Siwon

He was wrapped in his thoughts about Kyuhyun when Ara suddenly called out for someone.

“Hey,” she shouted happily, a sense of pride gushing from her voice.

Siwon quickly deduced that it was Kyuhyun by the way her voice was filled with so much love and he couldn’t help but smile. He turned quickly when he heard the footsteps quickly closing in behind him.

“Kyu” he said as his chest swelled with affection for the younger boy.

He was quickly corrected and that made him smile even wider. Before he knew what he was doing he started gushing about Kyuhyun’s performance. Siwon was completely enamored and he couldn’t hold it in even if he tried.

“I didn’t know you could sing, you were, you are brilliant.”

He stepped towards the younger boy and had to physically refrain himself from hugging the perfect being standing just a few feet away.

“Really! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything more beautiful and…”

Siwon’s eyes widened and he hoped his face was nowhere near as red as it felt. Crap, he thought trying to regain his composure. I can’t believe I just said that out loud… Siwon was in a slight state of dread as he tried to steady his heartbeat and his breathing. He looked anywhere but in front of him at the younger boy and he started praying that maybe no one (including Kyuhyun) had heard him fawning over the wonderful, perfect boy that he’d only met just a few times. Evidently enough times to fall head-over-heels, but still.

He realized if he didn’t say something soon that everything would only get worse so he opened him mouth, but nothing came out. Before he had a chance to figure out something to say a pair of familiar arms wrapped around his. Oh right… I’m on a date, Siwon thought as he sighed at his current situation. He had forgotten all the details from the last hour except for Kyuhyun’s angelic voice and it all came flooding back as his arm started to go numb in Jessica’s possessive grip.

“Damn it.” Kyuhyun said abruptly, and just loud enough for Siwon to hear.

Siwon pushed Jessica’s arms away as he stepped towards the younger boy again. He felt a sudden surge of worry at hearing the boy’s words and a seemingly endless slideshow of possibilities played in his head. Was he hurt? Did he drop something? Did he see someone that he didn’t want to? Was it a reaction to Siwon being there?

“What’s wrong are you okay?” he said quickly.

He hoped everything was okay and that he was just overreacting to the boy’s sudden outburst of bad language. Of course he was overreacting, right? When the boy didn’t answer he got worried. When Ara spoke though, he calmed down. She didn’t seem worried and she obviously cared about her brother more than he knew, and the blush returned to his cheeks with what she said.

“So Jess, you told me how great Siwon is, but you forgot to mention how handsome he is.” She said with sincerity in her voice.

Siwon turned and smiled at her.

“Thanks” he replied shaking his head, “but please, Jess was just being nice. It helps when you can’t see yourself though. It’s easier to believe people’s compliments that way” he joked and winked at Ara and Jessica.

As he shrugged off the continued flattery of the girls, his attention was still focused on the wonderful boy standing behind him. He couldn’t keep his attention far from Kyuhyun and he realized that the rest of the date would probably be something of a blur, not that the beginning of it wasn’t already fleeing his short-term memory.

“Be right back” Kyuhyun quietly blurted out, capturing Siwon’s full attention.

He turned, but the silence assured him that Kyuhyun had already walked off. He hoped that the boy wouldn’t be gone long.

“Siwon, are you planning on singing something? Ara asked after Jessica had firmly reapplied herself to Siwon’s side. “I’d love to hear you sing.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said looking down timidly.

He raised his arm and ran his hand nervously through the back of his hair. Siwon tried to ignore Jessica’s incessant attention and tried to remind himself that he was, after all, on a date with the girl. He also tried to ignore the quivering in his stomach at the thought of Kyuhyun hearing him sing. He couldn’t imagine what someone with such a beautiful voice might think if he heard Siwon’s mediocre attempt at karaoke. Siwon wasn’t the type to get shy and worry about what people thought about him. Well, not until he met Kyuhyun. He seriously considered the possibility of dying at Kyuhyun thinking poorly of him, though he knew his chances of the boy thinking highly of him probably weren’t high, as proven by their previous encounters.

“Oh, please do” Ara said with excited anticipation.

Siwon couldn’t help but grin at her continued sincerity. If Kyuhyun’s sister was this wonderful, he could only imagine what Kyuhyun would be like after he forced his way into the boy’s heart and through his brazen façade. Maybe I will sing, he thought giddily with Kyuhyun still on his mind.

“Yeah, come on Siwonnie,” Jessica chimed in with what he could only assume was her most charming attempt at flirting him in to singing.

His smile dropped and he unconsciously shuddered at her newfound nickname for him. It was extremely unpleasant to hear such an endearing term of affection from her. He was secretly hoping he didn’t have to turn her down and that she would just give up if he didn’t show any interest. Of course, that hadn’t been working so far. Maybe he was too subtle, or maybe he was leading her on. He started to feel guilty at that thought.

