CHAPTER SIXTEEN
[His Mind]
 

Jiyong's POV


I didn't know where to go but I was sure I wanted to be alone. Emotions were swelling up my system that I felt I could not breath anymore. I gripped on the steering wheel tightly and faced the road ahead. I was driving 90 miles per hour on the highway. Good thing there's not much cars on the road for it's already past midnight. How time flies just like the rough three years of my life.

Three years. I laughed bitterly reminiscing the time I felt like hell and to experience it again when she came back. I thought I already practiced myself in controlling my emotions if I ever see her again. She didn't love me anymore so why should I insist myself on her. I love her so much to accept her decision of leaving me. I accepted the fact that she'll be married to someone. I accepted to be hurt by her. Though I accepted all of it, it still didn't stop me from destroying myself.

I stopped going to school and was already a regular on night clubs to drink away my worries. I slept with countless of girls that I became worst as my old life. But all that were not able to help me in missing her, in longing for her. Every faces of the girls I slept with were of Dara's. Every time I , it will always be her name that I shout. I wanted to make love to her again, to touch her skin and body to mine. I was looking for it to every girl I with. I'm getting desperate that I ended up being a man . So, when I saw her tonight, I was not able to stop myself in lunging unto her. When I saw a moment, I then grabbed her and started devouring her. Just seeing her woke up the animal in me.

I should be upset. I should go berserk in seeing her especially when I saw her dancing ily with that b*stard. I was able to control myself in punching the hell of that guy and grabbed her from him. But I couldn't for she was doing it willingly. She was not forced to do it. I saw passion in her eyes as she looked at him and that also froze me to where I was. Finally, when her gaze landed on me, I could not contain my anger towards her. I thought I accepted her leaving me but then I couldn't. I don't hate her because I love her to death but the pain she gave after all the affection and love I gave to her was eating my whole being. I wanted her to suffer as well. I wanted her to feel the hell I went through because of her.

I ended up at Dara's house. I was not sure if she went back here but sensing that the place still cold as before confirmed that she didn't go home yet. She was staying somewhere else and I hate to think that she's staying on the guy's place.


Flashback


I was on my study reviewing the documents my dad sent me. It's been a year already when my father handed me some responsibilities of our company. He said I'm already old enough to handle such business. I agreed to it since it could distract me of thinking some things.

My phone rang and it was Bom again. It's like the tenth time tonight that she called. I didn't want to be rude but it's already a nuisance to me. Ever since we started dating, the girl was very clingy. I never imagined her like that before. She was always cool and fun to be with but now, as if she could not live without me and it's getting annoying. We're not even in a relationship.

The phone was still ringing but I ignored it. Thank goodness it stopped. I went back to my work when it rang again. I was already having a headache because of the phone's ringing. I took it and was about to turn it off but saw it was Chaerin calling. I erased the idea and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Yah! Why did it take you so long to answer?" she shouted on the other line. I have to put away the phone for a moment.

"I thought it was someone else." I said after a while.

"And that someone else is Bom, right?" She always could read me.

"So, what's up?" I asked not answering her.

There was a short pause before I heard her sigh. "We'll be going out. Ready yourself and we'll pick you up an hour later."

"Do I have a say on that?"

"NO." as expected. She always had her ways.

She then hanged up without even saying good-bye. Can she say good-bye like a normal person does? But then again, its CL we were talking about.

I looked at my watch and it said eight o'clock. It's still early to go clubbing but then I still have to wait for them. I went to my bedroom and readied myself. Half an hour later, the door rang followed by a knock. CL said they'll be here in an hour but it kind of early yet. I went to open it and it revealed Bom outside and by the looked of it, she'll be joining us.

"Oppa!" she just hugged me and kissed me on my lips.

I have to steady myself because I almost lost my balance with her sudden lunged at me. I pushed her off me gently.

"I guess you'll be joining." I said coldly at her and motioned her to go inside.

"Of course I'll be joining. I planned for this event. I even called Young Bae to come. Why aren't you answering my calls?" she sat on the couch while I just went to the kitchen to get water in the fridge.

"I was busy." I said plainly.

"Oh, okay. I understand. Sorry for disturbing you when you're working. Oh, by the way, I met with your mom yesterday. She's very nice and I already introduced myself as your girlfriend." she said while smiling at me.

"What?! Who told you to meet with my mother? You even said you're my girlfriend? Are you delusional?" I leaned angrily at the counter dividing the kitchen and the living room. I didn’t even know my mom was on the country.

