Siwon

“Oppa!” 

Siwon had to move the phone from his ear as Jessica squealed when she answered his call.

“Hi Jessica, I was calling about our date tonight” he said a bit unenthusiastically.

“Oh, great! I was just about to call YOU!” she said, the smile clear to Siwon in her bubbly voice.

He ran his hands through his hair as he listened to her prattle on about how excited she was about their date and where they would be going. He wanted to have a good time on the date, and he wanted her to have fun too, but he was a little regretful about accepting her date offer.

The last date he had been on was one that his father had set up when Siwon had turned 23. When he showed up at his father’s place after the date missing one of his shoes, his father promised never to set him up again (after they had a good and very long laugh about it). In general, though he found it strange when he took the time to think about it, he really wasn’t all that interested in dating. He figured he just hadn’t found the right girl yet. He often wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that he couldn’t see them. Siwon sighed and interrupted Jessica.

“It sounds great Jess, I’ve got to finish up a bit of work before we go, so I’ll see you at 7:00?”

“Yeah, I’ll come pick you up then oppa.” She replied before saying goodbye.

She was clearly happy. Siwon didn’t want to ruin that so he decided that he would act like a gentleman, smile, and force himself to have fun. Plus, Jessica said they were going to a karaoke bar and he was genuinely excited about it.  I will have fun, I will have fun, I will have fun, he repeated to himself as he waited for Jessica to arrive. He put on a pleasant smile and grabbed his cane when he heard a quick knock on the door.

He opened the door and was a bit shocked when he received a quick hug and was promptly pulled out of his apartment. His mind was suddenly focused on the feeling of Jessica’s hand in his and he found himself comparing it to the feeling of holding Kyuhyun’s. Her hand was softer and smaller, but the effect was nothing alike. It was uncomfortable and slightly sticky from her nervous sweat. He felt like a dog on a leash as she pulled him down to the car. Luckily she had to use both hands to drive so he was free… at least for the time being.

As they drove to the bar they talked casually about how their day had gone. He told her about his weekend and he had to mentally remind himself not to ask about Kyuhyun when he brought up the library.

“Ugh” she muttered as she started in to talking about her job. “This last couple of weeks have been kinda hard. I think it’s Kyuhyun’s fault.”

His attention snapped back to her as she mentioned the younger boy’s name.

“I love him to death, but he makes everything so difficult…”

What is wrong with you Choi Siwon? He asked himself as he noticed his hands ball into fists defensively as Jessica blathered on about how annoying Kyuhyun was being. He couldn’t understand the increasing protectiveness he felt toward the boy who was practically a stranger to him. No, Siwon thought trying unsuccessfully to unclench his fists, he’s not a stranger. Maybe it’s because I’m an only child… He’s like a little brother. He shook his head; something about that last thought definitely didn’t feel right.

“Siwon?”

He flipped his head towards Jessica and forced himself to relax as she softly touched his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” She asked concerned at the look on his face. “We’re here” she mentioned hesitantly.

She smiled as his face softened. She got out of the car and quickly ran to his side to steady him as he closed the door. She smiled up at him, tightened her arms around his, and pulled him into the bar.

Siwon could feel the giddy atmosphere, and the warm lights flooded his body as they walked through the dense crowd. He could hardly hear his own thoughts. People were talking in every direction. His ears were filled with the sounds of laughter and excited yells from every corner of the room… not to mention some horrendous karaoke singing that had him silently wishing he could be deaf as well as blind, but it still put a smile on his face.  Jessica finally let go of Siwon after guiding him to their booth and he scooted onto his seat, making an awkward squeaking noise as he found a comfortable position. They ordered food and drinks, and before long, Jessica had started talking again. Luckily she seemed to be too busy talking about herself to notice that Siwon wasn’t paying any attention.

“So then she told me that he told her that…”

He sat down determined to give her his undivided attention, but it only took a couple of minutes before his mind was on Kyuyhun again. Maybe I’ll ask him to hang out the next time I’m at the library, he thought, very happy about the idea.

“…and then he dumped her! He just dumped her.”

Aish, Siwon, you’re on a date. Focus. He tried to pull his mind from the younger boy, but all of the sudden he heard people chanting his name.

“Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun.”

I must be going crazy, he thought to himself. They sounded as though they were egging him on and he was pretty sure the voices weren’t just in his head.

