A worker comes in and instructs EXO on where to wait as the MCs do the introduction when the show starts, which is in five minutes. They’re led out to the main backstage area and I follow along, making sure my pass is visible due to the frequent stares I’m getting from workers, probably assuming I’m a stalker following them around.

There are two couches off to the side and they all plop down on them, Kai making room for me to sit next to him and I plunk down between him and Chanyeol.
I hear a big sigh and look over at Kai, who has his eyes closed, his head leaning back.

I raise my eyebrows. “Nervous?” I ask him.

He doesn’t respond, smirking.

“You’re the amazing, charismatic Kkamjong though!” I encourage him sarcastically. I pump my fists, a bright smile on my face. “Kai fighting!”

He chuckles and punches my arm lightly.

Chanyeol pokes my other arm. “Eunji! I have a question.”

“Hm?”
“How come you call him Kai?” He asks, frowning slightly like he’s deep in thought.

I scrunch my eyebrows together. “Because that’s his nickname?”

 He gestures nonsensically. “Yeah but like, he’s your brother so how come you don’t call him Jongin or oppa?”

“Well, he liked a manga where a character’s named Kai in it, and he liked it when he was little so I called him Kai, and then SM somehow decided to use that for his stage name, so if-so-facto, he is Kai!” I explain, also gesturing nonsensically.

He nods, taking in the information.

D.O speaks up from the other couch. “Why not oppa?”

I shrug. “Sometimes I call him oppa.”

“Only when you want something,” Kai murmurs and I slap his arm.

“You’re twins, right?” Xiumin asks, and we nod.

He grins. “You’re so alike.”

I stare at him in horror.

How dare he insult me like that.

“I think I’m more like a pineapple than I’m like Kai,” I scoff.

“Yep. You and pineapples are stupid, whereas I am smart.” He announces and I whack his arm.

“At least I don’t use bananas to sing!” I throw back and some of the guys laugh.

He growls. “I was imitating D.O!” He shouts, and D.O stands up immediately, pointing a finger at Kai.

“That was one time when I was cooking! I was BORED!” D.O whines, sulking back into the couch.

I can’t help but giggle at their silliness, as other members do as well.

A worker comes over and has them get up and head closer to the stage since they’re supposed to go on soon. I follow behind them as they fix their hair and straighten their jackets while they walk.

“Are you going to stay back here or go sit down?” Kai asks, and I shrug.

“Which is better?”

He thinks for a bit, a makeup artist brushing at his face. “How about you go sit there while we perform and then come back during the break?” He suggests. His eyes brighten up, “I’ll try finding you and then I’ll do something so you know I’ve found you in the crowd!”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah okay.” I turn to the other guys. “Good luck!” I bow and exit the backstage area, walking down some steps off to the side of the audience and heading to my seat. It’s in the smack-dab center of the first row, so I basically have the best seat there is. I’m next to the manager and he greets me, waving as I sit down.

The MCs are speaking Chinese and my head hurts as I try recalling the intermediate skills of Mandarin I learned in high school. They’re talking too quickly so I give up, but thankfully the manager quietly translates what they’re saying for me.

They’re doing the usual introduction, about how their unique rookies from the oh-so famous SM Entertainment, showing off their wide varieties of talents ranging from wushu to beat boxing. It’s pretty boring until EXO finally comes out, the fangirls surrounding us flying up out of their seats as they screech for their bias’s attention. The manager and I stand and clap, not matching the loudness of everyone around us.

, their loud. My eardrums are going to burst any second.

They then go on to perform their songs, doing MAMA first and then the MCs say they’ll do History at the end. They perform MAMA as OT12, and it’s really cool when they face each other to sing.

When it’s Kai’s turn to sing after the first chorus, when he has to duck under Sehun’s arm, I see him stare me down. He brings up his hands into a gun and shoots me and I can’t help but shoot him back, laughing. He actually kept his word, doing something to show that he knows where I am in the crowd.

