Taecyeon still found it strange to have his house filled by another human body, especially someone who was still, unfortunately, light-years smaller. After bombarding him in the middle of the cafeteria, Jay had not only turned up in most of his classes, but followed him home where his things were already sitting inside. Taecyeon loved his cousin to death, but popping out of nowhere when you’re supposed to be in America, Taecyeon had a bad feeling Jay wasn’t just “visiting his favorite cousin.” He stared back to his unfinished paper, and sighed. Not only would he have to adjust, but birdie Junsu would have to as well.

The insistent pipping flushed him out of his pensive mood and back to reality. He felt guilty for not letting Junsu out all day, but he couldn’t risk it. The moment Jay saw Junsu, and tried to take him out, Taecyeon internally went ballistic, but on the outside, simply told Jay that Junsu needed his rest. Truth is, he was afraid Jay would accidentally hurt his little friend, which was indeed possible, and he would never be able to forgive himself if anything did in fact happen.

He looked back to his paper, or lack of, and sighed. What was he even supposed to write about? His teacher’s words rang through his ears. Someone you love. How general could someone be? Taecyeon rubbed the back of his head with his free hand and heard the telltale signs of Jay moving about on the outside of his door. He had locked the small guy out after he kept on being pestered. Birdie Junsu rattled his cage with the flapping of his wings for the nth time and Taecyeon finally figured that with Jay out of sight, it would be alright for Junsu to get some fresh room air.  He pushed everything off of his lap turned towards the cage, leaning over and carefully opened the cage door. Birdie Junsu wasted no time in hopping into Taecyeon’s hand, with an angry poke to the eroded palm of his hand and pipping that sounded more like cuss words.

“Ouch Jun, sorry,” Taecyeon apologized, bowing his head slightly and bringing Junsu closer to him to where the bird could hop onto his shoulder. Junsu playfully nipped at Taecyeon’s ear, causing the boy to jerk, but catch himself before he moved too much. He smiled as he shook his head and Junsu continued to try and catch his earlobe as if it were a worm. With Junsu in a comfortable place, Taecyeon drew his papers back in and went back to what he was doing, absolutely nothing.

It wasn’t that Taecyeon didn’t have anyone to write about; on the contrary, he had a sufficient amount to choose from, but none of them could be correctly written about. Taecyeon loved Jay, but the paper would be filled with how annoying his cousin could be sometimes, and he would seem too feminine to say that he missed him. Not to mention the major complaining he would give about how the Seattle boy always drank straight from the carton. His mother wasn’t an option. Yes, it was a given that he loved her, but there would be nothing to write but useless depressing thoughts on how he doesn’t know her anymore. He would write about how lonely he would feel some nights, and just wish that his mother would come and tuck him in like she did when he was little, when they were happy.

Taecyeon thought of Nichkhun. It would be safe to say he loved him. Nichkhun was like the missing brother that Taecyeon had deserved, but after having one child with a man she never loved, his mother refused to create life again. Nichkhun resembled a diamond, so many different faces that could be seen, but one soul underneath. Nichkhun was beautiful and understanding and Taecyeon appreciated the time that they spend together. But it would be awkward writing about him. Taecyeon did care about Wooyoung, in a paternal type of way since Wooyoung resembled a cute child, but he doubted he would be able to write a sufficient paper on that alone. Plus, Nichkhun would not be happy about him writing about his boyfriend.

 And lastly, since Taecyeon couldn’t avoid it, he could write about Junsu, the boy he’s been in love with for a long time. Taecyeon sighed at the thought, imagining Junsu’s pretty, full eyes, and the way he would stare into oblivion most of the time, probably without realizing it himself. He wondered what would keep Junsu’s attention away so much, or if maybe, Taecyeon was on his mind too. It was childish, and unrealistic, but Taecyeon had long since been aware of the unrealistic things he wanted.

The paper was still blank, unless a person counted his name, and Taecyeon would have stared at the paper all day if Junsu hadn’t pecked at his earlobe and brought him back to reality and his poorly plain room. Maybe if he just stopped thinking and began writing, he would write something worth turning in.

“Should I just write Jun?”

“Pip Pip!”

“Arraso. You always know what to say.” Junsu pipped in reply as his owner gave up on thinking and began to sloppily write on the blank sheet of paper before him.

