a/n: HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOO!! :D I'm back! It's been ages! Please don't kill me, it's been years! haha ! I've been soooo busy catching up with life, no time to breathe and to write! Aigoo. 

Hope everyone's doing well! And enjoy this update. :)

**AS usual, not proofread. please excuse my typographical errors and grammatical errors. ;)

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I can't believe after 2 years, I'm still writing about him. It's been two freakin' years. I never went back to Seoul. And although he didn't even try to reach out to me, I guess I could say I'm thankful he didn't. God knows what I could have done if he did.

Now, I'm a resident in one of the most prestigious hospitals in Ontario. But I still think of him sometimes. I can say I've move on already. I'm happier and like my friends say, I'm always laughing and smiling without forcing myself.

A lot has happened in the last 2 years. I've dated a few guys, I've went on a volunteer program in the remote area of Africa. Kris was no longer part of EXO. He came home a year ago and we met up, telling everything. He knew I didn't want to hear anything about Joonmyun, but that was the time that he needed me, so I needed to bear with hearing Joonmyun's name. Kris needed a friend that time.

And now, I'm in a almost, sort-of or unspoken relationship with a senior resident I've met in the hospital. He's handsome, patient and most attentive especially to me. I don't know if I love him enough, but he's unknowingly helping me move on from Joonmyun. I know that I like him enough.

But now that he's asked me to come back home with him to South Korea to meet his parents, I can't simply just ignore that gnawing feeling that I might see Joonmyun again. It's not excited. I would say I'm kinda dreading it.

"Are you okay?" Joong ki asked for the nth time. I forced a smile and nod.

He squeezed my hand and kissed it. He knows about Joonmyun. Joongki, who has a lot more experienced than me, probably can see through me.

"Don't worry. I won't let go of your hand. Not until you want me to." He told me, smiling gently.

"Thank you." I whispered and squeezed back.

During my whole 2 years in Canada, I've checked EXO only 3 times. One was during the 1st week. Second was during the start of my 2nd year in Canada, I was kind of 'testing waters' to see if the same kind of hurt would slam me back upon seeing Joonmyun's face. And 3rd was probably a month ago, when a colleague was wailing comically, claiming that f(x)'s Krystal and Kai admitted that they were dating already.

Song Joongki, the senior resident, was nothing like Joonmyun. In fact, he's everything Joonmyun isn't.

But still, I kind of feel ashamed that I'm latching on to him, while still thinking about the latter.

He kissed my forehead as I tried to clear my mind off Joonmyun.

You're back to meet Joongki's family. Not to reminisce old relationships. He hurt you remember.

~

Without you knowing, Joonmyun had always been following your social media. After you've left, you're constantly on his mind. It's true that you'll never know what you have until you lose it.

At that time, he was still seeing and dating Krystal, but he was always distracted. Half of his mind was still with you. Until eventually, Krystal lost interest on him, yet again. And this time, Joonmyun didn't care anymore.

It was also during the time that more members were leaving. It seems like everyone close to him was always leaving. They didn't get to talk at all, him and Kris. He never got to ask nor apologize to his  co-leader for whatever pain he had caused you.

But now, he saw that you've updated your Instagram, and that you've just landed on Incheon Airport. Joonmyun has no idea what you were doing here, nor where you're staying.

Based on a few of your Instagram posts, he knew that you must have met someone else. But there's no one to confirm his belief. You never post Joongki's face on your Instagram.

There was only 2 or 3 posts that he was on it. One was during the mock neuro-surgery class that was held on the hospital. Second was during your birthday. He had surprised you with that cheesy but cute humongous teddy bear and a huge bouquet after your 42 hours shift. You were hugging that life sized bear and laughing despite looking all haggard from triple shift that you took. And third, the couple shoe selfie you took while on a flight transfer from Hongkong to Incheon.

Joonmyun was no fangirl or rather -boy, he has no way knowing how to stalk someone. So he was in a bit of despair.

He thought of the younger ones. They were closer with you, but he didn't know whether he's still allowed to ask about you. They all know how much of a douche he was to you.

But he can try.

"Sehun-ah?" He called the maknae who was busy playing with his iPad.

"Hm?" Sehun answered without pausing his game.

"Do you still remember..."

Sehun turned to look at his hyung upon hearing your name. The other members present in the room also stopped what they were doing to turn to Joonmyun.

"Why?" Sehun frowned a bit. Although Joonmyun is older, Sehun is still a bit protective of you. After he and everyone else watched you flee that place 2 years ago with a broken heart. All because of their blinded leader.

"Did you know she was here in Seoul?" Joonmyun tried to give it away as casually as he could.

Xiumin and D.O. perked up from the kitchen. "Really?"

Sehun and Baekhyun turned interested too. "Really? How did you know? Were you in contact?"

Joonmyun carefully chose his words. "No. We're not. I just saw her social media update." He was hoping that one of them would actually contact you and ask your whereabouts. He felt he has no right to even talk to you at all.

Joonmyun saw Sehun turned to switched off his game and he could see him scrolling through his iPad. He must be checking your Instagram. When he saw the maknae's grin, and started typing, he knew Sehun was probably sending you a message , or at least a comment. But the maknae never shared any information of you.

Damn. Joonmyun thought.

~

Meeting the Song family was wonderful. Joongki has a big family and everyone was really kind. His younger cousins were a lot of fun to be with. But one of them was actually an EXO fan. Scratch that, she's one of the biggest fanclub members in Sehun's fandom.

She was staring at you, like ganging whether to ask you nicely or to straight up confront you. You were starting to feel a bit awkward with all the staring that she's doing.

"Yah! What are you doing over there, brat?" Joongki called his younger cousin and made her sit o