Chapter 5 – Who pulled the trigger? Part 4

July 23^rd 2012

The least people that I ever expected to stab me are my members but I guessed wrong. Very wrong. If you hate me, Hwa. Fine.

Jiyeon pushed her phone aside after their 2 hour rehearsal for their Budokan concert.

“Have a little determination would you?” Eunjung said to Hwayoung as they entered the cooling room.

Hwayoung sighed a little and said, “What do you expect Unnie? Dance a like Jang Woo Hyuk in this cast?!” she yelled.

“Hwayoung ah!” Soyeon yelled back to Hwayoung.

“Everybody just calmed down! I know we are tired to the utter most exhausted but there’s no need to get under everyone’s skin!” Soyeon yelled strictly to the 7 girls ahead of us.

Eunjung just rolled her eyes.

Every single faces in that room was a complete portrayal of annoyance. Everybody is tired and exhausted. Everybody get easily annoyed even with the slightest things.

“You know, if I have determination like you, Unnie. I could dance but right, I don’t have any.. I forgot!” Hwayoung said one last thing to Eunjung before leaving.

“Well, mind your attitude! What the hell is wrong with you? Lately you’re acting rude!” Eunjung said.

“Oh come on! I just asked for everybody to calm 2 freaking seconds ago! Fine, just fight and kill each other!” Soyeon drank her water and took a seat by the corner.

“Oh wait no! You guys have been acting rude to me since I got here! Every single one of you! Treating me like I was nobody in the group!” Hwayoung snapped.

“Oh shut up Ryu Hwayoung! You yourself is a two-faced moron!” Jiyeon got into the picture.

Hwayoung glared at Jiyeon but ignored her.

“I can’t dance with my ankle like this! Look! wait, you guys don’t care! You guys never care about my feelings! You guys only care for six of you! I’m an outcast and I’ve been feeling like this for the past 1 year and a half! Look at me! Did anybody of you came to my house to cared for me! NO! You guys just keep on saying, you need to dance! At least show up on the stage! I don’t want to! Why! because I don’t want to ruin you six perfect harmony!” Hwayoung let it all out of her chest.

Eunjung looked at her with absolute disbelief, and for very seldom of her, Eunjung started having tears in her eyes. She never thought her baby maknae would ever feel outcasted and not loved. She felt like she have gave enough love to everybody.

“You know how much I love you...” Eunjung tried to continue but got choked up by her own tears and turned around to wipe away her tears.

Hwayoung started choking up too, “Well, I don’t feel that...”

“So you feel outcasted? What nonsense are you talking about?” Boram tried to clear the misunderstood she had in her head that moment.

“Yes, I feel that all the time! You guys are stuck with each other like 6 packs of gum while I’m just there..” Hwayoung started crying.

There was an obvious disappointment painted on Boram’s face that time. She can’t believe what she’s hearing. Qri only stayed silent, what more Areum.

Soyeon on the side, hid her falling tears.

Hyomin, who was standing outside, hearing every single word said by Hwayoung, felt guilty to Hwayoung ever feeling like that. She started crying, but quickly wipe it off.

It was as if time stopped for the girls that time. Everybody was having flashback moments of how they had treated Hwayoung to make her feel what she felt. Everybody took a step back to look back on the past roads, to make sure they didn’t leave any bumps on Hwayoung.

The next day was their last day of rehearsal. Nobody talked to anybody. They just did what they have to do.

When it was lunch time, everybody took their own solitude place and away from any members, expecially Hwayoung who sit the farthest.

Hyomin who was continuosly disappointed by Hwayoung’s actions of not wanting to talk to her, wht more to look at her.

Soyeon who were witnessing her members, felt as if the ship had sunk in her heart. She felt irresponsible and stupid for letting her members fought that bad. So, she decided to take matter on her own hands.

“Yeoboseyo, sajangnim?” Soyeon gave a call to CCM’s CEO, Kim Kwang Soo.

Soyeon explained every single thing of what happened last night and asked diligently for her CEO to clear the matter up. She cant bear seeing her members in this kind of state.

That day ended fast and here comes the day of the concert.

The girls threw away their tears and wore masks of smiles and happiness.

They played and giggled on stage. Trust whoever saying this, if you were one of the crowd that night, you couldn’t see anything except pure love and friendship.

Hyomin was disappointed after coming home from the set of her new drama, The Thousandth Man. People are just lazy sometimes. Sigh.

 “The differences in levels of determination^^, Let us all have more determination. Fighting!!!”

Hyomin tweeted that, in a mannerful way. Let’s hope my cast don’t get all sensitive. it is true though.

Suddenly Hyomin got a reply,

 “The differences in levels of determination ^^, Always be humble ^^ and sensible ^^ I applaud you, acting genius ^^”

It was Jiyeon. Suddenly Hyomin got a bad feeling.

Soon, Eunjung also tweeted.

 “A position can make or break a person, but determination can make a person too. Sigh, it’s unfortunate. You have to know to take care of the people around you.”

Wait, this is going the wrong way, Hyomin thought. Hyomin got a feeling that maybe her baby Hwayoung will get insulted.

And she was right. Hwayoung tweeted an indirect reply.

 “Sometimes, even determination alone is not enough. At times like these, I feel upset but I trust that it’s a blessing in disguise from the heavens. God, you know everything right?”

No, Hwayoung no!

Hyomin ah, you pulled the trigger, the little voice in the back of her head said.

No.