Taecyeon left Junsu in his cage because he couldn't control the shaking of his large hands and it was beginning to scare him. He was terrified of the damage he could do if he even stepped a foot near the cage itself. He dropped his bags by the door and stumbled across the floor to his bed, his eyes becoming glassy without notice. Taecyeon didn’t peg himself as a crier, because there was never really anything to cry over. Anything bad that had ever happened to him, he had brushed it off and said he was fine, or would be. There just never seemed to be something strong enough to make him cry his eyes out, but this was. Taecyeon never really felt lonely at home because he knew that his mother would come home, no matter how long she took; she would come home, at least for a day. It had always been that way. She had always been far away, but close enough for him not to worry.

“Junsu’s going to learn how to fly one day. Jay has to go back home soon. Nichkhun and Wooyoung have each other. What about me?” It never occurred to Taecyeon before, but he was truly unhappy.

Time had taken its toll, and before Taecyeon was aware, there was sunlight streaming through his window, coaxing him up and out of bed with the promise of a new day. He forced himself out of bed, unwillingly, and his hands began to shake as he tried to reach for Junsu’s cage door. He sighed as he watched his fingers shake and pulled away again.

“Sorry Jun. Not today.” The pipping never did begin. Taecyeon went through the motions of any other normal day, and ignored Jay as he went about his business to get ready for school. When they were both ready, Taecyeon walked with heavy footsteps out the front door, silently sending another apology to birdie Junsu as he and Jay boarded the bus. Jay left his cousin alone the entire time, knowing that the big bear needed time to himself.

When they were on the bus, Taecyeon couldn’t hear the students talking or even tell they were moving. He was just withdrawn within himself and he couldn’t find a way out. He didn’t want one. For once, he just wanted to wallow in self pity at how lonely his life just had to be. It saddened him that he had ignored all of his pain the entire time and feigned innocence.

Taecyeon drifted through the crowd entering school, quieter than a mouse, his entire presence reeking of depression. Everyone picked up on his feelings; on the way his face was set in a blank mask that made him look lost. If Taecyeon had paid attention, then he would have seen Junsu walking ahead, instead of accidentally bumping against him and continuing to pass with a passive look on his face. If he had looked back, he would have seen the hurt and confused expression Junsu gave as he watched him walk by, his mouth opening to say something, but no words escaping.

Taecyeon couldn’t even act natural with Nichkhun and Wooyoung in class. He couldn’t answer any of the questions shot his way by the teacher who was beginning to get irritated. He could barely will his eyes to stop tearing up every five seconds, when the teacher decided to send him out to give him some time to himself.

“Come back when you’re ready for class,” The teacher said, sympathy and strain in his voice. Taecyeon automatically stood and stepped outside with slow, faulty steps. If he had the heart to listen, he would have heard the teacher send Junsu out there with him to keep him company. Taecyeon pressed his back against the lockers opposite the classroom door and slid down to the floor, his shoulders slumped. He ignored the door opening and the footsteps he knew walking towards him and sitting close enough for him to feel the warmth of his side. He sat there, not thinking of anything in particular, when Junsu decided to break the silence with his small, shaky voice. As he watched Taecyeon, his face hidden, he realized that the male wasn’t as scary as he thought; he was just someone who needed somebody at his side at times like these. And so, he wanted to be that person, even for a little while.

“T-Taecyeon?” The voice is so close he could feel the atmosphere change when he talked, and finally, Taecyeon was able to finally break away from his stupor. His heart shuddered in his chest as he realized a little too late that this was the closest he’s ever been to Junsu before, and he was being ignorant and ignoring it! Taecyeon kept his eyes on the floor, too scared to look into Junsu’s eyes and do something stupid.

“J-Junsu? What . . . are you d-doing out here?” he hated how his first words to the love of his life are the wrong ones and the fact that he’s stuttering doesn’t make it any better.

“Seongsaengnim t-told me to keep you c-company.”

“ . . . Oh.” The awkward silence was bothersome for them both, but Junsu was too scared of saying something stupid while Taecyeon was scared of doing something stupid.

“Uh, I-I remember having b-bad days too,” Junsu murmured, trying to break the silence and the rock hard ice between them, “y-you just want to curl up in a b-ball and cry until there’s nothing left. And even after you do, you realize you still have more tears to shed over something else and it never gets any better.” Junsu felt his voice even out by the time he was finished talking, and it made him happy.

“I d-don’t cry,” Taecyeon lied through his teeth, the feeling of being weak in front of Junsu making him sick. He saw out of the corner of his eye, Junsu turning towards him.

“It’s okay to cry. J-Just don’t keep it inside like this, everyone is so w-worried about you a-and they want to help. Are you worried for me too Kim Junsu?

Taecyeon listened to the soft, caring, tone of Junsu’s voice, and it made him feel so warm inside that the tears he wished he never had found their way to his eyes. He had never thought that Junsu would speak to him with that tone of voice in his life, but it was happening, and it felt so good. He covered his eyes just as the first tear streaked down his cheek. He didn’t want Junsu to see him cry.

“I c-can go if you want.” Taecyeon shook his head and Junsu stayed by his side, making a fist to hold himself back from reaching out and wiping Taecyeon’s tears away.

Taecyeon sat there, crying with an aching heart, but knowing Junsu was by his side had begun to dull the pain away to a slight sting.

You don’t even know it, but you are the reason I’ll be okay. Kim Junsu.                

Oh my gosh that was like one of the most peculiar scenes I’ve ever written in my life. It’s not the way I pictured their first meeting, at all, but I sort of like how it worked out. ;_; Forgive me everybody for making my big bear Taecyeon sad! It totally broke my heart, and I’m the one writing it!