Title (2/5)

The title was definitely catching it caught my attention almost immediately, though you could've worked on how it relates to the story a bit more.

Description/Foreword (--/10)

You did not have a foreword or description so I can not grade this part.

Characters (5/10)

Your characters did have some uniqueness to them but the problem was they seemed to change their personality too often. One second Seoyoun would be an extremely over emotional young girl, the next a complete bad who would beat up anyone who came near here, then go right to a playful klutz...it was ultimately confusing. Also you had too many characters and  was extremely hard t keep track of who was who.

Plot (9/20)

You didn't really seem to have a plot at all during this story to be honest. The whole thing confused me and made it hard for me to see what the plot actually was, also the story did not seem planned out thoroughly. One second she'd be talking about her horrible life the next completely absorbed in a love triangle, which is another thing she seemed to be falling in and out of love way to quick and easily.

Grammar (7/20)

The grammar in this story I am sad to say was horrible, it seemed like a kindergartner wrote it. Some words were so distorted I had to sit and think for awhile before I realized what you were trying to say. Though the grammar was horrible I could figure out most of the time what you were trying to say, also your sentences were incomplete and all over the place. Also you had awkward syntax in almost every sentence, and the vocabulary was average and you used words I would see in ever basic story, nothing that truly caught my attention.

Flow (4/10)

The flow along with the poor grammar and sentence structure made it hard to read fluently for me without any problems, I had to stop and think way to many times and try to figure out what you mean to say. Also it was completely and utterly jumpy, every time you wrote the topic and subject of conversation changed. Also you had way too many point of views and it must be confusing for readers and obviously you too. Since I noticed during one of the chapters you wrote something that was in the wrong point of view.

Visual Things (15/15)

I had absolutely no problem being able to read the texts based on size, and I can't judge on the poster or background since you had none!

Ending (--/10)

You did not have an ending so I did not count this for the final score.

Extra Comments:

I highly suggest you get a thesaurus, dictionary and use Word or something. I really wanted to enjoy the story so badly but the plot was everywhere; you had too many characters, a boat load of spelling errors and screwed up sentences. I had no clue what was going on half the time, it jumped around everywhere you had too many point of views and it ultimately did not help that your story had little to no description what so ever. The whole thing might've made more sense if you had planned the plot out and maybe thought about getting rid of some unneeded characters. Also this is based off of what I saw and what I actually gathered and understood from your story. My advice get a really good writer maybe an adult to proof read you chapters before you post them or type your story up on Word beforehand so you can check spelling grammar and use the built in thesaurus and expand your vocabulary. I really hope this review helped you out a lot, this was meant to help you out not to harm you I wish you luck.

Total: (42/80)

All Because of Her

I really hope this will help improve your writing skills and not hurt your feelings!

I wish you luck in your writing career! ^^