CHAPTER 19 - BROKEN

“You wanna talk now?" He sat on his bed, whichwas now occupied by Hyunseung. Hyunseung shook his head, again, that made Jiyong sighed, again.

“Seung, it’s been 3 days. You can’t hide in my house forever. It’s bad enough that I have to make God knows how many excuses not to let your brother come to my house and told your father that you suddenly went for a vacation. Just talk to me alright?”

Hyunseung didn’t say anything. He just stared on the wall in front of him like he wanted to make a hole on it. Jiyong moved closer and looked deep into the doe eyes. He wished he could read something, anything in those eyes but he found nothing.

“Seung, tell me what happened will you? I’m clueless here. Is this about Junhyung?” Jiyong noticed how Hyunseung’s lips twitched upon hearing the name and there was a sudden change in his eyes. A flash of emotion that left Jiyong helpless.

“Ji” Hyunseung’s voice sounded so soft, so broken and Jiyong immediately leaned down, put his palm flatted on Hyunseung’s puffy cheek and gently rubbed the skin there with his thumb.

“You told me you have someone that you love but that person doesn’t love you back. How do you feel about that?” that took Jiyong off guarded. He opened his mouth to answer but closed it back, suddenly realized the consequences of saying whatever he wanted to say before.

“Why?” he asked instead.

“I want to know, how do feel about them not loving you back. I want to know how you deal with it. I want to know—“

“Seung, I’m sorry” Jiyong shook his head. “Whatever thoughts you have in your mind right now, it’s not your fault okay? Of course it’s hurt but there is more important thing than that. It’s not just about us loving the others, it’s not just about us and them. It’s more than that”

“But it is my fault. I drag Junhyung into my problem. I make him a liar. Because I’m too selfish and cruel. Joon is my best friend and I hurt him too”

“No, no. It is not. You didn’t know all of this will happen”

“Maybe, but I shouldn’t do that. I should just tell Joon. I shouldn’t lie to my family. I’m a horrible person” Jiyong shutted his eyes and exhaled a deep breath.

“Listen to me, Seung. None of this is your fault. I won’t let you think that way. Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. I don’t want you to give up on that feeling just because of one person. Remember the feeling when you were with him”

“I just want him to be happy” Hyunseung’s spoke slowly. His gaze fixed on Jiyong. “Junhyung is a really nice guy. He makes me happy, not the way Joon makes me happy, and I attracted to him. He treats me nice, makes me feel special, makes me feel great. Like I’m the luckiest person on earth—it’s so stupid—but Junhyung is just amazing, you know” Hyunseung smiled fondly.

“Well he wasn’t like that at first, you know. We didn’t date, we didn’t talk, but then we met again and he has these wonderful friends around him. Have I told you that his friends are really nice? Woonie is really nice. I like him. He’s like another Joon, another best friend to me. Of course you’re my best friend too Ji, but you’re different okay?” Hyunseung laughed. Jiyong nodded patiently, a warm smile spread on his handsome face.

“Mom and dad really like Junhyung, he’s just that kind of guy, it’s easier for people to like him. Because he said he will help me, he wanted to help me. And then there is Hara, the one that Junhyung loves so much. It’s cute, you know. Junhyung told me a lot about her, I asked him to tell me. Then it’s not cute anymore—of course it’s not—because I start to feel uneasy everytime I hear her name. I thought because I hear about her too much, but then Junhyung’s smile when he talks about her, makes my heart aches. I can’t breathe right. I feel like I want to yell and Junhyung and tell him to stop” Hyunseung stopped talking for a while.

“Then one day I woke up I realized how much I love him—it’s not fair right—because I know Junhyung doesn’t love me. He loves Hara, I know it—of course I freaking know it—but I just can’t stop. He suddenly became the centre of my life. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore” Hyunseung swallowed hard. “But Ji, you’re suddenly here. You came back. And you knew everything…I told you everything. And finally I know what to do. I can’t let my feelings linger on Junhyung for long, I have to let him go. And Junhyung’s so happy with Hara. I thought they’re going to make it, Junhyung’s will get his love requited. That at least manages to put me at ease. All I want is the best for Junhyung, Hara…Hara is the best for him. I thought everything can go back to normal again. I can be honest to Joon finally. And I will get disturbing messages from Doojoon again—I kinda miss his nag—because Doojoon’s awesome, he loves Yoseob a lot. I can go out to the party with Kikwang again—of course I will drag you with me Ji—life’s back to normal. But Junhyung…Junhyung suddenly…he changed. He came and being nice. But then he…he yelled at me…he said mean things. Like I’m using him…am I? Like he…he hate me. I…I don’t know what to say…he’s so mad at me…I just cried…” Hyunseung stopped talking; he couldn’t keep going because he started crying again.

Jiyong pulled him up before he enveloped Hyunseung’s body into a tight hug. He did nothing but rubbing his face against Hyunseung’s neck and let the boy calm down on his own. Jiyong didn’t know what to say anymore, how to make the broken Hyunseung feeling better, because he couldn’t even handle his own feeling. He asked for this, Jiyong asked for them to talk, and now how wished he didn’t.

-TBC-

I'm sorry for the short chapter. it's stressing writing a broken Hyunseung T____T. and thank you so much to my subscribers and those who left awesome comments for this story. i have to tell you this, I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!! you guys are my source of strenght to continue wrting and finishing this story. thank yous!!!! see you again on the next update, which hopefully will be up tomorrow~