Credits go to kurogane, for this amazing poster.

[Fifteen. Anywhere But Here]

It was by far the most awkward car ride Dara had experienced. Even the usually good-natured Byul and oblivious Dongwook had a hard time maintaining a non-existent good atmosphere and conversation with the stony silence of the backseat. She did not get what was the point of having this family trip when they seem like anything but a family. Dara knew that Byul had wanted this because that was what families do; taking long road trips with cheerful games and enjoying spending time together. At least...in the movies. However, it could not have come out at a worse time. There was a time when she thought innocently that they could be like a perfect family, when she had gotten along so well with Jiyong during the preparation for the Masterpiece of the Year, and he was nothing but a cute little brother to her. It was impossible. Foolish of her to have assumed that she could’ve gotten things her way and ignored Jiyong’s obvious affection for her.

As much as Dara wanted to please Byul, even God himself could not transform this into something out of a Disney movie. Jiyong was blasting music from his earphones, clearly not interested in taking part in the conversation. Just as well. It was only the beginning of their family trip, and already Dara feels uncomfortable. Maybe it is better for all of them and the peace of the world that Jiyong is silent...for now. His previous attacks of wrath and sarcasm were purposely intended for her.

Attack One:

“Can I sit in the third row?” was the first thing Dara asked as they were getting in the car in the morning. She did not want to sit too close to Jiyong. Dara was never the type to be afraid or awkward of anything, but that is clearly what was happening. There was no predicting what Jiyong can do, and Dara was cautious. There was no predicting what she, herself, would do either.

Even though the rational part of Dara had convinced her over a million times how she was being mature and doing the best thing for the family, she had sobbed miserably yesterday, in deep pain she had not experienced before. It was like losing something she treasured deeply, tearing her apart. The more she wanted to stop, the more upset she become, and the harder she cried. This morning, she woke up horrified, staring at her reflection in the mirror. A stranger with pink puffy eyes stared mournfully back at her. Because of Jiyong. Hard time as she had believing it, Jiyong had a strong influence over her.

“Honey, we have way too much luggage to put the third row up,” Byul reasoned when the truth was that she hoped Dara would be able to calm Jiyong. For Byul, it was painful to have Dongwook worrying in silence over how Jiyong is, yet cannot pull down his pride to have a fatherly talk with him. Then something happened to Jiyong that made him mad even at the closest person he has in the family: Dara. Byul often wondered if the reason for Jiyong’s rebellion has anything to do with the sudden marriage between her and Dongwook. Even though time has passed and Byul assume that she gets along well with her step-son, she still feels as if she had wronged Jiyong, especially when he was so against the marriage from the beginning. Perhaps the only reason Jiyong put up with it was because a part of him really love his father, Byul guessed. It made her immensely sad that Jiyong was acting like this, since she saw him like her own son. It hurt her so much.

“Why would you want to sit alone, noona?” Jiyong drawled, raising his eyebrows. He was wearing huge sunglasses as if he’s a superstar, with laid-back white tee and ripped jeans. Dara was not sure if it was his intention, but she felt even more distant from him. It was like she didn’t know this monster at all. The monster she helped create. “Don’t you want to sit with your adorable dongsaeng?”

“I-Oh, fine.” Dara did not want to give up easily, but she could not lose her temper with Jiyong. Half was because she was still guilty for the way she treated him, the other half was because it was a family trip. Jiyong was like a bomb, ready to be set off any second, and she had to stall for as long as she could. Dongwook and Byul were present, and they definitely did not want to see Jiyong at his worst. As far as they were concerned, this was worst. But Dara knew that Jiyong could do much more damage than this.

Too bad Jiyong did not appreciate the sentiment at all. “Why do you sound annoyed, noona? Am I testing your patience again?”

“Drop it, Kwon,” Dara commanded through gritted teeth as she climbed into the car, followed by Jiyong. Fastening her seatbelt with trembling hands, Dara breathed in and out to keep herself from clawing at Jiyong’s taunting face. She was not going to be angered. She simply can’t. The strange thing was, she felt anger and heartbreak at the same time. What was happening to her?

Jiyong pouted. “Byul, noona’s calling me ‘Kwon’ again. Noona does not want to be close to me.”

Byul frowned, turning around in the passenger seat to reprimand Dara on how Dara should make Jiyong feel more welcomed and loved by using his first name. Argh. It was the most meaningless thing Byul had ever nagged about, and Jiyong’s smug face was not helping her cool down.

Attack Two.

“Noona, I feel carsick. I want to lie down, and put my head on your lap.” Dara’s eyes bulged with surprise, not to mention uneasiness when she caught Dongwook’s surprised expression in the rearview mirror. Such a wrong move on Jiyong’s part. No matter what a good noona-dongsaeng relationship they seemed to have, it was really easily to be misunderstood.

“If you’re carsick, puke,” she muttered, glaring at him in a way that meant somewhere along the lines of “Careful-you-brat-you-don’t-want-to-go-any-further-or-I’ll-promise-you-a-painful-death”.

“Byul, noona won’t take care of me-“

“Dara.” Byul sounded tired. After all, who wouldn’t when two of your children were bickering about the smallest things during the entire car ride?

“If he’s so carsick, then he can just sleep! Why does he have to lie on my lap?!” Dara exclaimed. “Does he think my lap has magical powers to heal carsickness?!”

“He has a name.” Jiyong reminded.

“Kwon, just sleep and it’ll go away!”

“I want noona to take care of me. What’s wrong with that? I thought noonas were supposed to take care of their dongsaengs. Or else, why would I want a noona?”

“You sound perfectly fine, Kwon. It seems as if you’re not carsick anymore.” Dara shot back.

“You’re using my surname again, noona.”

