DooJoon lifts his head a bit and nods “I’m sorry” he slowly gets on his feet without looking at Uruha. He takes a step back “I… I didn’t know I could hurt this bad” he looks up at Uruha, tears streaming from his desperate eyes, his lips trembling and his whole body literally shaking. He lets out a cry and takes another step back, then another but then his body betrays him and he trips and when he tries to turn to prevent himself from falling his legs cave in and he ends up hitting his forehead against a table. He lands on the floor and curls into a ball holding on to his forehead.

 “DooJoon!” Uruha quickly jumps to his side and places a hand on his arm “DooJoon are you okay?”

DooJoon shakes his head and turns on his back. His legs bend and his hands still holding on to his forehead.

Uruha reaches for a pillow and lifts DooJoon’s head placing it under him. He then runs to the bathroom and returns with a first aid kit.

He kneels down next to DooJoon and gently pries his hands away “Let me have a look” he softly says. DooJoon has his eyes shot tight and lets Uruha remove his hands.

Uruha carefully places a hand on DooJoon’s face turning it slightly so he can have a better look “It’s not that bad” he takes a disinfecting napkin from the kit and gently cleans the superficial wound. DooJoon opens his eyes slowly and looks at Uruha who just concentrates on the wound. His touch is gentle and he soothingly DooJoon’s cheek with his thump when he turns his head away to look for a patch to put on the wound.

DooJoon lies still and looks at the other male thinking how natural it is for Uruha to be caring like this. He knows that if Uruha thought it over he wouldn’t touch him like this but it is Uruha’s nature to be caring and DooJoon just feels even worse about his own nature. He can’t believe he was so heartless as to laugh at Uruha’s feelings. No wonder Ruki was always on his back telling him not to lead Uruha on. DooJoon is sure Uruha hasn’t even told Ruki how much he is putting up with or Ruki would have punched him a long time ago.

Uruha takes a patch and looks back at DooJoon. He pauses when he catch DooJoon’s tear-filled eyes looking at him like his world is coming to an end. He swallows and puts the patch on trying not to look at those eyes looking so hurt and desperate.

“D-does it hurt much?” Uruha mumbles and starts packing the first aid kit again making sure not to look at DooJoon.

“No” DooJoon mutters “Not compared with how my heart feels”

Uruha closes his eyes “DooJoon…”

“You don’t have to say anything” DooJoon looks away “I already know” he wipes his eyes and takes a deep breath “I’m sorry”

“I know” Uruha mumbles finding his hands holding on to DooJoon’s shirt’s sleeve ever so lightly that he hadn’t even noticed it. He quickly lets go and hugs himself not sure what to do.

DooJoon sits up and turns his head to look at Uruha “You are a good person Uruha, the best really and you do deserve the best and I’m not it… I know that” he wipes away another tear and sniffs “I’m honored that you fell for me and I’m sorry I didn’t show how much it meant to be but I just didn’t see… I was too full of myself and too proud and I’m just so sorry for being such an idiot”

“Don’t… apologize” Uruha looks away “I’m not that great so stop saying that and I fell for that proud, cocky idiot so don’t talk bad about him” he smiles a little and glances at DooJoon who looks like he feels even worse than before if that is possible.

DooJoon swallows a lump and looks at his hands. He is in love, there is no doubt in his mind about that. He closes his eyes “I’ll go” if Uruha wants him to leave he will. From now on he will do anything to make sure Uruha is happy and if he isn’t happy with him staying he won’t.

He stands up supporting himself against the wall. He starts on his way towards the door. Every step feels like he is carrying a ton and it pains him more and more the further he gets away from Uruha.

Uruha looks after him with a breaking heart. It just pains him to watch DooJoon leave. He never thought he would let him go if he had the chance to be with DooJoon.

His heart gets the best of him and he jumps up running over to DooJoon and hugs him from behind “Don’t go” he mumbles in a very low voice. His arms around DooJoon’s chest tightens and he holds on to his own arms tightly

DooJoon stops on the spot and turns his head seeing Uruha hiding his face in the back of his shoulder “But you said…”

“I know…” Uruha mumbles lightly muffled by the shirt “I just…” he holds DooJoon tighter. DooJoon turns his face back ahead and Uruha places his forehead against the back of DooJoon’s head.

