Credits go to kurogane, for this amazing poster.

[ Seventeen. Feeling ]

“I know perfectly well I shouldn’t be asking,” Bom began, earning a raised eyebrow from Dara and giggles from Minzy. The three of them were having lunch by the lakeside of their university on a sunny day, enjoying the warmth and loveliness of the weather. After returning to their regular campus life, Dara realized that, except for the mourning in the hearts of those who were close to him, nothing’s really changed after Youngbae’s death. The bell still rang, signaling for classes that still went on as usual. The loud booming voice of professors still set out to give out impossible homework and tasks for them, earning the resigned groans of students. The laughter and chatty noises of students could still be heard all around campus. Life still went on. Although it was tough for Dara to return to her previous routine, she could feel herself getting back up on her feet again. Still, she thinks of Youngbae almost every day, but now in a happier perspective, knowing that he will always be in her heart.

“Bom, you’re going to ask anyways, so there’s really no point in saying that,” Minzy sniggered, picking up a granola bar. Dara nodded her head in agreement, smiling to herself at Bom’s cuteness. Bom was never someone to hold back her questions or opinion, even when she wanted to.

Bom shrugged good-naturedly. “Oh fine, oh fine. I just thought it would sound nicer if I added that. But really,” she leaned in towards the other two girls, zooming her eyes on Dara like a hawk after its prey, “I’ve been absolutely dying to ask, what is the deal with you and Jiyong?” Upon hearing this, Minzy’s eyes also focused on Dara’s face, equally curious as Bom on this matter.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Dara said casually, sipping her orange juice, which was almost knocked out of her hands when Bom slapped her hard on the arm. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“I may be stupid, but I’m not blind, Sandara Park!” Bom screeched. “Come on, he has been tagging after you for ages, you guys live under the same roof, and he’s been taking care of you for eternity. He’s either crazy for you or just plain-out crazy! You guys spend every minute of daylight together, for crying out loud! When are you two lovebirds going to be together?”

“Bom, it’s not like that. We’re best friends that are super-tight, that’s all.” Dara insisted. Now that they had become friends again, it was true that she was spending more time with Jiyong than ever. They went to the same school and lived under the same roof, but what was more was that they have always had so much in common. Dara admitted that she enjoys Jiyong’s company, especially how he knows her more than most people around her. She does not have to pretend or hide anything when she’s in front of Jiyong, so it is reasonable for her to want to spend time with him. He is also the great best friend that she can do anything with, include shopping, studying, and even watching late-night movies with. Dara thought that Jiyong was like Youngbae’s replacement, in a sense, because she used to be able to pour her heart out to Youngbae. Now that Youngbae’s gone, Jiyong was the next-in-line best friend. But, true to Bom’s suspicion, Dara could feel her previous feelings of distain and annoyance towards Jiyong ebbing away, to be replaced by something utterly unfamiliar. She cannot imagine her life without Jiyong; the thought was horrifying and painful just by the thought of it. However, it was not the same when she imagined the same happening to Bom, Minzy, Seunghyun or any of her other good friends.

“Yeah, yeah, like I would believe that, Sandara Park.” Bom folded her arms, squinting in what she thought was a fearful way. “You might feel that way about him, but he definitely does not feel the same way.”

“I agree,” Minzy chimed in. “He behaves differently than when he first started following you to classes, but he still looks at you the same way.” Dara simply laughed it off, shaking her head in disagreement as she popped a seedless grape into . Best friends as they are, as much as Dara trusts them, she could not afford to give them answers when she cannot even come up with an explanation for her odd feelings towards Jiyong. It would only make them blow it even more out of proportion, which would only make matters more complicated for her. If Dara lets herself explore the answers to “What’s going on between Jiyong and I?” or “What are these feelings that I feel for him? Friendship? Fondness? Or is it l-“, then she will have to thresh over all the endless consequences of these feelings’ existence. What are people at school going to think? More importantly, what is Byul and Dongwook going to react? Throw them out of the house? Scream and throw things in rage? It was like her ordeal with Jiyong before Youngbae’s death, except this time, she acknowledge her feelings were something, but was trying desperately to stall for time.

“Are you fr