude.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Dara had on a goofy smile when entering the main hallway. She cannot believe that there would be a day when she was surrounded by fans of other people asking for her signature and picture, and not by her own fans. That was extremely bizarre. Perhaps it was one of the weird treatments for working in a company known for producing global powerhouses.

“Somebody’s in a good mood today.”

Whirling around, Dara found Seunghyun a few steps behind her. “Seunghyun.”

“You arrived later than usual. How is Jiyong’s album by the way?” He followed her to the elevator. They did not see Bom and Chaerin, surrounded by their crew of make-up artists, managers, and stylists were slowly approaching them from the other side of the hallway. It had been decided by Tablo that Bom would be featuring on Chaerin’s “I Am the Best”, warming up for Bom’s upcoming album and attracting attention to Chaerin’s debut album, so the two singers were hurrying to shoot the promotional teaser and music video.

Bom saw the two, stopping in her tracks. Ever since she eavesdropped on their conversation, she had acted distant towards Seunghyun, desperately wanting to draw his attention to reassure herself that her insecurity was unneeded. But he did not notice her change of attitude; instead, he thought it was due to her busy schedule, and wished her luck on the upcoming comeback. Chaerin, who was walking beside Bom, paused when she did, and looked at the same direction Bom was staring at and saw Seunghyun and Dara entering the same elevator just in time. The look of incredulity and hurt on Bom’s face was not lost on Chaerin. She suddenly recalled that during their days in university, there had been rumors of Seunghyun and Dara dating although Chaerin knew that Jiyong had made sure that he was the one Dara ended up with and Dara did not view Seunghyun for anything other than a friend. Still, Seunghyun’s feeling towards Dara was a mystery. Bom and Seunghyun were secretly dating, and Dara came back in the picture. Things got interesting. I can use this to my advantage.

In the elevator, Dara pressed to go to the floor of the recording studios while Seunghyun was going to the gym to work out. “How did you know I was working on Jiyong’s album? Does news around YG travel that fast?”

“Was it supposed to be kept secret? If so, then Jiyong is doing a horrible job of it.” Scratching his head awkwardly at Dara’s confused expression, Seunghyun took out his phone to show her a picture on a social networking site. It was a black and white picture of someone’s long wavy hair, seeming to be a girl’s, spread out on a pillow. It was cropped perfectly so that there was no hint of who the person was except for an earlobe and the hair. It looked familiar to Dara, but she couldn’t identify who that person is. The caption below made Dara’s eyes grew big with bewilderment.

Another all-nighter working on the mini-album. At least I’m not alone now. #whoyou #sweetheart

That person in the picture was no other than her. Jiyong, no doubt, took the picture after she fell asleep that morning.

“Don’t worry. It’s his private account, not the official one that everyone can see.” Seunghyun explained quickly when seeing the alarmed look at Dara’s face. “I saw this today, and thought it might be you since he mentioned that he would be working on his upcoming mini-album with you.” Hesitantly, Seunghyun tried to get more information out of Dara. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you two…?”

“We’re not,” Dara replied rather weakly. “Who can see this post anyway?”

Seunghyun looked at his phone before answering. “About fifty of Jiyong’s closest friends? For example, Teddy, Choice37, Bom, Chaerin, Seungri, and I…mainly people working at YG. Don’t worry, Sandara. It’s not something that would spread to the media. We are all very careful about things like this.” Seunghyun had misunderstood Dara’s reaction, thinking that she was worrying about this appearing on the headlines of every entertainment-related news when in reality she was mortified that Jiyong was making it seem as if they were more intimate than they should be. Oh my god. That nuisance! Dara would give anything to find out what was going on in that devious mind of his.

“Talk to you later, Seunghyun.” Dara walked out when the elevator arrived at her floor, and Seunghyun watched her retreating back in concern. He could tell that Jiyong still cares deeply about Dara, and Dara definitely does too. What’s keeping them apart from each other? He checked his phone idly. No phone calls or messages from Bom. It was the first time she did not contact him for such a long time, and he felt strange like a part of his routine was missing. Usually she would be the one sharing with him about every detail of what was going on with her schedule and work. Seunghyun sighed heavily, chiding himself for feeling unreasonably neglected and needy when he should respect Bom’s space and not bother her when she’s busy working. He has seen for himself the way Donghae interferes with Dara’s work back when they both worked at SM, and he had sworn that he would never be like that.

