One miserable month had passed. Day by day, I was getting weaker. My love came, just as suddenly as it started, it ended. Every day, I’ll lock up in my bedroom. Looking out through the window.

              One day, as I curled up by the window, a real rumble of thunder pounded at the window pane and was soon followed by a downpour. Thick raindrops tapped at the window as the wind grew stronger. I could feel the darkness deepening around me, wrapping itself around this lonely house.

My cheeks felt cold. All my tears had turned to ice behind my eyes.

                There’s no news about Dongwoon. No news about the guys. When we come to Seoul and visit their apartment, mum wouldn’t let me go and asked to me stay in the car. She wouldn’t tell me anything when I asked about them. She’ll just walk away from my question, turn a deaf ear. Why? Why wouldn’t she understand?

                What sort of things that I had done in my previous life to be punished like this? I thought that my sorrowful life back in my country had end. But now it’s getting worse. Tormenting and crushing me deep inside.

                “Oh no. Honey, you’re sick.” Mum held on my forehead, feeling my hot temperature. “I’ll get you some medicine. Don’t move too much.”

                I stared at her with my tired look, sealed off my chapped lips, laid my head on the window still. Looking out the rain drop slowly flowing down on the glass and closed my puffy and swollen eyes. This is just a bad dream. I told myself. Just a bad dream...

......................................

                One evening, there’s a knock on my door. “Come in.” I said with my tiny voice.

                Appa swung open the door with his concern look. He seems to understand me better than mum. Slowly, he pulled a chair and sat beside my bed.

                “Listen dear,” he closed his hand and leaned down. “I know that you feel lonely, empty. But you can’t stay up like this. You can’t just lock yourself in here. There’s a better world out there. Seek your happiness, and you’ll surely found it.”

                My heart started to ached, my tears was uncontrollable. Hot tears rolled down on my cold cheek. “But... Appa-ah. You know how I feel right. I know you do. Please...” my voice shake, my throat choke. I wrapped myself and buried my face.

                “Ne... Geogjeonghaji maseyo (don’t worry)... ” Appa said, hugging me. “Everything will be alright soon.”

                How soon? How long should I wait again? :’(