The fangirls erupt into ear-shattering screams when the song ends, all the members breathing heavily. The fans finally calm down a little and we sit back down, each member doing their introduction. They then proceed to show talents, and I can’t help but burst out laughing at some of them.

Kris does a catwalk like they practiced a while ago in the practice room, and even though his gorgeous face is unbelievably handsome, the thought that the personal talent that he decided to show, of all talents that a person could have…

Is to do a catwalk.

Not to rap,

Or do aegyo or sing or dance or anything that is considered a talent,

But instead…

Show off his face.

I burst out laughing and the manager eyes me suspiciously.

Luhan and Xiumin both do aegyo and I can’t stop the squeals that fall out of my mouth.

Lay, Kai and Sehun dance to Run and Gun, the fangirls screaming louder than ever.

Lay’s a really good dancer. He’s really swift and the way he moves is really fluid and smooth.

Even though my brother’s a derp, I have to admit that the years of training have paid off.

Sehun’s dancing is extremely impressive, and he actually looks really charismatic and handsome when he’s as focused as he is.

Tao does wushu after changing into better clothes for it, and I laugh when I hear the MC call him “Peacock oppa.” I’ll definitely be using that later.

The others do their talents and they move on to the part that I think should appropriately be dubbed ‘embarrassing stuff.’

Basically it’s a bunch of pre-debut videos and pictures of them all.

They start off with Lay, since he and the MC did some kind of show together. Lay’s so ing adorable in the video, and he’s really dorky and loud. Surprising, since he’s one of the softer and quieter members.

Then they do Kai, and I laugh when I recognize every picture they show. There’s even a picture of a four-year-old Kai with a four-year-old me, but they obviously cropped me out of the picture. My arm’s there, though! It’s slung around his neck. My face isn’t there, but technically I’m there. So I’ve technically been broadcasted to all of everyone watching this.

yeah.

I’m famous.

They move onto Sehun and I can’t but let my lips pull up into a small smile. He’s so ing cute, he looks like such an innocent little school boy.

The guys onstage are laughing uncontrollably at each picture, and whichever boy is in the picture stands there blushing, or trying to hide behind other members. It’s fun watching them together. They act like real brothers, teasing each other over the pictures and videos on the screen.

Another picture of Sehun slides by, this time Chanyeol accompanying in it and the manager chuckles beside me.

“I took that picture,” He laughs, “It’s from a couple years ago and they didn’t realize I was taking a picture. I don’t even think they knew it existed.”

Sehun and Chanyeol are wearing a hat and glasses but they're sticking their tongues out, trying to look cool. I laugh, seeing their strucken face onstage. They looks surprised but I can tell that underneath that, he’s boiling. I follow their gaze, which lands on the manager.

“I’ll be in trouble later,” The manager laughs.

 The crowd suddenly squeals, but my eyes are distracted by something else. Luhan, who’s onstage between Lay and Sehun, rather than laughing along with the other members, is staring at me with all his will. He’s not smiling, just gripping his microphone in his hands, his eyes intently searching my face for something, a reaction, I don’t know. He bites his lip and furrows his eyebrows, like he couldn’t find what he’s looking for.

“That was a little bit before SM casted him,” The manager’s voice penetrates my thoughts, and I turn to look at him.

“Sorry?”

He points at the screen. “That picture.”

I look up and gasp, the involuntary reaction spilling out of my mouth before I can stop it.

The picture is of a young Sehun, looking about twelve, with short hair and a dorky smile. He has the v sign held up and his eyes are crinkled as he grins at the camera.

But what my attention is captured by is the boy he has his arm slung around, the boy whose doe eyes are peering into mine.

A boy with long, dark hair, also making a v sign, has a mask covering his mouth, though his eyes give away that he’s smiling. I stare at the picture, the boy staring back, the memories flooding in before I can shove them away or dart my eyes somewhere else.

It’s him.
It’s the boy who stole my first kiss.

It’s Luhan.