~

“Taec, take me out!” Taecyeon had managed to finish writing his paper before Jay decided to begin bothering him. The Seattle born was tired of being cooped up inside the house, whereas Taecyeon was used to, and wanted the big man to show him around. At first, Taecyeon declined, since he never really goes out anymore, unless Nichkhun really wanted him to, but then he thought better of it. While they were out, he could finally ask his dear cousin what his reason for dropping in unexpectedly was for.

“Fine. But don’t expect me to spend all my money on you.” Taecyeon called through his closed room door. Jay was an infamous shopaholic at heart, and Taecyeon had been unfortunate once to be stuck with him at the mall, having to give in to his cousin’s heart in order to be able to leave. Junsu pipped frantically as he was forced into his cage, getting a few harmless pecks to Taecyeon’s retreating fingers before he was trapped again.

Taecyeon felt guilt bubble in his stomach as Junsu stared him down, but there was nothing he could do. To avoid being guilt-tripped anymore with stares, Taecyeon turned his back to birdie Junsu and went about changing his clothes, finding a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a plain shirt. He met Jay by the door, and together, they left to the lively outside.

“You can’t be serious Taec; you don’t seriously buy the whole business trip crap, do you?” During their walk across town and the busy shopping district, Jay had been complaining about his parents when Taecyeon had brought up his mother.

“What do you mean? Of course she’s on a business trip, where else would she be?” As sure as he sounded and tried to convince himself, Taecyeon had a feeling that Jay was already aware of the answer to his question, and it wouldn’t be pleasant. Jay sighed and shook his head, his hands full of shopping bags.

“I didn’t want to say anything, but I promised myself that I would tell you when I heard.”

“Heard what? Stop drawing this out if you know its bad news. You know I hate that.” Jay looked over into Taecyeon’s eyes, his whole demeanor sagging and visibly heavy, as if the information he held weighed him down.

“Back home, I heard my mother on the phone with yours and they kept talking about saving money and finding jobs. It didn’t make any sense to me until my mother said, ‘You can’t keep lying to your own son. It’s not right.’ I kept listening because something was wrong.”

“Tell me.”

“You’re mother hasn’t had a job in a year Taec, and I don’t know where she is or if she’s going to bother coming back, but I came to tell you because I knew you were too soft and oblivious to even think otherwise.”

“B-But . . . she wouldn’t?” Taecyeon tried to absorb the information as much as he could, but found he was unable. It just didn’t make any sense to him. Why would his mother lie to him?

“I didn’t know any other way to tell you but to your face.” Taecyeon didn’t hear him. He was too busy with an expression of nearly heartbreaking exterior, trying to come to terms with the fact that his mother abandoned him. Left him without a word. Jay saw his face, understanding that his family was about to crack under the pressure of something so much greater than he could handle, and moved all of his bags to take his hand and lead him the memorized way home.

Taecyeon couldn’t remember walking home or the glances Jay would send him every second, or when he stepped inside the house that seemed even emptier than when he left. He walked inside, hunched over, resembling a bear instead of a man, and feeling pain in his upper torso. Taecyeon thought of his mother briefly, and her character, the way she drifted away, and thought that it probably was in her capability to do something like that to him. He had been on his own since the age of 14, being alone for good wouldn’t be so bad.

“Taecyeon, wait,” Jay called, placing an arm on Taecyeon’s forearm before he could travel up the stairs, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” Taecyeon turned back with a smile. The only thing giving him away was the quivering of his lips, “I’m fine. Or I will be.”

Jay watched his cousin take each step deliberately, sad that Taecyeon had a habit of repressing his true feelings.

“Everyone needs someone,” Jay murmured, looking up the empty stairwell, “Even you, Ok Taecyeon.”

;_; I am such a horrible author. My gosh, what is wrong with me!? The only thing I can say that makes up for this is that Junsu finally talks to him in the next chapter. Ughhhhhhh. I’m just going to continue to apologize!

@2pandavoice : Junsu was really jealous of Jay so when he saw that his name was longer, he felt like he was better. Lol. It was really childish. and sorry, I have a habit of just writing these big paragraphs. I scare myself sometimes. I'll try my best to space it out more! :)

@Meyochan: XDDDD You are right! "Or ... a criminal that had to flee the country" You killed me there.