Title (4/5)

Okay so your title was extremely fitting for the story, since she escapes and it doesn’t seem to be the perfect sweet escape! But I knocked off one point because it didn't really catch my attention.

Description/Foreword (10/10)

AMAZING! I mean it definitely made me want to at least read the first chapter, the way you wrote it with repetitive words, left it hammered into my mind. Also you used really powerful words like family, hell, and impossible. That is why you got a perfect score for this category.

Characters (8/10)

I really wanted to give you a perfect score but I had to knock off a few points because one Dongwoo's character doesn't seem to fit your description that you gave him also the girl character did not seem to be as emotionless as you wrote she was in the description. But besides those two little mistakes I loved your characters it was a bit annoying that your girl character was a bit of Mary-sue, but at the same time she wasn't. She definitely developed throughout the story from being very head strong and clever to a more emotion filled girl who was confused and suddenly became innocent, but you didn't completely ruin her personality and completely change it. You still let her keep most of her old personality. You even made the minor characters have a huge impact on everything that happens throughout the story and you didn't forget about Dongjun!

Plot (20/20)

Oh my God, don't even get me started! I saw that it was a vampire story and just wanted to run and hide, but as soon as I read the first chapter and foreword I was hooked. The plot seemed a little bit like someone else's story but one idea was similar everything else was original, it was amazing. Every time you thought things were going smooth, out of nowhere a huge, major twist would happen throwing all that out the window. The cliffhanger in chapter 19 is making me want to explode. I was very impressed, I and I'm sure other readers could tell you thought and planned the whole plot out instead of going in blindly and I think it is brilliant, absolutely brilliant!

Grammar (13/20)

Though you had little to no spelling mistakes, you sadly had tons of sentence structure issues. But they were actually very minor things that were barely noticeable; they how ever made it harder to read it flawlessly. You were missing commas; some of your 'sentences' were not sentences. But I was very impressed with your very large vocabulary, you didn't use simple or over used words and if you did you added something more to it.

flow (8/10)

The flow was not bad because of all your grammar mistakes, but the good spelling and the fact that most of it was written correctly protected you from getting a lower score.

Visual Things (15/15)

The poster was absolutely beautiful, so kudos to the designer! The writing was the perfect size you italicize and bolded words that fit and didn't over do it. Also the poster and background did not clash and they were not overwhelming at all!

Ending (--/10)

The story had no ending, so this was not counted for your final score.

Extra Comments:

I have nothing but good to say, I mean wow, just wow! The whole thing entranced me and I just started reading it an hour ago and couldn't stop reading it with in that short period of time. It was just amazing your description made it so realistic and life like. I got angry when she got hurt and felt completely flustered when she felt flustered. It was spectacular and I can't wait to read more of it, i might even up vote it! the whole story was perfect except for the minor sentence structure mistakes, but besides that it was basically perfect! I truly wish you luck with this story and hope it gets featured!

Total (78/90)

 The Not-So-Sweet Escape

I really hope this helps out with your story nad improves your writing skills too! ^^

I have to say I am in love with your story! ^^

Don't forget to comment and cedit if you want to! ^^