Siwon 

Siwon walked into the bathroom and shut the door gently behind him. He stretched out his hands and found his way to the sink and turned the faucet on cold. He realized, a little annoyed with himself, that he had left his cane sitting somewhere in his house. Hand in hand with Kyuhyun, he just didn’t need it. He sighed and leaned against the sink with his head hung down towards his chest.

After washing his hands he stood for a while with them under the running water trying to will all of his emotions down the cold drain. When that didn’t work he splashed some cold water on his face and tried to mentally shake himself out of it. Whatever it was. He almost laughed at the way he was practically hiding in a bathroom obsessively thinking about everything that had happened, how wonderful Kyuhyun was (underneath his rough exterior of course), and how he might have just screwed it all up.

“Okay, stop it.” He muttered to himself as he turned off the water. “You apologize for embarrassing him and you move on. Maybe he doesn’t hate you and you’re just being overdramatic. Maybe you still have a chance.” To be friends at least, he thought sadly. The thought that Kyuhyun wasn’t embarrassed, and was just disappointed, had never even crossed his mind

With a deep breath, Siwon turned the door handle and walked back out into the hallway. He took a few hesitant steps trying to remember the layout of the area before he gathered his confidence and his footing. He walked out into the living area and turned towards the muffled noise coming from where he remembered Kyuhyun’s room to be.

He walked a little closer and tried to hear what was going on. As a general rule, he didn’t believe in eavesdropping, but he figured as long as he still had his hearing he should probably take advantage of it. Maybe he’d have to apologize for that later too. He inched closer only to hear a soft grunt and Ara saying something underneath her breath to her little brother. It was surprising how annoyed she sounded.

He kept moving closer to try and hear something more until suddenly the sound of the door being yanked open had him stopped dead in his tracks. He felt a little guilty and tried to think of something to say to explain his proximity to the door, but before he had a chance he was laying flat on the ground with a lapful of Kyuhyun.

For a brief second he thought about the way he could tell it was Kyuhyun by his smell and how he felt in his arms. Almost as quickly as the thoughts came, the younger boy quickly pushed himself off of Siwon and sat up beside him. Siwon thought back to the first day they had met and burst out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter at the irony of it all happening again.

 “S-sorry” he said between bursts of laughter.

 He realized what he must look like; sitting on the floor laughing like a lunatic after having been pushed to the ground mere seconds before, but for some reason it was all just too funny to stop.

“Are you okay? God I’m such an idiot, are you alright? Did you hit your head? Do I need to-” Kyuhyun spat out as he pulled Siwon up into a sitting position.

He sounded terrified and Siwon tried to control his laughter, and when that didn’t seem likely, he simply tried to explain it through sputtering choked off gasps.

“No, no I’m fine it’s just-” Siwon started to respond before losing it again.

He left his hand on Kyunhyun’s arm for support and to assure the younger boy that he was alright as he continued to laugh. Really, he thought to himself, it’s not that funny. Get a hold of yourself. He clutched his sides with his free arm when they started to hurt, and his laughing slowed to something more breathy as he wiped tears from his eyes. Beside him he heard quiet giggling and the sound spread a smile across his face as he finally managed to stop laughing for a bit.

“Déjà vu,” Siwon said, finishing the sentence he’d started earlier.

“Huh?” the younger boy replied.

Siwon smiled a little wider and tried to calm his breathing as he started to explain what he meant.

“Well.” he said still clutching his stomach, “It’s like I’m meeting you for the first time all over again. Well, almost the same thing. If I was as cheesy as people like to say I am I’d say that we need to quit meeting like this. Well, I guess I just did…”

Kyuhyun laughed at that and Siwon suddenly felt a flood of relief. Everything was going to be fine, he thought. Bumping in to Kyuhyun was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. Twice.

 “Yeah, except I yelled at you and asked you if you were blind?” Kyuhyun said after letting out another laugh.

His voice sounded soft and it made Siwon’s heart beat a little faster and made his smile a little wider.

“Oh I remember” He said still working on properly catching his breath from all the laughing… and maybe just a bit from the sound of Kyuhyun’s musical laughter in his ears. “I didn’t need to see your face to know what you looked like when I finally got around to picking up my cane.”

He thought back fondly to the way Kyuhyun sounded and really wished he could have seen the expression on the younger boy’s face.

“I’m almost glad you didn’t” Kyuhyun said back.

Siwon bellowed out another laugh and Kyunhyun joined in. He was very aware of the fact that his hand was still clutching the younger boys arm and as Kyuhyun had made no attempt to remove it, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t ruined anything at all. Siwon’s hand fell from Kyuhyun’s arm as the younger boy got up off the floor. He gingerly grabbed Siwon by the elbows and helped him to his feet before moving slightly farther away before apologizing again for bumping in to him.

Siwon moved closer and said “No, it’s all good” while reaching out to touch Kyuhyun again.

Warmth spread from his fingers and he wished he could hold on to Kyuhyun forever. Just like this. He thought back to earlier when he’d let go of Kyuhyun’s hand in the elevator and he suddenly felt ashamed of himself. Next time, he decided, if Kyuhyun wanted to avoid embarrassment he could let go of Siwon. As far as Siwon was concerned, he never wanted to let go again.

