o 2 1;

We arrived at our destination about twenty minutes later, but I couldn’t see where we were due to the blindfold Daniel had asked me to put on.

“We’re here,” I heard him saying as he pulled the car to a stop. “Wait, I’ll get you.”

I remained stiff and awkward in my seat while I waited for him to come and get me. I heard my door opening and a second later, Daniel’s hand on my arm as he gently pulled me out.

“Slowly now,” he said, as he wrapped on arm around my shoulder and the other holding onto my left arm tightly, carefully guiding through my steps. I followed his lead helplessly, not having a single sense of direction of where we were.

“Can I take this off now?” I asked, a little desperately.

He chuckled. “Just awhile more. Okay, here – I’ll take it off for you.”

That whole three seconds felt longer than it actually was. The second the blindfold was off, I blinked my eyes a couple of times to adjust to the sudden change, before I really took in the scene before me.

Believe it or not, Daniel had brought me to the theme park, a deserted theme park to be exact, at thirty minutes past 10 at night.

I was speechless.

“Surprise!” he grinned happily at me, obviously expecting for the same reaction. But I could only stare back at him in bewilderment with my mouth hung open slightly.

Noticing my expression, his smile faltered as he dropped my hand.

“You don’t like it?”

“No!” I quickly said and shook my head. “I-I mean...I...just wasn’t expecting this. W-what are we doing here?”

He started to smile again. “Well...we used to come here whenever we had free time after school, remember? And...” he grabbed hold of my hand again and pulled me along. “Come on, I have something to show you.”

I allowed myself to be dragged along, while eyes still taking in every little thing that could be found in the theme park. The empty rides, the closed stalls...Daniel was right – I used to love coming to this place back then during my teenage years. But after graduating, and him leaving, I stopped visiting totally and I haven’t been here since ever since then.

But...it felt nice to be here again.

Especially with him.

“Remember this ferris wheel?” Daniel asked when we finally stopped in our tracks and stood in front the huge round thing.

I smiled at the memory. Our young, youthful selves who had so much fun riding the Ferris wheel over and over again...

Subconsciously, I slipped my arm in his and laid my head comfortably on his shoulder.

“I almost threw up once, didn’t I?” I giggled. “When we got stuck up there because it refused to go down.”

Daniel laughed as he pinched the bridge of my nose lightly. “Yes, you did. So, tonight, make sure you don’t. Because we’re going to be up there for awhile.”

I shot up straight instantly and shot him a look. “What do you mean?”

“Come,” he started to pull me again to the nearest carriage. “You’ll see.”

“Are we even allowed to?” I asked worriedly. “I mean, this place is supposed to be close, right? So we’re considered tres – “

“Don’t worry, Chorong,” he gave me an easy smile. “I took care of it. And I even have a friend helping me out,” he pointed towards a tall guy who I didn’t notice was there before this, standing by the operating machine. “I just want you to enjoy the ride, okay?”

I looked into his eyes, and for a moment, I thought I saw my entire world – but then it disappeared just as quickly as he tore his gaze away to gesture me in first.

Maybe, he was right.

Maybe, I really needed this.

~

“So how long are we going to be up here?” I asked about ten minutes later, looking out of the carriage and noticing how tiny everything else looked from the view above.

“Why? Do you feel nauseous already?” Daniel teased me and scooted closer towards me. “Look, beautiful, isn’t it? You can actually see parts of Seoul from up here too.”

“It is,” I agreed softly, smiling to myself as I lost myself in the scenery. I couldn’t remember when was the last time I had actually felt this serenity. My life has been nothing but turbulent disorders. I think I’ve shed more tears than I actually smiled.

Smiled for real. Smiling sincerely.

“Chorong-ah...” I heard Daniel whispering from next to me, breaking into my thoughts. “Look up there.”

I lifted up my eyes at the direction he was pointing, and when I did, I saw big white, puffy letters decorating the night’s dark vast sky.

박초롱, 사랑해

Park Chorong, I love you.

I could feel the tears already welling up in my eyes, deeply touched by his sweet gesture, going all the way out to make this night a memorable one for me.

But deep inside, I knew that I had another reason for crying.

I didn’t know if I still love Daniel Chae the same way I did when I was 17 years old.

~

The next day, I dropped by the old folks’ home – hoping to catch Joonmyun so that I could return his coat, and also sit down for a chat with his grandfather.

I beamed happily at those whom I recognised, and they waved their hands back at me. Even my steps were extra bouncy that day, and I could feel myself literally skipping my way through.

Perhaps, the thought of getting to see Joonmyun again made me a little excited.

But when I turned round the corner to his harabeoji’s room, I saw Joonmyun standing outside the door, completely engaged in a deep conversation with Nana.

I stopped short, and hid myself behind the wall, where I could still have a clear view of them. It appeared as though they were arguing about something, with Joonmyun shaking his head and Nana gripping onto his hands tightly.

That made me frown a little.

They looked like a couple in a tiff.

Just when I thought I had seen it all, Nana suddenly threw her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Not those kind of quick, brief kiss your friends would give you.

But the deep, long ones a girlfriend would give her boyfriend.

A small gasp escaped my lips before I could stop myself.

I didn’t stick around longer to see what would happen next. In my hurry to get out of there, Joonmyun’s coat slipped from my hands unintentionally and I didn’t realise it, only after I was out of the gates.

Even then, I didn’t stop running. I didn’t stop running until I was sure I was already far, far away from the old folks’ home.

Away from Joonmyun.

 I clutched on to the soft fabric of my blouse tightly as I dropped to the ground on my knees slowly. I had never felt this sharp, piercing pain in my heart before in my life. It was like, someone is stabbing you repeatedly, and they have no intention of stopping.

Only in my case, Kim Joonmyun is the one  killing me.