Two weeks later...

Kevin's P.o.V


    The lukewarm water runs down my body. I don't know for how long; neither I care. It might be mere minutes since I got under the shower and left the hundreds of droplets rake on my skin, but it might be longer. My eyes stare on the black and white tiled wall, the water trails over my face, obscuring my vision, but I don't mind it. My thoughts are elsewhere.
    Tomorrow is our last concert; it's when we'll wrap our Japanese Zepp tour and it'll be my last day with Jaeseop.
    I close my eyes and lean my head on the wall. The day's tiredness is washing away together with the foam on my body. My heart feels tight for days now, but as the time for Jaeseop's upcoming leave is nearing the tightness worsens and I feel like a piece of it is being ripped apart. I've tried to get as much as I could from my time with him, the good moments in like a sponge in water and it still isn't enough for me.
    It stresses me out just thinking how much I've become dependent on being with him. How much I love hearing his voice calling my name in the morning when he's still half asleep. How much I like it when we're sitting on the couch doing nothing but being together, and how much fun we have. And it terrifies me, because now I don't know how I'll get used to not being with him 24/7 and it freaks me out when I try to remember how I've spent my time before we started dating but can't think of anything as enjoyable.
    He has become such a big part of my life in such a small period of time.
    Jaeseop will leave the day after tomorrow and I'll be left here busying myself with group activities while he'll be away, studying, meeting new people and seeing new things. Without me. And I know that there is no use in me worsening everything with all those dark, lonely thoughts. There is no use in me staying in here, thinking, while I could be spending time with him.
    I my head on the tiled wall and turn off the water. Getting out of the shower, I wrap a towel around myself and make my way hastily to the bedroom and get dressed and go to him. I open my room's door and wave at Hoon who passes by me on my way to the living room and I find him there, sat on the floor in a cross-legged position scribbling things on a notebook. Kiseop is sitting beside him, pointing out and suggesting things to him every now and then. AJ looks up and smiles to me.
    “What are you doing there?” I ask them as I flop down on the couch behind them and fold one leg under my body.
    “Writing down some of the things I have to pack once I'll get to Korea.” Jaeseop explains and writes down something Kiseop have reminded him of.
    “A-bloods!” I exclaim faking an exasperated tone, but I can't hide the small smile on my lips.
    “We're not like you 0's who leave everything in the air.” Jaeseop teases me and laughs when he receives a light kick on his shoulder.
    "You, Kiseop?" I ask my friend and lean back on the couch, propping my head on my palm.
    "Twitter."
    This makes me furrow my eyebrows. No, Kiseop signing in Twitter isn't weird nor his monosyllable answer is, but something in his whole attitude lately is wrong. It's something subtle, something small, but it's there. Like, when he smiles it's not his usual care-free smile. It doesn't light up his eyes like it used to and it worries me.
    Eli on the other hand seems to cling more and more onto him. He's overprotective, he's stressed out whenever Kiseop was away from him and he never lets anyone else except us to get close to his boyfriend; the unlucky person who even as much as looks at Kiseop's direction for a second longer would receive the most deadly of Eli's glares.
    Of course, I know about their little adventure, but I'm sure there are things only him and Eli know and it's what contributes in their odd behaviour lately. While they should be all over each other they're anything but that. Okay, they are spending most of their free time together; standing glued beside each other, sitting together on the couch, cooking together or doing various things like these and I can see them relax while in each other's company, but the few times I stumbled upon them and Eli was trying to initiate a kiss; Kiseop would freeze and go rigid while Eli would just sigh and say something along the lines of 'it's okay, I'm sorry' and kiss the redhead on the forehead, the cheek, the nose; anywhere but the lips.
    What had really happened to them that night that made them act like that?
    I stare sceptically at Kiseop for a while before I make the decision to finally ask him.
    "Kiseoppie?" The ulzzang hums but doesn't avert his eyes from his phone. "Is everything alright?" Kiseop tenses instantly and his fingers pause over the screen of his cell-phone.
    A quiet sliver of time passes where I notice Jaeseop turn to look at him too, full with curiosity for the dancer's answer, before Kiseop turns and smile to me a little too sweetly for it to be real.
    "Yes, Kevin-ah, why?" He drawls and, even though I can't easily catch the slight tremble of his voice, it's there.
    "It's just that you and Eli late-"
    "Everything's alright, Kevin. Don't worry." Kiseop says, a serious expression appearing suddenly on his face as he gets up from the floor, stretches and yawns. "I'm gonna go to bed now. Good night!" He smiles and waves at as and makes his way out of the living room in a few big strides, leaving me staring dumbfounded at the spot he was standing just mere seconds ago.
    "Did he just...?" I point at the air, to the direction Kiseop left from and look open-mouthed at Jaeseop who sighs and turns infront of him again.
    "Yes, he did."
    "But why?"
    "Because he knows something's wrong and he doesn't want to talk about it. It's their problem anyway." He answers logically and I kick him gently on his shoulder because his logic pisses me out from time to time.
    "You know!" I accuse him and kick him again.
    "I can't write if you continue kicking me!" He complains but laughs when I kick him again. "Kev, stop that."
    "No, 'till you tell me what you know!"
    My foot reaches out for yet another time but the hit never lands as his hand grabs my ankle and I feel him pulling forcefully my leg. A shriek leaves my lips as I slide down the couch and land on the floor on my beside him.
    "Aw! That hurt!" I whine and rub my rear.     
    "You deserved it!" Jaeseop chuckles, making me pout and punch his upper arm.     Suddenly I find myself flat on my back between the coffee table and the couch with him hovering over me.     
    "If it hurts that bad;" He smirks and I feel like he's the predator and I'm his pray. "let me kiss it better."     
    My answer is muffled by his lips and I get lost into the senses his kiss creates in me, savouring every moment of it.

