Kibum's POV  

 

The whole walk home with Nicole was horrible.  I actually wanted to walk her home, but she insisted to walk me home, because I seemed so depressed to her and she was worried something could happen to me.  Actually, I wondered  if the whole thing wasn't weird for her.  I mean, which normal guy gets upset as his brother could have a one night stand.  " Okay, Nicole you can go now. " I said a few blocks away from my house.  " No, I'll take you HOME. " She said and emphasized the word home.  " Ugh, okay. "  I mumbled back.   My eyes wandered down onto the grey pavement once again and I felt the oh so familiar bitter tears well up in my eyes.  I tried to hold them back, but I wasn't strong enough to push them back.  I freed them by pressing my eyelids together, also stopping in  all my movements just to stand motionless in the dark and empty street.  Nicole stopped after she walked about a meter further and I felt her gaze on me as my sobs broke the silence of the night.  " K-Kibum... " She stuttered softly and I heard her steps approach me before feeling her hand caressing my shoulder.  " Hey, what's wrong ? "  I brought my right hand up to my face, covering my mouth and nose, breathing heavily into it.   " Is it...because of Jonghyun ? "     I didn't reply with words I just nodded and continued shedding tears, whimpering as I felt her arms snake around my trembling body.  Her embrace calmed me down a bit and I pressed my head onto her shoulder, wetting her blazer with my still flowing tears.  It was kind of embarrassing  for me to cry in front of a girl that hard, because of my ing brother.  " Hey, do you want me to come in with you when we reach your house and you can tell me what is bothering you ? " She asked me drawing circles on my back with her hand.  I nodded again, because I knew my voice would crack as I tried to talk.  She grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze before she began to drag me home, because I was so slow. 
  At home I carefully unlocked the front door and stepped in, whispering to Nicole that she has to be silent, because my parents were already sleeping.  She scurried into my room while I was locking the door, grabbed me some paper tissues in the kitchen, snorted into them and threw them in the trash before washing my hands.  I then shuffled to my room and walked to my bed after closing the door, plopping down next to Nicole who was already waiting.  She moved to the middle of the bed and pattered the empty space in front of her, asking me to sit there.  I sighed and did what she wanted.  " So Kibum, what happened, why...are you like that ? " She asked me, voice filled with worry.    Should I tell her about me and Jonghyun ?  Should I really risk that she might tell it someone ?  No.  I can't do this.  I have to lie.  For Jonghyun...me...for everyone...    " We fight a lot these days and I feel like I'm losing him. " I told her.  It wasn't actually a lie, but also not the full truth.  " Is there a reason for your fights ? "  " Not a specific one... " I lied, kneading the sheet I was sitting on.  I sighed and got into a little bit more comfortable position. " I actually tried to stop our fights, but I just messed it up again by doing stupid things. It hurts me to see that he's upset and sad because of me. We really love each other you know. " I said, actually saying the truth again, but of course it sounded different to her, she wouldn't think about me and Jonghyun having a relationship just like that. Of course not.  " Should I talk to h