Title (5/5)

I really liked the title, I thought it was eye catching and very unique. It did also catch my attention right off the bat.

Description/ Foreword (9/10)

The Description was written for well, and was very good in general. But it was not what caught my attention; your foreword did that for me. Both did not give away too much of the story line and I liked that very much, it kept me hooked and wanting to read more.

Characters (10/10)

I, oh my god, I can’t even begin to describe how much I loved your characters. They all are polar opposites and just really impressive. They also aren’t developing fast like in some stories and that’s a good thing it makes the story my realistic. Sumin is sticking to her personality, Dasom hers and same with the others for now at least. But Character development is a key factor in stories, and I’m pretty sure you will end up doing that as the story continues.

Plot (17/20)

The plot was not really unique, but the way you conveyed it made it unique and intriguing. I really liked it if you hadn’t requested however I probably would’ve never seen your story. Yes, your story and plot had me completely and utterly captivated in the plot and the story as a whole. Truth is I am in love with your plot and the events that are happening in the story.

Grammar (15/20)

Okay so I am constantly getting dumbfounded by people’s grammar. I mean I have taken Japanese classes for about two years and I still at writing in Japanese, but for people whose first language isn’t English it seems to come naturally to you. You wrote everything perfectly, but there were occasional times where you worded things badly. And you misused some words and used wrong words too. You also inserted things that were unnecessary.

“In my village, blond-haired people were usually considered as trouble.” A better was to word that would’ve been “In my village, blond people were usually considered to be trouble.”

“It was as if he tried to convince me that he was not a bad person with the stare.” Instead this would’ve flowed and been better, “it was as if he was trying to convince me he wasn’t a bad guy.”

Also you had the tendency to use no descriptive words, to be honest throughout the story the only thing getting me caught up and annoyed was the drama. Not the words you used, because the words you used were mechanical and not emotional or descriptive and made it harder for me to relate to the characters.

Flow (7/10)

Like I said before you sued really mechanical words that made it seem really stiff when I read it rather than emotional. Also you had the tendency to use awkward Syntax and you even used the word female and male to describe the people. I as a person who has lived in America do not use that word to describe people unless I’m in a formal situation. Since these were her friends she was referring to it wasn’t a formal situation, so that made it hard for me to read that part of the story. But besides that it flowed well.

Visual Things (15/15)

I had no trouble reading the text and the background and poster were not a distraction at all. But they were beautiful.

Ending (--/10)

Your story is not over so this will not count towards your total.

Extra Comments:

I absolutely loved your story, the emotional events and drama that is happening in it is just my type of story. But Like I said you used a lot of Awkward Syntax and certain words that did not make it easy to read. But I honestly could not stop reading it; it might be one of my new favorite stories. I hope you enjoyed this and it helps you improve your writing skills. Good luck!!

Total (78/90)

Drenched for 175 Days

I hope this reveiw will help you improve your writing!^^

I wish you luck!^^

OH! Don't forget to comment!!