“Or…” she gently brought her arm around his, “we could always get out of here?” She purred, not even attempting to mask the obvious implications from her voice. “We could go back to my place. I think I have some ice cream in the freezer.”

He suddenly felt a lot guiltier, and immensely uncomfortable. He gulped and squirmed a bit in her grasp when she abruptly screamed in shock, along with many of the bar’s occupants. Whispers and stunned gasps, followed by giggles and relieved sighs filled the room.

“What’s going on” he asked facing Jessica, still clutching at his arm.

She sighed and let her grip loosen as she looked up at him.

“Just a blackout. Don’t let go of me or I might lose you” she practically giggled.

She sounded relieved and was back to flirting, but she quickly yanked her arm from his and he felt her turn hurriedly towards where Ara was standing.

“Oh god, a blackout.” She sounded scared and something in her voice made Siwon’s stomach drop.

“Where’s Kyu?” Ara breathed out.

She was clearly afraid; more afraid than Jessica sounded. Siwon could hear it in her tone.

“Where is he?” She asked louder this time.

“Why, what’s wrong?” He practically shouted to the boy’s older sister.

He began to panic as he waited for a response. Please, please let everything be okay, he thought, quietly praying for the younger boy. It’s just a blackout. It’s just a blackout.

“He has a phobia of the dark” Jessica said quietly to Siwon.

“It’s a long story.”

Ara practically whimpered by his side. Siwon thought he should probably try and comfort her, but all he could think about was Kyuhyun; where he could be, what he could be thinking, hoping he was alright, and knowing that he had to do something.

“The last time this happened he had to be taken to the hospital for shock. It took him a week to start acting like himself again.”

He thought back to what had happened before Jessica started shamelessly flirting with him. He remembered that Kyuhyun said he would be right back and he could only guess that had meant he was going to the bathroom. He only hoped that Kyuhyun hadn’t left the bar and been walking outside when all the streetlights went out. Of course, the moon was still shining so maybe it would be better that way. Unfortunately, the bathroom seemed more likely.

“I’ll find him” he blurted out.

“But Siwon…” Jessica started.

He wasn’t sure whether she sounded upset because he was going to leave her there, or whether she doubted that he could find the boy due to his obvious disadvantage, but he didn’t care. In this case, he knew his blindness was anything but a disadvantage. He hadn’t lost a sense like everyone else when the lights went out.

“No, I’ll find him.” He said before she finished with her complaint.

He walked off, cane in hand, and headed straight towards the men’s bathroom. He had been to that particular karaoke bar enough time that he had mapped out the room in his head. Thank God I love karaoke, he thought as he made his way across the floor. He let out an ‘excuse me’ every couple of seconds and collected a few definite bruises from an assortment of chairs and tables, but he made it to the bathroom in a matter of seconds. He could tell that the lights were still out because people around him were still talking in unnecessarily hushed tones, giggling, and hardly moving; probably from fear that they would pick up a few bruises of their own. He opened the swinging door to the bathroom and slowly walked through in case Kyuhyun was close behind it.

“Kyu?” he said quietly, trying to make sure he didn’t startle the boy.

He immediately panicked when Kyuhyun didn’t correct him with his full name like he usually did.

“Kyu?” He repeated.

He could hear the shaking in his voice and he took a deep breath to try and settle his nerves. He could only hope that the younger boy was close by and not in some other part of the bar by himself. He dropped slowly on to his knees and pushed his cane off to the side. He pressed his hands onto the cold tile and crawled his way slowly across the bathroom floor. He completely ignored the fact that he was ruining his expensive pants and his hands were probably covered in… well he was trying to ignore that particular thought.

“Kyu?” he tried again, “Kyu please.”

He heard a muffled noise from the far side of the bathroom and he slid his way quickly towards the sound. As he got closer and closer he could hear ragged breaths ripping their way through the surrounding silence. He knew it was Kyuhyun from his familiar and slightly intoxicating scent, and as he reached the boy’s side he pushed his back against the wall, taking a seat right next to him.

“Kyu, are you alright? It’s Siwon, please talk to me.” He was scared that the boy still wasn’t responding so he reached out next to him. Kyuhyun was shaking violently and his hands were clasped tightly around his knees. He rocked back and forth in the fetal position as Siwon slowly moved his hand to meet the boy’s knee. Kyuhyun shuddered at his touch, but Siwon carefully took Kyuhyun’s hand and held it tightly. He rubbed his thumb across the back of his palm and scooted closer to the boy’s body.

“You’re okay Kyuhyun, I’m here. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” Siwon started in a quiet, and he hoped, calming voice. He tried hard to keep the worry out of his tone.

After a few moment of rubbing his hand, Kyuhyun broke into soft sobs and his breathing hitched in the back of his throat. Siwon was glad to note that the terrified boy was shaking less harshly and that even though his crying was breaking Siwon’s heart, he was vocalizing, and that was something. Siwon was much more afraid of the terrified silence from when he found Kyuhyun. He calmed down a bit and after another stretch of time, Siwon’s legs started to go numb from sitting on the hard floor. He shifted to find a more comfortable position and Kyuhyun suddenly breathed faster. His fingers tightened forcefully around Siwon’s.