DooJoon moves his hands back gathering them behind Uruha’s back so they are holding each other close without actually holding each other. Their arms might be around the other but they are holding on to themselves.

Uruha breathes deeply making his chest press against DooJoon’s back. DooJoon breathes heavier just from feeling Uruha close. His heart is beating faster “You told me to leave”

Uruha nods lightly

DooJoon swallows “Why did you stop me?”

Uruha moves his head and kisses the back of DooJoon’s “I love you”

DooJoon closes his eyes tight feeling his tears building up “But you still want me to go”

 “Why is this so hopeless?” Uruha mutters softly with his eyes closed. The tears keep moving down his cheeks quietly

DooJoon has his eyes slightly open silently letting the tears fall “I don’t know” he looks up towards the ceiling “Could you ever trust me?” his voice is no more than a whisper

Uruha opens his eyes a little as well “I don’t know…. Do you really think you could change?”

DooJoon swallows a lump and looks back down “I’d like to think so”

A small smile appears on Uruha’s lips, not because he is happy to hear that but because at least DooJoon is realistic. He isn’t just promising stuff.

“Uruha…” DooJoon frowns “I’m really sorry about not considering your feelings”

“It’s okay” Uruha breathes deeply. The tears still slowly moving down his cheeks

“No it’s not” DooJoon closes his eyes tight and frowns hard forcing more tears out of his tired eyes “Wait for me Uruha”

Uruha moves his head and looks at DooJoon’s profile. DooJoon turns his head lightly and opens his eyes a little without looking at Uruha “Give me some time to change. I know it is a lot to ask but if you could just do that… you’ll make me the happiest guy in the world… even though I don’t deserve it”

Uruha frowns and clenches his jaw. He would love to just say off course but something is stopping him “DooJoon after this… after all you have said… if I try to believe in you and I see you with a girl… I don’t know if I can handle it”

DooJoon turns his head back ahead and nods “Okay…” he frowns and cries a bit harder. He didn’t know he had scarred Uruha that bad. He breathes deeply “Okay… don’t wait… I’m not giving up” he turns his head and catches Uruha’s eyes seeing the hurt as Uruha quickly looks away. He really doesn’t want DooJoon to know how much he is hurting.

DooJoon removes his hands from behind Uruha’s back and reluctantly removes Uruha’s arms from himself. Uruha lets his arms drop and he looks down to the side. DooJoon stands with his back straight and looks at the broken Uruha in front of him “You’ll see”

Uruha lets his eyes move towards DooJoon without actually looking at him. DooJoon wipes away the tear that had just started down his cheek. He thought he could be strong but he just wants Uruha’s arms around him again.

“Could you look at me one last time before I leave?” he softly pleads

Uruha takes a deep breath and looks up at DooJoon meeting his eyes.

DooJoon feels a rush of feeling going through his body, his heart aches for nearness and he feels sparks igniting his desire. He takes a step forward and grasps Uruha’s chin forcing a kiss on him before stepping back “Sorry” he smiles shyly “I couldn’t help it” he turns and walks towards the door leaving Uruha stunned behind.

Once the door closes and DooJoon is gone Uruha moves a hand up to his lips. He can still feel DooJoon’s lips against his own. He sighs and walks into his bedroom falling flat on his stomach “I can’t believe I just let him leave…” he frowns hating himself for actually hoping DooJoon will change “Don’t burn me DoonDoon. I have been burned too many times”

DooJoon is not heading home just yet. He has caught a taxi and is on his way to another part of town. He looks out the window at the sunrise realizing that a new day has begun but he isn’t tired. His fingers are nervously turning his bracelet and he is frowning. It took every bit of selfcontrol he had to walk out of Uruha’s place but he did it. Once he had closed the door it was a bit easier but even now when he is still moving further away his heart aches to be back in Uruha’s apartment. He his lips thinking of that last kiss he had the nerves to steal.

“We are here” the driver announces and DooJoon pays him and gets out. He watches the taxi drive away and the turns his attention to the building behind him. He takes a deep breath before walking over to the intercom where he presses a button he has pressed so many times.

It takes a while but DooJoon just keeps pressing the button until a very angry voice snaps through the intercom “WHAT!”

“It’s DooJoon let me in”

This is actually my favorite chapter so far.. I think it is sweet xD