“Do I have to watch from outside?” I ask my mom as we head to Daesung’s ITB test, my toes curling from in excitement in my sneakers. She shakes her no head, shooting me a small smile. Her face seems older, the circles under her eyes darker, since we left T-0-P’s room. Questions prod at the inside of my head, but something tells me that now isn’t the right time, and I press my lips together.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I practically run into the door to Daesung’s testing area. My mom doesn’t say anything in response, just slides her ID card on the pad, opening the door.

Even after mentally bracing myself, I’m knocked to the floor by a wild hug. I’m sandwiched between the floor and Daesung, and I slowly blink my eyes open to see his grinning face. He helps me up and the already existing butterflies in my stomach go wild when he hugs me again, gentler this time, eyes sparkling. I smile bashfully back at him, and join my mom at the side of the room after she makes an annoyed ‘achem’ noise.

My mom has her usual clipboard in her hand, but her hand is shaking slightly as she jots things down. I follow her gaze upward to see Cho Hee in a glass room, in front of a panel of buttons, where I usually am. Looking back at Daesung, the thought creeps up on me that he doesn’t know what it’s like to not be the one controlling the buttons.

Mom nods at Cho Hee, who presses a button, dropping an ITB into the room, which hits the floor with an echoing thud.

“I want you to run at the ITB,” my mom instructs Daesung,” but don’t worry about hitting it just yet. All I need you to do is run, and try not to hit the wall.”

I stare at my mom for a moment longer than she talks, processing her words. Why would he hit the wall?

Suddenly my attention snaps back to Daesung when a loud crack fills the room, and he’s on the other side, sitting against the wall, one palm pressed against his head.

“Dae?!” I call out, worry drenching my words. He waves a hand at me, dismissing my worry, standing up slowly.

“I’m fine,” he breathes, blinking his eyes open. My mom studies him for a moment before writing furiously on the paper.

“Try again,” she murmurs, not looking up from writing. I watch Daesung this time, watch him spread his legs slightly, leaning back on his haunches and then, suddenly, appearing at the other side of the room, barely a foot from the wall. My eyes double in size in amazement as he turns around, grinning proudly.

“Damn,” I whisper, and my mom, who shoots me a sharp glare, continues to scribble on her sheet.

“You’re…uhm……fast,” I murmur as Daesung walks over, smirking happily.

“I guess this entire situation isn’t too horrible,” he whispers, twining his fingers with mine. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately but…I don’t fight it. I smile up at him, a warm cloud of contentment filling my chest. He’s accepting this whole ordeal. He won’t end up like some depressed, terrifying being like Y-B. Not my Dae.

“Focus on the test,” my mother orders, seriousness suddenly lining her voice. I slip away from Daesung’s grasp, and he walks back over to the starting wall. “Try and hit the ITB this time. Just push it, don’t jump on it or anything. We want to take our time with this,” my mom instructs, nodding again to Cho Hee, who drops another ITB.

Daesung’s across the room in a flash, his arms still outstretched when he reaches the other side. Confused, he blinks, and turns around to see the un-moved ITB. His eyebrows pinch together in puzzlement, and suddenly he’s on the other side, already turned around to see the results.

 The ITB still stands there, not a single scratch, not having moved a single inch. Daesung runs again, and I hear the smack of his hands hitting the white figure, but once again, nothing happens.

My eyes are locked on him, and I see something in his eyes click. I can see his thoughts shut off, and his entire being drop everything else except for its focus on the white figure in the middle of the room. He crouches down, tensing his whole body. I can see something I’ve never seen before on Daesung’s face: anger. The shining whiteness of the ITB mocks him. Suddenly Daesung no longer stands there, but a predator crouches in his place. A moment before he springs off towards the ITB, I his eyes flash from their usual invitingly dark brown, to an all-too familiarly reptilian yellow, and I feel a terrible sense of foreboding wrap itself around my insides.

Suddenly, all my worries, all my concerns and nightmares are acknowledged in their truths. My ‘Dae’, from this point on, will no longer be the same. He’s going to slip away from me at a speed that will only grow faster, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

A small voice in the back of my mind says: This is where it starts.

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I think this is my favorite chapter so far. I've read it multiple times now, and I'm really happy how it turned out.

I've been working on a dedication for this story, and I think it should be up with the next chapter. It'll be at the beginning of the story, and I hope you guys will read it :)

Enjoy the story, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts~