“Baekhyun, get your out here RIGHT NOW!”

I slink to the floor, running my hands through my hair. There’s a tissue box sitting next to me, and my legs are covered in the very sheets I slept in last night.

The ones I slept in with Chanyeol.

He thinks I’m filthy. He doesn’t love me.
I was stupid to think anyone could love me.

I wrap my arms around my knees and bring them into my chest.

Thinking about him hurts.

I rub my eyes, staring at my hand as I notice there’s a massive splodge of eyeliner running up and down my finger, even in underneath my fingernail.

“Byun Baekhyun!”

“What?”

“GET OUT OF THE CABIN NOW!”

Wow, Suho’s gotten pretty angry.

“Baekhyun, please!” Luhan comes, knocking on the door gently.

“Chanyeol’s missing! He was really upset, and he ran off! It’s getting dark and we can’t find him anywhere near the campsite. Please!”

I press my hand against the wall, dragging myself up. There’s a small mirror by the doorway, and I look into it.

I look like .

“BAEKHYUN IF YOU DON’T COME OUT WE’LL KICK THE ING DOOR DOWN!” Kris screams.

As if on cue, there’s a loud slam and the door comes off its hinges, almost knocking me in the forehead.

“JESUS CHRIST!” I shout, jumping back.

“Oh…”

Tao stands in the doorway, his foot outstretched.

“There was no need to kick the ing door down,” I explain pointedly, surprisingly composed.

“I was coming.”

“ BAEKHYUN!” Kai screams in my ears.

“Actually, you look like .”

“LANGUAGE!” Sehun growls. Everyone ignores him, and Luhan pulls me into a bear hug.

“It’ll be alright,” he whispers in my ear, and I shiver.

Too close.

I push him off me, giving myself a metre of space.

“Oh… sorry…” he mumbles. I shake my head.

“No, I should be the one that’s sorry. I just… I have trouble with these things.”

“But not around Chanyeol,” Chen points out.

I let out a frustrated sigh. Chen’s right. No matter how much I hate to think it, Chen’s right.

“What were you saying about Chanyeol before?” I ask, running a hand through my fringe, trying to get myself at least a little presentable.

“He ran away. He thought you didn’t love him, so he ran away. Now we can’t find him,” Tao says in his broken Korean.

“HE WHAT?”









I run through the forest, my warm, heavy coat wrapped tightly around my slight form, my neck covered by a scarf. I blink back snow and tears as I run, my hand shaking with each step.

It’s freezing.

I recognized Chanyeol’s warm coat was still sitting in his pile of stuff, which is probably now ruined by snow, back at the campsite. He’s probably only got a thin jumper on, and those ugly black jeans that he always wears but always manages to look so attractive in.





“Chanyeol?” I call.







Nothing.









I breathe out frantically, watching, as a thin steam seems to exit my mouth with each exhale.

I need to find him.

I almost trip over a fallen branch, my breath catching in my lungs as I notice a familiar piece of fabric caught on the branch. I let my torch run across the ground around me, but all I see is a mix of brown semi-frozen slosh and pine needles.

The trees are tall around me, and it feels like they’re closing in; the branches covering up the sky above.

It’s too cold for him; he’s probably freezing to death! And if that branch before was any indication to his current predicament, he’s injured.


“Baekhyun! Slow down!”

I grunt, turning around.

They’re all following, stumbling around on the frozen ground. Luhan’s wrapped in Sehun’s arms, Tao in a similar position with Kris, Kai is basically resting on Kyungsoo’s back, Suho’s got a hand on Lay’s shoulder leading him along, Chen with Xiumin…

It leaves me. Alone.

But I’m not alone, I tell myself. I’ve got Chanyeol.







I love Chanyeol…







It hurts…












“Chanyeol?” I call again, louder still. My ears prick up when I hear a familiar deep voice, a cry of ‘help’. I run, stumbing around in the snow and the cold, until I feel like I've got nothing left to give. Then I push harder.


“CHANYEOL!”

I rush over to the nearest tree, dropping the torch on the sodden ground. There’s a pile of snow, a pile stacked higher than the rest of the snow that I can find here on the ground.

I begin using my gloveless hands to shift it away, hissing in agony as the cold gets in underneath my fingernails. Soon, I’ve worked my way through enough snow, revealing what’s left of my tall, lanky, troublesome but oh so attractive boyfriend. Perhaps now, ex-boyfriend.

The only one I trusted…

He’s got blue lips, his skin pale and cold. His eyes are closed, and my heart beats loudly in my chest as I expect the worst.





It’s my fault.









“,” Sehun breathes. Sehun never, ever swears.

Kris curses under his breath, releasing Tao and wrapping his arms underneath Chanyeol’s, dragging him out of the snow. He presses his index and middle finger to Chanyeol’s neck, sighing as he drapes him over his shoulder.

“He’s still alive, but only just,” he huffs out, taking his jacket off and removing Chanyeol’s, swapping them over. He lets Chanyeol’s jumper lie in the snow, and begins walking backwards.

“Duizhang! You’ll freeze!” Tao exclaims, running over to the blonde. Kris chuckles, signaling for him to come closer.

“Not if you warm me up,” he says, placing his lips on the younger’s nose. Tao swats him away with a blush, huddling close to Kris.

“Let’s go!” Kris exclaims. I sniffle, dragging myself closer to Chanyeol, picking up his jumper. I take my own jacket off, wrapping it around Chanyeol’s head, until I’m satisfied that he’s regaining some warmth from it.

I am asked constantly if I feel cold at all, but I have no words. I drag my feet along, my arm holding Chanyeol on the opposite side of Kris, possessively.






It’s all my fault; I deserve this.