20 years later

“Honey, are you sure about this? New York isn’t like Seoul. You might get disappointed” I tried to reason with my eighteen year old daughter Iseul. She was on her way to New York to study dance at Julliard. The same school that I went to. The same school that Heechul also went to.

“Mom calm down!” she snapped at me “Just because  your years in New York does not mean that mine will” she replied me angrily “I’m gonna pack the last things” she continued and stormed to her room. I felt my eyes getting misty, this was so hard for me. But then I also felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around me. It was Donghae. The reason why I lived. The love of my life.

Donghae and I had only been an official couple for five months when he asked me to marry him. I of course said yes and another five months later I was Mrs Lee Melissa. It was the happiest I had ever been. And Heechul was almost forgotten. That is the feelings that I had for him, because no one can forget Kim Heechul. That was impossible. Only two years after our wedding we got a little daughter, our little Iseul. Another two years later we got a son Heenim. It was Donghae’s idea that we would name him after Heechul. And to be honest that was one of the sweetest things Donghae has ever done for me. Then after four more years we got another daughter, our tiniest, Nara. And now, twenty two years after Heechul’s dead we were living in a pretty little house in Mokpo. We moved here to take care of Donghae’s mother when Super Junior disbanded. We still see the boys a lot though and both I and Donghae are working with music. Mostly writing songs for SM entertainment.

“She’s young” Donghae soft voice interrupted my thoughts “Don’t take it personal” he continued almost whispering and then he placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

“Will she be alright?” I questioned and turned around in his arms to face him “I mean, it’s New York. It’s such a huge city” I said worriedly.

“Melissa” Donghae started in a soothing voice “She is our daughter and that means that she is half you. So if she holds half the strength that you posses then she will be more than alright” he assured me and caressed my cheek.

“Thanks” I told him and took his hand and kissed it

“I love you” he replied and took my face in his hands and kissed my lips softly

“DAD!!!” Our sixteen year old son Heenim yelled out

“Go” I told Donghae who wrinkled his nose “And I love you too” I said and Donghae smiled widely and walked away. Seeing him smile it was like he had not aged at all during these twenty two years. He was the same little fishy that I had meet during my first days in Seoul. And he was still the love of my life.

“Mom” Iseul interrupted my thoughts “Who is this?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen once again, she held a photograph in her hand and when she reached me she held it out towards me. I looked at the photograph and my eyes widened a little bit in surprise. It was a photograph of me and Heechul. A photograph that Hongki had taken only days before Heechul had broken up with me. I smile weakly looking at it. It was insane that it already had gone twenty two years since his death. In a way it felt like yesterday that it all happened. My memories were so clear. I would never forget it.

“That is Heechul” I told her, it was a long time ago that I had said his name, it felt a little weird “He was a friend of mine, I met him in New York. He went to Julliard as well” I continued but Iseul just looked at me in disbelief.

“Mom I’m eighteen years old. You can tell me the truth you know. I can handle it.” She told me, and she did have a point.

Okay, he was my ex boyfriend and-“ I started but Iseul cut me off before I could continue any further

“Was your ex boyfriend, not is?” she questioned and I nodded

“He died in cancer twenty two years ago” I said and her eyes widened

“Oh...I’m sorry” she said and looked at me sadly

“Yeah...but you know what? Maybe it is time that I tell you mine and your father’s story. Heechul is a big part of it” I said and Iseul looked confused

“Mom I already know your story” she stated “After filing in New York you went to Seoul with Gabbi and then you got a job as Super Junior’s assistant and you and dad fell in love with each other” she said and I smiled

“It did not exactly happen that way sweetheart” I told her and she looked at me wonderingly “Sit down and I’ll tell you everything” I instructed her and she did as she was told and I sat down in front of her by the kitchen table.

“So tell me, the truth” she demanded sounding very serious.

“I met Heechul during my first days at Julliard, he studied music and dance and I studied music and drama, he had almost all of his classes with Gabriella and some with me. And we fell in love. We were together for three years but then he suddenly broke up with me telling me that he was sick and that he did not want to hold me down. Broken I followed Gabriella to Seoul and after two months I got the job as Super Junior’s assistant. I was not stable at all and the guys helped me so much, especially your father. He made me realise that I had to move on and I wanted to move on and I was starting to do so. I had realised that I liked Donghae but the night of our first date Heechul called. We were in Paris for Music Bank and he called Gabriella and told her that he wanted me by his side. He was dying and only had a few days left. I broke down completely and we went to New York immediately. Donghae that fool came with us. But the moment I saw Heechul I knew that I was not over him. It hurt your father a lot because he thought that I was over Heechul. But Donghae refused to leave my side. Heechul died within just a couple of days and I was a mess. I tried to kill myself a several times but, Donghae always saved me, he was always there. He forced me and Gabriella to move into their dorms. He never left my side and he taught me to love again. He got me through day by day. He showed me that love is forgotten with love. And then we got married and got kids and now we’re here twenty two years later. Heechul was a chapter in my life but Donghae is my life. I love your father like crazy and I’m glad that Heechul let me go. Who knows what could have happened if he hadn’t?” I told her and by now I was crying lightly.

“Wow, what drama did you steal that from mom?” Iseul asked me amused.

“What? You don’t believe me?” I wondered, she shook her head.

“Err, no, that is so cheesy mom and so typical for a drama” she told me, and I could understand why she thought that.  

“What is typical for a drama?” Donghae cut in and came walking towards us.

“Dad, did you know that mom had an ex boyfriend who died in cancer but didn’t tell her that he was sick so she went her after he broke up and then she met you and when he died you taught mom how to love again?” Iseul asked chuckling.

“Yes” he replied nodding seriously and Iseul looked at him confused.