He realized that Ara might be nearby so he leaned in closer to Kyuhyun and asked nervously, “Um, are we good then? I mean us, before, are we okay?”

It definitely wasn’t the most eloquent apology, or whatever that he could have managed, but Kyuhyun seemed to understand.

“Yeah, yeah, um we’re fine” he said quietly

 “Your sister said she needed help with the dinner. So, where to?” Siwon said, starting to feel a little nervous at the prospect of the rest of the evening.

He figured Kyuhyun would grab his elbow again and lead them to the kitchen, but he couldn’t help but hope that there was a chance that if he held out his hand Kyuhyun would take it. He swallowed hard and held his breath and extended his hand out from his side. It wasn’t much. If Kyuhyun wanted to ignore it, Siwon reasoned that he could always tell himself that the younger boy just hadn’t noticed. But he was pleasantly surprised… ecstatic really, when Kyuhyun grabbed his hand. He practically had to stop himself from swinging their arms back and forth while skipping to their destination.

Kyuhyun quietly walked them a short distant to what Siwon assumed was the kitchen. They stood still for a while and Siwon stared in Kyuhyun’s direction with a dazed smile on his face. He looked away when he realized his expression might be a little too telling, if not a little bit frightening.

“Um” Kyuhyun said still holding Siwon’s hand, “I’ll just go grab the meat out of the fridge then.”

Siwon figured that it might be, and probably was, wishful thinking but it seemed that when Kyuhyun let go of his hand to go to the fridge he did it with a bit of reluctance. He heard the door open and he let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“I can do this by myself you know” Kyuhyun almost whispered when he returned.

“And incur your sister’s wrath?” Siwon cheekily replied. “I don’t think so.”

He held out his hands like an eager child and Kyuhyun placed a bowl against his palms. The younger boy chuckled and turned Siwon to the counter. Siwon heard plastic ripping and meat being placed in the bowl in front of them.

“So what do you need me to do?” He asked turning his head towards the younger boy.

“Hold on, I’m gonna put some spices and stuff in, and you mix.” Kyuhyun replied.

Kyuhyun quickly added everything to the bowl and Siwon held out his hand again.

“What?” the younger boy asked with a knowing smile on his face.

“I need a spoon?” Siwon said confused.

Kyuhyun laughed and grabbed one of his hands and then the other.

“No, no you don’t” he said plunging both of Siwon’s hands into the bowl of raw meat.

Siwon’s body recoiled and his face twisted in disgust before turning towards Kyuhyun. “This is disgusting” he said with his hands sitting in a dead heap on top of the meat.

“It’s just meat” Kyuhyun said with a smirk in his voice, but he reached in the bowl and pushed Siwon’s hands to the side and started mixing it himself. “Big strong man like you… afraid of raw meat?” he joked nudging Siwon in the side.

“Afraid and disgusted are two very different things” Siwon replied pretending he was deeply offended even though he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face.

“Baby”

“Psh move over, I’ll show you.”

He lightly bumped Kyuhyun out of the way and started mixing the contents of the bowl together. It was cold, slimy, smelly and disgusting, but he smiled while he worked his fingers through the gross clump of cold meat. Kyuhyun was practically glued to Siwon’s side with his hands hovering above Siwon’s as he mixed everything together. The older boy felt a warmth spread across his face and knew he was blushing as Kyuhyun watched him.

“It’s like squishing cold brains” he said making a face in Kyuhyun’s direction.

“I don’t even want to know how you know what that would feel like. Kyuhyun replied faking shock. “Oh my god!” he exclaimed loudly, “You’re a psychotic murderer, aren’t you?”

Siwon barked out a loud laugh.

“Oh well. Since you’re here already I should at least have you finish helping me make the hamburger patties before you kill us all.” Kyuhyun said while moving Siwon’s hands out of the bowl. “Wouldn’t want you to have to murder me on an empty stomach.”

A couple seconds later he handed Siwon a finished burger patty and instructed him to make the patties around that size.

“Bossy” Siwon joked before putting his hands back in the bowl and grabbing a handful of meat to shape.

He purposely brushed Kyuhyun’s hands with his own as they continued to shape the meat together and his smile didn’t falter until Kyuhyun said “Oh hey Jess.”

The younger boy didn’t sound too thrilled to see her, and he couldn’t say that he was all that thrilled at her presence either, though it had more to do with the fact that she was with Changmin. He’d almost forgotten that Changmin was even going to be there. Though to be fair, he’d almost forgotten that Ara was already there.

“Well, try not to be too excited to see me.” Jessica said “I didn’t get a chance to introduce you to Changmin at the elevator”

“Well, nice to meet you” Kyuhyun replied. Siwon heard the sarcasm in his voice and he gulped nervously as Kyuhyun’s side.

“Yeah sure, whatever” Changmin replied rudely, “so how did you and my boy Siwon meet?”

‘My boy Siwon’ Siwon repeated despairingly in his head. Great, now Kyuhyun’s going to think I’m his boy... Whatever that’s supposed to mean.