“Dara noona! You’re finally here!” Dara opened the door to Choice37’s studio, and was nearly scared out of her wits when Junhoe from iKON immediately skipped to her side, clinging onto her arm like a koala bear. Choice37 was nowhere in sight, and Dara guessed that he was working with the other group of trainees to record other songs. She felt guilty for arriving late. Choice37 must be rushing between the two studios to accommodate two groups at the same time.

“We finished recording ‘Rhythm Ta’ and ‘Anthem’! Can we start writing other songs now that you’re here?” Donhyuk pouted cutely, batting his eyes at Dara.

“Sure.” Dara felt a bit lightheaded from what Seunghyun showed her as she sat down to face the expectant faces of the trainees. Concentrate! You’re working in the company now. Forget about Kwon Jiyong! Shaking other thoughts from her head, Dara focused on the boys in front of her. “Any ideas?”

“I composed a basic track. Noona, is it okay if you take a listen to it?” B.I. asked politely, earning Dara’s nod. As B.I. play the track, Dara spaced out, thinking about the caption on the picture Jiyong posted. At least I’m not alone now. For some reason, her heart ached slightly.

“Noona? Noona?” Dara pulled out of her reverie to find B.I. calling her, long after the track had ended. “Is it not good enough to make the cut? You can tell it to me straight. I can work on another one if you want.”

“I think this one is good. Did any of you think of the lyrics?” Dara asked briskly, mentally hitting herself from being so unprofessional inside the studio. The boys looked among themselves nervously. The answer was obviously a no. They had been so caught up with their vocal and dancing training that they stopped composing for the time being. Dara understood at once, and tried to give them some ideas. “What about a song for your fans?”

“For our fans?” Bobby asked incredulously. “You mean a thank-you song?”

“Yes and no. What I had in mind was things you want to convey to your fans after the long wait for your official debut.” Dara was reminded of the fan girls she encountered today. “They had been patiently waiting for you guys. That must mean something, right? Don’t any of you have anything to tell them?”

“Oh! That’s a good idea!” B.I. nodded vigorously. “Thanking them for welcoming us back with open arms after waiting for such a long time.” He gave Bobby a high five.

The other boys start hooting, “Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back”.  

The door opened, and Mino, a trainee from the other group called Winner, poked his head inside. “Dara noona, can we borrow you for a moment? Please? We recorded the hook for ‘Sentimental’ again like you told us to.”

“No, she’s ours!” Chanwoo argued hotly, sticking out his tongue at the intruder.

“Too bad, squirt. Choice37 hyung told me to get noona since we’re already wrapping up two songs,” Mino bragged. “Besides, we’re older!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there.” Dara got up to leave, but the sleeves of her shirt was tugged by Jinhwan and Yunhyeong.

“No, noona. Don’t leave us!” They cried in unison.

Mino tried to pry their hands off Dara. “Noona is ours! Give her back!” The door opened to reveal the other Winner boys, and soon the two soon-to-debut idol groups started bickering loudly at the top of their lungs while playing tug-of-war with Dara.

Once again, Dara found herself pressing on the doorbell of Jiyong’s apartment. She had a long day at work, running back and forth between the two groups of trainees who were fighting for her time and attention. As exhausting as the task was, she was proud that Bobby and B.I. had finished the rap and most of the lyrics to their new song, “Welcome Back”, with her help and that Winner’s songs were almost completely finished. Choice37 had ordered pizza, and all of them enjoyed it after working so hard. To Dara’s amusement, even during the break, the two groups of boys were still fighting among themselves, clamoring to talk to her. She enjoyed the chance to be with them, and by the time they were willing to let her go, it was almost ten thirty at night.

The second Jiyong opened the door, Dara knew that it was not going to an easy night for her.

“Do you know what time it is?” Jiyong thundered, scowling at her. If he had been upset when he woke up to find Dara had left without telling him, he was downright fuming waiting for her to come home. “Why didn’t you call? Do you know how worried I was? I was waiting for you!”

“I lost my phone, remember?” Dara reminded him as she walked past him and into the kitchen. After pouring a glass of water for herself, she sneaked a peek at Jiyong, who was silenced by her answer temporarily before finding other questions to pester her with.

“Why were you so late? Did you eat dinner yet? I made pad thai tonight, but it’s cold now.” Jiyong’s mouth twi