o o 5 ;

I didn’t attend school the next day, and the following day too. Even though my aunt and uncle (who are my legal guardians now) knocked on my door countless times, persuading me to talk to them, I just covered my ears with the pillow and hid under the sheets.

I hated the feeling of being alone and abandoned, but I’m more afraid of losing anyone else. If I shut off my feelings and emotions, wouldn’t that be better?

The only person I let into the room, was my cousin, Na Eun. Perhaps, it was because she was younger, so I had no trouble of deluding my feelings in front of her. A kid like her, with a heart so pure, doesn’t judge. And besides, she would always offer her teddy bear to me, for me to cry on.

I took it.

“I’ve ruined your teddy bear,” I sniffed, while we were sitting on my bed that day. “I will get you a new one soon.”

She quickly shook her head.

“It’s okay unnie. It’s fine. I have many other toys that I can play with.”

I just nodded numbly.

“Unnie, eomma is wondering, when are you going to go back to school? You can’t miss anymore lessons,” she said, her big, round eyes staring up at me.

“I don’t like my new school,” I answered childishly.

Na Eun puffed out her cheeks, as she thought about it for a moment. It reminded me of Minhyuk.

I felt sick at the pit of my stomach.

“Unnie should make new friends. Friends will always make you feel better. Maybe then, you’ll like your new school.”

“I don’t need any friends,” I said stubbornly.

Na Eun opened to say something else, but was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.

“Chorong-ah,” I heard my aunt’s voice calling for me. “There’s a visitor waiting for you downstairs.”

Na Eun looked at me.

I shook my head.

“Eomma!” she shouted back. “Unnie doesn’t want to meet anyone.”

“Chorong-ah,” the adult sighed. “Just for awhile, please? This might be important.”

My little cousin just looked at me expectantly. I stared back at her.

After a few seconds, I let out a huge sigh.

I walked down the stairs slowly, curious to who had came by to visit me.

 I hadn’t told anyone where I lived, so that just adds on to the suspicions more.

But when I saw him, sitting on the couch, with his hands clasped together and his legs locked closely, I didn’t quite know how to react.

Approach him? Or just bolt out of there before he could see me?

I decided...to go with the former.

I cleared my throat, a little loudly.

Joonmyun’s head shot up instantly. A smile formed on his face when I came into his view.

“Chorong!” He stood up abruptly, wiping the palm of his hands against the back of his school pants. “I...I missed you at school today.”

“I was absent,” I answered matter-of-factly, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “What are you doing here?”

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, before remembering his purpose and bent down to rummage through his school bag.

He straightened up a few seconds later, with a few sheets of paper in his hand.

“I-I have your homework here with me. Mrs Choi asked me if I could keep them for you.”

“You shouldn’t have...” I said in a cold voice, closing in on him a little. “...gone through all the trouble of coming here.”

“O-oh, but I want to,” he stuttered, backing away and I came near. “I mean...I don’t mind anyway. I-it’s not troubling me and – “

“Do you always stutter?”

He blinked. “W-what?”

I titled my head slightly to the right. “You’re doing it again.”

“D-do what?”

“That, stuttering.”

“O-oh well, n-not really...actually. I usually don’t have trouble speaking with anyone, but...”

“But what?” I challenged him with a stare.

“Y-you are the f-first person to make me feel this way,” he said nervously and took a glance over his shoulder. He was already backed up against the wall, and there was nowhere else for him to escape to.

I smirked and broke my stance.

He seemed relieved.

“Thanks,” I said dryly, plucking off the papers with only my thumb and index finger. “There’s nothing else, right?”

He shook his head slowly.

“Good, so you can leave now.”

“B-but...”

I shot him a glare. “What?”

“You might need some help with that,” he replied meekly. “I can help...if you want.”

I studied his face carefully.

He was genuinely afraid.

But he’s still here.

He’s not running away.

Kim Joonmyun is not a coward.