CHAPTER 24 – LOST THE FEELING OF LOVING

Junhyung leaned against the tree and closed his eyes. The air was refreshing and he could feel it against his skin. He hasn’t been this calm and restful for a month. Now that Hyunseung’s awake and recovered quite fast from the accident, Junhyung felt that he finally had some space to breath. But he didn’t feeling as calm as before until he could meet Hyunseung face to face. Yes, he Yong Junhyung hadn’t had even a slight chance to talk or meet Hyunseung. Things were different now. Hyunseung’s family even cut all their ties with him. Even her father was so angry with him that he didn’t even spare Junhyung a look when he told Junhyung to get out of his son’s life. Hyunseung’s mother otherwise looked more miserable than mad. She only looked at Junhyung. There was no hatred, just a sign of betrayal.

It was all okay for him. He was willing to take all the responsibility and the guilt. Hyunseung had taken enough responsibility for it. It was his turn now, plus he was the one who was so into their “fake love” in the first place.

He cheated on Hyunseung, having a vacation with another girl when Hyunseung was in hospital fighting for his life. Junhyung thought he can live with that accusation. It was nothing if he compared to what Hyunseung has been through because of his selfishness.

“Hey” Junhyung opened his eyes and gestured the new guest to sit next to him. The latter did and they both fell into silent for a few minutes. Junhyung finally broke it.

“So, how long?” he asked; eyes were fixed to the sky.

 “Since the beginning” his accompany answered.

“You mean, since you came back here” Junhyung added. The latter didn’t say anything but Junhyung knew he was right.

“Don’t you feel mad at me?” Junhyung asked again and this time, there was a small chuckle as a reply. Junhyung frowned.

“I love him, I do really love him. And all I ever wanted is his happiness, nothing more or less. I want him to be happy, that way I can be happy as well. The only thing that makes him happy was when he talks about you. It doesn’t matter what, as long as it does concern you”

“Even about me in love with Hara?” Junhyung raised his eyebrow.

“Yes, even about that. He was glowing every time he talks about you. Junhyung this, Junhyung that. He cares about you a lot”

“The way you said it like telling me that he is falling for me”

“What do you think?”

“Why would he still is happy when he talks about me and Hara if he’s in love with me? It doesn’t make any sense”

“It’s because that’s the only thing that can make you happy. Hara, isn’t?” Junhyung’s eyes widened. He realized what the latter meant by it. He got it.

“All he ever wanted is my happiness, nothing more or less. He wants me to be happy, that way he can be happy as well” another chuckle was heard and this time, the latter was already stood up. He pulled out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Junhyung.

“I really don’t want to give you this but I think you might need to know about this. By giving you this, I’m hoping that I can expect you to do something about this. I don’t know why but I have this feeling that I can count on you” Junhyung took the envelope and took out the card in it. His eyes widened in shocked.

“Jiyong, wha--? Why?” Junhyung’s voice cracked, his lips trembled, and his hands were shaking.

“You know when the date is. I’m sure you’re man enough to think what is right and wrong” Jiyong bid his farewell, leaving Junhyung who was still staring at the fallen card on the ground.

AN INVITATION TO

JANG HYUNSEUNG & KWON JIYONG ENGAGEMENT PARTY

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hyunseung took a step into his room. He scanned the whole room, nothing has changed. It was still the same as he left it a month ago. He walked further into the room and touched everything he could reach before settled himself on his fluffy and comfy bed. He smiled. This felt really like home. Turning his head to the left, he saw the pendant that he took off the day of his car accident.

Junhyung. He whispered wistfully.

Why do I have to fall in love with him? If I doesn’t, it wouldn’t hurt this much.

Tears started to form in his eyes. He blinked repeatedly, trying to hold it from running down his cheeks but then there was a gentle touch on his shoulder and when he looked up only to see a guilty face of his brother, he didn’t bother to stop it anymore. The tears ran down freely.

“I’m sorry. It’s my entire fault. If I could just listen to him or Jiyong first, things wouldn’t ended up this way” Seunghyun was hugging him tight, he can feel it. It was so tight that he can feel all the guilty feeling Seunghyun was carrying now. Hyunseung shook his head and returned the hug.

“No, it isn’t yours. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t lie to all of you in the place. I could have just come clean about it sooner. But I was too greedy. I ended up wanting his love. I ended up wanting him for myself though I know he’s in love with another girl. I should have known he wasn’t for me but I’m selfish, I want to have him and keep him. I’m sorry, hyung”

Seunghyun pulled away and looked deeply into his brother’s eyes.

“Let’s tell mom and dad about this. They should know about this” Seunghyun was already on his way out when Hyunseung yanked his hand from behind and he stumbled backwards.

“No, we can’t. It’s already gone this far, don’t ruin anything anymore. I couldn’t bear anymore damages cause by me. Please, hyung” Hyunseung pleaded with teary eyes that Seunhyung couldn’t refuse. Slowly he turned his body around to face Hyunseung.

“But they thought Junhyung was really cheating on you while he didn’t. That’s why they decided to tie a knot between you and Jiyong”

“It is fine, I’m okay with it. It’s Ji after all” he smiled but it looked bitter. Seunghyun can even feel it.

“But you love Junhyung, not Jiyong”

“I love Ji too”

“It’s not the same” Seunghyun sighed. “This is really my fault. If I could just wait and being patient, I wouldn’t ended up telling our parents about Junhyung’s vacation with that girl”

“Hyung, I told you already. It’s not your fault, so don’t put the blame on you. I’m a not a little boy anymore. I have to take responsibility for my every action”

“I’m sorry, I really am” Hyunseung smiled and nodded his head.

“I know. From now on, let’s us forget about the pain and start a new life ahead okay” Seunghyun smiled in return.

“You’ve really grown up” he ruffled his hair lovingly and they both fell into a happy laugh. Hyunseung threw a look outside the window. He silently whispered in his heart.

Good bye Yong Junhyung. But don’t forget, my love always remain for you. I’ll let the wind pass my love for you in your every breathe.

-TBC-

Updated! I think no one expected this to happen in this chapter? Hehe. I’m sorry, I’m not good enough in creating too much drama. So, it turns out to be like this. Hoho~

Urm, so, I’m well aware that every chapter that I updated was kind of short when some of you expected to read longer chapter everytime I updated this story. Just to let you know, I purposely write it around that length; around 3-4 pages for every chapter. First, since I updated this every weekdays and I only managed to write it at night after work, my brain can’t function to write for more than 4 pages for each chapter HAHAHA. And secondly, if some of you have noticed, I’m not really good in English; my grammar , sometimes my spelling went wrong, and the sentences just arghhhh, okay, in short, I can only write as much as I can for now. So yeah, I’m sorry if I make you disappointed but I’ll try my best ^___^ thank you so much for your lovely comments and endless support for this story, I can’t thank you enough so I promise to do better with the rest of the update. And the next update will be up on Sunday! Thank yous! <3 <3 <3