“Am I going crazy?” he asked out loud looking at Jessica.

“Huh?” She responded, still focused on what she was saying. “Oh look, it’s Kyuhyun.” She said not realizing that, of course, Siwon couldn’t actually ‘look’ at all. “OMG! He’s going to sing” she squeeked. “Aww, looks like Ara finally convinced him to come. She must be so happy.”

He’s going to sing? Siwon got giddy, a very unfamiliar emotional response, at the thought. Wait, Ara?

“Ara?” He asked, his voice dripping with curiosity.

“Oh Siwon I’ll have to introduce you. You’d love her, she’s amazing” she responded playfully.

He felt a hot flash of a much more familiar emotion pierce his heart and he sunk into his seat. I’m jealous. The realization hit him suddenly, along with a lot of questions about himself. Never, not once, did Siwon ever question his uality. He couldn’t see either , so he just assumed he was straight. His head started spinning as he tried to think back to anything that might have hinted at the opposite before. Hmm, maybe my complete disinterest in any girl I’ve ever met. He mental face-palmed himself. No, I can’t be gay… can I? he questioned with real concern. I can’t be…

“Neorago                            (It’s you)
Neorago                              (It’s you)
Nan noppunirago            (It’s only you)
Neorago”                            (It’s you)

Siwon froze and he had to remind himself to breathe as the younger boy began singing. For a second he seriously wondered if he had died. Only an angel could produce such a beautiful sound. Every note flowed from Kyuhyun like warm honey and it enveloped Siwon’s every sense. He had never heard anything so beautiful and as he closed his eyes he swore that he was in heaven and that he never wanted to leave. He wanted to stay forever wrapped in the warm cocoon of Kyuhyun’s deep melodious voice. He clutched at his shirt covering his racing heart and it was no longer a question. I’m gay, he finally concluded. Well, at least for him I am; My own personal angel.

“Neorago                            (It’s you)
Neorago                              (It’s you)
Nan noppunirago            (It’s only you)
Neorago”                            (It’s you)

He opened his eyes and smiled a deep smile as he turned towards the perfect voice and the perfect being as far as he was concerned. It was a strange out of body experience and he only came out of it when the clapping started to subside.

“He’s amazing.” Jessica stated sounding almost as shocked as Siwon felt. “Come on Siwon, let’s go say hi.”

All of the sudden Siwon couldn’t feel his legs. They were following Jessica as she dragged him along, but he wasn’t moving them. His heart pounded against his chest and threatened to break the barrier of his ribs as he forgot to breathe.

“Siwon, this is Ara” she said lifting Siwon’s hand to meet hers. “Ara, Siwon.”

Oh right, he thought as he remember the jealously in the pit of his stomach. He slowly regained his senses and he shook the girl’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you” he said, never forgetting to be the gentleman his mother had taught him to be.

She dropped his hand and pulled him into a soft hug before responded with one of the kindest sweetest voices he had ever heard. “It’s absolutely wonderful to meet you.”

Damn, he thought as dimples appeared on his face from the uncontrollable smile she brought out in him. If Kyuhyun was going to be happy with someone, besides him of course, it would have to be her. She was perfect and he knew it all from a hello. He suddenly became very depressed, but tried to focus on how happy Kyuhyun must be with her.

“Jess has told me so much about you. My brother’s even mentioned you a few times.” Siwon frowned in confusion. Brother?

“Don’t worry,” she said quickly, interpreting Siwon’s frown the wrong way. “He's only said good things.”

“I’m sorry, but do I know your brother?” he asked. Siwon was extremely confused and his mind was all muddy from the night’s events.

“Kyuhyun,” she chuckled softly. “I’m his big sister. I see he hasn’t mentioned me.”

“You’re Kyuhyun’s sister? His sister?” Siwon asked out loud. He had to stop himself from doing a happy dance around the room. “You’re his sister.” He stated dumbly.

He picked her up off the floor and spun her in a circle.  “His sister!” he repeated happily.

Ara was laughing at this point. She was baffled, but amused more than anything at the handsome boy’s strange antics. He put her back on the floor and he just couldn’t stop smiling. Maybe, just maybe he still had a chance. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he wanted a chance… with a boy. A wonderful, perfect, angel of a boy.

Hope you like this one! Thank you so so much for all the love and the wonderful comments. I wouldn't have this much written without them :)