"We've been dating for two years now, Jiyong. Isn't it obvious that we're already in a relationship?" she said as if stating the obvious.

"We're just dating. It's very different from having a relationship." I clinched my teeth.

"Well, for me, it's the same." she looked determine about it.

"Fine! Then we're through. Let's stop this dating bullsh*t because it's already getting on my nerves." I was determined as well. I was already fed up with this so-called relationship.

"You're breaking up just because I let your mother know of our relationship? I just want her to know, so what?"

"It matters because she's my mother and you’re not my girlfriend!" I shouted at her. I could no longer repress my growing annoyance towards her. I thought I could put up with her facade but what conspired already crossed the line.

"I'm not your girlfriend? Then who? Dara? Are you still stupid to think that she's still in love with you? She left you Jiyong and I was the one who helped you forget." She was already standing and crossed her arms on her chest as she smirked at me.

Just the mention of her name brought pain again in my system. Yes, I'm still stupid to think that she's still in love with me and she had reasons why she left me. Even with the news of her engagement, I was still hoping and would just wait on the sidelines.

"Shut up!" I told her and walked myself to my room when she suddenly hugged me on my back.

"Please, Jiyong. Don't leave me. I'll do everything you want me to do but just please don't leave me. I will not insist on being your girlfriend anymore so just stay. I'm sorry." she tightened her hug when I tried to shove her off.

"Stop this, Bom. You should know that I'm not for you." I succeeded on getting her off me. I turned to her and cupped her cheeks to better look at her. "I could never love someone after her. I'm so sorry."

"You're not even trying. Open up to me, Jiyong. It's just there and I know you could love me too." she pointed at my left chest and then again hugged me. This was hopeless. I could not put sense to her anymore.

I sighed at pushed her again to face me. "I cannot promise you anything but I will try." with that she happily hugged me again.

"Are we interrupting something?" I looked at the door and there were CL and Seungri looking at us. I was so caught up with our petty fight that I didn't notice them coming.

"Actually yes." Bom irritatingly said then eyed the new comers. Seungri coward but CL just looked at me.

"Are we going now? Just wait a sec." I untangled myself from Bom and went to my bedroom. Actually, I did not need anything inside, I just want to get away from CL's prying eyes.

I did say that I can't promise anything to Bom and trying was all I've been doing ever since. I've been trying to move on but I failed miserably. But it's been three years now but the supposed marriage of Dara never happened. I didn't have any news about that and even Chaerin. I was hoping that it's canceled and she'll be back to me but it never happened. Bom was right, Dara never did love me. I must focus my attention to someone worthy of my love.

I took my phone. There were a lot of pictures of Dara before but when she left, I erased most of them and only left one. That was the picture I took on our first night together. I secretly took it when she was sleeping after the long night we had. This picture was my favorite and I could not attain myself to delete it.

I needed to move on and by doing that, I have to erase everything about her. I looked at the picture for the last time. "Saranghae..." Delete?

"Hyung!" Seungri knocked outside my door. I then pressed my phone without looking. Did I delete it? But the picture was now the most recent I took in the screen.

"Hyung! Hurry up! YB hyung is already waiting." Aishh... I think it's already been deleted. I then shoved my phone in my pocket.



In the club...

The four of us arrived at the club and there were a lot of people already. I didn't mind since I'm used to it already. The moment we went out of the car, Bom immediately hooked her arms to mine. I was about to pull away but I promised to try on her so I let her be. She was a little bit surprised of me not moving away. Her smile widened and she leaned her body more.

"Thank you, Jiyong." she said while looking at me.

I was taken aback of the thank you. What for? Oh, the Trying Promise. I just smiled at her.

I felt a stabbing stare on my back and when I looked at it, they were Chaerin's eyes. My cousin really is scary.

"Hey man!" YB approached us the moment he saw our arrival. He already found us a table on the corner just as I like it. That portion of the club oversees the whole place.

"You guys are late!" YB said again. They were now sitting and immediately the girl whom I presume was his date circled her arms on YB's waist.

"Tell that to him." Chaerin pointed at me.

"Well, I'm sorry I have to do something first." I took a can of beer that was already on the table. I motioned it to YB to ask if it's okay for me to take it. He just nodded.

"There are a lot of people tonight." Bom said while still clinging to me.

YB's brows furrowed upon seeing our entwined arms did not left unnoticed by me. I chose not to notice it and focused my gaze on the dance floor as if something's interesting there.