They have finally reached their destination, much to Dara’s relief. It was, as expected of Dongwook’s high-classed income and lifestyle, at an exclusive resort by the seaside. It did not escape her eyes that Byul’s eyes sparkled as if seeing the world for the first time, thirstily drinking in the marvelous scenery around her as the three of them wait in the glamorous lobby for Dongwook to check in. There were so many good things that Byul was able to enjoy after her marriage, convincing Dara that it was the right decision. Before, Byul had to support both of them economically, worry about how to spend her next paycheck (mainly on Dara), and work in the most exhausting hours of day. But now, being married with Dongwook brought many benefits, including getting to stay at expensive hotels, wearing nice clothes, and enjoying all the luxuries in life without having to spend a cent. More than anything, Byul had someone to shower her with affection and pamper her shamelessly.

“I’ve booked two suites, one for Byul and me”-Dongwook glanced briefly but no less lovingly at his wife-“and one for you two.” What? Dara had a hard time keeping her jaw from dropping. I have to stay in the same room as Jiyong?! Her expression must have gotten the message across, because Dongwook quickly added, “Only if it is okay with you, Sandara.”

“Of course it’s okay with her. It’s not like she’s going to want to squeeze between you two lovebirds at night,” Jiyong drawled, voice dripping with sarcasm. Of course it’s ok with me, Dara mentally face-palmed herself. Of course I wanted to spend the entire family vacation with the insufferable existence of my step-cousin who happened to hate my guts because I rejected his undying love for me.  But Jiyong made a point as well; she would never, like what Jiyong said, share the suite with the newlyweds. Argh. Dara shuddered subconsciously at the thought, wrapped her arms around herself tighter. The thought of it made her want to puke. If she told Dongwook she wasn’t okay with the sleeping arrangements with Jiyong, chances are that Dongwook will request for two separate rooms, which would cost Dongwook more money and hurt Byul’s feelings. No, she will not do that. Hesitantly, she nodded silently to let Dongwook know she was okay with it.

“Here are the key-cards to the suite,” Dongwook handed one to Jiyong and the other to Dara. In bold and elegant cursive writing, the words Sauvignon Blanc Suite crawled across the shiny surface of the card. It must be the name of some expensive wine, Dara thought. The world of the wealthy was definitely not something everyone could relate to. For a brief moment, Dara thought she saw something like anxiety in Dongwook’s usually calm and reserved eyes when she looked up after observing the card, but it disappeared so quickly that she had trouble believing her eyes. “Our baggage has already been sent to our suites. We have the entire weekend here, so you can enjoy everything they have to offer here. They have swimming pools, spa centers, bars, shopping malls...anything you can ask for here. Bill everything under my name-“

“Yeah yeah, I get that, old man.” Sounding bored, Jiyong interrupted Dongwook. It was routine for him to bill everything under Dongwook’s account even though Jiyong’s bank account and card was more than enough to provide everything he needed. He wasn’t like this before; he used to pride himself in working at YG Club for enough money to support his spending. He had planned to stay financially independent since junior high school. Ever since his birthday and that disaster involving Dara, he stopped getting any pay when he turned into a wasted monster at work. The only luxury in being Choi Dongwook’s son: having endless money to throw in every possible direction without having to feel guilty about it. Suddenly he lost all his ambition and dreams, the world turning to an ongoing black hole that had ate him up whole. Music means nothing to him. Nothing means anything to him anymore.

“It’s very nice of you, Dongwook. Thank you,” Dara hastily said.

“Then we’ll be going our separate ways. We’ll meet up together at the restaurant at the beach at seven o’clock.” Dongwook gave Dara a small smile, as if to thank her for her efforts to stop Jiyong’s words from hurting his feelings, then walked down the hallway with Byul, who sent them air kisses.

“Behave, Jiyongie, Dee!” Dara could only manage a weak smile at Byul as she was left in the lobby with Jiyong. Without even telling her where he was going (which Dara assumed was the suite), Jiyong stalked off in the opposite direction, not even glancing back to check if she was following him or not.

“Yeah, keep on being the ultimate ,” Dara muttered, glaring at Jiyong’s back. Unfortunately, Jiyong heard every syllable.

“How am I an ?” Jiyong retorted angrily, with Dara following him unwillingly. Truth was, he knew it perfectly well how much of a jerk he had turned into when he met Dara. It was as if he was unable to control himself anymore, doing everything out of reflex to pull her closer to him until he was suffocating her. I was suffocating her. She deserves someone much better than this. Feeling furious at her, at himself, fire was burning up inside of him, threatening to spit out toxic fumes any moment. Fumbling with the pockets of his tight ripped jeans, Jiyong took out a lighter and cigarette. “If I remember correctly, I was the hormone-crazy step-cousin of the almighty Sandara Park who goes overboard.” They stepped in the elevator, and Jiyong lit his cigarette, taking a big puff. He needed this. The only things keeping him alive were smoking and alcohol. It used to be Dara, a small voice reminded him, breaking his heart more severely than before. It had used to be all about Dara.

When did he started smoking? Dara hated smokers and second-hand smoking, but she did not dare to say a word. It would be foolish of her to anger Jiyong further; she had already done enough damage. More than anything, she does not want to hear from his own mouth that she was the reason for his downfall, his corruption. It was already difficult for her to accept this new Jiyong as it is. Throughout the entire elevator ride, they remain in silence, with Jiyong smoking hard as if his life depended on it and Dara getting uncomfortable with every minute breathing in the second-hand smoke. The moment the elevator door opened once again, she staggered out, bending over and nearly tumbling to the carpeted floor, coughing hard as her body tried to reject the deadly substance from her lungs. In between coughs, she gasped t