“Shut up Sehun!” I yelled, scanning my way through the many tabs that I had opened up over the course of the past five hours off my Tumblr account.

Stupid celebrities and their stupid flawless faces.

You need to get a life, Park Chanyeol.

SHUT UP BRAIN!

“Chanyeol! I said, get your in here!” I groaned, jumping out of my chair and stomping out into the kitchen of our small apartment.

“What?” He gave me a condescending stare and pushed a bowl of plain rice before me. It didn’t look too appetizing.

“Seriously Chanyeol, you’re older than me. You should be looking after me, not me looking after you.” I shrugged and sauntered back off to my room.
“Oh, and Kai’s coming over in about half an hour.”

I groaned and slammed my door, commando rolling over my bed flinging the rice everywhere.  Who needs food when you can blog the face of flawless K-pop stars for hours?

“Chanyeol!” I rolled my eyes and petted the screen of my laptop. Flawless. Flawless.

ASDFGHJKL!

It is not even creepy in the slightest that I have been scanning the Byun Baekhyun tag for the past three months of my life, ever since that flawless being debuted from JYJ Entertainment.
God.

No, I’m pretty sure I’m just a loyal fan, well I suppose fanboy.

AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! I remind myself.

Are you sure about that?

Brain, shut up already. I don’t want to hear your condescension.

Hmmm, condescension. Would you like me to remind you that whenever you go outside people ask you if you’re mentally retarded?

Shut up brain. Just stop it. You know that this is why instead I flap my arms in front of my Macbook Pro. And yeah es, scrolling with two fingers!

“CHANYEOL!!!”

“Ugh, what is it now!” I yell back.

“Kai’s here, and he’s brought a friend.” I roll my eyes for what seems like the twenty-seven-billionth time today.

WHY CAN’T I BLOG IN PEACE?

I crane my neck around from my hunched over position and pick bits of rice off my shirt. I could try and look presentable, I mean this person could be attractive.

I curse myself for thinking that.

No brain, we are not allowed to cheat on Baekhyun Oppa.

But…

NO!

I trudge out of my room for only the second time today, even though it’s about 7:30 at night. I haven’t slept for about a week and my face look like someone’s attempted to bash my eyes into the back of my skull.

“Why do I even have to come out!” I moan, throwing my arms up in the air in exasperation. “I can’t even. Don’t want to.”

Brilliant. That was some of the most intelligent Korean you’ve ever spoken.

Again with the condescension?

I look up so I can glare at Kai, but I have directed it at his friend accidentally. A friend that looks remarkably familiar.

There is a smile.

Gulp.

No, this cannot be happening.

What. What. WHAT?

Park Chanyeol, sometimes I wonder if you even have a brain, but then I remember that your brain is me…

“Ugh. I. Ugh.”

I make a sound like a walrus in labour and bash my head against the doorframe, my ridiculously long limbs flailing about haphazardly.

I am once again cursed by my genetic bad luck as my right eye crinkles up and squints at the famous idol before me.

“Excuse me while I go pee.” I announce to the room, running off to my bedroom and bashing my knee against the wall at the same time. I grunt and wail.

“Chanyeol, the bathroom isn’t that way!” Sehun remarks loudly.

Real smooth.

I SAID SHUT UP! WHY WON’T YOU JUST DISAPPEAR??

I find myself screeching like a pterodactyl in front of my laptop screen, my fingers typing away quickly in a completely random rhythm.

“ERMAHGERRRD GUYS CAN YOU BELIEVE BYUN BAEKHYUN IS SITTING IN MY KITCHEN ON MY STOOL AND OMFG I MUST LOOK LIKE AN ACTUAL RETARD TO HIM RN!!”

I quickly post it.

Great. Now cyberspace will think you’re more of a retard than they already think you are.

I’m going to ignore you now.

“Ugh, can I come in?” There is a knock on the door.

That voice… Byun Baekhyun.

“Ugh, maybe.” My eyes skim my walls.

.

Byun Baekhyun’s face is everywhere, watching me from all angles. I close down Tumblr, at least that might make me look normal-ish.

…But then my desktop background also happens to be Byun Baekhyun.

He’s going to think you’re a stalker. He’s going to slowly back out of the room, make a break for the door, set the house on fire and kill you before you make nasty obsessive offspring with a peanut.

The door is pushed open and the idol gasps.

“Wow, Kai said you were one of my biggest fans, but I wasn’t really expecting this.”

Fan? More like creeper.

“I SAID SHUT UP BRAIN!”

Byun Baekhyun stands there, staring at me.

“Why did I say that aloud? Why am I still speaking and thinking? WHY IS THIS MY LIFE?”

Byun Baekhyun chuckles, and sticks his arm around my neck.

“You’re an interesting person, Park Chanyeol.”

My mouth opens and closes repeatedly. I must look like some kind of deranged fish gasping for air.

You do.

“So, Park Chanyeol. Want to hang out sometime?”

What.

What.

WHAT?

“Uh I uh I uh WHAT!?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

It takes my brain quite a bit longer to register that Byun Baekhyun has left the room.

“What just happened?” I ask myself aloud.

If this is a dream, I don’t want to get woken up.

What if it is?

“PISS OFF BRAIN!”

“LANGUAGE!” Sehun shouts from the other room.

“Eep.” I squeak.

It takes a while for me to make my way into the living room where the other boys have already set up a stack of video game consoles and are egging each other on on some random fight video game.

“Hi, I’m Park Chanyeol.” I finally verbalise as I sit next to Byun Baekhyun.

Good, now you’re actually being polite.

He smiles one of his flawless smiles, and I am blown away by the upward tug of his lips.

…And then distinctly reminded that I want to smash a piano in his face because of his goddamn flawlessness.