"Well, it's Friday night so it's jam-packed." I heard YB's girl answered. I still didn't know her name but I didn't care. She's just a toy to my friend so it would just be a waste of time knowing her.

The girl and Bom were talking while the other three were conversing and I was still focus on the dance floor. The music was loud but it was enough to fill the club. The music suddenly changed to a Latin song so it gave a very y beat. The people on the dance floor were very in to the music that most of them were grinding each other's body already.

I admitted that I was already enjoying just watching different kind of pairs dancing to the music when suddenly I caught a petite girl dancing. The figure reminded me of someone even when all I could see was her back. She made a twirl that made her reveal her face to me and I was stood frozen recognizing her. When she were glided on the side with her partner, I unconsciously gripped the can of beer I was holding when I saw them almost kissing.

"Ji, are you okay?" it was Bom. I immediately withdrew my gaze from them.

"No, I don't like the drink. I'll just grab one at the bar." without waiting for her response, I then went near the dance floor. What was she doing her? With that punk?

When I saw them again, she was already facing her back to him but it didn't decrease the momentum of their dance. He clinched his fist seeing her into the dance and worst, she was clinging to his partner like it was her life. She opened her eyes and alas our eyes met. I did not hide my growing anger and shock registered in her eyes.

I instantly walked away. God! Every time I look into her eyes, I always get lost. My system was telling me to grab her from that man and love her again but my brain was shouting the reality of her not in love with me.

'I'm so stupid!' I arrived at the bar and ordered a brandy. I stayed there for I didn't want to talk to anyone and just drown myself with alcohol.

"An apple martini and a Manhattan please." I heard a guy beside me ordered. I did not bother looking at him. I was just drinking on my own world and occasionally looked at the bartender shaking some drinks when I heard the guy whispered beside me. I was just surprised hearing him even with the loud banging of music.

"What is that rabbit thinking? An apple martini?" he said. He mentioned rabbit. My thoughts then traveled to a certain rabbit I personally knew and she's just around. I clutched my hand again remembering the scenes earlier.

A phone rang and I knew it was not mine because of the ring-tone.

"Yo cuz!" it was the guy beside me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but my ears had a mind of their own that would just cling to the man though I didn't know why. It’s maybe because his voice was so loud versus the loud music. "We're fine! If you're so worried of her, why didn't you come with us?" he got a point.

"She's fine. How many times do I have to tell you that? Jezz..." Though he said those words, he's voice was amused. "Yah! Kang Daesung! Quit it already. She's having fun here along with Minzy's friends."

The bartender finished the drinks and handed it to him. "Gotta go now, Dara's waiting for her drink." and that snapped me. When I looked at the guy, it was the b*stard! I fought myself to grab him and punched the hell out of him. But I controlled since who am I to do that?

Anger again took over me, seeing her being so happy while I was almost dead because of her. I should hate her. I would no longer wait on the sidelines for her. She had forgotten about me and so I should do too.

I finished my drink and was about to go back to my group when I saw her. She was about to go to the restroom, I think. She still looks gorgeous especially now that she's wearing that black mini-dress that hanged to every contours of her body. My blood boiled seeing some ing bastards gawking at her as she passed by to them.

I could not think straight anymore. After minutes or so inside the room, I instantly grabbed her from behind and led us backdoor. When we reached the darker part of the alley, I unconsciously slammed her on the wall. She cringed on the impact for she closed her eyes and tried to muffle her cry. I could only say sorry inside. I tried caressing her neck to her shoulder to lessen the pain but wrong move because when my skin touched hers, the need for her instantly dominated.

I leaned closer and her smell made me thirstier of her. I kissed the most sensitive spot of her lips and I felt her stiffen. I could no longer repress the need to taste her again that I and her like a vampire does to his prey. I now felt her resisting to me but I didn't care. I indulge myself in leaving marks on his delicate neck and soon after I finally felt her relaxed for her body was responding on my touches.

Desire overflowed me that I removed my hand and claimed her lips hungrily. She was as sweet as always and how I missed her that way. She was so innocent or was she? We separated with eyes still closed but anger took over me. Though how much I missed her, she still played with me and without warning, I kissed her again but this time with so much force and hatred. I already tasted blood and with that I trailed kisses to her jaw down to her neck when I heard someone called her.

Both of us were transported back to reality and I felt her resisting. "Stop! Get away~" and our eyes met.

