Melissa’s POV

Heechul’s parent along with Gabbi, Hongki and the rest of the boys decided that it was for the best if I didn’t go to Heechul’s apartment to go through his stuff. I was obviously not ready for that. So when we left for Korea again I hadn’t even been able to go back to Hongki’s apartment. I went to the airport straight from the hospital. It was a hard flight. I cried during most of it, but luckily I had Donghae on one side and now Hongki on the other. He was coming with us for the funeral.

When we came home the boys offered us to come to them and stay at their dorm, they said that all of us could get room. But we declined. I didn’t feel like being around too much people. Hongki and Gabbi were fine for now.  I stayed inside the whole following day. Gabbi had to go to school though; I seriously don’t know how she managed that.  She was broken too; Heechul had been her best friend after all. Hongki stayed with me, he held me in my arms the entire day. Donghae called a several times but I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for one day.

The day after that though was the day of the funeral. I woke up in Hongki’s arms. I really didn’t want to get up from the bed. I really didn’t want to go to that funeral. Going to it would make his death define. And that scared the hell out of me. After the funeral I was never going to see him again. I started crying just by the thought. That of course woke up Hongki.

“Sweetheart, how are you?” he questioned and kissed my cheek softly and tried to dry my tears

“Today is the day” I simply said and he nodded

“Yeah, but we’re here for you and always will no matter what” he told me and I tried to smile “But honey, I talked to Donghae yesterday, he wants you and Gabbi to move into their dorm. And I think that it’s a good idea. I have my life in New York you know, I can’t stay here more than a couple of days even if I wish I could stay much longer so it would make me feel calm if I knew that you were in safe hands. When he asks you again, please say yes” he said and I thought about it. Moving in with Super Junior would be great to be honest. They could probably help me a lot with my mourning.

“Okey, I will” I assured Hongki and he smiled

“Good, but now we have to get ready” he told me and we both got up from the bed

One hour later I was standing outside a small church that was located outside of Seoul. How ironic, Heechul didn’t even believe in god whatsoever and now he was going to be buried here, on the church’s cemetery. There were a lot of people there, some that I knew and some that I didn’t knew. Everybody looked at me with sadness and sympathy in their eyes. They all knew who I was. It made me feel a little bit sick, so many eyes were on me and I was quite uncomfortable about it. I could see in their eyes that they thought they knew how I felt, but they couldn’t even imagine.

“Hey there” Donghae’s soft voice interrupted my thoughts, he stood behind me and when I turned around he went in for a tight hug

“Hi” I whispered and a tear escaped my eyes, Donghae wiped it away with one hand and held me with another

“Wow noona you look awful” Kyuhyun had gone up to us, Donghae looked at him accusing but I knew that he was right

“Yeah”

“Black is not your colour, it looks awful on you” Kyuhyun stated and he was right, black didn’t fit me at all, it made me look pale as a vampire. But it was a funeral, I had to wear black... no wonder everybody felt so sorry for me, now it really showed that I was dying inside after Heechul’s death.

“Kyuhyun please try to be a little sensitive” Donghae told him firmly

“Don’t worry Donghae, he is right, I look awful, can’t you see that?” I wondered, he then looked at me intensely, observing my features and then he shook his head

“No I can’t, I just see an incredibly beautiful but broken woman” he told me, which became too much for me so I buried my face in his chest and started crying, he my back and kissed my hair

“We’ll get through this, I promise, one day” he whispered to me

“It is time Melissa” Heechul’s mom’s voice forced me to pull myself together and go into the church. Heechul’s parents, Hongki me and Gabbi were seated in the very front of the church. I had wanted to have Donghae by my side but at least I had Hongki and Donghae had made sure to sit behind me. Hongki held my hand tightly, he was crying as well.

The priest then started talking about how much of a great person Heechul had been and all that. But I could honestly not listen. I just sat there and concentrated on to not burst into tears. Then the priest asked if someone wanted to say anything. Gabbi looked at me and Hongki but we both shook our heads, she nodded and mouthed “me neither”. Heechul’s parents didn’t want to say anything either.

