Title (3/5)

I lied your title. It's just that it did not captivate me into clicking on it and reading it. But It did fit the story very well.

Description/Foreword (8/10)

I absolutely loved the foreword! It was so long and normally I would take points off for that but because it really captivated me and kept my attention it definitely made me want to read on. The only problem was the structure. Though it was visually pleasing it screwed up the sentence structure, other than that amazing!

Characters (8/10)

I loved the characters and they all seemed to stay true including the main girl, Rian. Though it seemed she changed too quickly from her rebellious behavior to a cutesy pie. But that was how she originally acted so I thought it fit kind of perfectly. Though I do wish you would’ve made her behavior change a bit slower I still loved the characters.

Plot (15/20)

I loved the plot! Everything seemed kind of perfect in that sense but I will say that I have read and heard of stories like this. But I still read it and loved it because it wasn’t cliché in an annoying repetitive sense that made me want to stop reading it. You did have tons of twists and turns that kept me captivated and intrigued and I loved that part of it, so good job!

Grammar (15/20)

Your grammar was very good for someone whose native language is not English, however. You did have a couple of mistakes that made it hard for me to read. You were missing words to make a sentence complete and it also skipped very important words that made the sentence mean something else or be utterly confusing.  You also used the wrong tenses occasionally and used words that do not exist in the English language.  But overall you had amazing vocabulary and I absolutely love it when people use big words instead of the usual drawl.  So I was pleased with your vocabulary.

Flow (6/10)

Your flow was probably your biggest problem; you jumped around from point of view way too much. I love hearing form others points of view but I also hate it when it jumps around a bit too much and also to random characters. Also the fact that words were missing also made it harder to read and flow nicely.

Visual Things (12/15)

Your font was perfectly fine, but of course there was a problem. You used caps way too much also you used the full term for CPR, when it would’ve been simpler for the character to say CPR; because honestly I don’t know anyone who says the actual words. Also addressing that you use capital letters too much, you should either italicize those words instead or even just say that the person specifically placed emphasis on this one word. Otherwise it just gets very irritating and I tend to shout the word out in my head or out loud when I read it and it’s written in all caps. The poster was very simple and pretty!

Ending (--/10)

You did not have an ending yet. So this will not count towards your final score.

Extra Comments: I am really sorry I took forever to update and review your story! I have a very bad habit of getting distracted and handling too many things at once. I really loved your story however your writing does need help, but I do wish you luck with it. ^^

Total 67/90

Rebel Makeover

I hope this helps your writing improve and I wish you luck!^^