“Yes?” she asked

“I was there you know so yeah” he answered and went up to me and back hugged me. Donghae did not like to talk about the past so very much. It was a difficult and painful period for all of us.

“So it’s true!? The cheesy typical drama plot is true!?” Iseul asked a bit shocked.

“Yes it is” Donghae replied her and kissed my cheek before letting me go.

“Oh my god” Iseul held “Mon I’m so sorry” she continued and went up to me and hugged me tightly.

“Don’t worry, it’s the past” I assured her “And you should continue with your packing” I continued but she just looked at me in disbelief

“I can do that later-” she started but I cut her off

“No, I have to go and run some errands anyways, you go and pack sweetie” I said and stood up “I’ll be back in an hour or so” I informed her and left

Iseul’s POV

“Aren’t you gonna go with her dad?” I questioned when mom left, he shook his head and smiled weakly.

“No, she needs to be alone” he told me.

“Are you sure?” I wondered and he nodded.

“Sweetie, I know your mom like the back of my hand, trust me” he said and he was right. But somehow it did not feel good that she was alone after telling me the story about Heechul. She was such a sensitive person. Just like me.

“Okay” I said and then I heard the front door getting closed. It was mom. “Listen, dad, if it’s okay with you then I’ll go and say good bye to some friends now” I continued and stood up, dad looked at me wonderingly.

“Haven’t you already said good bye to everybody?” he questioned, I smiled and shook my head.

“Still a few left, but I’ll be back early, promise” I assured him, he was always so protective about me so he needed to hear that.

“Take care” he told me and I nodded and opened the door.

“I will dad, bye!” I said and went out and closed the door after me. Now I had to hurry. Mom was about five minutes ahead of me. But luck was on my side and I caught up with her by some red lights only a couple of minutes later. Okay, I followed my own mom! I know it is not cool but I had to! She was sad, I could tell.

I followed her on distance and got really surprised when I saw where she was heading. The cemetery? What? I parked my car far away from hers and carefully followed her inside. She stopped by a grave and I hid by some bushes nearby. I could easily see her and I would hear if she were to say something.

“Hi Heechul” she started and I froze. Was he buried here? In Seoul? “It’s been twenty two years now and, I still miss you. Even though I don’t love you like I used to you were still my best friend. And I miss my best friend a lot. I have the love of my life by my side, I have Donghae. But I don’t have you, and that hurts still... I told Iseul about us today. I told her the whole story. She thought that I had stolen it from a drama. And I have to admit that it sounds a bit unbelievable.... I wish you could’ve gotten the chance to meet her. She’s truly amazing. She got all my bad sides and all Donghae’s good sides. She is actually going to New York tomorrow. She is going to study dancing at Julliard, just like you. You really would have loved her and Donghae and I would have made you the god father, to all of our children. Can I ask you to guard over Iseul? I mean, she is going to New York, it’s a big and tough city and I would feel much calmer if I knew that you looked after her.

Everything is going well for Heenim, he wants to be song writer and composer just like Donghae. He looks so much like him, he’s a copy of Donghae. And I love that he has your name. I don’t think that Donghae can ever understand how much that means to me.

And Nara is doing fine as well. She’s a true fangirl, haha. Always finding new groups to fangirl over. Just like me and Gabriella. She looks like me a lot. You would’ve loved her as well.

It’s not fair, I wish you were here... Donghae says hi by the way... I love you. Bye Heechul”

After that my mom placed a pink rose on the grave and walked away crying lightly. I sat behind the bush for a while processing her words. And I caught myself crying. I never knew that my mom had such a painful past. But then I rose and went up to the grave. I started at it for a while before sitting down.

Kim Heechul 1983-2004

The world will never be the same without you...

I took a deep breath before opening my mouth to speak.

“So...hi? I guess” I started a bit unsure, it felt a bit weird to talk to someone that was dead. “I’m Lee Iseul, Melissa’s and Donghae’s daughter, but you probably know that. Well, first of all, I’m sorry for eavesdropping on you and my mom. But as she told you I got to know everything today and I’m also sorry for thinking that she was lying. And I’d also like to thank you, you have answered a lot of questions that have been pestering me for a while now. Like why mom has been so anti about me going to New York and to Julliard. And how she has never wanted to tell me about her time at Julliard. You know stuff like that, stuff about her past, the time before she met dad. But now I know. It was because of you...I wish that I could have gotten the chance to meet you. You must have been an awesome person. I mean, my mom only loves awesome people, well with Eunhyuk as an exception, he is just average. Just kidding and seriously, it is a shame that we never got to meet. But I want to say thanks for another thing. For letting my mother go. Thank you for that. If you hadn’t done that then I would not be here today. And...guard over me, okay? I think that I need it in New York. And I promise to come by and see you next time I’m in Seoul again. Good bye Heechul and thanks again” I took another deep breath when I finished and I was still crying.  I had never met the guy but he was the reason why I lived, the reason why I had my family.

I left the cemetery and quickly went home. Mom was there and dad along with my little brother and little sister. Heechul was the reason that I had them.

“I will never forget you Heechul, thank you” I whispered and then I went to my family. My beloved family. I looked at my mom and dad who were hugging and smiling lovingly at each other.

I guess that Love is forgotten with love after all. And I will never forget about Heechul and what he did. I do not think that anyone will.

Rest in peace Kim Heechul and again, Thank you. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Omg I finished it!!!!!! *cries*

You have no idea how much I have cried writing this story. I feel so horrible for killing my forever bias and replacing him with my second bias. I'm so so so sorry Heechul!!! ANyways, thank you all who have been reading this story. I love all of you and your comments that have made me so happy :) 

Read my other stories, yeah? ;)

Hope you liked this story, it means a lot to me :)

Love you~ and I hope to hear from you again soon~