“I’d like to say a few words if that is okey” it was Donghae that had spoken, I looked at him shocked, what was he up to? He didn’t know Heechul! Why was he doing that?

“Sure” the priest said and made room for Donghae. He took a deep breath before speaking

“Hello my name is Lee Donghae, some may recognize me but that’s highly insignificant today. I didn’t know Heechul at all really. I met him one day and that was in the beginning of this week. The thing is that he and I were in love with the same girl, and I am still, a girl that happens to work with me. When she found out about Heechul I followed her to New York. And there I met Heechul. And I have to say that even though I met him very briefly I came to admire that man very much. He was so brave; he broke up with the love of his life to protect her. I would’ve been selfish and kept her by my side but not him. He was unselfish, I had the privilege to talk to him in private and he told me to take care of his girl, he wanted her to fall in love again and asked me to make that happen. I respect him so much. I after my short acquaintance with him could conclude that he must’ve been an awesome guy. And I’m sad that I didn’t get to know him. But he’s in heaven now, watching us, and I can promise him that we’ll never forget him” that made me cry a river, how amazing is Donghae? I seriously don’t deserve him to love me!

When he came back to his seat he put a hand on my shoulder. I took the hand in mine and kissed it softly.  When the funeral ended they were going to have some sort of dinner, I really didn’t want to go. I didn’t feel like talking to people about how I felt about Heechul’s death. I just wanted to lock myself up in my room and cry.

“Melissa, are you coming?” Heechul’s mom went up to me, I shook my head

“No thanks, I don’t think I can handle it” I replied her honestly, tears were shown in her eyes

“I understand” she said and then she hugged me “Just don’t do anything stupid” she continued, I looked her in the eyes, she was sincerely concerned about me “I won’t handle losing another child” she told me, I knew that I had been like a daughter to her but I didn’t know it was this serious “I really love you Melissa, Heechul would’ve hated what you tried to do. You have to live for him” she said and started to cry

“I’ll try, but I just miss him so much” I told her truthfully

“I know and I guess that’s all I can ask from you, that you try” she said and I nodded

“I love you too” I said, she smiled weakly and hugged me tightly

Then she left and went up to Heechul’s dad. I wasn’t alone for a long time; soon Gabbi and Hongki were by my side. Hongki hugged me and started to cry, that only triggered my own tears and soon both of us were sobbing loudly

“We’re going to the dinner” Gabbi informed me “And what about you?”She wondered

“No” I said, her face twisted

“We’re not leaving you alone” she informed me

“Well I’m not going, I won’t be able to handle all those people feeling sorry for me, thinking that they have any idea about how I feel when they don’t” I said to her and she sighed loudly

“Okey, wait here” she left me in Hongki’s arms, I cried onto his chest and he had buried his face in my neck. Both of us were devastated. He was really gone now. He wasn’t coming back to us now.

“Excuse me” a voice of a female interrupted our crying, we both looked up. Standing in front of us was a tall slim girl. She had milky perfect skin; her hair was straight, pitch black and very long. She had deep chocolate brown eyes and big filly lips. She was wearing a knee long slim black dress that showed off her curves perfectly. She was very beautiful and it made me uncomfortable. How had Heechul known this girl? “I’m Lee Jinah, Mrs Kim said that you were Heechul oppas girlfriend” she continued

“Yeah, I’m Melissa Poynter” I informed her, she tilted her head and observed me

“Well Heechul oppa has always had a weird taste in girls” she said and I looked at her shocked

“How did you know Heechul?” I asked her

“I’m his ex girlfriend, he broke up with me one year before he went to New York, obviously biggest mistake of his life” she said and batted her eyelashes “I can’t believe he wanted you by his side, it’s obvious that he loved me like crazy and only broke up with me because he didn’t want a long distance relationship.” She looked very smug while talking

“If you don’t have anything that makes sense to say then please leave” Hongki cut in angrily

“But I do, I just wanted to tell her not to waste her precious tears for a guy that didn’t even love her” she said, that made me cry again, this girls was so mean, how could she? On the day of his funeral and everything

“He did love me” I protested but she just scoffed at me

“Honey I’m sorry but he didn’t” it was obvious that she was going to continue till she broke me completely

