Thump thump... Thump thump...

Oh... So my heart is still beating... I sighed. That means... I'm still alive...

I drunkenly stared at the spinning marble tiles, willing my tears to stay in my eyes. But they never listen.

As my face became my usual teared-stained face, memories of her keeps coming into my mind. Everytime.

Whoever said that alcohol could help you forget was lying. Well... it did work at first but now... It only made memories of her become even stronger.

I'm tired... Kwon Yuri... I'm tired of your games. Stop it. Stop bothering me...

I'm nothing, I'm useless, I can't even have the self control to stop these stupid tears from falling.

Why do everybody like you, Yuri ah? Why you everybody care for you, but not me? What did I do wrong? What did I do to hurt you, Yuri ah? 

I'm sorry. Sorry for being dense, sorry for being stupid. Sorry that I didn't know that I was hurting you everytime you smiled.

Sorry for making you cry. 

That's right, I'm the bad guy. No one cares if I'm hurt, because they only care about you. So why should I care if I'm alive? No one cares...

I took another gulp of whiskey, feeling it burning down my throat.

I thought we were happy... I really did, Yuri... I really did. How was I to know that you were unhappy, when everytime, all you did was mask your feelings? We were supposed to be the best of friends, THE couple. The perfect ones...

How was I to know that there were cracks in the life that I thought was perfect.

Oh Yuri ah... If only I knew how to gain sympathy like how you do, if only I knew how to voice out my thoughts in a more proper way.

Hurt, pain... What are these when no one cares, when I'm sitting, alone, in the living room?

It's alright, I laughed, as I felt a smile imprinted on my face.

You win, Yuri ah. You always did, you always do. In a few moments... You will be the ultimate winner, because that's what you desire, no?

"Yah! Choi Sooyoung!"

That familar voice woke me a little from my drunken state. Ah... You... 

Taeyeon.

She had one hand pressing against my shoulder, her innocent brown eyes staring into mine. "You ok?"

"S-Sorry..." My words were slurred, and my vision was blurred.

Kim Taeyeon... The only one left, the only one who still cares for me... 

Guilt pierced through me as I knew what Taeyeon would be facing in a few moments. I'm sorry Taeyeon... I know that you care, I know... But...

The others don't.

I closed my eyes, relishing the last bit of kindness the world had for me.