Despite all your instinct and friend's warnings, you still hadn't broken off your relationship with Joonmyun. Maybe because of your own selfishness; even though his heart's not yours, by staying by his side, you're still his, and he's yours.

Or maybe you're just waiting to get out of your rebound zone and hoping he will love you the way he did to Krystal. It's long shot, but it's something you're willing to take.

It has been almost 3 week since Joonmyun contacted you. This is nothing unusual, there would be times when he won't contact you for a month. And you understand that he's busy with practice and promotions, even though Kris still manages to send you some short but funny everyday texts that made you smile.

At least there's someone who still cares. You told yourself.

You sighed and got up from the couch you're on.

Joonmyun is always like this, you told yourself. It's nothing new. He'd make you forget  that you're just his rebound girl and then disappears  the next minute. You'll be okay. You'll be fine. You convinced your heart.

You opened your laptop and checked on your twitter. You followed a fairly enough of Joonmyun's fansites just to keep track of him with a distance. You can't help but smile at how his fans love and devotions towards him. It's all very heartwarming.

Then one update caught your eye. It was a real-time update. It was Joonmyun, in his complete disguise get-up. Of course his hardcore fans can still recognize him. He has his hoodie over his head, a dark sunglasses and a face mask covering half of his face.

"Where is he going?" You thought. He was leaving the SM building and you can't help but feel a little hurt. He was just here in Seoul but he never even bothers with you? You thought he was somewhere in South East Asia doing some kind of a concert?

Or wait, maybe he's going here? Hence, the disguise?

You excitedly jumped off the couch, took a quick shower and put on your nice dress. Nothing too dressy, but nothing too sloppy.

You looked at the time.

You still have enough time to make Samgyetang, his favorite Ginseng chicken soup. Hours had passed, lunch, and dinner: still no call nor any messages.

You looked again at the updates. No more.

Joonmyun has always said not to call their dorm's phone. The head manager might pick it up or worse, from time to time their CEO take rounds around the idols' dorms. But you can't take it anymore. Where is he?

You dialed their dorm's phone number. It rang twice and then thrice before someone answer it.

It was Kai.

"Hello?" He was panting. Maybe they were practicing? You considered hanging up, but you remember this was their dorm. They can't practice in their dorm.

"J-Jongin?" you whispered, as if trying not to be so loud, in case their manager was inside their dorm.

"Oh noona!" His voice boomed over the receiver; you can hear him smiling.

"What's up noona? It's been a while since we saw you!" He said. Apparently, from the loudness of his voice, no manager must be in.

"Yeah.. weren't you busy?" You thread carefully with your voice.

"Well, there's the usual practice, but it's not our time to promote right now noona." Kai said.

"Didn't you have any schedule in Thailand or Malaysia or something?" You frowned. Suho would not contact you in a month if he's country hopping with schedules.

"Well, we got back a week and half ago. So we're totally free now." he answered.

You nodded and before you could even think about those dreadful thoughts you refused to think about, you asked: "Is Joonmyun there?"

"Ah hyung." You can hear him thinking and frowning. "Is he not there? He went out earlier today."

"Ah.." You swallowed hard. "I see."

When you didn't hear Jongin response anymore, you said, "Ah, it was nice talking to you again, Jongin. I'll see you some time. Thanks. Goodbye."

Before he could even say goodbye, you hang up.

Where is Joonmyun?

Is he with Krystal?

You didn't even know how you got to the couch, all curled and your face swollen and puffy from crying. You jolt awake when you heard the door banged close.

"J-Joonmyun?" You called out, feeling disoriented. It was dark, but the lights on the hallway and the kitchen dining was on.

When you walked towards the hallway, Joonmyun's frowning face welcome you.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. You blinked, his question doesn't seem to register to you.

"Um.. I .. I live here?" You scratches your head, frowning a bit, confused by his question.

You heard him sneered as he went to throw his bag to the couch. "Trying to be smart, I see."

You followed him quietly like a lost puppy until he went to the kitchen.

"Yah! You didn't even clean up the kitchen?!" He shouted. "What, did you expect me to clean all this up for you?"

"W-what?" You asked stupidly at him. You're still not sure if this is a dream or reality. Joonmyun had been shouting at you, scolding you for reasons you don't understand. Nothing seems to make sense.

"I said --" Joonmyun uncovers the lid and he saw the cold Ginseng chicken soup and for the first time he noticed the untouched rice cups and plates. You stared stupidly at the table, consciousness starting to seep in to you.

"I.. I cooked it for lunch. I thought you were coming over. I'm sorry..." You quickly gather the unused utensils.

Why are you so stupid, not even clearing it up when it was past dinner, heck it's even past midnight now.

While you were hurrying to clean up 'the mess' that Joonmyun pointed out, you heard him sighed in resignation and without any other words, he walked out of the kitchen. With a hurt heart, you cleared the table. You didn't had lunch nor dinner, but you're not really very hungry anymore.

Joonmyun was obviously in a very bad mood, is it because of their managers? His sasaeng fans? or.. maybe he got on a fight with Krystal?

You were scared to go to your shared room. You don't want to get shouted at again. It's been a month since you last saw him. You just wanted to hug him, to feel him and to hold him. Is that too much to ask for?

But you're going to risk it. Didn't you said your purpose was to replace Krystal in his heart?

You were about to open the door when you heard his angry but frustrated voice again.

"Taeminnie, you don't have to explain anything to me. Date whoever she wants. Damn it. She's friggin impossible! Last week, we were okay, she was talking to me! And now she's all over Minho? What the was that all about!"

You clutched your chest. He was with Krystal as soon as they got back from overseas activities?

"Just tell Minho I said goodluck with her. She's one impossible girl."

You heard him sighed in annoyance. You can't even manage to turn the knob anymore.. You moved away and went back to guest room.

He won't look for you.

Just like how you're not the first person that he wanted to find.

~

Next morning, your face looks and feels swollen even after you washed it with cold water. You had to get a cold compress and press it on your face.

And of course, Joonmyun was gone, just like that. He left a note, which now surprised you.

'Sorry about last night. I'll call you later'

You shook your head and put the note back on the table.

Every time you take a step towards him, he'll take 2 steps away from you. He's going too far from your reach.

You sighed and another tear escaped your eye.

You decided to skip classes. No point going when you can't even concentrate.