“Then why did he give me this?” I started and removed my black scarf that I’d been wearing, I took my necklace in my hands and pulled it up from behind my dress. I took the ring between my fingers and showed it to her. It was that ring that he had given me that night he broke up with me; I’d been having it on a necklace since he had died. She looked at the ring in shock

“He gave you that?” she gasped “It was his grandmother’s engagement ring” she continued and I nodded

“Yes he did” I replied her coldly

“I can’t believe he gave that ring to someone like you! You didn’t deserve him! You’re not pretty like me! It’s me that should have that ring! Not you!” she yelled at me, her words hit me hard, and I had always known that I wasn’t pretty enough to be with Heechul, the definition of pretty. Now I got it confirmed by someone that had fitted with him perfectly “I can’t believe how he could’ve wanted you, I can’t believe that anyone wants you” she said coldly, Hongki was just about to open his mouth and yell at her when he got beaten to it

“What the hell are you talking about!?” It was Donghae that had been faster, Jinha’s eyes widened when she saw him

“L-Lee Donghae” she stuttered, he ignored her star struck behaviour

“You’re a ! You know that right? How could Heechul not have loved her? She is the most amazing and beautiful girl I know. It’s completely understandable that he gave her that ring. He would’ve been an idiot if he didn’t.” when he had said the last word he gently got me out of Hongki’s arms and wrapped his own firmly around me “This girl is an angel” he then said and leant his forehead to mine. The loving gesture made me feel sick, I wanted to return the love he had for me so bad, but I couldn’t, not now and it hurt me so much. “And now get the hell out of my sight before I do something I will regret” Donghae told Jinah, she looked very shocked but she did as he told her and left “I’m taking you to the dorm, Gabbi said that you weren’t going to the dinner, I’m not leaving you alone now” Donghae said to me and I nodded

“Yeah, I’m not and thanks” I whispered and he looked at me sadly

“Wrap your arms around my neck” he then asked me and I did so without questioning why, I was too tired, he then picked me up bridal style and carried me to his car. He put me in the front and then got into the driver’s seat. He held my hand during the whole drive to their dorm. Then he carried me up, when we got in he kicked off his shoes and carried me to his and Eunhyuk’s room. He carefully put me down on his bed. Then he removed my black heels and my scarf. “Do you want to change into something else?” Donghae then asked me softly, I looked down at my black dress, I hated it I really hated it. So without thinking I quickly got out of it leaving me in my underwear only. Donghae looked at me shocked. He didn’t try to look away but he didn’t stare at me. He looked me in the eyes; it was like he knew how I felt about the dress. Then he went to one of the wardrobes and got me one of his t-shirts. He handed it over to me and I put it on. Then Donghae sat down next to me and laid us both down. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled the covers over us. I remember the first time he had done that. That night at the dance studio when memories about Heechul had overwhelmed me.

“How could he do that to me? How could he leave me?” I questioned devastated

“He didn’t do it on purpose sweetheart, he wanted to stay with you” he assured me

“Life is so unfair” I cried out, he kissed my hair and sighed

“I know, I know, it really is” he told me

“Donghae I really don’t wanna live anymore” I informed him honestly

“I am aware of that, but you have to, if not for yourself then for me, for Gabbi, for Hongki, for the members” his voice was pleading, almost desperate

“Why do you have to love me?” I wondered, it made it so hard for me, if he hadn’t I would’ve been with Heechul by now

“Because you’re simply amazing” he replied “No matter what anyone say I know the truth” he continued

“You must be an angel on earth Lee Donghae” I said truthfully, he smiled at me a little and caressed my cheek

“I doubt that, but if I would be then I would be your angel, your guardian angel” he said to me softly and kissed my forehead

“Yeah” I closed my eyes and let out a yawn, today had been really exhausting for me, crying took away all my energy

“Sleep now my princess, I’ll be here when you wake up. I’m staying as long as you’re staying” he then started to sing to me and I was very soon fast asleep in his safe arms

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It is really hard for me to write on this one cuz I get so emotional all the time! xD anyways I hoped you liked this chapter! :D Donghae is sooooo sweet!!!!!

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