        ​                                                                                 ~*~

Kiseop's P.o.V.


    I can hear the tiny digits of my wristwatch ticking the minutes away as I lay awake in bed. Eli, behind me, was already asleep by the time I came into the room hours ago. I tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position but to no avail. My mind was being bombarded with unsettling thoughts, making me unable to sleep.
    I had lied earlier to Kev. He was right, something is wrong with me and Eli. Something is going on and that something is me.
    Eli had been so good to me these past weeks, been understanding. He, not even once, had tried to push me further when I froze into our kisses. He only sighed and I could see he was sad, but sad for me and worried. He worries all the time. Tried taking care of me, trying to keep me safe- to make me feel safe. And I acted so egotistically, I couldn't stand myself. It killed me- kills me- denying his kisses and I feel bad for making him worry so much.
    Eli from behind me emit a constricted sound and I can hear his breath becoming uneven and laboured before he suddenly leave out a gasp and I hear him murmur a breathy 'Oh God' that's been followed by low rustle as he -from what I suggest- drags one hand over his face, a move he's doing more and more these days.
    Silence falls again in the room and I'm hating myself for not finding the guts to turn and comfort him; take him into a hug and chase away the nightmare he obviously had.
    I can feel him relaxing after a couple minutes and turn on his side, his strong arm snaking around my waist.
    "Why still awake?" he asks, his voice hoarse, and leaves a feather-like kiss on the back of my neck that make shivers run down my spine.
    "I couldn't sleep." I murmur after a while.
    He doesn't ask. He doesn't say anything. He just rests his forehead between my shoulder blades while his fingers grip slightly on my belly.     
    Why is he so understanding? Why can't he just yell at me that I'm being selfish, drowning myself and him in a sea of self-pity? Why is he so good to me?
    I can't take it anymore!
    "Stop it!" I say. My voice an angry whisper.
    He murmurs a soft 'sorry' starting withdrawing his arm from around me and I grip it tightly and turn around so I'm face to face with him.
    "Stop it." I say again. "Stop being so patient. Stop being so worried. Stop-..." I look intently into his eyes. "Just stop."
    "Kiseop, I-I don't understand." he shakes his head and I can feel the uneasiness flow out of his body.
    I take a deep breath and start talking, saying everything that I have in mind days now without letting myself think it over again.
    "I'm sorry. I just... I don't like making you feel like that. I don't like acting like that." I brush my fingers on his lips that I miss so much. "I want to accept your kisses and I want to feel you like before and... every time you try to kiss me, but I freeze and you just kiss my forehead, it-" I swallow the lump in my throat. "I feel bad for denying you. And I hate myself for freaking out and- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I feel a tear slide from my eye and I close them tightly. "and I'm hating that you have to see me cry and-" a sob leaves my lips and I bite on them to keep them from trembling. "I love you so, so much."
    I feel Eli's arms wrap around me, dragging me onto him until our bodies are glued together. And I sense his lips tracing my face, kissing the tears away and this makes me feel even worse because, here I am, having another break down and he just tries to calm me.
    "Shh, my love." he murmurs and another sob escapes my lips and I grasp the sides of his head, tangling my fingers in his hair as I push our foreheads together and clench my eyes tightly. "It's okay, Kiseop. Everything will be alright." he mumbles with this sweet voice of his that I love and hate so much. "We've waited for so long; we can be patient for a bit more, baby."
    "I don't deserve y-ou." I succeed to take out, my voice cracking at the end.
    "Don't talk like this. You're perfect the way you are and I love you and I don't care for anything else as long as we're together. Okay, baby?" I nod and Eli kisses my cheek, his fingers massaging my back, effectively calming me down. "We're here. We're alright." he says and I open my eyes slowly just to see him smile a little at me, tears rolling from his eyes. "We're together." He repeats and I bring my fingers to his face to wipe them away with my thumps.
    Eli kisses my palm and I leave a small grateful kiss on his lips.
    "I love you, Kiseop and nothing's gonna change that." Eli murmurs and pecks my forehead, threading his fingers through my messy hair. "I love you." I mumble as I feel a calmness that I haven't felt in a while wash over my body and myself relaxing into his arms and, before I know it, I'm lost into the most peaceful sleep I've had in days.

        ​                                                                                 ~*~

The next day...

Kevin's P.o.V.