Siwon turned and put his other hand on the boy’s knee and whispered gently. “I’m here Kyu, I promise. I’m here.”

Siwon’s body tightened in surprise as the younger boy turned to Siwon and leaned into his side. He wrapped an arm around the older boy’s neck and clutched a fistful of his shirt as he hid his head into Siwon’s solid shoulder and continued to sob. He relaxed against Kyuhyun’s touch and wrapped his free arm around the boy’s back and pulled him into a comforting embrace. Siwon slowly ran his hand up and down the boy’s shivering back and listened to his breath start to even.

“Kyu…hyun” the younger boy whispered the correction after another soft sob.

Siwon sighed and let out a soft laugh in relief. “Kyuhyun,” he repeated.

He wasn’t sure how long he had held the boy in his arms, but after a while Kyuhyun reflexively released the folds of Siwon’s shirt and his arm fell softly on to the older boy’s chest. His breathing slowed, and Siwon smiled as his ears picked up the quiet snoring of the boy sleeping on his shoulder.

“Siwon, Kyuhyun. Oh thank god.”

 Ara pushed her way into the men’s bathroom as soon as the lights came back on and over to where Siwon and Kyuhyun were. She whispered her relief when she noticed her brother’s closed eyes and Siwon’s wary look. She knelt next to her brother and placed her hand against his forehead. He was warm, but he seemed calm and she could only hope that he would be alright when he awoke.

“I should get him home” she whispered, setting her hand on Siwon’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Let me help” he replied without thinking.

He was reluctant to let go of the sleeping angel. He wanted to hold him in his arms as long as he could, or at least until he knew the boy was alright.

“Siwon, really you’ve done enough. Thank you” she said smiling. She couldn’t imagine a more wonderful guy for her baby brother to love and her thoughts drifted for a moment.

“No, it’s alright, I want to help.” He replied.

Before she could refuse again Siwon shifted his arms; one around Kyuhun’s petite waist and the other under the bend of his knees. He stood with ease with the boy in his arms, and waited for directions and instructions from Ara. Kyuhyun let out a breathy moan and despite himself, the corner of Siwon’s mouth twitched into a grin as the boy wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his soft hair against the crook of his neck. Siwon closed his eyes, forgetting Ara’s presence for a moment, and breathed in the smell of Kyuhyun’s shampoo. I could get used to this, Siwon realized as his arms tightened around the boy.

“Okay” Ara said. “Let’s get him into my car. Thank you so so much.”

Siwon hoped she hadn’t noticed him sniffing her little brother’s hair. There was enough embarrassment for the night without that coming into play. He had blushed enough for everyone in the room as far as he was concerned. He waited as she picked up his cane and grabbed his arm. She led him back out into the bar. Everything was loud and people were laughing and chatting again, but Kyuhyun didn’t stir. It worried Siwon, and it worried Ara too. Siwon heard an unhappy murmur from the boy’s sister and he tried to look towards her with a comforting expression. She responded by lightly squeezing his arm and saying another soft thank you.

“Siwon? Where are you going? Is Kyu okay?” Jessica had rushed to their side as soon as they had exited the bathroom.

“Listen Jess,” he said stopping only for a moment. “I have to help get Kyuhyun home. I had a good time. Thanks for inviting me. I’ll see you at the library.”

“But…” she started a little shocked at Siwon’s directness.

“Let’s go” he said to Ara, interrupting Jessica as he started walking again. He had no idea where he was going, but Ara started guiding him again when she realized he didn’t want to get stuck talking to Jessica. She looked back at her best friend and shrugged with a ‘sorry, I hope this didn’t ruin your night’ look in her eyes. He heard an angry huff behind him, but he really didn’t care. He made a mental note to apologize the next time he saw her and pushed the guilt from his mind to focus back on Kyuhyun.

Ara led him out into the parking lot and opened the back seat of her car so Siwon could place him into the seat. He leaned gently through the door, making sure not to hit the boy’s head on the way as he sweetly released the boy from his arms. He got Kyuhyun settled against the back of the soft leather upholstery, but Kyuhyun wouldn’t let go of Siwon’s neck. He looked worriedly at Ara and she just laughed.

“I can give you a ride back,” she said to the charming older boy leaning half inside/half outside the back door of her car.

He smiled sheepishly as he scooted into the seat next to Kyuhyun. He buckled the boy in and nervously laughed back at Ara when she closed the door and climbed in to the driver’s seat. Kyuhyun’s body relaxed against him and his head fell gradually into Siwon’s lap. Seemingly on their own, Siwon’s finger’s moved to Kyuhyun’s head. He ran them gently through Kyuhyun’s hair and felt his eyes droop as the low rumble of the car overtook his senses.

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