“You know him?” Kyuhyun asked sounding surprised and if Siwon wasn’t mistaken, a bit worried.

“Um, yeah” Siwon said awkwardly, reminding himself not to nervously play with his hair, seeing as his hands were still covered in nasty meat juices. “We went to the same high school. Same age.”

“Haven’t seen Siwon for years. How long’s it been Siwon?” He asked, shoving Siwon lightly on the arm.

“Long time” Siwon replied absentmindedly

Nobody said anything else for a minute and Kyuhyun finally broke the silence by telling Jessica and Changmin where they could put the food that they’d evidently brought. They went back to making burger patties in silence and Siwon was enormously troubled about whatever was surely going on in the younger boy’s mind.

 “Listen, I feel like I need to apologize in advance for him” the older boy said turning nervously towards Kyuhyun. “For lack of a better word, he’s a jerk. Okay, so there are plenty of better words, but I probably shouldn’t say any of them. We weren’t really friends in high school. In fact I didn’t really have friends in high school… not really, but that’s not the point” he said trying not to stray too far off topic. His lack of social skills was not the point he was trying to get across. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m like that. Like him… cause I’m not. Like him I mean.”

Siwon wanted Kyuhyun to know that he wasn’t Changmin. If the younger boy thought Siwon was anything like him, he would have no chance. Friends… lovers… no chance at all.

“I know” Kyuhyun said, effectively alleviating all of Siwon’s fears.

They finished all of the patties and Kyuhyun left to give them to Ara while he washed burger patty remnants off at the kitchen sink. When the younger boy came back into the room, he grabbed Siwon’s hand and pulled him through the house. He smiled and squeezed Kyuhyun’s hand as they walked out onto the patio. The sun shined down on his face and he took a second to soak it all in: the warmth of the sun, the smell of BBQ smoke, and the elegant fingers wrapped around his hand.

Kyuhyun pulled out a chair for him and he almost laughed. “And they say chivalry is dead” he whispered, quoting the younger boy from earlier. He heard a muffled snort and he almost snorted himself.

The dinner started out perfect. Everyone was having a good time, joking and laughing. The burgers were delicious and sitting next to Kyuhyun was enough to make him a little giddy. Unfortunately, his giddiness was sidetracked by Changmin making a crude joke about women. After about twenty more minutes Changmin had made a number of crude jokes, rude comments, and some personal jabs at Siwon that went all the way back to high school. It probably shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, and the blind jokes were just the cherry on top. It had been a long time since anyone had said anything rude about his handicap. Like since high school. Apparently some people really never did grow up.

As he was finishing up his food and people started moving around him to clean and put things away, he started to feel extremely guilty for the way everything had turned out for Jessica. Sure, he couldn’t help the fact that he just realized he was more than likely gay, seeing as he was a little bit in love with Kyuhyun (though it was particularly unfortunate that he’d fallen for Jessica’s best friend’s little brother), but she did not deserve Changmin.   

She certainly didn’t deserve any guy that would tell her to “Be a good woman and clean up for your man.”

He suddenly felt himself getting angry, no, pissed. He stood up pushing his chair violently back as he did and he opened his mouth to tell Changmin to back off, but Kyuhyun beat him to it.

“Excuse me?” the younger boy yelled.

He couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine as Kyuhyun continued to yell at Changmin. I really should not be by that, Siwon thought shaking his head.

 “Alright, that’s enough Shim” he finally interrupted. “He’s right, now just apologize and let’s be done.”

“Oh shut up Choi.” Changmin replied making Siwon even angrier. “God, now I remember why we weren’t friends in high school. You’re such a stiff.”

Siwon walked forward and put his arm out to find Kyuhyun. When his hand bumped Kyuhyun’s arm he gingerly pulled the younger boy behind him. He didn’t want to seem like some over concerned mother hen, but he couldn’t control his protective instincts. He turned his head towards Changmin and glared until Changmin  said “Let’s go babe,” which just added a little more fuel to his anger.

He couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud when she turned him down, and he tried very hard to control himself when Changmin purposely bumped into him as he walked towards the door. He sighed when he realized Changmin was leaving and he was glad that nothing bad had happened… Besides the insults and hurt feeling anyways.

But just when he thought it was all over, Changmin said “Not like I’m missing much.”

He was clearly talking about Jessica and Siwon changed his mind about Changmin being a . He was so, so much worse. Kyuhyun’s body stiffened next to him and the younger boy started to move forwards. Siwon could only imagine what would happen if Kyuhyun decided to start a fight. High school was a long time ago, but he remembered the pain of the black eye he got when he stood up to Changmin in the 11^th grade. (Not that Changmin had remained pain free. Siwon got a few blind swings in before the principal intervened… no pun intended.)

Before things could get out of hand, the older boy stepped out in front of Kyuhyun, but before he could tell him that Changmin was most definitely not worth it, Siwon was on the floor clutching his nose and he found that the only thing he could say was “oh god, my nose” though it sounded a little more like “ogabynobe.”

Here you go guys!!! Promised it would be this week. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully the next chapter will be up a lot sooner than three weeks from now. :D