    Today is the day.
    It's a few minutes before the concert begins and chaos is taking over the backstage room. We're all ready.
    Dongho is practicing on a few moves.
    Hoon is running through his lines.
    Kiseop is talking on the phone with his family.     
    Soohyun catch my eye as he pass by, arm draped over Kyo's shoulders, talking with him while a big mischievous smile plays on his lips as he informs him of his master plan.
    Eli's mom is here; she's trying to calm us down, give us strength. I can see Eli smiling from ear to ear, happy to see his mom after all this time, but at the same time he seems to be nervous; he fidgets a lot and his whole face turns pink whenever Kiseop goes near them.
    Kiseop on the other hand stutters a lot, but it's clear he's different from yesterday night. He smiles a lot and plays around more. He seems to be more relaxed, more like his usual self. I feel a part inside me, that I haven't took notice of earlier, calming down as I see him being Kiseop again.
    I hear Jaeseop laugh with something Eli's mom have said and my attention is drown to him. I can't keep back from smiling too, the image of him having his eyes almost fully closed and the little dimples on his cheeks being visible make my heart flatter.
    "5 Minutes!" The stage director pokes his head inside the door and we follow him outside.
    Eli's mom wishes us luck and walks away to go to her seat once she's kissed her son and we move into a circle, putting our hands above one another's and we just stay there, silent, even breathing in sync. We hear the director saying that it's time and we look at each other before we shout 'U-KISS' all together, withdraw our hands and move to take our positions for 'Tick Tack'.
    The opening video ends and the music starts and the crowd cheers. Jaeseop starts his part and I lose myself into the music, the dance.
    It's hours after that I'm shaken back. AJ is announcing his leave for studies abroad and my heart clench. He tries not to cry, to be strong, but he has to pause and will the tears away before he continues, then we start wish him luck and everything and somehow I can keep myself under control, but not even Soohyun -who tries to get the happy mood back- or the happy dance and lines of 'KissMe forever' can take my mind back to the calmness it was before, no matter how much I try.
    We start thanking our fans and it's my turn, but the words can't come out. I know that I'll burst out into tears if I try to speak, I can feel them gathering in my eyes and I bow my head. I feel Soohyun grab me into a hug and AJ from beside me ruffling my hair as it's the only thing he can do right now. Soohyun lets go from me and buys me some time, talking to the crowd. AJ moves behind me and grabs my arms and strangely I feel myself calm down a bit, so I say the lines I had said over and over in my head, thank our fans for coming tonight, for cheering on us and then I turn to AJ and wish him good luck.
    The music for 'A Shared Dream' starts and we start singing it for AJ who's just standing on the side and gulps down and try not to cry.
    Hoon sings his lines and it's my turn. My voice trembles in the beginning, but I quickly gain composure.
    "Becoming slightly uneasy
    I was depressed
    When you’re always watching with your smiling gaze
    I’d just stand and sing"
    The first chorus is over and I feel a tear slide down my eye. I see Jaeseop crying and Soohyun bows his head,  he covers his eyes as he cries. He scrooches down as we continue dancing in the slow rythm of the song and what I can only do is sing and just wait for the song to end.
    The notes follow one another killingly slowly, but the music finally dies down and we exit the stage, we make our way to the backstage room and bow to the stage staff as we pass by them.
    Dongho closes the door as he enters last in the room and I start changing, only us seven being for the meantime in the room. Jaeseop suddenly grabs my hand and moves me into a joined room. He pulls me into a tight hug and, finally, I feel the tears I was holding back pour freely from my eyes as I wrap my arms around him and grip his shirt tightly.
    "I'm going to miss you." he murmurs and kisses my temple.
    A low sob escape my lips and I wait for myself to calm down a little before I say the words I wanted to say to him days now.
    "I love you." Even though I've said them again and he have heard them before, I feel him take a harsh intake of a breath and I look up, meeting his teary, full of happiness, smiling face.
    "Thank you." he murmurs and bent down so his lips will meet mine. Sweet, heart-filled words are being emitted from both of our mouths, between brief, loving kisses. I'm lost in his arms. My tears have stopped 'till now. My heart flutters with every word, every kiss of his.
    "I'll miss you too." I say as he wipes my face with his shirt and kiss my cheek.
    "Of course you'll miss me;" AJ smirks playfully. "you won't have someone to massage you every single night."
    A chuckle escapes my lips and I hide my head in his neck, leaving small kisses on his collarbone.
    "Hmm, you're right. The other members are awful massagers." AJ laughs and card his fingers through my hair, rubbing his nose in them right after and we just stay like this for a while. Lost in our sweet, little world.
    "We have to go out. They'll be here in a while." he murmurs and I hum, but neither of us make a single move to let go of the other until a light knock is heard and we unwillingly separate.
    I rise on my toes to kiss his lips and I his cheek, smiling. My hand and his connect and our fingers tangle as we turn and exit the small room entering the other bigger one where a frantic, nervous Kyo is running around as my fellow members are trying to calm him down -already in their own clothes. I start changing and it's right when I'm finished that the door opens and Soohyun's plan is put into action.


 

E.L.: We're reaching it! I can see it! 

 

Eli:  

E.L.: The finishing line! 

Eli: Ooh! And I still haven't learn how AJ's doing that! 

*puff* AJ/in  AJ/out *puff*

Eli: Well, it's not half-bad. 

E.L.: Thank God. 

E.L.: Ok, ok crumpy cat! Byebyebee minna-san!

Eli lands harshly on the floor: You can teleport too?! 

Kiseop: Of course!