I was leaning on the wall beside the door of CN Blue's dorm for more than 5 minutes. My feet were aching and I was tired of waiting... But I was still there! I knew Jonghyun was there. All the time I was standing there no sound came from the other side of the door. At last I loudly called myself 'stupid' and turned to go. I stood At the door 10 more seconds and just walked away. When I reached the elevator the door of the dorm opened. I shut my eyes and felt I couldn't move.

"Where the hell have you been all this time huh?" - I heard the softest and best voice of my life from far behind. His voice echoed in the corridor.

"In Seoul..." - I could hardly mumble those two words. Then I turned and froze seeing his calm and tired face. I missed seeing him so close. - "Hyun, I'm so sorry... I was just.. Well, you know... Confused!"

"Come in. I think we both have stuff to talk about." - Oh, God! He was still smiling after all... That is what I love in him! His deep look, his smile, his eyes, his patience.

Jonghyun closed the door after me and went to sit on the white sofa. I was standing in a few meters away from him and looking at him with my heart pounding hardly. Suddenly I found that there were no words left, nothing! Empty space in my vibrating head. He asked me to sit by him.

"Jonghyun, I don't know what should I start with..." - I couldn't look at him.

"Let's just don't talk about bad things ok?" - He seemed to be offended but he didn't show that even a bit. - "What have you been doing these 3 months?"

"I'm a student, uh... in Seoul University." - Why doesn't he ask about why haven't I even called him, where have I been, did I miss him or not? - "Um, I play guitar in a small bar to earn some money..." - He was listening with greatest patience. I couldn't stand it anymore. - "Hyun, I.. I'm really, really sorry for disappearing all of a sudden..."

"Ah, don't worry about it! I should say sorry first." - He smiled and turned his head away, then looked back at me and said, looking straight at me.- "That day when we... I mean when Yonghwa hit me, you were shocked and upset, and it's normal, because so many things happened in you life! So just forget all that happened ok?"

"You still remember that?!" - I melted. His attention is really amazing me... - "Hyun, I want you to know something. And if I don't say that now, I will never be able to say that again..." - I inhaled deeply and started talking... - "Three months is a long time to think of what's right and what's wrong. I mean feelings aren't toys of your inner world. They're a serious part of every person's life, so... I want to tell you that I can't..."

At that moment someone rang the doorbell. , I'm crazy, what was I going to say! Stupid girl... Jonghyun opened the door and Yonghwa with all the other guys and Mary entered the room. Yonghwa stopped immediately after seeing me. He smiled and approached me.

"Grace? How did you, when...?" - He looked at Jonghyun and back at me. - "I.. I... You've changed a bit."

"Thanks, you didn't..." - I made a small laugh and took my rucksack. - "Sorry guys, I need to study, so I'll leave you ok?"

"I'll see you off." - Jongyun stood up.

"NO... I mean, I'm in a hurry. Bye!" - I mumbled and ran out of the dorm. Tears filled my eyes and I pushed the button and soon got into the elevator and cried as hard as it was possible. Mary's car was in the parking so I texted her to tell that I'll get home by myself. She called back.

"Mary please, I want to walk!" - I said immediately after pushing the answer's button.

"I knew you were going to answer Mary's phone only..." - Wait... It's not Mary!

"Yonghwa?" - I stopped and heard heavy footsteps behind me.

I turned and saw Yonghwa in dark sunglasses coming over me. He handed me my coat. I was so worried that didn't even notice that I left my coat in the dorm. Right after he returned me it I felt the cold November wind blowing at me and hitting my chest. I took it and looked away. He noticed my drying tears.

"What's wrong? Did he hurt you?" - He pointed at my wet face. 

"No, he is a great person..." - I cleared my eyes with my hand and looked at Yonghwa. Strange... No feelings. Only a warm friendly atmosphere...

He offered to drive me home. It was getting cold and I thought it would be ok. He drove to the park where we first drove the day we met. I smiled to my memories and Yonghwa understood the meaning of it...

"Strange, right?" - He said still watching at the tree before the car, three months ago right here I was crushed down. And now those feelings of loneliness and apathy returned and at the same time I remember how he called me. 

"Sushi-Alien..." - We said together laughing. - "That time you became someone really important to me."  - Yonghwa continued. - "I can say that I liked you more day by day... You were really cool girl and I wanted only the best for you, but I also thought of not getting close enough to you."

"Hah... Thanks... but why didn't you act like that?? You were keeping yourself away from me all the time we knew each other." - My voice became warmer. 

"I knew that one day you will leave. You are a kind of girl that never stays in one place for a long time. I just wanted life to stay as it was before you entered CN Blue's life." - He made a small laugh and looked at me. - "And I also knew that Jonghyun liked you too. And his feelings were stronger... So I thought I better make a contract with him. He promised not to fall in love with you and he also promised that he won't do anything serious... I mean like kiss, hug or tell about his feelings. He is a kind of person, that stays faithful once he get's close to someone."

"The day on the roof..." - I understand now. - "But that day you were saying another thing. Like having girlfriends and that no one can do it earlier until you get one... Aren't I right?"

"I didn't want to hurt Jonghyun telling about the contract clearly. I regret for hitting him, but in a day we all just came back to normal." - Yonghwa smiled and sighed.

He told the truth... Now I know everything. I should go back to Jonghyun and tell him about my feelings. I was so wrong! Yonghwa's confession cleared my mind at last. I smiled and asked him to drive home as I wanted to think of everything that happened. The engine started and suddenly I realized that Yonghwa and I got close enough and I should ask him what I wanted.

"Hey oppa, thanks for telling me the truth. It was really very important to me." - I smiled to him and he shook his shoulders like he did nothing. - "What you think of Mary?"

"Uh... So sudden..." - He got confused a bit. - "Actually I... I like her and the feelings are really strong.?"

It's strange... - "You fell in love with her right after seeing her today??" - How can that happen? They met just twice and the first time was really not so successful. And the 2nd time was today. - "So fast..."

"Yeah, I think it really was, uhm.... fast!" - He smiled nervously while driving and slightly coughed.

When he drove me home, it was already dark. I thanked him and got out of the car. Mary's car was already parked and the light in the living room was on. Yonghwa was looking at the lighted window and I asked him to come in, but he shook his head and said that he has stuff to do. I entered the white wooden door and Mary quickly ran to me to ask the details. I smiled and went to my room. She followed me and poured a thousand questions on me. 

"I don't have answers to your questions. Good night." - I got into my bed and smiled to the wall. I kept the phone in my hand and when Mary went out unsatisfied and closed the door I quickly took the phone and texted Jonghyun. "Let's meet tomorrow on the roof of you-know-where." The answer came right after 15 seconds. "Ok... In the evening at 7 wait for me. Good night." I smiled and put the phone under my pillow and fell asleep...