She was frozen on the spot. "J-Jiyong..." she stammered.

I smirked at her. "Welcome back." and crashed my lips against her again.

She was not responding because of shock. I heard the back door opened and I knew it's the guy she's with.

I pulled away and neared my lips to her ear. "Treat that as a welcoming gift. I'll see you around, my love." I said with a cold tone.

Fear was evident in her eyes. I looked down to her again and smirked. I stepped backward and hid myself in the dark and walked out of the alley careful not to be noticed.

I went inside the club again and walked directly to my group.

"Jiyong, where've you been?" It was Chaerin. She looked bored again that she made Seungri dance like a panda in front of her.

"Yeah, hyung. Bom noona's been looking for you." he finally stopped dancing and sat next to Chaerin.

I decided not to answer them. They will surely know later on especially her coming back.

"Jiyong! I've been looking all over for you!" Bom then walked towards me and immediately clung herself to me. I didn't bother shoving it off and just drank my beer.

I finally saw them. I could barely see her because she was surrounded by her companions so I settled on glaring at the guy. With the way he's holding her, I'm sure he's her lover, another toy. Thinking about that, it made my blood boil again.

"Excuse me, I have to go somewhere." I heard Chaerin said.

I didn't bother do anything for she just walked up fast tailing with her was Seungrat.

"Anything wrong, Jiyong?" this time it's Young Bae. He was eyeing me.

"Nothing that concerns you." I just answered.

"So, there is something." he said but leaned back to his seat without going further with the subject.

I just looked at him and wondered if he knew something.

"Ji, let's dance." Bom again.

"I'm not in a mood to dance." I drank the beer without even looking at her.

"Then, what's the point in going to a club if you're not dancing." Bom retorted. I swear I'm going crazy because of this girl. If she's not our friend, I would already beat her even if she's a girl.

"I said I don't want to dance!" I slammed the beer on the table and stood up.

"Where're you going?" she asked and looked alarm.

"Anywhere but here." I continued on my tracks while she followed me.

"Jiyong!"

"Jiyong!"

I was able to go outside and saw Chaerin and Seungri but didn't bother stopped for them. I went directly to my car and was about to close the door when Chaerin just popped out of nowhere and stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your business." she was holding the door tightly that I could not close it.

"Hyung, can we chill a bit? Come on, let's drink and have fun first." Seungri tried to ease the tension. I glared at him and was about to say something nasty when Chaerin interrupted.

"Is this about Dara?" How did she know? I looked on the front and clinched my fist.

"You saw her, didn't you?" Was I that obvious? I never felt this pathetic in my life even when she left without telling me.

Seeing her with my own eyes with a man gave numbers of emotions. I was so much hoping before that she would realize that she made a mistake but reality came slapping on my face that I was only kidding myself. Bom's right, I'm delusional.

"Just leave me alone for a moment, Caherin. I need time to think."

"Okay, but promise me you'll not do anything drastic." what else to say so I just nodded at her.

She let go of the door and closed it. I started the car and drove off to God knows where.


End of Flashback...




The ringing of the phone brought me back to the present. It was Bom.

I heaved a sigh before answering the call. "Yes?"

She didn't talk. "Bom, what do you want?" I sounded bored. But still, there was no answer.

"If you won't talk, I'll just hang up." I was about to end the call when I heard her sobbing.

"What is it again, Bom?" I was already used of her drama. She'll just basically cry every time we had an argument.

"Oppa, are you coming back with her?" how did she know about Dara?

I did not answer her. How would I be back with her when she didn't want to?

She cried aloud on the other line. "Please oppa, don't."

"Will you please stop this Bom? This is not you. Can you go back to the Bom I once knew?" This was already going out of the line. She was becoming obsessive.

"Everything changed ever since you came to our life, Jiyong. You are the one to blame." It got me confused.

"What?" I asked but she already hanged up.

"What the heck was that?" I thought. Now it's my fault? She's crazy.

I turned the engine again and drove myself away from the house. I didn't know when Dara and I would see each other again but I'm certain that I have to make her feel the pain I felt when she left me.


 

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Hi again!!!
Thank you for reading this chapter...
I was having a tough time writing Jiyong's POV
I took me awhile to finish it...
It may sound crappy but still I hope you like it...

My story is not progressing, I think...
I've been on the same scene for three chapters already
but I do hope it made sense... Is it??
Please do tell me...

Comment everyone! Please... It's highly appreciated....

Thanks again for reading!!!